Boxing Day - in Canada - New Holiday Tradition Here

I hope your Christmas was Bright and Merry!!!

On the Day after Christmas, Canada celebrates Boxing Day. I think that is when you box everything up for next year!

It has become a new tradition at our house.

Peace to you; Have a Happy and Safe New Year!

Aubrey

Chirstmas Week and Chanukah Week, Together Again

Happy Holidays! If that makes you angry, stop reading and find a Blog you will enjoy more!
Happy Chanukah, as my Jewish friends are on day 5 (it began Tuesday, December 16, 2014 at sundown and ends Wednesday, December 24, 2014, at sundown) their holiday runs directly into the Christian Christmas Holiday.

One of the Icons of the Bankruptcy Community in Orlando, Jules Cohen, lost his dear wife of more than 50 years this past week. While Jules is Jewish, his wife is Christian. Their marriage speaks volumes of the ability of people in love to work through problems - even conflicts at the very basis of their beliefs.

Funny how divergent sources can come together for peace. Baptist News Global  included in an email on Friday a Huffington Post article, 36 Things I know after 36 years of Marriage. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/winifred-m-reilly/36-things-i-know-after-36_b_6321032.html?
 
Normally, Baptists and the Huffington Post seem to be from the opposite ends of the spectrum of opinion. Normally, opposites attract, right?
Even then, problems arise. What do you do with problems?
I like these excerpts:

2. Most marital problems are fixable. Really. Even the tough ones.

3. The D word (divorce) is a dangerous weapon. I suggest the F word instead: frustrated. Nobody's heart will be broken if you say, "I'm so FRUSTRATED I could scream!"
13. Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things. Money. Intimacy. Parenting. Chores. You can battle, or you can collaborate. Collaboration is a lot more rewarding.

14. Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. Trust me on this one.
36. One of you has to go first. Apologize first. Be vulnerable first. Yield first. Forgive first. Why not let that person be you?

Collaborative Divorce is a "New Thing" in the last 20 years. Still it has taken a LONG time to really gain traction. There is still no "Collaborative Law Statute" in Florida that would assist people in using this method. Collaboration is working together to make decisions that benefit the family - even if the family is separating.

Sometimes the changes people make in their lives require changes in others that others may not be able or willing to make. Freedom necessitates being free to choose to start over. If you need help, call me.

Randy Greater's Grandma's Rules for Thanksgiving - I love This

Grandma's Thanksgiving Dinner invite letter :

 

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in
my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might
consider being with me for my favorite holiday. Dinner is at 2:00. Not
2:15. Not 2:05. Two. 2:00.Arrive late and you get what's left over....
 

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those
contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year,
the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop
of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.
 

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at
someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove.
Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date
them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.
 

Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have
decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice
things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the
environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to
deal with.
 

House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The
television stays off during the meal.

  2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter
bottles because your children still open a third can before
finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is
empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close
attention to refills.

  3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other
way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad
comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with
the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a
good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you.
Buy something from the bakery.

  4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact
of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home,
they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

  5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being
a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without
bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has
a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not
eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look
at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.
6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

  7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

  8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am
sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed
at me.

  9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the
kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because
company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has
lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat
is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I
can live with that. Can you?
 

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don't
need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And
if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said.
Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.
 

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a
battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and
it's true now that you have kids.
 

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas.
Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.
 

In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with
beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from
each family needs to be the designated driver.

  I really mean all of the above.

 

                                  Love You, Grandma

Collaborative Divorce - Conscious Uncoupling

Why do we call "Collaborative Divorce" - Conscious Uncoupling?

Because when you work hard to think about how to disentangle your lives, you find yourself able to be friends afterword. Imagine what that does for your children!


https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/will-smith-and-ex-wife-reunite-to-celebrate-son-birthday-162934798.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=fb

Just for Today, Be Happy!

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/30-things-start-4-absolutely-vital.html

Here are 30 Things You should DO to be Happy!

And here are 22 things Unhappy People Do: http://www.infobarrel.com/22_Habits_of_Unhappy_People

Both are well worth a look!

Receiving Divorce Papers may be one of the most awful things to happen today. But, they may alternatively be the start of greater happiness and a New Life!

You have the choice!
Peace!

In Defense of Marriage and other Divorce Topics

We have Attorney General Pam Bondi defending "traditional" marriage in Florida. George Sheldon is trying to unseat her in the election November 4th.  In China, mobs are defending marriage. http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/crime/mob-led-scorned-wife-strips-husbands-mistress-naked-streets-beats-her

So you really did not marry the "Love of your life." Or maybe you did but He or She CHANGED! That is so unfair. Perhaps the Love of your Life was really infatuation and it took 17 years to figure out you were not really that taken by their longterm life goals. Today must be Huffington Post day, because every article I read pointed to or derived from an article amalgamated by Ariana Huffington.

