The Collaborative Family Law Conference is meeting at the Wyndham Grand Hotel at the Bonnet Creek Resort this weekend. BOY do I FEEL LUCKY!!!
Working with Collaborative leaders from all over the state to perfect our practice is a great way to finish out my 3 year term for Continuing Legal Education. Some people would say, wait, why didn't you already finish that? Well, I did, but this is a bonus!
When 400 professionals get together in a legal seminar, it can be a great experience, and it can be a bit of a tooth pulling session.
As the Keynote speaker noted, "How often do you get a chance to be in a group making changes in the world."
Every family needs to know what Collaborative Law can do for their relationships and getting past divorce to a new life.
In Florida there are 10 different Practice Groups. All are part of the Collaborative Law Council of Florida.
I am member of Collaborative Family Law of Central Florida. www.cfl-cfl.com
Being "intentional" in the way a family goes about breaking apart can save children from the dramatic impact of divorce. Most parents say they just want to take care of the kids, but how they do that is a litigated case is beyond me. Most parents think fighting for the most time possible or the most child support possible is what they see as "taking care of the children."
In a Collaborative Divorce, we seek to assist the parents in communicating effectively so they can AGREE on various Goals and then agree to processes to achieve those shared goals.
Shared goals may be for the children to be able to attend college without racking up significant student loan debt.
Awareness of Collaborative Practice
Awareness of the Collaborative Attorney
Relationship Respect - how your name comes up
Reputation - not just what you do, but how you do it.
Visibility - You must be able to BE Found by clients.
Define your brand - Non Adversarial
Live your brand - Non Adversarial
Communicate your brand - Non Adversarial
What is my Brand? WT's Farm - The Ducker Brand
My Grandfather Ducker was well known on Signal Mountain as the most Honest man around. If you asked him a question, no matter how difficult the answer, he would answer honestly, sometimes to his own harm. He grew up in poverty and worked his entire life to give his children the best he could. He was a wonderful example of living up to your word in my life.
My other Grandfather, WT, was the hardest working man I know. He worked from absolute poverty to being one of the leading Polled Hereford farmers in Southeast Tennessee. At a time when artisan was not associated with food, he was a farmer who worked tirelessly for the very best beef, Polled Hereford, being fed the very best grain. All from WT's Farm. His Brand was recognizable on the Mountain and in the County and in the State and across the Southeast.
Who YOU SAY your are must align with who OTHERS SAY you are and most importantly for your own mental health, must be WHO YOU ARE. When I say, "I want to help you move from here to there with the least conflict possible to keep your children from being negatively impacted by your decisions." I am saying that after 15 years of experience watching families break apart and seeing them invest large sums of money to 'get what's right', there is a better way.
Collaborative Divorce is a better way.
I am a calming counsel seeking best outcomes for my clients and their families.
My Brand is a reason to choose. My Brand differentiates me from the other lawyers, attorneys, mediators, counselors, sharks and fish in the sea?
Not just a logo or a tagline.
If you truly want to protect your family from the necessary conflict of a separation, seek out a Collaborative Professional to assist you and your spouse in making the best decisions for the sake of your family.
A Divorce may involve Alimony, Child Support, Timesharing or Property Division. But those are merely the words that are used to describe the outcome. Some divorces involve significant assets, allegations of hiding assets, worries about disclosure of information or finding where all the money was hidden.
Some attorneys will do exactly what their clients want. I am not one of those attorneys. I will work hard to help your family get over this bump in the road and move on with your new life. Call me to find out how Collaborative Law can help your family.
Aubrey
Showing posts with label high assets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high assets. Show all posts
Friday, May 15, 2015
Friday, August 8, 2014
The Birds and Bees of Marriage and Divorce
You know Bees only attend one Queen. They are from birth set out to serve their Queen and only when a new queen is birthed in the hive does the hive divorce into "old Queen," in the current hive, and "New Queen" hives destined to seek out a hive with her new workers and drones. There is no "hive intermingling" so to speak.
Likewise, birds can be fairly monogamous, although some are quite prone to wanderlust. Certain birds are quite adept at philandering between as many partners as possible. Take Hummingbirds for instance, "Speedy hummingbirds, eating on the run and flitting from mate to mate, are prone to heart attacks," says Noah Strycker in his new book The Thing With Feathers, reviewed in a New York Times Article yesterday. Also in the review is Bernd Heinrich's The Homing Instinct. What do these books tell us about Marriage and Divorce? http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/10/books/review/the-thing-with-feathers-and-the-homing-instinct.html?_r=0
Homing instincts are critical to birds navigation around the globe. Most interesting is the description of the Albatross which spends most of its life soaring over the vast open oceans, but is fairly monogamous throughout life. The Albatross uses a dance ritual, learned from years of "courting" that is "as unique as human fingerprints" to each Albatross couple.
