October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I received this today via Email.   Good afternoon, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time for each of us to reflect on the devastating impact that domestic violence has on our society. You can scarcely get through a day without hearing a news report about a violent incident in the community. The national conversation often revolves around high-profile instances of abuse, illustrating that money and success are not safeguards. We at the Clerk’s Office deal with those in fear every day as they come to us seeking a judge’s order of protection against someone they believe wants to hurt them. I am proud to say that our recent partnership with Harbor House of Central Florida has already resulted in getting quick help to more than 25 people who may otherwise have had to wait up to 72 hours for their cases to be heard. If you are dealing with assault or stalking, three days is a long time – maybe too long. In April, I began deputizing more than two dozen Harbor House employees. Taking the oath of office has allowed them to continue processing domestic-violence injunction petitions during the hours that the Clerk’s Office is closed. That means no one has to wait overnight or through a holiday or weekend for a Clerk’s Office employee to take their paperwork. “Having this opportunity to swear in our employees to save lives is our primary goal, since being able to process a domestic violence injunction when the Clerk’s Office is closed is crucial for a victim in a domestic-abuse situation,’’ said Carol Wick, president & CEO of Harbor House of Central Florida. “It also enables us to uphold no-contact orders at any Harbor House location, which eliminates one more barrier to protecting survivors and holding abusers accountable.’’ Through September, more than 4,800 people had visited the Orange County Clerk’s Office this year seeking court-ordered protection. If that pace continues, the year-end number will be higher than that of 2013. The paperwork is several pages long and is available at the Clerk’s Office and its branches. It is also available online at myorangeclerk.com, which allows the petitioner to fill out the forms privately and thoroughly, away from crowds and bystanders at the courthouse. I also recently made Affidavit of Violation paperwork available online. This is the form a survivor fills out if their attacker has violated an injunction order. To reach Harbor House of Central Florida after hours, please call 1-800-500-1119. Regards,

Eduardo “Eddie” Fernández Orange County Clerk of Courts

Parental Alienation Syndrome -Seminar Sunday- Real Enough for Canada

Every week or so I get an email from the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, PAAO, with resources for families experiencing Alienation by one parent. Sometimes the information includes very helpful links to outlines ( http://www.paawareness.org/video/BrianLudmer-Short%20.pdf, )seminars (https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/484691638) , etc.

Sunday August 25, PAAO is hosting an online webinar regarding Parental Alienation entitled: Organize Your Own Court Case.
The Seminar link is https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/484691638.

I recommend NOT attempting your own litigation in a complex divorce case involving Parental Alienation. The risks are just too high.
Child Custody, or Timesharing as we refer to it in Florida is a critical component of your child's development.
Timesharing also impacts Child Support. It never fails in a Modification Case seeking additional timesharing that the party against whom the pleadings are filed believes the
Many people don't consider the implications on Child Support when they work out their Parenting Plan.
If you have Questions, Call Me! 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Football Season Starts Tonight

The Winter Park Wildcats take on East Ridge at Showalter Field at 7 p.m. The game was moved up due to Hurricane Irene. Families working together for years get to see the first efforts of their children on the field as they Cheer for the Team or Play on the Field.

Unfortunately, there will be some children whose parents cannot put aside their differences and attend the event without causing great stress to everyone else involved. You know the type, all they do is talk about how bad the other parent is. Why do people think that the world wants to know the "hell" they endured being married? Please do your child a favor. Do not disparage your former spouse in any way that the child can know. If you take the high road, perhaps the other party will abandon the low road as well.

I personally know parents who will attend tonight's game and sit in the stands very close to their former spouse without any hint of conflict. I know parents who will work together in the concession stand or on the field to support the team even though they could not stay together in their marriage. I applaud these efforts.

Many other people will be watching the game while thinking of their own parents, relatives or friends who are diabled by age, dementia, alzheimers, or other problems. These parents may not know there is help available. Please reach out and ask questions. There are resources available and people who know how to access those resources for your benefit.

