Multiple Wives, Multiple Husbands, Not at the Same Time

The title needs work, but in essence, Should Polygamy be allowed for consenting adults? How should Polygamy be recognized in the Courts? What are the benefits and costs of such relationships?

The New York Times (www.nytimes.com) has a great debate of 6 "experts" comparing their pros and cons in today's online edition. http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/12/17/should-plural-marriage-be-legal
 One or two writers are concerned for the rights of women in these multiple relationship marriages, but all writers assume that the multiples will be women and not men. So very sexist.

A Step in the Wrong Direction

W. Bradford Wilcox, the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and a senior fellow at the Institute for Family Studies, is the author of “Gender and Parenthood: Biological and Social Scientific Perspectives.” He is on Twitter.

Polygamy Is Bad for Women

Shoshana Grossbard is a professor of economics emerita at San Diego State University and a visiting professor of economics at the University of Zaragoza. In 2010, she testified as an expert witness at a constitutional reference case in British Columbia aimed at determining the validity of Canada's polygamy law.

Two writers deftly compare the Gay  Marriage debate with Polygamy:

Enough With the Scare Tactics

John Corvino, chairman of the philosophy department at Wayne State University, is the author of "What’s Wrong With Homosexuality?"

 

Legally, No Different From Same-Sex Unions

Ron Den Otter is an associate professor of political science at Cal Poly San Luis Opisbo.

 

While another is ready to open all doors:

We Are a Nation of Boundary Breakers

Melynda Price is an associate professor at the University of Kentucky College of Law and blogs at Thoughts of an Ivory Tower Interloper.

 

Finally a writer pleads for intelligent debate and compassion with regard to laws that define the most basic human relationships.

Understanding Who ‘They’ Are

Ralph Richard Banks, the Jackson Eli Reynolds professor of law at Stanford Law School, is the author of "Is Marriage for White People? How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone."

 

Of course as a Collaborative Divorce Attorney, I am in favor of Adults making their own decisions with regard to both the making of marriage contracts and the breaking up of same. If you find the discussions above interesting, visit my website, www.aubreylaw.com or drop me an email aubreylaw@gmail.com , or call me at 407-645-3297. I look forward to hearing from you!

Why Did the Court Do That?

Sometimes you hear of a court case and immediately say "WHAT???"

Just think of the McDonalds Coffee Case, where the little old lady spilled coffee in the drive thru and sued McDonalds for Millions of Dollars and was eventually awarded 8 Million Dollars. WHAT???

Then there is this case out of New York. 

Read opinion (NY Unified Courts @ www.nycourts.gov)

Brett M.D. v. Elizabeth A.D.
972 N.Y.S.2d 36
(New York Supreme Court, Appellate Division, First Department, October 1, 2013)

             Regardless of the mother's allegations against the father regarding domestic violence and sexual abuse of the child, the Appellate Court found the proper venue was New York, not Florida where the Mother and Child were currently living. WHAT??? These incidents allegedly occurred in New York, the father had agreed to pay the child's travel expenses to New York for the proceedings and any related evaluations, and, whenever feasible, the court would permit mother to appear at proceedings telephonically from Florida, at little expense to her. WHAT??? Ok, the mother had moved to Florida with the child just one month before the father filed a custody case in New York, where the child was born and had lived most of his life. When you have all the facts the court reviewed, and not just the headlines from the paper, the answer may become more reasonable. Or not.

As attorneys, we are sometimes prevented from showing the court ALL THE FACTS. Sometimes "fact" is actually Opinion, and may even be biased. One side's view of facts is always distorted toward their view of the entire case. The other side doesn't want the "fact" interpreted a certain way, and expresses its Opinion of the reason for the "Fact" being presented . . . at Trial, anything can happen.

Oh, back to the McDonalds case. There were many facts that failed to make the news. You can read the Wikipedia account here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants

When you have questions, call me 407-645-3297 or visit my website www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to speaking with you!
 

Why Does Divorce have to be So Complex?

Divorce, according to Wikipedia is the termination of a marital union, the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between a married couple. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce

Simply put, Divorce ends a marriage. Why is that so Difficult?

Almost every week the New York Times contains an article about divorce, whether involving the children of divorce in a Broadway play, the Collaborative process, a documentary film about divorce in foreign lands, responses to the legislature's plans for "no-fault" divorce, http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/opinion/17coontz.html?pagewanted=all or salacious articles regarding specific persons and their problems with divorce, such as the media mogul Rupert Murdoch: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/14/business/media/rupert-murdoch-files-for-divorce-after-14-years-of-marriage.html
At least for Murdoch, the end may be near:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/20/business/media/murdoch-divorce-said-to-be-almost-final.html?_r=0

If you pay attention to the news media, you might think divorce is either all too common or incredibly complex. Specific articles regarding divorce after 50,  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/22/fashion/weddings/divorce-after-50-grows-more-common.html

You may observe that the "children of divorce" suffer years of trauma to their psyche. Even the participants in the divorce process may look to coaches or therapy sessions to help their adjustment to single life. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/16/fashion/a-program-that-aims-to-lead-to-post-divorce-peace.html

Every major religion has teachings on Divorce, whether it be the requirement of a "get" for Jewish women to be divorced, Islamic requirements for an Imam's approval of the divorce. Even Scientologists have interesting issues:   http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/fashion/for-scientologists-divorce-is-no-simple-matter.html

An article last year detailed the Divorce Hotel where, in a weekend, couples could complete all the paperwork to finalize their divorce. The cost ranged between $3,500 and $10,000 depending on many factors. Unfortunately the Divorce Hotel is in the Netherlands! http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/27/business/the-divorce-hotel-a-true-weekend-getaway.html

Do you know why many lawyers support Same-sex marriage? Same-Sex DIVORCE!
We see in Mississippi the real national problem related to Same-sex marriage - no not those parochial concerns of religion - How do you get a divorce if you were married in Massachusetts and move to Texas? How do you get a divorce when the State of Texas doesn't even recognize the marriage? http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/28/us/mississippi-quest-for-a-same-sex-divorce.html

If you have questions regarding Alimony, Child Support, Equitable Distribution, Retirement Plans, Marital Property, call me 407-645-3297 or visit my website: www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to helping you!

Another good UCF Post on Passing Unequal Shares in a Will

http://ucfgiving.org/?pageID=34&docID=25

When parents plan to divide their estate, problems may be forthcoming. From ancient times until today, unequal distribution causes envy and strife. If you want to save your family some pain, confusion and conflict, if you want to avoid probate altogether, Call me or visit my website. If you have questions, we have answers, www.aubreylaw.com
Thanks!

Social Security and Divorce? You have Questions, We have Answers!

