Thank you!

Such a Wonderful Phrase! I like being able to say Thank you!

Today, one of my dearest friends brought a gift by my office: A Painting in Watercolor of my Grandfather's Barn. In reality I did commission the work, but that should not take away from the Thanks I feel for such wonderful work presented to me.

The picture at right is a recent photo. In the next post, I'll include a shot of the painting.

Many times our memories deceive us. I looked at this photo of the old barn, and truly is looks like an Old Decrepit Barn! My memories don't recall it with so much rust and dust however. I remember putting hay into the loft from the age of 6! Then it was a Massive structure. I got to work with my grandfather's lifelong friends, Harry Clemons, Bob Lowery and others. They treated me like a fellow worker even though I probably got in the way more than they needed until I was 15 or 16. By then I was old enough and strong enough to drive the tractors and trucks around the farm and throw hay bails up onto the wagon.

Memories are funny, one persons delightful childhood event is another persons awful childhood memory. Too bad. If we all could remember only the best and forget the worst, Thank You might be heard more often.

How do We get Along for the Children?

Following is a message I received in my role as Guardian Ad Litem for two children. Their parents could not agree on a visitation schedule, arguing about whether weekly pickup and drop off were to be on Friday or Sunday. The Brother of one wrote:

"Lets just stop all the messages between the two of you and just
comply, nothing other than an "OK, see you at ..." This has to become
a non incident as this will always be happening, mix ups are normal in
family affairs and developing a cooperative manner of working
together, without the threat of court action by either party, is the
only suitable choice (In My Opinion)...its not easy, will take both to agree, but
at the first, it will take at least one party to choose to not
fight...be that party, comply no matter how onerous it might be, but
stop the fighting at all costs, determining fault and assigning blame
will only keep both of you stuck in the problem, so sidestep it by
agreeing immediately with no rancor ...that is the only way that
cooperation can sprout and become the way that this parenting can work
harmoniously between all parties...your brother "

I add this post because so many times people in the midst of conflict forget they once loved, and every issue becomes a power struggle. Obviously if the power struggle continues so that one party is constantly taking advantage of the other, an attorney can help present to the court the disparity in parenting. Court should be a LAST Option, not a first thought. Call me at 407-645-3297 for information on Child Custody (now called Time Sharing) or any other family law matter. Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information.

What do You do when You don't Know What to do?

When all around you are losing their heads over some perceived emergency without any plan of action, What do You Do? Do you stop and ask directions? Do you sit quietly and wait for the storm to pass, then clean up the mess and plan better to prevent future emergencies? Do you lead the charge, yelling do something to those around you who neither know what needs to be done nor how to go about doing it?
I am one who addresses those emergencies in life with a calm reflection. I have seen the damage done by a hasty response. I have witnessed the exponential increase in stress caused by the "Chicken Little" response of "the sky is falling".
Many years ago, I was the one to notice the sky falling and attempt to warn those around me. Working on the electrical plant of a Nuclear Submarine, I would many times see an emergency arrise on the meters and guages and it was my duty to not only note the changes, but to recommend actions to prevent damage to crucial equipment. Others might jump in before seeing All the indicators, trying to fix the first indications only to compound the real source of the problem. Many times, waiting for the opportune moment to suggest a better course of action means being heard rather than ignored.
In my practice, I see people in some of their worst situations, impending death, Family strife, marital strife, Divorce, etc. Many times alcoholism or drug addiction play a part in destroyed relationships. Other times, simple communication issues cause complete distrust or misunderstanding. An outsider who has witnessed the progression of strife, can see the direction, even if he or she cannot adequately communicate to the parties involved.
Life can be like that. Make a friendly suggestion before the friend recognizes the dire straits, and risk being ignored. Once the magnitude of problem is considered, a timely suggestion means all the difference in the world. Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com and let me help you recognize the symptoms and solutions to your problems.