If I can help, please call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

The Church of Facebook - Review

Look for my review of The Church of Facebook in the Spring 2011 issue of Christian Ethics Today. You can also subscribe to Christian Ethics Today by going to this website: http://www.christianethicstoday.com/

Recently a client came to my office after having litigated for more than a year trying to secure custody of his children. While he was represented by a well-known attorney in the Orlando area, he was disappointed that his case had not been resolved in such a long time. I had to tell him two things:
1. Selection of an attorney is the most important part of any family law case. There are many attorneys with various personalities and work ethics. Certainly price is one consideration, but it should not be the only consideration.
2. Sometimes status quo is the best you can do; pushing for a final resolution may be detrimental to your case. Unfortunately, giving the other side time to screw up may be the best you can do.

When you go to select an attorney, interview several. If necessary, pay a consultation fee so that you get a clear picture of the attorney's philosophy of practice. Then you can know you are hiring an attorney who will look out for your best interests and take on your priorities.

International Travel with Children

Who wants to go to France? How about South Africa? Dubai? The Bahamas? Are you Divorced? Sharing time with your child?

Consider: A client living in Orlando, wants to take her three young children to the Bahama's for the weekend. Its her visitation weekend, does she have to tell their Father? Does she have to get consent or permission? Can he say NO!

International travel with children can be a Problem if both Parents do not consent or approve the travel.

Really, how many parents would abduct their children and take them to a foreign country? Even one is too many.

The Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program, CPIAP, is very helpful.

As the New York Times reported, many countries require notarized written permission of the other parent when traveling alone with a child.

The Department of State, http://travel.state.gov/ has great information for keeping your child safe.

www.myfamilytravels.com is also a great site for information helpful to traveling families.

Why would You even Talk to a Divorce Lawyer?

They will just break up your marriage! NOT TRUE!
Just having Knowledge of the Law can be key to success in many endeavors, even a successful marriage. Remember - Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse!

There are many issues under the "Family Law" umbrella. Adoption, Divorce, Child Support, Custody - or as we now say in Florida, Time Share - Domestic Violence, Post Disolution Motions, and Prenuptial Agreements are all areas Attorneys work and are vitally needed.

Adoption has many differing aspects that only an attorney can sort out to make the best for your family situation. Is Open Adoption an option? Should you consider a Foreign Adoption? How do you domesticate your Foreign Adoption? Should you be a Foster Parent before even considering adoption? An attorney can help you analyze these critical questions to best suit your family situation.

Prenuptial Agreements may sound like movie star problems; however, seniors, second marriages, widows, widowers, and the like are most likely to need these contracts. Only a well trained attorney can properly guide you through the problems and potential defects in such complex documents.

Divorce - some people are immediately turned off by the word; but in our society, everybody knows someone who needs to talk to a divorce lawyer. Working things out in the court may be more important for the children's wellbeing than staying together for the sake of the children. Children do not thrive in conflict. They sense conflict without being told all the particulars. They want Mommy and Daddy to be happy, but don't know how to make Happy work. Thus children will internalize the conflict and become bullies at school, or withdrawn from friends, or neglect schoolwork, or work extra hard at school, pressuring themselves to make their parents HAPPY. Children should not be made the source of their parents conflict or happiness. That is Stress!!!

Why talk to a Divorce Lawyer? For the sake of the Children! Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or

Call me today, 407-645-3297, even if just to say, "Hey, I saw your blog!"

How do We get Along for the Children?

Following is a message I received in my role as Guardian Ad Litem for two children. Their parents could not agree on a visitation schedule, arguing about whether weekly pickup and drop off were to be on Friday or Sunday. The Brother of one wrote:

"Lets just stop all the messages between the two of you and just
comply, nothing other than an "OK, see you at ..." This has to become
a non incident as this will always be happening, mix ups are normal in
family affairs and developing a cooperative manner of working
together, without the threat of court action by either party, is the
only suitable choice (In My Opinion)...its not easy, will take both to agree, but
at the first, it will take at least one party to choose to not
fight...be that party, comply no matter how onerous it might be, but
stop the fighting at all costs, determining fault and assigning blame
will only keep both of you stuck in the problem, so sidestep it by
agreeing immediately with no rancor ...that is the only way that
cooperation can sprout and become the way that this parenting can work
harmoniously between all parties...your brother "

I add this post because so many times people in the midst of conflict forget they once loved, and every issue becomes a power struggle. Obviously if the power struggle continues so that one party is constantly taking advantage of the other, an attorney can help present to the court the disparity in parenting. Court should be a LAST Option, not a first thought. Call me at 407-645-3297 for information on Child Custody (now called Time Sharing) or any other family law matter. Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information.