UCF, my Alma Mater, does a Great Job in its Planned Giving Department. I wish I had time to write blog posts like this one: http://ucfgiving.org/?pageID=31&docID=508
You may have to review the article titled "How Divorce Can Affect Your Social Security" but it is well worth the read!
Covered are notes on how to get your Ex-spouse's Social Security to benefit you! We cover this in most divorces, but what you do not know can hurt your long term financial wellbeing.
When you have questions regarding Alimony, Social Security, Equitable Distribution in your complex divorce, call me. Or visit my website www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to helping you.

What Makes a Great Marriage? What Makes a Better Divorce?

Saw a Blog today that listed 7 traits of a Great Marriage. It was very interesting, especially the part about not living on leftovers (not food but time)
You can read it here: http://davewillis.org/7-traits-that-separate-good-marriages-from-great-marriages/

As my office was being cleaned this past weekend, I found a copy of The Great Divorce, by C.S.Lewis. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Divorce
THIS IS NOT A BOOK ABOUT DIVORCE!!!!
It is a religious book about the difference between Heaven and Hell. I enjoyed it and continue to paraphrase its ideas.

What I really want to do is combine these two works. A Great Marriage can come to an end for many reasons. It doesn't have to be a Bitter Fight. Sometimes over 20 years people just grow up differently. The saying goes:
                                "A Man marries a Woman hoping she will never change.
                                                              A Woman marries a Man hoping to change him.
                                                                                              They are Usually both wrong."

I prefer Collaborative Divorce because it allows for growth and change while maintaining and in many cases improving the lines of communication that Must Remain Intact when children or grandchildren are involved. How nice when parents can work together on their only Daughter's wedding without becoming the sideshow or headache of the affair.

If you have questions about Collaborative Divorce, Call me! 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to speaking with you!

What does a Top Tier Divorce Lawyer Offer?

The Top Ten List is here: http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/09/27/power-of-10-the-secrets-of-an-a-list-divorce-attorney/?src=rechp

If you want to see how I measure up, visit my website www.aubreylaw.com or just call me: 407-645-3297.

Question: Do you have to pay Sisters who care for Mom and Dad as they grow older?

In Elder Care we often use home health aids whether trained or untrained. A new law scheduled for implementation January 1 of 2015 requires these workers be paid under federal minimum wage guidelines.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/24/opinion/home-care-in-the-home-stretch.html?src=rechp

Attention Veterans: Many are Available to Help

I am a veteran. If you are too, you should check out this website:

http://www.veteransaidbenefit.org/

 

Do you know about Veterans Aid and Attendance benefits?

visit: http://www.veteransaidbenefit.org/aid_and_attendance_pension_benefit.htm

 

The VA is trying to help, many people are also trying to help.

 

VA Launches Incentive to Increase the Dollar Benefit for Disability Claims

On August 1, 2013 the Department of Veterans Affairs division of Veterans Benefits Administration announced a substantial two year-long incentive for veterans filing claims under the new fully developed claim system.  This initiative takes effect on August 6, 2013 and runs through August 5, 2015.  For first-time claims for disability compensation – using a fully developed claim – VA will grant an additional year of benefit, if the claim is successful.  According to Thomas Day, chief training officer of the Senior Veterans Service Alliance, this is a substantial incentive to use fully developed claims.  Mr. Day used an example of a veteran rated at 60% disability who would normally receive $12,312 in his first year of an award under the traditional claim procedure but who could receive $24,624 in his first year of an award using the fully developed claim process.  Mr. Day also pointed out that for attorneys or agents who assist with appeals, this example may result in up to an additional $2,462 in fees for that attorney or agent who successfully represents the veteran using a fully developed claim depending on whether the incentive also applies to fully developed claim appeals.

The Department of Veterans Affairs announced this week that Veterans filing an original Fully Developed Claim (FDC) for service-connected disability compensation may be entitled to up to one-year of retroactive disability benefits. The retroactive benefits, which are in effect Aug. 6, 2013, through Aug. 5, 2015, are a result of a comprehensive legislative package passed by Congress and signed into law by President Obama last year.

"VA strongly encourages Veterans to work with Veterans Service Organizations to file Fully Developed Claims and participate in this initiative, since it means more money in eligible Veterans' pockets simply by providing VA the information it needs up front," said Allison A. Hickey, Under Secretary for Benefits. "At the same time, it helps reduce the inventory of pending claims by speeding the process."
Filing an FDC is typically the fastest way for Veterans to receive a decision on their claims because Fully Developed Claims require Veterans to provide all supporting evidence in their possession when they submit their claims. Often, this is evidence that VA legally must attempt to collect on the Veteran's behalf, which is already in the Veteran’s possession, or is evidence the Veteran could easily obtain, like private treatment records.
When Veterans submit such evidence with their claims, it significantly reduces the amount of time VA spends gathering evidence from them or other sources -- often the longest part of the claims process. While VA will still make efforts to obtain federal records on the Veterans' behalf, the submittal of non-federal records (and any federal records the Veteran may have) with the claim allows VA to issue a decision to the Veteran more quickly. Typically, VA processes FDCs in half the time it takes for a traditionally filed claim.
FDCs can be filed digitally through the joint, DoD-VA online portal, eBenefits (www.ebenefits.va.gov). VA encourages Veterans who cannot file online to work with an accredited Veterans Service Organization (VSO) who can file claims digitally on Veterans' behalf. While submitting an FDC provides a faster decision for any compensation or pension claim, only Veterans who are submitting their very first compensation claim as an FDC are potentially eligible for up to one-year of retroactive disability benefits under the newly implemented law.
FDCs help eliminate VA's claims backlog because they increase production of claims decisions and decrease waiting times. Also, VA assigns FDCs a higher priority than other claims which means Veterans receive decisions to their claim faster than traditional claims.
VA continues to prioritize other specific categories of claims, including those of seriously wounded, terminally ill, Medal of Honor recipients, former Prisoners of War, the homeless and those experiencing extreme financial hardship. As part of its drive to eliminate the claims backlog in 2015, VA also gives a priority to claims more than a year old.
In May, VA announced a new partnership with Veterans Service Organizations and others known as the "Community of Practice," an effort that seeks to reduce the compensation claims backlog for Veterans by increasing the number of FDCs filed by Veterans and their advocates.
VA is continuing to implement several initiatives to meet the Department’s goal to eliminate the claims backlog in 2015. In May, VA announced that it was mandating overtime for claims processors in its 56 regional benefits offices to increase production of compensation claims decisions through the end of FY 2013. In April, VA launched an initiative to expedite disability compensation claims decisions for Veterans who have a waited a year or longer
As a result of these initiatives, VA's total claims inventory remains at lower levels not seen since August 2011. The number of claims in the VA backlog – claims pending over 125 days – has been reduced by 17 percent compared to the highest point in March 2013.
Veterans can learn more about disability benefits on the joint Department of Defense—VA web portal eBenefits at www.ebenefits.va.gov, and the FDC program at www.benefits.va.gov/fdc.