Sunday's magazine of the NYT included a wonderful article detailing Human interaction in relationship and the correlations of education to stability. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/opinion/sunday/the-new-instability.html
Comparison over many years would lead most to believe that since the Equal Rights Revolution in the 60's and 70's divorce has actually become less common among more highly educated men and women. Obviously, changing societal norms have a great impact, as do attitudes. Just watch an episode of Mad Men to see how far we have come.
If partners to a marriage spent comparative times apart as Albatross couples, and focused their times together on dancing in sync, perhaps divorce would not be common. But human relationships are much trickier than Albatross' interactions.
Couples undergoing Collaborative Divorce, or Conscious Uncoupling as it is beginning to be known, report significantly improved communications. Probably communications improvements result from the use of a Neutral Facilitator who is trained in interpersonal communication. Perhaps just seeing a clear path to the finalization of the divorce helps. In any case, using a logical, step by step approach to divorce creates numerous benefits over Litigation.
Collaboration also produces much more fair results than are sometimes obtained through Mediation alone. In Mediation, the parties may not be represented by attorneys and therefore may not have legal advice as to the fairness of anticipated settlements.
In Collaborative Divorce, each side has an attorney to advice, coach and assist toward a fair result. Each side participates in setting the goals for the Collaborative Team. The Collaborative Team eliminates much of the fighting. When questions arise over who makes how much, what value to place on businesses, and how to divide Real Property, what personal property will be included and who will get what, the Collaborative Team works to balance all considerations to achieve the Team Goals set by the Parties themselves.
(here is an interesting article about some of the potential problems with dividing real estate: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/03/realestate/divorcing-co-op-owners-rooftop-barbecues-and-costly-assessments.html )
As assets increase, so does the news value of divorce. http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/07/24/kenneth-griffin-files-for-divorce-from-anne-dias-griffin/
Especially when the divorce involves significantly high assets such as the Griffin matter. When privacy is a concern, Collaborative Divorce is key. Agreements to keep the matter private are much more effective when all parties are sitting around a table and commit to common goals by signing their agreements not to resort to litigation. Agreeing to agree is possible.
Likewise, birds can be fairly monogamous, although some are quite prone to wanderlust. Certain birds are quite adept at philandering between as many partners as possible. Take Hummingbirds for instance, "Speedy hummingbirds, eating on the run and flitting from mate to mate, are prone to heart attacks," says Noah Strycker in his new book The Thing With Feathers, reviewed in a New York Times Article yesterday. Also in the review is Bernd Heinrich's The Homing Instinct. What do these books tell us about Marriage and Divorce? http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/10/books/review/the-thing-with-feathers-and-the-homing-instinct.html?_r=0
Homing instincts are critical to birds navigation around the globe. Most interesting is the description of the Albatross which spends most of its life soaring over the vast open oceans, but is fairly monogamous throughout life. The Albatross uses a dance ritual, learned from years of "courting" that is "as unique as human fingerprints" to each Albatross couple.
Sunday's magazine of the NYT included a wonderful article detailing Human interaction in relationship and the correlations of education to stability. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/opinion/sunday/the-new-instability.html
Comparison over many years would lead most to believe that since the Equal Rights Revolution in the 60's and 70's divorce has actually become less common among more highly educated men and women. Obviously, changing societal norms have a great impact, as do attitudes. Just watch an episode of Mad Men to see how far we have come.
If partners to a marriage spent comparative times apart as Albatross couples, and focused their times together on dancing in sync, perhaps divorce would not be common. But human relationships are much trickier than Albatross' interactions.
Couples undergoing Collaborative Divorce, or Conscious Uncoupling as it is beginning to be known, report significantly improved communications. Probably communications improvements result from the use of a Neutral Facilitator who is trained in interpersonal communication. Perhaps just seeing a clear path to the finalization of the divorce helps. In any case, using a logical, step by step approach to divorce creates numerous benefits over Litigation.
Collaboration also produces much more fair results than are sometimes obtained through Mediation alone. In Mediation, the parties may not be represented by attorneys and therefore may not have legal advice as to the fairness of anticipated settlements.
In Collaborative Divorce, each side has an attorney to advice, coach and assist toward a fair result. Each side participates in setting the goals for the Collaborative Team. The Collaborative Team eliminates much of the fighting. When questions arise over who makes how much, what value to place on businesses, and how to divide Real Property, what personal property will be included and who will get what, the Collaborative Team works to balance all considerations to achieve the Team Goals set by the Parties themselves.
(here is an interesting article about some of the potential problems with dividing real estate: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/03/realestate/divorcing-co-op-owners-rooftop-barbecues-and-costly-assessments.html )
As assets increase, so does the news value of divorce. http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/07/24/kenneth-griffin-files-for-divorce-from-anne-dias-griffin/
Especially when the divorce involves significantly high assets such as the Griffin matter. When privacy is a concern, Collaborative Divorce is key. Agreements to keep the matter private are much more effective when all parties are sitting around a table and commit to common goals by signing their agreements not to resort to litigation. Agreeing to agree is possible.
