Collaborative Divorce

In a Collaborative Divorce, the husband and wife communicate their goals to a team of professionals who assist in keeping the mutual goals as paramount as the marriage comes to an end.

The Wife and Husband make all decisions, Not the Judge. Not the Attorneys. The Parties to the Marriage maintain control of their marriage and control of their divorce. Adults know sometimes bad things happen to good people. Adults know bad incidence do not define life. Adults know that hard choices require full disclosure of risks and benefits.

Collaborative Attorneys know Moms and Dads make decisions in their children and families' best interests when given the opportunity and assistance.
When you are faced with Marital Problems that seem beyond your control, call me. You have the control if you will only select the right tool for the job. Litigation is the wrong tool for most families.

My number is 407-645-3297. Or visit my website www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to assisting your family in keeping priorities in perspective and making the right decisions.

Parental Alienation Syndrome -Seminar Sunday- Real Enough for Canada

Every week or so I get an email from the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, PAAO, with resources for families experiencing Alienation by one parent. Sometimes the information includes very helpful links to outlines ( http://www.paawareness.org/video/BrianLudmer-Short%20.pdf, )seminars (https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/484691638) , etc.

Sunday August 25, PAAO is hosting an online webinar regarding Parental Alienation entitled: Organize Your Own Court Case.
The Seminar link is https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/484691638.

I recommend NOT attempting your own litigation in a complex divorce case involving Parental Alienation. The risks are just too high.
Child Custody, or Timesharing as we refer to it in Florida is a critical component of your child's development.
Timesharing also impacts Child Support. It never fails in a Modification Case seeking additional timesharing that the party against whom the pleadings are filed believes the
Many people don't consider the implications on Child Support when they work out their Parenting Plan.
If you have Questions, Call Me! 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

International Travel with Children

Who wants to go to France? How about South Africa? Dubai? The Bahamas? Are you Divorced? Sharing time with your child?

Consider: A client living in Orlando, wants to take her three young children to the Bahama's for the weekend. Its her visitation weekend, does she have to tell their Father? Does she have to get consent or permission? Can he say NO!

International travel with children can be a Problem if both Parents do not consent or approve the travel.

Really, how many parents would abduct their children and take them to a foreign country? Even one is too many.

The Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program, CPIAP, is very helpful.

As the New York Times reported, many countries require notarized written permission of the other parent when traveling alone with a child.

The Department of State, http://travel.state.gov/ has great information for keeping your child safe.

www.myfamilytravels.com is also a great site for information helpful to traveling families.

Happy Birthday to My Son

Words are inadequate to express the love of a father for his only son. In my son, I see all my hopes and dreams, yet I cannot help but acknowledge the fears and regrets as well. For all the times I was too busy to play his game, or watch his TV show, or play legos, or build forts, I will be forever sorry. But for all the things I have taught him over the years, for all the days we have explored National Parks, Hiked Trails, Swam in Springs, Climbed Mountains, visited Stadiums, and so many more places, I will be forever thankful.

J.R. took my highschool name as his own several years ago. I have to admit I almost cried when at a wrestling match, a cute girl yelled for him during warmups. Today, my baby is 16, and I feel older than dirt.

Forgive me not writing more, but I am off to let him drive me around on several errands to visit clients and deliver special documents.

Happy Birthday.

Litigation Management or Mediation Solution

A trial in Divorce Court is not pleasant. In Florida, we have "No Fault" divorces. Nobody gets to tell their side to the judge in hopes of a "win" where fault is not at issue.

He had an affair. She spent our nest egg. He gambled away our retirement. She drank too much. He was not supportive of her career. She wouldn't get a job after the kids went to school. She wouldn't pick up the dirty laundry off the bathroom floor. He left a mess in the kitchen every night.

I have heard a LOT of Excuses for Divorce. There are many good reasons, but sometimes the excuses feel better. Unfortunately, the court doesn't have time or interest in solving all these issues and assigning blame.