 

In August, the Government Accountability Office (GAO ) released the details of its investigation of accreditation practices of the Department of Veterans Affairs' Office of General Counsel. Accreditation allows attorneys to assist veterans in applying for claims, and is regulated by the DVA-OGC. No one may assist a veteran in the preparation, presentation or prosecution of a claim for veterans benefits without this  'Accreditation' authority.  Four senators responsible for veteran’s issues commissioned the report from the GAO – which was highly critical of the oversight provided by the Office of General Counsel in granting accreditation authority and in administering ongoing accreditation requirements as well as the handling of complaints relating to individuals who are or who are not accredited.

The GAO report recommends the DVA-OGC should address the following concerns:
1. Ensure appropriate level resources to implement the accreditation program, including options for utilizing other VA components and resources outside of OGC.
2. Strengthen initial and continuing knowledge requirements for accreditation representatives.
3. Enhance communications with claimants, including reports of complaints related to their representation. Explore options for incorporating information about representation and veterans’ rights into existing communications and outreach efforts.
4. Address potentially abusive practices by representatives who lack accreditation, charge inappropriate fees, or sell financial products to claimants that are not in their best interest. VA should consider additional authority for such practices and to enforce program rules.

VA generally concurs with the GAO that these issues need to be addressed and in some cases the department will be taking corrective action to provide better oversight. Of particular concern to accredited attorneys and accredited agents at this point are the following actions that VA may initiate in the near future.

• Doing a better job of conducting background investigations for applications for accreditation from attorneys and agents.
• Working through the current backlog of yearly certifications of good standing and taking corrective action towards those who are not in good standing or who have not submitted their certification.
• Working on a solution to notify agents and attorneys who are deficient in completing CLE to provide proper notification and follow-up action. VA does keep track of those individuals completing CLE but does not notify those who are deficient. In addition VA does not notify or identify anywhere on its website those individuals who have submitted CLE or acknowledge compliant completion of their training.
• Looking at better training for attorneys and agents in order to make them more effective in representing claimants. A major complaint about attorneys and agents is that most are deficient in the knowledge to adequately handle all types of claims. Veterans service organizations, in particular, complain about the number of claim questions they regularly receive from accredited attorneys and accredited agents.
• Coming up with a better system of notifying claimants of their right to complain about representation and about the unlawful charging of fees. VA will most likely pursue congressional legislation to put teeth into its ability to punish accredited individuals who are not compliant and go after non-accredited individuals who are taking advantage of veterans.

Everyone should be aware that the Office of General Counsel generally recognizes that attorneys can charge a pre-filing consultation fee that is related to a claim but is not a part of the preparation, presentation and prosecution of a claim. The OGC allows that any accredited attorney or agent may charge a fee for any services not related to assistance with a claim. Of course, accredited attorneys and accredited agents can charge a reasonable fee for assistance after a notice of disagreement has been filed or if they are engaged for a fee to provide an initial claim by a disinterested third-party. Claim representatives of veterans service organizations are absolutely prohibited from charging any fee of any kind.

 

 

What is Domestic Violence? Definitions Change!

Wow, that is a Loaded Question!
Years ago movies routinely included scenes of a woman becoming distraught and "needing" a slap on the face to "snap out of it."

Thankfully, we live in a different society! Physical violence to enforce your will is NEVER acceptable. Even Vladimir Putin said in a recent New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/) op-ed, "We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement." http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/putin-plea-for-caution-from-russia-on-syria.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Darrel Owens' article in today's Orlando Sentinel's detailed the 50 year marriage of Randy and Sharon Berridge. http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/columnists/orl-darrylowens,0,3266830.columnist
The title, "Couple so Happy Together after 50 years" is sweet enough, but a disturbing first three paragraphs detail the time Randy pulled the distributer cap out of the car to prevent his wife fleeing the marital home. While the very next line indicates the couple laughed about it, such action today might be considered Domestic Violence!
What a change in 50 years.

Wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) defines "Domestic Violence" as "a pattern of behavior" involving intimate or family relations taking many forms, "including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation. . . Domestic violence and abuse is not limited to obvious physical violence. Domestic violence can also mean endangerment, criminal coercion, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, trespassing, harassment, and stalking.^[5]"

The "Happy Couple" of yesterday fits the electronic world definition of Domestic Violence. Thankfully they were able to talk about their disagreements without resort to legal intervention.

Also thankfully, the limited story in the Sentinel might not meet the Florida Definition of Domestic Violence. The Florida Statutes define domestic Violence according to Section 741.28: Domestic Violence "means any assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another family or household member, and includes, in Section 741.402, a threat of these, regardless of whether they have been reported to law enforcement.  http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.28.html
http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.402.html

The Civilized Diplomatic and Political Settlement in areas of Family Law comes through Mediation and Collaboration. Collaborative Divorce removes threats by promoting reasoned analysis and solution.

If Domestic Violence is a part of your life and you want it to stop, call me at 407-645-3297. I may be able to help in ways you have yet to consider.

Please visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information and links regarding Divorce, Child Support, Alimony, Equitable Distribution, and many other topics. I am an Attorney, licensed in Florida, practicing in the areas of Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, and Guardianships. I have helped numerous husbands, wives and families seek a fresh start.

Dividing Assets in Divorce

Who gets what when you get divorced? This is one of the questions most people think about when the topic of divorce comes up. The Answer? Equitable Distribution.

Equitable is not always Equal. Dividing up marital assets and deciding who has to pay which debts can be rather tricky, especially since the real estate crash. Beginning in 2007 and continuing until last year, many homes fell in value. Some Marital Homes lost more than 60% of their pre-crash value. Over 2013 we have begun to see reversals and many homes are once again gaining value and in some cases Equity. Is this the right time to file for Divorce? Call me at 407-645-3297 to set a time to discuss your particular situation. You can always visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Dividing Equity can usually be done either by trading other assets, including retirement accounts or buying out the other party's interest. Of course you know Equity is that portion of the value of the home that you own, that value above the mortgages. For example: A $250,000 home with a mortgage of $180,000 and a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC) of $20,000 would have Equity of $50,000. Were the owners to sell the home and divide the equity they could each receive $25,000 (Of course this assumes two owners, and no selling costs).

Equitable Distribution begins to get more complicated when the home is "underwater" owing more in mortgages than the actual value of the home. Owing more than a home is worth may lead parties to consider a "Strategic Default."

For example, someone who purchased their home in May, 2007, may owe more than twice what the home is worth. Home values in the Orlando area hit their peak according to Zillow.com (www.zillow.com) between May 2006 and August 2007. A home in the 32801 zip code purchased in May 2007 for $225,000 could be worth as little as $114,000 today due solely to market forces. Who is willing to pay the $200,000 mortgage still owing on the home that is worth so little today.