Monday, January 6, 2014
This came in my email today:
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Thursday, June 6, 2013
Looking for a Lawyer - some pitfalls to avoid
If you need to hire a lawyer, look for someone with legal experience, reasonable personality and responsiveness to your needs.
The law is a popular second career. Don't assume that every middle aged lawyer has been a lawyer for decades. I have more than 14 years of experience as a lawyer, and have several more years reviewing contracts, researching legal issues and working with attorneys, in a variety of practice areas. This gives me the background and perspective to assess your legal needs. Many times, an experienced lawyer can provide a quick and simple solution or strategy, when a new attorney, though less expensive on an hourly basis, may spend several hours finding an answer.
I believe that it's also important that a lawyer understands what the client is going through. There are many good attorneys who have never been a party to litigation of any type. While that's fortunate for them, I don't believe that they appreciate their clients' needs as well as those of us who have - unfortunately -had the need to hire an attorney. Being a client gives attorneys new insight, and greater appreciation, for the stress and fear that a lawsuit or legal problem creates.
One attorney advertises on television, "I'm not here to be your friend, When you want aggressive legal representation, call the _________ Law Firm." I am glad that many of my clients call me "friend" long after the litigation is done. I am blessed by clients who refer their family and friends to my office and continue to consider me their attorney long after the final judgment is entered. Some of my colleagues are not so inclined.
Attorney Sarah C H Phillips says: "Aggressive behaviors run up legal fees, destroy any real chance of cooperation between parents, and leave children as the victims of litigation . . . Unfortunately I do still encounter lawyers who seem to believe that aggressive behaviours are what is expected of them. It's never helpful to have your client crying on the phone because of the latest obnoxious letter from the other side that does nothing to progress the case and everything to alienate the parties from each other further."
A great article on Aggressive Lawyers can be found here: http://benchandbarllc.com/aggressivelawyer/?goback=%2Egde_96041_member_244083492
I like the line: Good Lawyers Don't just "Try" cases; Good Lawyers Try to "Resolve" cases.
Most important in Resolving Cases is responding in communication. When a client calls, or when an attorney calls, an answer should be forthcoming. I like to answer my own phone. I do not screen calls. My staff answers if I am in conference or on the other line, but never because "so and so" is calling!
When you need to talk, call me at 407-645-3297. You can also send an email to aubrey@aubreylaw.com or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to hearing from you! Aubrey
The law is a popular second career. Don't assume that every middle aged lawyer has been a lawyer for decades. I have more than 14 years of experience as a lawyer, and have several more years reviewing contracts, researching legal issues and working with attorneys, in a variety of practice areas. This gives me the background and perspective to assess your legal needs. Many times, an experienced lawyer can provide a quick and simple solution or strategy, when a new attorney, though less expensive on an hourly basis, may spend several hours finding an answer.
I believe that it's also important that a lawyer understands what the client is going through. There are many good attorneys who have never been a party to litigation of any type. While that's fortunate for them, I don't believe that they appreciate their clients' needs as well as those of us who have - unfortunately -had the need to hire an attorney. Being a client gives attorneys new insight, and greater appreciation, for the stress and fear that a lawsuit or legal problem creates.
One attorney advertises on television, "I'm not here to be your friend, When you want aggressive legal representation, call the _________ Law Firm." I am glad that many of my clients call me "friend" long after the litigation is done. I am blessed by clients who refer their family and friends to my office and continue to consider me their attorney long after the final judgment is entered. Some of my colleagues are not so inclined.
Attorney Sarah C H Phillips says: "Aggressive behaviors run up legal fees, destroy any real chance of cooperation between parents, and leave children as the victims of litigation . . . Unfortunately I do still encounter lawyers who seem to believe that aggressive behaviours are what is expected of them. It's never helpful to have your client crying on the phone because of the latest obnoxious letter from the other side that does nothing to progress the case and everything to alienate the parties from each other further."
A great article on Aggressive Lawyers can be found here: http://benchandbarllc.com/aggressivelawyer/?goback=%2Egde_96041_member_244083492
I like the line: Good Lawyers Don't just "Try" cases; Good Lawyers Try to "Resolve" cases.
Most important in Resolving Cases is responding in communication. When a client calls, or when an attorney calls, an answer should be forthcoming. I like to answer my own phone. I do not screen calls. My staff answers if I am in conference or on the other line, but never because "so and so" is calling!
When you need to talk, call me at 407-645-3297. You can also send an email to aubrey@aubreylaw.com or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to hearing from you! Aubrey
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