The first one is actually called, "I Didn't Marry the Love of My Life." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/04/marrying-for-love_n_5642062.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular


Another Divorce related Huffington Post article deals with the role of Parenting Coordinators. When parents cannot seem to agree on any issue, many courts will appoint a Parenting Coordinator to facilitate communication for the benefit of the children.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nicole-h-sodoma/parenting-coordinators-child-custody_b_5287604.html

Of course, after a Collaborative Divorce, many clients report their communications with their former spouse have never been so good.

Then there are the dreaded 6 Words No Divorced Parent Wants to Hear. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/03/parenting-after-divorce_n_5632205.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
You may have guessed: Mom/Dad, I want to live with Dad/Mom. (I know its 7, but the title of the story is not mine to change.)

Along with many guidelines for parents to follow so their children will never utter those horrible words! Do not "badmouth" the other parent. Cover your legal bases. Remain active in your child's life. Recognize the value of the other parent. Yes, good ideas if only clients will follow them.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I received this today via Email.   Good afternoon, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time for each of us to reflect on the devastating impact that domestic violence has on our society. You can scarcely get through a day without hearing a news report about a violent incident in the community. The national conversation often revolves around high-profile instances of abuse, illustrating that money and success are not safeguards. We at the Clerk’s Office deal with those in fear every day as they come to us seeking a judge’s order of protection against someone they believe wants to hurt them. I am proud to say that our recent partnership with Harbor House of Central Florida has already resulted in getting quick help to more than 25 people who may otherwise have had to wait up to 72 hours for their cases to be heard. If you are dealing with assault or stalking, three days is a long time – maybe too long. In April, I began deputizing more than two dozen Harbor House employees. Taking the oath of office has allowed them to continue processing domestic-violence injunction petitions during the hours that the Clerk’s Office is closed. That means no one has to wait overnight or through a holiday or weekend for a Clerk’s Office employee to take their paperwork. “Having this opportunity to swear in our employees to save lives is our primary goal, since being able to process a domestic violence injunction when the Clerk’s Office is closed is crucial for a victim in a domestic-abuse situation,’’ said Carol Wick, president & CEO of Harbor House of Central Florida. “It also enables us to uphold no-contact orders at any Harbor House location, which eliminates one more barrier to protecting survivors and holding abusers accountable.’’ Through September, more than 4,800 people had visited the Orange County Clerk’s Office this year seeking court-ordered protection. If that pace continues, the year-end number will be higher than that of 2013. The paperwork is several pages long and is available at the Clerk’s Office and its branches. It is also available online at myorangeclerk.com, which allows the petitioner to fill out the forms privately and thoroughly, away from crowds and bystanders at the courthouse. I also recently made Affidavit of Violation paperwork available online. This is the form a survivor fills out if their attacker has violated an injunction order. To reach Harbor House of Central Florida after hours, please call 1-800-500-1119. Regards,

Eduardo “Eddie” Fernández Orange County Clerk of Courts

Deceptive and Unfair Trade Practices - You Have Rights!

The Caller complained that a "salesman showed up at her door, and he and his partner would not leave."  I would have said, feel free to call the police.

The Caller said, "They took my vacuum cleaner and left me with this water thing." She felt overwhelmed by the people who were in her home.

 

The next day, she wrote a letter to tell them to come get the vacuum, and return hers, but when they showed up two days later with the financing contracts, again, she felt too much pressure. After all, she was alone with 3 people in her home she did not know. Again, I would have encouraged her to call the police.

 

But, What To Do NOW?

 

Call the Florida Attorney General at 850-414-3300.

 

Or visit her website at: http://myfloridalegal.com/contact

There are links to Frequently Asked Questions, such as my favorite, I need an attorney. Can the Attorney General’s office represent me?  and others:

1. I have a complaint against a private business. Where can I go for assistance?
   
2. Does the Attorney General’s Office provide any services o benefits to victims of violent crimes that have resulted in financial hardship?
   
3. What other services are available for crime victims?
   
4. Does the Attorney General help the public with questions on open government?
   
5. I believe that someone is using my name to run up charges on my credit.  What can I do?
   
6. I have a complaint with another state agency. Can the Attorney General act on my behalf or take action against it?
   
7. Who can help me with questions about child support?
   
8. I am having trouble with my insurance company. Can the Attorney General take action?
   
9. I believe that my local public officials are breaking the law or engaging in unethical behavior. What should I do?
   
10. I am constantly receiving telephone calls at night, on weekends, during the dinner hour, from people trying to sell me something. Is there any way I can prevent these calls?
    