Strategic Default http://schott.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/26/strategic-defaults/ is the homeowners plan to default on the mortgage and stay in the home as long as possible, rent free, until the foreclosure is completed and the bank forces them out. The New York Times had this to say about Strategic Default.   http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/magazine/10FOB-wwln-t.html   You might think this is an awful thing to do, but the Home Mortgage Bankers Association did the same exact thing in Washington DC.  http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2011/02/04/mortgage-groups-old-building-flipped-for-a-profit/

When homeowners face foreclosure, the extra stress can lead them to consider divorce as one alternative. If you are facing divorce, call me or visit my website www.aubreylaw.com

I will be here to help.

Happy Labor Day!

Since I will not be in the office on Monday, I wanted to wish you all a Happy Labor Day!

Of course the protests going on Thursday, detailed in the New York Times here: http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/29/marching-at-mcdonalds-for-a-15-wage/?hp
As you probably know, the Labor in Labor Day celebrates those that make the country prosperous. The WORKERS of America have always been the backbone to our greatness.
For the history as written more than a century ago, look here: http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F3091EFD3E5911738DDDA80B94D0405B828CF1D3
 A few years later, Samuel Gompers, the President of the American Federation of Labor, the AFL in our current AFL-CIO, penned this: http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F30612F7355D16738DDDAD0894D1405B808DF1D3

When workers are abused, mistreated and underpaid, Unions begin to look pretty good. The Unions negotiated wonderful employment packages for the Steel Industry, the Auto Industry, and many others that formed the backbone or our manufacturing society right up until the "Union busting 80's" came along and encouraged opposition to unions at all levels of society. You may recall the Air Traffic Controllers' strike that Ronald Reagan oversaw as President of the United States. When he fired all the air traffic controllers, their union was done. Later free trade agreements allowed U.S. industry to move overseas without paying any import duties. The work force in other countries does not have the history of union organization that protects their poorest workers.

Of a more recent vintage: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/06/opinion/06mon2.html

Finally, from a school assignment come these questions:

–What does “union” mean?
–Why would an employee want to join a union?
–Why might some employers discourage their employees from joining a union?
–What different types of workers’ unions exist?
–What laws regulate the workplace, and why were they instituted?
–What events in history have illustrated the need to identify and protect the rights of workers?
–How might workers in a union voice that they do not like some of the things happening at a workplace?
–What might happen if a worker in a union goes against a union decision, such as working during a strike?
–How has the development of unions affected the United States economy?
–What issues still exist in the workplace that unions might want to change?

How you answer these questions says as much about your background as it does about the future of our great country.
Have a Happy Labor Day. If you need assistance with legal issues such as Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, or Guardianships, call me or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I love the New York Times

Recently on a trip to New York City, I had the opportunity to see a baseball game. The Yankees were NOT in town as is so often the case when I am in NYC, so as I always do, I went to a METS game. The Mets colors match my Florida Gators and they had a promotion going on where you could get a free Jersey for subscribing to the New York Times. The Jersey was Black, with orange and blue trim. My Winter Park High School Wildcats team colors are Black and Orange, the same as my son's school, Tusculum College. Win the Trifecta of Spectator Apparel!

The cost of subscribing to the New York Times was only $17 per month, less than 1/4 of the price of the jersey in the store. Win again!

Now, I get the Sunday NY Times each weekend. I get the daily electronic version http://www.nytimes.com/ of the paper on my computer each day. Win Again!

Best of all, I really Love the New York Times. The articles are well written, informative and in depth. For example, in my Elder Law practice, I often deal with grandparents who have lost touch with their children and grandchildren. An opinion piece today, related one person's experience with similar situations. http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/28/forgetting-grandma/ Elders can always find additional assistance with the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, NAELA, and in Florida, Florida Academy of Elder Law Attorneys.
Some stories appear just entertaining but as you read them you notice so much more and learn more than you ever planned to consider. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/28/fashion/weddings/divorce-whisperer-mediating-with-parents-isnt-easy-field-notes.html

A story just two weeks ago really set me thinking about my Family Law practice. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/10/your-money/from-a-divorce-in-the-affluent-class-lessons-for-all.html?pagewanted=all In high asset divorces, the emotional impact may be the same as others, but the financial wrangling can overwhelm parties who are accustomed to little worry over daily finances. I have worked to promote Collaborative Divorce in my area of practice and today saw the benefit first hand as my client walked into court, answered a question from the judge and walked out with her divorce 20 minutes later. Yes, we had filed the case 60 days ago. Yes, there were other meetings between the parties and their attorneys. Yes, there were many complex papers to complete; however, for the clients, we removed most of the stress of being in court and having others decide what would become of their lives. The Clients were the only ones making decisions about their family. The Lawyers, the Judge, the System did NOT decide who got what or paid how much to whom.

Even a simple search on the New York Times finds support for the Collaborative Process. http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/#/Collaborative+divorce/ More than 30 articles appear, and the list keeps growing, showing the financial, psychological and Family benefits of Collaborative Divorce. Every now and then, I am truly proud of what we do in helping families improve their lives.

I love spending just a few minutes reading the paper each day. Now I have to be careful not to get caught up in following one great article after another in the NY Times. If I can be of assistance to you or your family, please call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Parental Alienation Syndrome -Seminar Sunday- Real Enough for Canada

Every week or so I get an email from the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, PAAO, with resources for families experiencing Alienation by one parent. Sometimes the information includes very helpful links to outlines ( http://www.paawareness.org/video/BrianLudmer-Short%20.pdf, )seminars (https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/484691638) , etc.

Sunday August 25, PAAO is hosting an online webinar regarding Parental Alienation entitled: Organize Your Own Court Case.
The Seminar link is https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/484691638.

I recommend NOT attempting your own litigation in a complex divorce case involving Parental Alienation. The risks are just too high.
Child Custody, or Timesharing as we refer to it in Florida is a critical component of your child's development.
Timesharing also impacts Child Support. It never fails in a Modification Case seeking additional timesharing that the party against whom the pleadings are filed believes the
Many people don't consider the implications on Child Support when they work out their Parenting Plan.
If you have Questions, Call Me! 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Adultery, Blasphemy, Christians and Divorce

A, B, C, D, E, F, G . . . elemenope . . . If only Life were as simple!

A client came to my office recently and told me that her "Christian" mother had called her an Adulterer and kicked her out of the house. We filed her divorce several weeks ago and she was living with her mother following domestic violence in her marital home. Unfortunately, her mother feels she should simply endure the violence because "what God hath brought together, let no man put asunder," to quote the traditional wedding vows blessing.