Making Sound Decisions

Most people assume that given all relevant information, they will make sound decisions. Many people however, do not know when they have all the relevant information and may consider much irrelevant information in their decision making process.
When considering a contract, You Need An Attorney.
Contracts take many forms and all are considered by the courts to be a law between the parties. Whether the contract is for a Water Purification System in your home, a Home Security Monitoring Agreement, a Child Support or Alimony Agreement, an Insurance Settlement, a Probate Accounting, an agreement for piano lessons, a Timeshare Purchase, a Lease, or the purchase of an appliance with a warranty, You Need An Attorney. The company presenting the contract for your signature no doubt had an attorney look at the document to determine its legality and enforceability. You should also have an attorney review the contract. Most Insurance companies have staffs of attorneys to draft and review settlement agreements. The agreements are presented to the consumer by "Adjusters" who work for the insurance company. You the consumer need an attorney as well.

Making Sound Decisions

Most people assume that given all relevant information they can make the best decision. Knowing what information is relevant can be a tricky proposition. One of my colleagues runs a commercial in the Orlando area wherein she says, if an insurance company sends an adjuster to your home to settle a claim, YOU NEED A LAWYER. The Insurance Company employs Many attorneys, and investigators, (called adjusters) to value your claim. These employees of the insurance company owe loyalty to the company, not to you the consumer. YOU NEED A LAWYER!

When presented with a contract of any kind, whether it be to purchase and install a security system or water softener, to purchase piano lessons for your child, to purchase or lease a home, to settle a matter in court, to divide a business interest, You Need an Attorney!

Even people who have attorneys at their disposal, be they family members, close personal friends, or even retained attorneys, may be reluctant to call and ask the important questions, primarily, WHAT INFORMATION IS RELEVANT TO MAKING THIS DECISION?

Sometimes important information to one party in a transaction is not important at all to the other party. Many times, irrelevant information is presented as a reason for the decision to go a certain way. These negotiation tactics harm the consumer if the consumer is unaware. An Attorney, working for you, can help make the best decision by ensuring all RELEVANT information is considered, and all Irrelevant information is ignored.

If you owed money, you would pay it. If you are owed money, you should receive it. Sometimes the question of who owes money to whom can be more complex than one piece of paper would indicate.

What does the Law Require?

Many questions to attorneys ask, "What is required by Law" in a given situation. To begin to answer this question, contact an attorney, www.aubreylaw.com or www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw or www.FloridaGuardianAttorney.com
Sometimes the Law requires less than our own Morality might believe is due. Other times, the Law may require significantly More than we truly believe is due and oweing.

One example can be found in Credit Card Interest Rates. We borrow money and expect to pay interest until the debt is extinguished. What we do not expect is that our creditor, be it Visa, MasterCard, AmericanExpress or Discover, will work to collect every dollar possible under the contract.



We all know we will owe interest, perhaps even cash advance fees; however, what if the Credit Company lowers our "Available Credit" to a point below our current "Outstanding Credit"? Then Overlimit fees apply. If the Minimum Payment is not made we expect to pay a penalty; however, when the Lowered Available Credit causes an Overbalance condition with additional fees, and the Required Minimum Payment is increased by the Total Amount Over Limit, what was once a $150 or $250 payment is suddenly and UNEXPECTEDLY a Minimum Payment Due of $765 or worse. Additionally, the $39 overlimit fees along with the increased Interest Rate due to being Overlimit (usually a jump in interest of 10% to 25%) make the Credit Card Company a SIGNIFICANT REVENUE SOURCE. Why do you think the credit companies extend credit and solicit new credit even when people are making minimum payments?



All this as an example of What Does the Law Require. A new law gives consumers significantly more protection from the "legal" overreaching by credit companies. You can get more information at the following websites:

http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/obama-signs-credit-card-law-1282.php

http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/08/20/new-credit-card-laws/

http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/credit-card-act-takes-effect-1282.php



The 8 Major Benefits of the new Law can be found here: http://www.bankrate.com/finance/credit-cards/8-major-benefits-of-new-credit-card-law-1.aspx



The real key is to Know What the Law Requires, and don't allow Fear or Intimidation to force you to do what the Law does not or cannot require.