The Court's concern is summed up in PEACE:

Parenting: ususally shared. Which parent will have a majority of timeshare with the children?

Equitable Distribution: All the assets and liabilities acquired during the marriage have to be divided between the parties. That includes all retirement accounts, as well as any retirement benefits earned. Houses, cars and investments are legitimate negotiation points; however, furniture and fluff can cause too much litigation. I once spent an hour in mediation to divide a big screen TV. The mediator and two attorneys cost 850 for that hour, more than half the cost of a new TV. In the end, the TV was damaged when turned over and even more litigation ensued.

Alimony: In Florida, normally, we have short term, and long term marriages. Long term get alimony, short term do not. There are also "gray area" marriages which may or may not result in Permanent Alimony depending on several factors listed in the statutes.

Child Support: Once Alimony is awarded, child support is calculated based on the combined income of the parties. A mathmatical formula establishes how much child support will be paid. Negotiation of this amount is possible, but many judges want factual calculations and will award that amount regardless of settlement agreements because child support is the CHILD's interest and should not be waived by one or the other parent.

Everything Else: Attorney's fees. Costs. Mediation Fees. Etc. Anything that doesn't fit in the first 4 categories falls here. Sometimes agreeing to pay a set amount for Attorney's fees is preferrable to having a trial and paying many times the amount to "Win" in court.

PEACE Possible In Divorce!

Call me at 407-645-3297, or just visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

PEACE is within reach!

Why would You even Talk to a Divorce Lawyer?

They will just break up your marriage! NOT TRUE!
Just having Knowledge of the Law can be key to success in many endeavors, even a successful marriage. Remember - Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse!

There are many issues under the "Family Law" umbrella. Adoption, Divorce, Child Support, Custody - or as we now say in Florida, Time Share - Domestic Violence, Post Disolution Motions, and Prenuptial Agreements are all areas Attorneys work and are vitally needed.

Adoption has many differing aspects that only an attorney can sort out to make the best for your family situation. Is Open Adoption an option? Should you consider a Foreign Adoption? How do you domesticate your Foreign Adoption? Should you be a Foster Parent before even considering adoption? An attorney can help you analyze these critical questions to best suit your family situation.

Prenuptial Agreements may sound like movie star problems; however, seniors, second marriages, widows, widowers, and the like are most likely to need these contracts. Only a well trained attorney can properly guide you through the problems and potential defects in such complex documents.

Divorce - some people are immediately turned off by the word; but in our society, everybody knows someone who needs to talk to a divorce lawyer. Working things out in the court may be more important for the children's wellbeing than staying together for the sake of the children. Children do not thrive in conflict. They sense conflict without being told all the particulars. They want Mommy and Daddy to be happy, but don't know how to make Happy work. Thus children will internalize the conflict and become bullies at school, or withdrawn from friends, or neglect schoolwork, or work extra hard at school, pressuring themselves to make their parents HAPPY. Children should not be made the source of their parents conflict or happiness. That is Stress!!!

Why talk to a Divorce Lawyer? For the sake of the Children! Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or

Call me today, 407-645-3297, even if just to say, "Hey, I saw your blog!"

Happy New Year

Have you misdated anything yet? I have had to change the 0 of 09 to a 10 at least twice a day since the first. Today, I wrote the full 09 twice and had to rewrite the date. Oops. Mistakes happen.





What does your New Year hold? Do you have plans that require extraordinary effort? You should. Challenge yourself this Year!





Remember, I'm Proud of You!





Actually, "I'm Proud of You" is the title of Tim Madigan's book, subtitled, My Friendship with Fred Rogers. You remember Mr. Rogers. He always told his young viewers, "I'm Proud of You!"





Some people thought Mr. Rogers was too simple and did not teach children much. I remember seeing him as a child and learning that heat rises. I can still duplicate the experiment using cold water in an aquarium and hot colored water in a vial placed at the bottom. When the vial is opened the hot colored water rises to the top. Scientist can explain why, but suffice to say the Hot water has more energy.