Blasphemy is defined as either an untruth or taking god's name in vane. I consider using "Christian" language in decidedly unchristian manner as a form of Blasphemy. Obviously her mother was referring to Matthew 5:31, 32 (It was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.)When someone says, "I want a Christian Attorney." I usually reply, "No you do not." or "I don't think you do." If you wanted a Christian Attorney, you would settle with your adversary far from the courthouse as Jesus himself instructed in other verses in Matthew. "If anyone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two." You can do your own research at https://www.bible.com/bible/100/mat.5.nasb

Christians sometimes tend to view Jesus' words as being important. They are, but must be placed in context of the Roman Empire and the Province of Judea where Jesus lived and taught. Roman law allowed a man to put away his wife by divorce for any reason. Women had no such right to seek a divorce as they were mere chattel to be bought or sold by their fathers. Men could divorce their wives, but women could not, even for domestic violence, adultery, neglect, abandonment, etc. Since Women were tied to their father, husband, or son, they were destitute without such patriarchal support.

Divorce has been around for more than 3,000 years, but a Woman's Right to sue for divorce is quite new. Today in Florida, the only reason needed for a marriage is "the Marriage is Irretrievably Broken." When a spouse physically abuses and violates his or her "true love" how can the marriage survive?

Every now and then I see a story in the news that makes me want to help. Some friends have put together a seminar on Domestic Violence. Associated Baptist Press reporter Bob Allen writes: American Baptist Women’s Ministries will lead an online “virtual mission encounter” on the topic of domestic violence Sept. 23-27.
“Garlands instead of Ashes: Domestic Violence” is the third of four learning opportunities in 2013 allowing women to meet online and share their passion for mission without the expense of travel and having to take time off work. http://www.abpnews.com/culture/social-issues/item/8786-domestic-violence-focus-of-virtual-tour#.UhYEYTbD-M8
No person should be forced to live with an abuser, and especially not for "Christian reasons."
 
If Domestic Violence is a part of your life and you want it to stop, call me at 407-645-3297. I may be able to help, even if I don't like the phrase "Christian Attorney." You can also visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information and links regarding Divorce, Child Support, Alimony, Equitable Distribution, and many other topics. I am an Attorney, licensed in Florida, practicing in the areas of Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, and Guardianships. I have helped numerous husbands and wives seek a fresh start.

Ask Your Attorney to Attend!

Modification Workshop – Orlando, FL August 26, 2013

 

 

Event Details

Track I: 8 Hour Course (Includes 1 hour ethics) for Mediators: Residential Mortgage Modification Course pursuant to Administrative Order 2013-3 for inclusion on the Bankruptcy Court panel of mediators for the United States Bankruptcy Court, Middle District of Florida
Track II: 8 Hour Course (Includes 1 hour ethics) for Attorneys, Staff and Law Students: Successful Mortgage Mediation through Bankruptcy

Time

8:30 a.m. – 4:35 p.m.

Cost

Early Registration through August 18, 2013
Attorney / Mediator: $349.00
Staff: $249.00
Law Students: $150.00
Late Registration begins August 19, 2013
Attorney / Mediator: $399.00
Staff: $299.00
Law Students: $199.00
Flash drive of materials and resource tools are provided. Binder cost is $75.00

Location

UCF Executive Development Center at Ying Academic Center
University of Central Florida
36 West Pine Street
Orlando, Florida 32801

View Larger Map
For parking details, click here: Directions and Parking to EDC 2011
Hotel Information: Crown Plaza Hotel Orlando

• Workshops

Legal Realities of Complex Litigated Divorce Proceedings

When people want a divorce there are several questions they must consider, the How's, When's Where's, Who's, Why's and What's.

How to tell the spouse? How to tell the children? How to tell the rest of the family? How to go about filing a divorce?

When should I tell my Spouse, children, family, and friends? When should I move out or insist my spouse move out? When should I find a job? When should I consult an attorney?

Where should I live? Where should my children live? Where should we file the divorce?

Who should get an attorney? Who should represent me? Who should know what?

Why do I want a divorce? Why should I stay? Why should I care about all these questions??????

Finally, the What's!
What is the law applied to my case? What do I do if . . .? What will my spouse do? What will everyone think? What will happen to all our savings? What will happen to the china cabinet mom gave me and all its contents we have accumulated? What do I do with my wedding ring?
 
You want Answers? The Court wants answers. The Courts want answers to Alimony and Child Support. Who will pay and How Much? The Courts want to know who is going to pay attorney's fees. Courts will decide who gets the High Assets or valuable Personal Property. The Court can decide what to do with the Marital Home. There is an easier way!

That is a long list of questions with very few easy answers! Some of the questions I would ask are:
How much time do you want to devote to court proceedings?
When do you want all this to be completed?
Where do you want to end up after all is finalized by the court?
Who will win/lose or decide?
Why does anyone have to let the Judge Decide?
What do you want to happen with your children? Of course my questions are directly related to a Collaborative Divorce, in which the Husband and Wife make all the decisions about the Property, Assets, Timing, and living situations, and the Mother and Father make all the decisions about the children. Some people think this is a Radical idea. Others believe that two people who could not get along well enough to remain married Cannot Possibly Get Along well enough to decide what is best for their family. I Disagree. From years of practice, we in the Collaborative Practice community have witnessed the most intractable situations turn out with everyone in agreement to a reasonable outcome.

Attorneys who are not committed to the collaborative practice and merely offer it alongside their mainly Litigation Practice, do no favors to their clients. Litigated cases are almost always significantly more expensive than Collaborative Cases. Further, Collaborative cases allow you to decide the timeframes for completion. You are not forced to work at the court's convenience, rather, your time schedule is of paramount importance.

Finally, you get to make the decisions affecting your family. By negotiated agreement you and your spouse will decide all issues. That is a radical idea. Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or visit the Collaborative Family Law of Central Florida website at www.cfl-cfl..org

Investigate the questions. Get answers to your questions. You have the Power! 

Frequently Asked Questions: Mortgage Modification Mediation

For the past year, I have been involved in a company which trains attorneys to defend Foreclosures through Bankruptcy and the Mortgage Modification Process.

While normally mediations in foreclosure proceedings are not very successful, (less than 5 percent result in loan modifications or the owner being able to remain in the home) we have seen great success through a relatively new bankruptcy court proceedure requiring Mediation. In the Orlando area,  more than 70 percent of homeowners have been able to modify their mortgages and keep their homes through this program.

Yes, you read that correctly, higher than 70 % success rate through Mortgage Mediation in Bankruptcy in the Orlando Division of the Middle District of Florida!

While the program is taylored toward bankruptcy, any attorney can benefit from the training provided. To learn more, visit www.mortgagemodificationeducation.com or call me at 407-645-3297.

Now for those FAQs:

Do I have to file bankruptcy to save my home? No, but you must not rule out this alternative.
Why do the banks make it so hard to get a modification? Banks and their underwriters have VERY STRICT Guidelines to qualify a home mortgage for modification.
Why does the bank want to foreclose my home?  The bank DOES NOT WANT YOUR HOME. The bank wants a PERFORMING LOAN. In fact the bank must meet very specific guidelines once the foreclosure is completed in selling the home which results in significant lost value. For this reason, banks attorneys are very reluctant to move foreward with the foreclosure and will even resist completing the foreclosure on anything other than their own timeframe.
Is it too late to save my home? Not if the Foreclosure is still pending. However, once the home is sold at auction, and title is issued by the court, you probably cannot save the home. However, you may be allowed to negotiate your leaving on favorable terms with the new owner.
Should I hire an attorney to represent me? Yes, but be very careful that the attorney is familiar with the Mortgage Mediation Program of the Bankruptcy Court. Avoid simple Foreclosure Defenses as they seldom result in Modification of the Mortgage allowing you to remain in the home.