More on Support - this time for the ladies

Here are 7 things every girl should know before having sex, or the resulting kids.
1. Your First Responsibility is to Your Child. No matter how sweet, supportive, loving, cute, etc. the boy is, he will NEVER carry the child 9 months awaiting its arrival.
2. NO form of birth control is 100% effective. The "Virgin Mary" practiced Abstinance and we see how that turned out. (insert laughter here)
3. You are legally responsible for the child, even if you didn't want to have a baby. It doesn't matter that you used birth control, or that you wanted to give the child up for adoption.
4. Child Support includes more than money. It includes emotional support, love, food, shelter, clothing, education, TIME, attention . . . even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired, sick, busy . . .
5. A child ties you to the father for life. Not only the 18 years to raise the child, but weddings, funerals, etc. for life.
6. The Father is responsible for child support once the child is born, not matter what your agreements. He is responsible to assist you with medical care before the child is born as well.
7. The Florida Department of Revenue's Child Support Enforcement Program can help. They can: locate noncustodial parents; determine paternity; obtain orders for support through the court system; enforce, collect and distribute support payments to the custodial parent.

An attorney may also assist in these areas. Call me or visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ if you have any questions.

Raising a child is difficult under the best circumstances. Do not make it even harder by ignoring real issues or avoiding conflict in an attempt to make someone else happy. Your First Responsibility is to your Child.

Child Support

Here are 7 things your "Son" should know before having sex, or the resulting children.
1. You are legally responsible for the child you father, even if you didn't want to have a baby. It doesn't matter that you used birth control, or that you wanted to give the child up for adoption.
2. Child Support includes more than money. It includes emotional support, love, food, shelter, clothing, education, TIME, attention . . . even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired, sick, busy . . .
3. You will have to pay Child Support in the form of money until the child reaches 18. Even if you are out of work, in jail, or can't afford your own rent and living expenses.
4. You must pay Child Support even if the mother recieves welfare and food stamps. EVEN IF SHE MARRIES SOMEONE ELSE, who has a good job, who gets called Daddy . . .
5. You cannot avoid Child Support by leaving the state; and certainly not by marrying someone else. Not even by having more children.
6. If you do not pay child support, your credit may be damaged. Your bank account may be seized. Your paycheck may be garnished. You may not get a tax refund you earned. Worse, YOU may be thrown IN JAIL.
7. Only You control when, where and with whom you have sex. It is beyond your control whether the sex you have results in a child. Never tell children you did not want/plan/love them. Being a father begins with wanting, planning and loving the child.
For more information, visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ or www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw

Step One - Establish Paternity

Why? Your child DESERVES the support of BOTH parents. It takes two to conceive the child, and psychological studies cited in most states show two parents are better than one.
You may ask, "How can I establish paternity?"
For children born to a married couple, paternity is PRESUMED to be the Husband.
In Unmarried couples, the Father can Voluntarily establish paternity by allowing or acknowledging the child through the Birth Certificate. HOWEVER, just because your name is listed on the Birth Certificate, doesn't make Paternity certain. If both the Unmarried Mother and Unmarried Father sign a Paternity Acknowledgement Form (available at most Hospitals, Birthing Centers, all Public Health Units, all Department of Children and Families offices, and the Office fo Vital Statistics) the matter can be established thereafter.
A simple blood test may lend insight to paternity, but this is NOT conclusive. When more certainty is required, a genetic test can determine to a very high degree of certainty, who is the father, or not. The Florida Department of Revenue can provide testing information, as can this office.
Again, WHY? In the long term, to secure an inheritance. Also, to show the true Father's name on the Birth Certificate, to allow the child to be connected fully to both parents and their families. For Legal Proof of the childs identity, for Support, both Financial and Medical, Paternity is crucial for Social Security, Veterans and Disability Benefits.

Ring That Bell

There are many ways to ring a bell. The large Wheel in the background is attached to a one-inch rope passing from the steeple of the First Baptist Church in America to the Music Director's office. Pulling the rope rotates the bell to strike the large "ball clapper." In this manner the bell rotates and the clapper is relatively stationary. The use of a one inch rope, indicates the weight of the bell and the potential momentum imparted to the person pulling on the rope.