How to Be a Good Parent

In court today, Judge Munyon ( Ninth Circuit, Orange County, Domestic) noted that Good Parents are on time to pick up their children. This got me thinking, what other qualities do Good Parents Share?
1. GP's Cooperate for their children. They work together, recognizing that Children need Stability.
2. GP's NEVER Disparage the other Parent. Parents should Never disparage, or allow to be disparaged, the other parent, in the child's presence. Not speaking ill of the other parent is a good idea for avoiding divorce, as well as dealing in and after divorce. Speaking ill of another says more about the speaker than the target.
3. GP's Cooperate With Their Children. Work with your children to show them Why. Why do I have to clean my room? Because I want it clean. Because I said so. Because . . . how about because a clean room helps you get ready in the morning, helps you find your toys when you want to play, helps you be healthier (use a vacuum to show all the dirt and grime that stays on the floor of even a clean room - how much more filth in a messy room). Answering the Why's in life helps children understand the world around them much more than "Just do as you're told" ever helps them get along in life.
4. GP's give their children time, in quality. I hear people say, "its quality not quantity that counts" but I disagree. A Quantity of Quality time makes good parents out of children.
5. GP's provide for their children. Not because a court order says to provide child support, but because good parents provide for their children. So many college graduates tell of parents working two jobs to send them to school. That Schooling and example lead to a life of Working to better deserve the Good Parents.
6. GP's Always let their children know they are Wanted and Loved. Even when the children are bad, don't eat their veggies, don't share their toys, etc. Good Parents know the difference between Loving Children and approving actions. GP's do this by example. GP's treat others the same way they teach their children to treat others. Teaching by Example that Lying is bad, Sharing is Good, Work is Good, Language is important, Doing what you say is more important that saying too much.

More on Support - this time for the ladies

Here are 7 things every girl should know before having sex, or the resulting kids.
1. Your First Responsibility is to Your Child. No matter how sweet, supportive, loving, cute, etc. the boy is, he will NEVER carry the child 9 months awaiting its arrival.
2. NO form of birth control is 100% effective. The "Virgin Mary" practiced Abstinance and we see how that turned out. (insert laughter here)
3. You are legally responsible for the child, even if you didn't want to have a baby. It doesn't matter that you used birth control, or that you wanted to give the child up for adoption.
4. Child Support includes more than money. It includes emotional support, love, food, shelter, clothing, education, TIME, attention . . . even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired, sick, busy . . .
5. A child ties you to the father for life. Not only the 18 years to raise the child, but weddings, funerals, etc. for life.
6. The Father is responsible for child support once the child is born, not matter what your agreements. He is responsible to assist you with medical care before the child is born as well.
7. The Florida Department of Revenue's Child Support Enforcement Program can help. They can: locate noncustodial parents; determine paternity; obtain orders for support through the court system; enforce, collect and distribute support payments to the custodial parent.

An attorney may also assist in these areas. Call me or visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ if you have any questions.

Raising a child is difficult under the best circumstances. Do not make it even harder by ignoring real issues or avoiding conflict in an attempt to make someone else happy. Your First Responsibility is to your Child.

Child Support

Here are 7 things your "Son" should know before having sex, or the resulting children.
1. You are legally responsible for the child you father, even if you didn't want to have a baby. It doesn't matter that you used birth control, or that you wanted to give the child up for adoption.
2. Child Support includes more than money. It includes emotional support, love, food, shelter, clothing, education, TIME, attention . . . even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired, sick, busy . . .
3. You will have to pay Child Support in the form of money until the child reaches 18. Even if you are out of work, in jail, or can't afford your own rent and living expenses.
4. You must pay Child Support even if the mother recieves welfare and food stamps. EVEN IF SHE MARRIES SOMEONE ELSE, who has a good job, who gets called Daddy . . .
5. You cannot avoid Child Support by leaving the state; and certainly not by marrying someone else. Not even by having more children.
6. If you do not pay child support, your credit may be damaged. Your bank account may be seized. Your paycheck may be garnished. You may not get a tax refund you earned. Worse, YOU may be thrown IN JAIL.
7. Only You control when, where and with whom you have sex. It is beyond your control whether the sex you have results in a child. Never tell children you did not want/plan/love them. Being a father begins with wanting, planning and loving the child.
For more information, visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ or www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw

Step One - Establish Paternity

Why? Your child DESERVES the support of BOTH parents. It takes two to conceive the child, and psychological studies cited in most states show two parents are better than one.
You may ask, "How can I establish paternity?"
For children born to a married couple, paternity is PRESUMED to be the Husband.
In Unmarried couples, the Father can Voluntarily establish paternity by allowing or acknowledging the child through the Birth Certificate. HOWEVER, just because your name is listed on the Birth Certificate, doesn't make Paternity certain. If both the Unmarried Mother and Unmarried Father sign a Paternity Acknowledgement Form (available at most Hospitals, Birthing Centers, all Public Health Units, all Department of Children and Families offices, and the Office fo Vital Statistics) the matter can be established thereafter.
A simple blood test may lend insight to paternity, but this is NOT conclusive. When more certainty is required, a genetic test can determine to a very high degree of certainty, who is the father, or not. The Florida Department of Revenue can provide testing information, as can this office.
Again, WHY? In the long term, to secure an inheritance. Also, to show the true Father's name on the Birth Certificate, to allow the child to be connected fully to both parents and their families. For Legal Proof of the childs identity, for Support, both Financial and Medical, Paternity is crucial for Social Security, Veterans and Disability Benefits.

Dementia? Alzheimer's Disease? Memory Problems?

Many people ask, "how do I know what is normal aging and what is Alzheimer's Disease (AD) or Dementia?
First, the term Dementia describes a whole group of memory problesm caused by changes in the Human Brain's overall function. Some of the symptoms may be:
1. Asking the same questions repeatedly
2. Getting lost in very familiar surroundings and places
3. Neglecting personal safety and security measures
4. Being disoriented about time, place or people
5. Neglecting personal hygiene and nutrition
6. Being unable to follow simple directions
When these symptoms are noted together, frequently the cause is Dementia.
Dementia itself may be caused by any number of other neurological basis, including Alzheimer's Disease or stroke, but also possibly cause by treatable conditions such as High Fever, Dehydration, reactions to food or medicines, vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems or a minor head injury.
The real question for caregiver is, "do these symptoms impact daily life?" Many times they indicate a need for an Assisted Living environment or Adult Congregate Living Facility. Other times families may be able to provide all necessary care. In either instance, an attorney can be quite helpful in making arrangements and transitions. Call me if you have further questions. Aubrey Ducker (407) 645-3297

Ring That Bell

There are many ways to ring a bell. The large Wheel in the background is attached to a one-inch rope passing from the steeple of the First Baptist Church in America to the Music Director's office. Pulling the rope rotates the bell to strike the large "ball clapper." In this manner the bell rotates and the clapper is relatively stationary. The use of a one inch rope, indicates the weight of the bell and the potential momentum imparted to the person pulling on the rope.

The steeple also has a clock. The clock has a mechanism to ring the bell on the hour and 1/2 hour by use of the "hammer or "alternate clapper." The clock mechanism can't produce the force necessary to move the entire bell, thus the use of a much lighter hammer.

The hammer also attaches to a much smaller rope passing from the steeple to the interior of the church. Pulling the much smaller rope rings the bell, but the bell remains relatively stationary.

All this to say there are many ways to ring a bell.

There are also many ways to pursue your legal rememdy. Choosing an attorney who understands the differences between Litigation and Mediation, between Fighting it Out and Working it Out, can mean the difference between years of litigation and moving on with your life.