For additional information, visit www.mortgagemodificationeducation.com my website at www.aubreylaw.com or call me at 407-645-3297.

I look forward to speaking with you! Aubrey

"Family Circus" Best - Not in Court

One of my favorite cartoons is Family Circus. One of my favorite cartoons included the following exchange between the characters 3 year old and 6 year old siblings:

Why are you crying?

Mom and Dad are yelling at each other.

But at least they are not yelling at you!

I know, but if they were yelling at me, at least I'd understand it!

Family conflict is difficult for children to understand. When parents fail to communicate, or communicate in abusive ways, children suffer the most, primarily because they do not understand. They try to understand Love through their parents' teaching, but when parents resort to yelling, children become stressed because they do not understand!
Mommy and Daddy love each other.
Mommy and Daddy love me.
Mommy and Daddy are yelling at each other.
Mommy and Daddy will yell at me.
So goes childhood logic. Children resort to acting out. Parents resort to discipline. The Spiral of Conflict has begun. Where will it end?

Collaborative Divorce seeks to place two parents on equal terms for communication with a trained guide to assist in adult, two-way communication. Many parents say they communicate better after a Collaborative Divorce than they Ever Did in the marriage.

What a shame we cannot get the communications right before the Marriage is endangered.

When you have questions regarding a Collaborative Divorce, Call me!
I will teach you effective ways to communicate.

How to Contact an Attorney

Today I received an Email:
How would you like to be contacted?
Email

Brief description of your legal issue:
Price range for divorce. Older couple, married 9 years, No children, Income husb works in construction wife receiving SS only. Homeowner, property value is upside down. owe more that is worth. No 401K or savings, living pay check to paycheck. How much will it cost to get a divorce and how long will it take for the divorce to become final. Thanks,

This email was initiated at the Findlaw FirmSite http://www.aubreylaw.com/Contact.shtml.

This is the letter I sent in response:

Dear Ms. _____________,

If you and your husband agree to divorce, and agree to divide all assets, your divorce could be very inexpensive. With agreements, you could be divorce in as little as 21 days. On the other hand, if you cannot agree, and the two of you fight it out in court, your divorce could take a very long time and take significantly more of your resources to complete.

I charge $1,500 for an Uncontested Divorce. A Contested matter begins at $3,000. Fees for filing are also required, $408 filing fee and approximately $42 in service of process charges.

Your divorce sounds as if it should be uncontested; it could also be completed in a Collaborative PRocess, where the two of you meet with advisers and work out the details, then file as "Uncontested."  If you choose a collaborative process, I would represent you for $1,500, but there may be some additional charges for excess time spent in meetings.

Please call my office to schedule an appointment.

If you have questions, call me at 407-645-3297, or send an email to: aubrey@aubreylaw.com

 

Aubrey Ducker

 

The Law Offices of

Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr. PLC

2020 Mizell Avenue

Winter Park, FL  32792

www.aubreylaw.com

Fla. Bar No.: 173680

Phone: 407-645-3297

Fax: 407-645-3298

I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Looking for a Lawyer - some pitfalls to avoid

If you need to hire a lawyer, look for someone with legal experience, reasonable personality and responsiveness to your needs.

The law is a popular second career. Don't assume that every middle aged lawyer has been a lawyer for decades. I have more than 14 years of experience as a lawyer, and have several more years reviewing contracts, researching legal issues and working with attorneys, in a variety of practice areas. This gives me the background and perspective to assess your legal needs. Many times, an experienced lawyer can provide a quick and simple solution or strategy, when a new attorney, though less expensive on an hourly basis, may spend several hours finding an answer.

I believe that it's also important that a lawyer understands what the client is going through. There are many good attorneys who have never been a party to litigation of any type. While that's fortunate for them, I don't believe that they appreciate their clients' needs as well as those of us who have - unfortunately -had the need to hire an attorney. Being a client gives attorneys new insight, and greater appreciation, for the stress and fear that a lawsuit or legal problem creates.

One attorney advertises on television, "I'm not here to be your friend, When you want aggressive legal representation, call the _________ Law Firm." I am glad that many of my clients call me "friend" long after the litigation is done. I am blessed by clients who refer their family and friends to my office and continue to consider me their attorney long after the final judgment is entered. Some of my colleagues are not so inclined.

Attorney Sarah C H Phillips says: "Aggressive behaviors run up legal fees, destroy any real chance of cooperation between parents, and leave children as the victims of litigation . . . Unfortunately I do still encounter lawyers who seem to believe that aggressive behaviours are what is expected of them. It's never helpful to have your client crying on the phone because of the latest obnoxious letter from the other side that does nothing to progress the case and everything to alienate the parties from each other further."

A great article on Aggressive Lawyers can be found here: http://benchandbarllc.com/aggressivelawyer/?goback=%2Egde_96041_member_244083492

I like the line: Good Lawyers Don't just "Try" cases; Good Lawyers Try to "Resolve" cases. 

Most important in Resolving Cases is responding in communication. When a client calls, or when an attorney calls, an answer should be forthcoming. I like to answer my own phone. I do not screen calls. My staff answers if I am in conference or on the other line, but never because "so and so" is calling!

When you need to talk, call me at 407-645-3297. You can also send an email to aubrey@aubreylaw.com or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to hearing from you! Aubrey

Men Only Divorce Firms - Is this a good idea?

One of the many feeds I follow asked the question, "Men Only Divorce Law Firms

What does this mean for the practice? For children?"

 

Responses varied but routinely agreed this MARKETING STRATEGY was INEFFECTIVE in helping families in general and men in particular.

 

I tend to agree. While I have represented many Men in divorces, with much success, I have never limited my practice to me or advertised as a "Men's Divorce Firm."

 

Representing only one side consistently produces inconsistant results and may lead the court to believe an attorney does not truly represent his client's "best interests" but is merely stating the Same Position Again.

 

Effective advocacy requires understanding the Court's view of each Individual family situation. In one family, full-time parenting by Mom OR Dad may be in the children's best interests; however, in a somewhat similar situation, Shared Parenting by both Dad and Mom, with an Equal Timeshare may be the most appropriate Parenting Plan. Having an Open and Objective viewpoint and legal knowledge of the issues at hand are imperative to competently representing a client in a Family Law matter.