People, like energy, can rise to the top as well. Let this be a great year by challenging yourself to Rise to the Top.

This picture shows my son receiving an award from the Mayor of Winter Park. I am Proud!

Call me! Aubrey Ducker 407-645-3297

How do We get Along for the Children?

Following is a message I received in my role as Guardian Ad Litem for two children. Their parents could not agree on a visitation schedule, arguing about whether weekly pickup and drop off were to be on Friday or Sunday. The Brother of one wrote:

"Lets just stop all the messages between the two of you and just
comply, nothing other than an "OK, see you at ..." This has to become
a non incident as this will always be happening, mix ups are normal in
family affairs and developing a cooperative manner of working
together, without the threat of court action by either party, is the
only suitable choice (In My Opinion)...its not easy, will take both to agree, but
at the first, it will take at least one party to choose to not
fight...be that party, comply no matter how onerous it might be, but
stop the fighting at all costs, determining fault and assigning blame
will only keep both of you stuck in the problem, so sidestep it by
agreeing immediately with no rancor ...that is the only way that
cooperation can sprout and become the way that this parenting can work
harmoniously between all parties...your brother "

I add this post because so many times people in the midst of conflict forget they once loved, and every issue becomes a power struggle. Obviously if the power struggle continues so that one party is constantly taking advantage of the other, an attorney can help present to the court the disparity in parenting. Court should be a LAST Option, not a first thought. Call me at 407-645-3297 for information on Child Custody (now called Time Sharing) or any other family law matter. Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information.

Child Support

Here are 7 things your "Son" should know before having sex, or the resulting children.
1. You are legally responsible for the child you father, even if you didn't want to have a baby. It doesn't matter that you used birth control, or that you wanted to give the child up for adoption.
2. Child Support includes more than money. It includes emotional support, love, food, shelter, clothing, education, TIME, attention . . . even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired, sick, busy . . .
3. You will have to pay Child Support in the form of money until the child reaches 18. Even if you are out of work, in jail, or can't afford your own rent and living expenses.
4. You must pay Child Support even if the mother recieves welfare and food stamps. EVEN IF SHE MARRIES SOMEONE ELSE, who has a good job, who gets called Daddy . . .
5. You cannot avoid Child Support by leaving the state; and certainly not by marrying someone else. Not even by having more children.
6. If you do not pay child support, your credit may be damaged. Your bank account may be seized. Your paycheck may be garnished. You may not get a tax refund you earned. Worse, YOU may be thrown IN JAIL.
7. Only You control when, where and with whom you have sex. It is beyond your control whether the sex you have results in a child. Never tell children you did not want/plan/love them. Being a father begins with wanting, planning and loving the child.
For more information, visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ or www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw

Step One - Establish Paternity

Why? Your child DESERVES the support of BOTH parents. It takes two to conceive the child, and psychological studies cited in most states show two parents are better than one.
You may ask, "How can I establish paternity?"
For children born to a married couple, paternity is PRESUMED to be the Husband.
In Unmarried couples, the Father can Voluntarily establish paternity by allowing or acknowledging the child through the Birth Certificate. HOWEVER, just because your name is listed on the Birth Certificate, doesn't make Paternity certain. If both the Unmarried Mother and Unmarried Father sign a Paternity Acknowledgement Form (available at most Hospitals, Birthing Centers, all Public Health Units, all Department of Children and Families offices, and the Office fo Vital Statistics) the matter can be established thereafter.
A simple blood test may lend insight to paternity, but this is NOT conclusive. When more certainty is required, a genetic test can determine to a very high degree of certainty, who is the father, or not. The Florida Department of Revenue can provide testing information, as can this office.
Again, WHY? In the long term, to secure an inheritance. Also, to show the true Father's name on the Birth Certificate, to allow the child to be connected fully to both parents and their families. For Legal Proof of the childs identity, for Support, both Financial and Medical, Paternity is crucial for Social Security, Veterans and Disability Benefits.