The steeple also has a clock. The clock has a mechanism to ring the bell on the hour and 1/2 hour by use of the "hammer or "alternate clapper." The clock mechanism can't produce the force necessary to move the entire bell, thus the use of a much lighter hammer.

The hammer also attaches to a much smaller rope passing from the steeple to the interior of the church. Pulling the much smaller rope rings the bell, but the bell remains relatively stationary.

All this to say there are many ways to ring a bell.

There are also many ways to pursue your legal rememdy. Choosing an attorney who understands the differences between Litigation and Mediation, between Fighting it Out and Working it Out, can mean the difference between years of litigation and moving on with your life.

Friends

Friends are the Family we Choose for ourselves. I hope you have lots of friends. I hope they are the best kind of friends. Friends listen. Friends hear. Friends see. Friends speak. Friends touch. Not just our lives but our very souls.

One of my clients, who is also a friend loaned me this:

If we are dancing, and stepping on each other's toes, we work to not do that anymore, rather than seek out another partner.

I kind of like my version better:

When we dance, if I step on your toes, please don't stop dancing. Just let me know so I can try to dance better. But if you stop dancing with me, the dance may be lost forever.

Great Resources for Family Law Issues

You can always visit my site at http://www.aubreylaw.com/

If you choose, you can visit the site http://lawyers.com/duckerlaw/

If you visited the Lawyers.com site, you might find an update on current family law issues at:

http://lawyers.com/duckerlaw/FamilyLawNewsletter.jsp

Sometimes a little information can help you to ask the right questions.

What do you want to learn?


The Family Law Newsletter is created and maintained by Lexis/Nexis, one of the leaders in Legal Research Sources. Below are some current excerpts:

Juvenile Litigation with Respect to Institutional Confinement Facilities

There are many juveniles that are confined to public and private institutions. Many of the institutions have deplorable conditions. Juveniles are often held in dingy cells or small, dark rooms and are confined for hours, days, or weeks. Often times juveniles are deprived of exercise, recreational activities and schooling. Sometimes juveniles are even supervised by untrained or inadequate staff as well.More...

Child Custody and Religion

Religion is usually not an issue in child custody proceedings, even if the parents practice different religions. For example, if a child has a Christian mother and a Jewish father, a court will not consider the merits of either religion in determining which parent should have custody of the child. The court will grant custody to one parent, or joint custody to both parents, and the child will be exposed to both the mother's religion and the father's religion.More...

Postmarital Agreements

A postmarital agreement, or postnuptial agreement, is an agreement executed by a husband and wife after they are married. More...

Enforcement of Child Support

When a court enters an order of child support, it orders one party to pay a certain sum of money to another for the support of a child. The person who is ordered to pay is called the obligor. The person who received the payment is the obligee. The amount of child support that is payable is usually based on state law that takes into consideration the number of children for which an obligor is responsible and the amount of income the obligor earns from all sources. More...

Adoption and Safe Families Act - Overview

In 1997, the United States Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA). The ASFA was enacted to modify and clarify certain requirements of the Adoption Assistance and Child Welfare Act, a federal law enacted in 1980, and the Family Preservation and Support Services Act, a federal law enacted in 1984. More...

Custody, timesharing, parenting plans

The Language of Divorce has been changed. No more are there Custodial or Primary Custodial Parents. Now each parent has a timeshareing arrangement intended to provide the maximum contact with the child and lesson hostility and conflict over who has "Custody" or who "makes the Decisions."

In reality, the Florida Legislature in attempting to lower conflict in divorce cases may have inadvertently muddied the waters for a little while. Reality suggests that parenting plans need to be precise to allow the police officer called to the scene to interpret with whom the child should leave the ball field.

All too often, conflict arrises when Dad took little Johnny to the soccer game and Mom arrived to watch. Since it is "Dad's visitation" he wants to take Johnny home to drop him off at Mom's house. Mom naturaly wants to take Johnny home to prevent Dad coming to her house, again, and snooping around who else might be there, or just hanging around hoping to "talk." This scenario plays out in many ways, but the bottom line is:

Precise Parenting Plans Prevent Parental Problems.

Visit me at www.aubreylaw.com for help with your Parenting Plan Problems.