 

Attorney Eileen Fein writes:  Some attorneys have noticed that on average, men make more money then women and can pay more fees.. Firms that represent only men tend to market to "men's rights" . and represent mostly angry men. Great strategy for making money. Not so good for families. I think it actually does a disservice to their client in that once the attorney gets that reputation, everyone (including Judges) understand that and the client is negatively typed before he gets a chance to do it himself.      (emphasis added)

 

Another, Jeffrey Wasserman writes: Family Law is what we practice. We do not practice men's or women's law. If you pigeonhole yourself by representing just one side, you can lose perspective on the family as a whole. I have gained a tremendous amount of insight by continually representing both sides and would encourage family lawyers to maintain an open an objective point of view regardless of which side you might represent.      

 

When you have Family Law questions, please call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com . You may also send me an email to aubreylaw@gmail.com 

 

I look forward to hearing from you. Aubrey                                                                    

High Asset Divorce and Collaboration

Greed, trust and divorce.
How much is enough?
If you built a home together with your spouse and later divorced, you might expect to sell the home and divide the proceeds. What if you bought an exisiting home, improved it, watched it grow as an asset, and then decided to part ways? Would you trust your spouse to accurately represent its value? Would you get an appraisal?

What if your spouse forced you out of the home and then claimed the home was worth less than you thought; then your spouse worked out a secret deal to sell the home while telling you it was appraised at a certain value, inducing you to sign a Marital Settlement Agreement.

You might think this is Fraud. You might think your attorney should have done more to check on the value of the marital home. You might ask the court to throw out the settlement agreement due to fraud.

If the "Home" was the Los Angeles Dodgers, and the value asserted to you was $300 Million, and you settled your divorce for $144 Million, you might be very upset to learn the Dodgers were sold two weeks later for $2 Billion Dollars. Two Billion Dollars make a much larger pile of cash than $144 Million.

http://gma.yahoo.com/jamie-mccourt-claims-foul-pitch-131m-divorce-002230290--abc-news-celebrities.html

The McCourts Divorce has been news for a while.  Do the words Greed, Trust, Divorce, Marital Asset, of Fraud seem different in light of the story above?  The comments following it consistently fault the Wife for being "greedy" or "not doing her homework" or "not being happy with what she agreed to and received." Forget that the law indicates the "property" should be divided EQUALLY. Most observers fault her for wanting a fair share. Some comments from women are the Most appalling: "Oh come on! Take the $131 million and be happy, you old witch. I'm 59, no longer pretty, and would love a payload of $131 million for any reason. Don't get greedy. Were you the driving force behind your ex's success? I think not."

In reality, the former Mrs. McCourt was intimately involved in the Dodgers operations up until "he 'fired' her, and 'from that point forward, he completely excluded her from every aspect of management...'
Clients in Collaborative Divorce proceedings have certain luxuries that litigated cases do not afford. One feature is communication. Communication breeds trust. Trust overcomes greed. Everyone walks away much healthier, happier and overall less combative.

In a Collaborative Divorce, we work together to help you make intelligent decisions affecting your family. Many clients find Collaborative Divorce encourages more honest communications and disclosures while minimizing the costs to your family. One of the best features of a Collaborative Divorce may be keeing your private information and affairs PRIVATE. Noone has to know until you decide what to tell them.

If you would like a private consultation regarding your rights under Florida Law, please call me at (407) 645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
You can also send an email to aubrey@aubreylaw.com or aubreylaw@gmail.com
Don't allow yourself to be cheated. You have certain rights under the law, but you must insist they be enforced. A

Senate Bill 718 and House Bill 231

TURNING BACK THE CLOCK on 30 years of progress in Family Law
An Update and Plea to Help Stop this Travesty

Recently the Florida House passed HB 231 mandating changes to divorce law that will make marriage much more palatable and divorce much easier. You see, if this becomes law, no man will fear alimony or child support. Changes proposed will END permanent alimony (never mind that permanent alimony is almost universally not permanent today). Changes will also guarantee child support will be minimal and discretionary. If the primary breadwinner doesn't want to pay support, they are guaranteed 50/50 timeshare, and can easily ask for more to "allow the other spouse maximum time to work" thereby lowering child support to next to nothing. Forget deadbeats, no order will issue requiring support while fighting it out.

OK, those are worst case scenarios, but anything is possible when this legislature is in session!

Here are some of the proposed changes:

- application of these new rules retroactively to alimony awards entered (within the past 15 years by agreement) regardless of whether the support was based upon the agreement of the parties or court ordered after trial;

- litigation of alimony changes carries a risk of attorneys fees, just for contesting the changes in court;

- The new law would REQUIRE the proof of increased income AND for TWO YEARS of increased income to be deemed permanent. Quite a hurdle for the person receiving alimony. There is no such requirement should the obligor seek to obtain downward modification. Oh, my pay went down, so I don't have to prove it or show the decreased income lasted 2 years.

- Possibly the Worst idea: The new law includes a presumption for 50/50 timesharing except in very limited circumstances (prove a danger to the child's health, safety and welfare)(this applies in ALL cases not just divorcing parents)

Another bad idea: if the obligor is unemployed at the time of the dissolution the spouse has to wait a full two years after they become employed before asking for spousal support to be modified. So, lose your job just prior to divorce and 2 years without alimony will certainly punish your former spouse for wanting a divorce!

If this passes out of the Senate tomorrow afternoon, and it looks probable, it will be on the House floor next week and then off to the Governor shortly thereafter. The Family Law Section is doing what it can to defeat these bills, having committed to a grassroots and media campaign to get the word out, but those efforts are going to run short without your help. I am therefore asking that if you have not done so in anticipation of this bill being voted upon by the full Senate tomorrow that you please contact your Senators and, after tomorrow, your Representatives (or all Senators and all Representatives) http://www.flsenate.gov/Senators/Find and http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Representatives/representatives.aspx and urge them to oppose this legislation. Then, remember how they voted when they run for office next time.

 

Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Aubrey

Why Collaborative Divorce?

There are MANY reasons to choose a Collaborative Divorce, Costs, Timeliness, Process, Control, CHILDREN.

The Costs associated with asking a Judge to decide major issues in a divorce case can range from hundreds to tens of thousands of dollars. Most attorneys know what the judge is likely to decide given the limited facts the judge will ultimately hear. So why should you give aways your children's college fund in order to risk the judge seeing things your former spouse's way? You should not.

Timliness is how long it will take to have the Judge make a decision. Just getting on the calendar for a hearing may take several weeks to several months. At hearing, if your attorney runs short of time, either because he did not prepare or because the other side managed to distract and stall the presentation of evidence for your case, you may have to wait several more weeks or months to finally have the Judge hear all the evidence allowing a ruling. That ruling may be subject to appeal, or the Judge may take some time to reduce an oral ruling to writing, delaying a few more weeks, or in the case of appeal, several more months.