11. I know of a state law that needs to be changed. Who can I contact?
    
12. Where can I find copies of state and federal laws?
    
13. What training does the Attorney General’s Office offer to lawenforcement, victims, and the general public?
    
14. I am part of a local Crime Stopper organization. How can my group apply for a grant from the Crime Stopper Trust Fund?
    
15. Who can help me with a problem concerning my utility?
    
16. I have a complaint against my local law enforcement department. Who can help me?
    
17. I feel that I am being discriminated against because of age,race, gender, or disability. Can the Attorney General help me?
    
18. I do not know all of the details on the products that I buy. How do I protect myself from consumer fraud?
    
19. My landlord is not doing what he is supposed to do according to our lease.  Who can help me?
    
20. My neighbor recently moved to Florida from out of state and the mover would not unload the truck until my neighbor paid him more than agreed upon. I just moved here from within Florida and the same thing happened to me, plus several items were damaged. How can we recover our money?

If these are not your questions, go here to explore other areas:

http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/4492D797DC0BD92F85256CB80055FB97/20AFA53C4EC9E3EA85256CCB00522BE1?OpenDocument

There are links to information about Identity Theft: http://myfloridalegal.com/identitytheft

 

Other places on the site allow direct contact with the office of Consumer Protection: http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/Main/18A7753257FE439085256CC9004EC4F7

 

Here is the page to file a complaint: http://www.myfloridalegal.com/Contact.nsf/Contact?OpenForm&Section=Consumer_Protection_Division

 

Note:

1. All information submitted with this complaint is subject to public inspection pursuant to Chapter 119, Florida Statutes.
2. Whoever knowingly makes a false statement in writing with the intent to mislead a public servant in the performance of his official duty shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 837.06, Florida Statutes.

 

Do not let the warning bother you. If you have been harmed by the actions of a Door to Door Salesman or telephone solicitation, please, protect yourself and others by filing a complaint.

 

An easy link to Citizen Services allows several contacts and valuable information for protecting yourself and your loved ones. http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/Main/27BC1ED4C58ABD878525792200477D3F

 

There is even a Medicaid Fraud Unit - just in case your healthcare provider is performing too many services you don't need or billing the state for services you did not receive. http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/Main/ebc480598bbf32d885256cc6005b54d1

 

You can get involved too.
Consumer-conscious senior citizens in Florida have the opportunity to volunteer their time and energy to help the Attorney General's Office fight back against con artists who typically prey on their number. They can become part of a statewide program known as "Seniors vs. Crime."
Formed in 1989 by the Attorney General, Vern Thornton and the American Association of Retired Persons, the program uses retired citizens not only to educate Floridians on consumer fraud but also to help in some consumer investigations. In addition, the volunteers regularly conduct seminars on how seniors can protect themselves from becoming crime victims.
For program information, consumer inquiries, consumer complaints, or to schedule a Consumer Seminar, please call 1-800-203-3099 or visit our web site at www.seniorsvscrime.com.

 

Finally, thre is even an A-Z resource guide here: https://csapp.800helpfla.com/CSPublicApp/AZGuide/AZGuideSearch.aspx

 

So much help is out there. You just have to look.

Post Divorce Planning

What do you do After you divorce?

Stumbled on a great article for lawyers titled, "Getting on Track Financially After Being Derailed by a Divorce: Lifestyle, Personal Finance, Practice Management"

Of course the average person getting a divorce may not need quite the same planning considerations, or so they think!

Realities are remarkably similar. If a person getting a divorce plans well for the future, the impact to their life can be mitigated. Consult with an investment advisor as to financial needs post-divorce is one way to plan early for Alimony and Child Support needs, and one way to plan for the end of alimony and child support in your particular case.

No one expects child support to last beyond age 18, well Almost No One! Some parents feel child support should continue throughout college even if the child is Not living at home. High Expectations in Divorce lead to extremely difficult cases. Mediation is virtually impossible when one party has expectations that are so far out of reason the other party gives up before they even come close in negotiation.

When the parties begin too far apart, the mediator cannot be expected to bridge the gap in a minimal court required mediation. (This is one reason I always recommend Collaborative Law to my clients.)
If one former spouse wants to continue a life of relative ease while the other is forced to work well past retirement, one side may say, "why negotiate? Let the court decide."

Once you give up control to a third party, whether it be the Judge, or your attorney, or your former spouse, regaining control of your situation may appear impossible. Always remember, Nothing is Impossible; some things are  just more difficult than others. Where parties have been married for a long time, patterns of conduct may have grown that are hard to break free; a good attorney can guide you into positive decisions. Rather than reacting to your spouse, you can direct the negotiation by following the guidance provided. Whether your spouse follows your lead is entirely up to them, but so long as you move toward final resolution in a planned and coordinated effort, the end result can be achieved. (Again, Collaborative Law begins and ends with the Clients making all Decisions.)