In a Collaborative Case, time is determined by your attorney's scheduling with the other team members who are all working to Resolve the situation, not to delay decisions! This Collaborative Process puts YOU in Control of the Decisions. Having a Communications Coach, and your legal advisor, helping You Make the Decisions saves time, and ultimately results in a Much less Stressful process for your family. Ultimately, Collaborative Divorce results in Less Drama for children as Parents can learn to work together even though they are no longer married and living together. The reduction in stress in the household, along with new communications styles and mediums may have a lasting effect on your family, and especially your Children. Call me 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Still not convinced, according to Lauren Hansen, there are at least 9 more to consider when Children are involved:

9 negative effects divorce reportedly has on children

The Week – Thu, Mar 28, 2013

http://news.yahoo.com/9-negative-effects-divorce-reportedly-children-220900169.html

Just in case you missed it - Divorce brings on a world of issues for children.

We like to think children are resilient and can adapt easily, but in reality, childhood trauma manifests itself for YEARS to come in their lives.
Make the Decisions Now so in the future, your children will Thank you.

It's Friday but Sunday's Coming

Good Friday - I don't know what is good about it! Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World was Crucified about 2,000 years ago. Witnesses made accounts of His death. Other's made accounts of His life. And some others published accounts of His Resurrection. That is what I believe.

Thankfully, I believe we can have assurance of the Abundant Life. We can also know we are in God's Perfect Will in the Universe.

It has been said that Christmas is the Promise and Easter is the Fulfillment. I like that. We live in a world of brokenness, broken homes, broken lives, broke debtors, soulless banks. The Almighty Creator of the Universe, God cares more for us than our bank account or net worth.

God Loves You. God Wants You to have an Abundant Life. God wants to restore you to full fellowship with the Universe. It's Friday, but Sunday's promise of Easter is Coming.

Amen.

A dear friend Pastor Henry Green, of Heritage Baptist Church in Annapolis, MD, wrote this for Maundy Thursday: http://www.abpnews.com/opinion/commentaries/item/8342-overcoming-darkness

Many of my friends write and work at Traditionally Baptist Institutions. Feel free to visit www.bjcpa.org or www.christianethicstoday.org or www.aubreylaw.com that last one is not really a baptist institution, but I like it!

Or call me: 407-645-3297

Aubrey

Brain Gym - Excercise Your Mind

My mother works the Sudoku puzzel every day. Many people work on crossword puzzels, or brain teasers daily. These activities help keep the mind working and can (according to research) stall or prevent alzheimers, dementia and other brain lag that typically occurs with aging.

http://www.kenneymyers.com/blog/24-blogs-with-things-you-can-do-to-keep-your-brain-sharp-as-you-age/

Somebody asked that I put this link in my blog, and I trust you will enjoy the link.

Call me when you have legal questions at 407-645-3297, especially those questions related to Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, Guardianships and HAMP tier I and Tier II Mortgage Modifications.

Or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Collaborative Divorce Saves Money, Time and Stress

Almost every month the Collaborative Family Law Group of Central Florida http://www.cfl-cfl.com/ meets to discuss ways we can help our clients save money, save time and save stress when pursuing a divorce. Sometimes we meet together at the Mount Vernon Inn on 17-92.
http://bestwesternflorida.com/hotels/best-western-mount-vernon-inn/ 
Other times we meet in one of four practice groups at various offices in the area. Each time we meet, we learn new ways to discuss, facilitate, encourage, coach or counsel our clients.
The International Association of Collaborative Professionals http://collaborativepractice.com/ is an international community of legal, mental health and financial professionals working in concert to create client-centered processes for resolving conflict. Supporting Collaborative Practice as a conflict resolution option, its Mission is:

• establishing and upholding the essential elements, ethical and practice standards of Collaborative Practice;
• fostering professional excellence by educating and providing resources to Collaborative practitioners;
• leading and integrating the Collaborative community; and
• promoting the growth of Collaborative Practice.

Why would you want a Collaborative Professional? Because it saves you Time, Money, Resources, and most of all STRESS! In a Collaborative Divorce, YOU make the Decisions in concert with your spouse and several professionals selected to assist.

You get to select a single Financial Professional to assess your family's finances to maximize child support and alimony so that limited resources are stretched for the family's benefit.

You get to select a Mental Health Professional who coaches you in communication. Many graduates of a Collaborative Divorce find they are much better able to communicate than ever during their marriage.

You get to decide how and when you get divorced; there is no waiting on a response from the other side, the court, a deposition, etc.

You are not alone in these decisions! You have help from several professionals who work daily in these situations. Our collective experience and expertise HELP you Make Decisions!

Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com and ask how we can help you seek a Collaborative Divorce. Aubrey

Are You Poor?

According to the Federal Government, if you make less that $1,938.75 per month, you are.

The Department of Health and Human Services has announced the new poverty income guidelines for 2013. The new minimum monthly maintenance needs allowance (MMMNA) used to determine eligiblity for many government programs has ristn this year to $1,938.75 in the 48 contiguous states and the District of Columbia, effective no later than July 1, 2013. Last year, that amount was $1,891.25.

The new figure will be $2,422.50 in Alaska and $2,231.25 in Hawaii. The minimum MMMNA is 150 percent of the monthly poverty guideline for a couple.
For a full list of the 2013 poverty income guidelines, click here.

What does this mean? If you want Medicaid, Federal Grants for Education, etc. if your income is lower than the MMMNA, you should easily qualify!

Social Security Changes Coming

I received the following note from a friend who runs AGED, that is Advocates and Guardians for the Elderly and Diabled. They are a stellar organization and provide significant assistance to their clients.   Upcoming Social Security Changes There were many changes made to Social Security which could impact your benefits in 2013. Here are a few that we think are particularly relevant. To view the full list visit Social Security's Announcement on the 2013 changes. Cost of Living Increase Social Security approved a 1.7% cost-of-living (COLA) increase for those receiving monthly Social Security and/or Supplemental Security Income (SSI), beginning December 31, 2012.   For more information about the COLA increase, please visit Social Security's website.    Change in Social Security Credits   As you work and pay taxes, you earn "credits" towards retirement and other benefits. In 2013, the amount of money you have to make to earn one credit increased. Now, it will take $1,160 to earn one credit, an increase of $30 from the previous year. In general, a worker needs approximately 40 credits, or 10 years of work, to be eligible for benefits.   Increase in Retirement Earnings Test Exempt Amounts When individuals receive retirement benefits, but continue to work, there is a limit on what they can earn before they are required to give back some benefits. For 2013, for every $2 in earnings above the new limit of $15,120/year, or $1,260/month, one dollar of benefits will be withheld . It is important to note this only applies until the year the worker reaches full retirement age. For the months up to the month of the birthday, a different formula applies. In 2013, Social Security will hold back $1 in benefits for every $3 that a worker earns above $40,080.   For more information about the changes in the Retirement Earnings Test Exempt amounts, please visit Social Security's website.

For more information you may call me at 407-645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com To contact AGED, visit www.trustaged.org or call AGED at (407) 682-4111.