If you need assistance, do not be afraid to ask. You must make the effort. You have the power to take control of your situation. Better to work now During the Divorce, than to worry later about what might have been. Call me today: 407-645-3297 or visit my website: www.aubreylaw.com

Oh, that link for What to do After Divorce:
http://legalinkmagazine.com/2014/09/getting-on-track-financially-after-being-derailed-by-a-divorce/

The Birds and Bees of Marriage and Divorce

    You know Bees only attend one Queen. They are from birth set out to serve their Queen and only when a new queen is birthed in the hive does the hive divorce into "old Queen," in the current hive, and "New Queen" hives destined to seek out a hive with her new workers and drones. There is no "hive intermingling" so to speak.

   Likewise, birds can be fairly monogamous, although some are quite prone to wanderlust. Certain birds are quite adept at philandering between as many partners as possible. Take Hummingbirds for instance, "Speedy hummingbirds, eating on the run and flitting from mate to mate, are prone to heart attacks," says Noah Strycker in his new book The Thing With Feathers, reviewed in a New York Times Article yesterday. Also in the review is Bernd Heinrich's The Homing Instinct. What do these books tell us about Marriage and Divorce? http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/10/books/review/the-thing-with-feathers-and-the-homing-instinct.html?_r=0

     Homing instincts are critical to birds navigation around the globe. Most interesting is the description of the Albatross which spends most of its life soaring over the vast open oceans, but is fairly monogamous throughout life. The Albatross uses a dance ritual, learned from years of "courting" that is "as unique as human fingerprints" to each Albatross couple.

     Sunday's magazine of the NYT included a wonderful article detailing Human interaction in relationship and the correlations of education to stability. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/opinion/sunday/the-new-instability.html
Comparison over many years would lead most to believe that since the Equal Rights Revolution in the 60's and 70's divorce has actually become less common among more highly educated men and women. Obviously, changing societal norms have a great impact, as do attitudes. Just watch an episode of Mad Men to see how far we have come.

     If partners to a marriage spent comparative times apart as Albatross couples, and focused their times together on dancing in sync, perhaps divorce would not be common. But human relationships are much trickier than Albatross' interactions.

    Couples undergoing Collaborative Divorce, or Conscious Uncoupling as it is beginning to be known, report significantly improved communications. Probably communications improvements result from the use of a Neutral Facilitator who is trained in interpersonal communication. Perhaps just seeing a clear path to the finalization of the divorce helps. In any case, using a logical, step by step approach to divorce creates numerous benefits over Litigation.

    Collaboration also produces much more fair results than are sometimes obtained through Mediation alone. In Mediation, the parties may not be represented by attorneys and therefore may not have legal advice as to the fairness of anticipated settlements.

    In Collaborative Divorce, each side has an attorney to advice, coach and assist toward a fair result. Each side participates in setting the goals for the Collaborative Team. The Collaborative Team eliminates much of the fighting. When questions arise over who makes how much, what value to place on businesses, and how to divide Real Property, what personal property will be included and who will get what, the Collaborative Team works to balance all considerations to achieve the Team Goals set by the Parties themselves.

(here is an interesting article about some of the potential problems with dividing real estate: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/03/realestate/divorcing-co-op-owners-rooftop-barbecues-and-costly-assessments.html )
  
   As assets increase, so does the news value of divorce. http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/07/24/kenneth-griffin-files-for-divorce-from-anne-dias-griffin/
Especially when the divorce involves significantly high assets such as the Griffin matter. When privacy is a concern, Collaborative Divorce is key. Agreements to keep the matter private are much more effective when all parties are sitting around a table and commit to common goals by signing their agreements not to resort to litigation. Agreeing to agree is possible.

    

Forbes Wants You to Have a Dog

An electronic article in Forbes Magazine Online raised my concern: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2014/04/17/how-are-pets-handled-in-divorce/

Thankfully, Forbes is encouraging its readers to think long-term and consider the business of divorce rather than the emotional fighting that sometimes occurs. Of course, the article details the numerous courts and litigants who want the Judge to decide who gets fluffy and who gets visitation with Fido.

Too many decisions are left to the Judge when there are ways for people to make their own decisions, with help of counsel of course! Collaborative Divorce or Conscious Uncoupling is a Great Place to Start. Visit http://www.collaborativepractice.com/ to learn how this might be right for your family.

There are even websites tailored to Men and Women considering divorce such as: www.Divorceformen.us and www.dadsdivorce.com or http://www.womansdivorce.com/ and http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/divorceadvicepolls/a/adviceforwomen.htm

My favorite magazine, The WEEK ran an article for Men getting a divorce titled: 8 financial tips for men getting a divorce.  http://theweek.com/article/index/250324/8-financial-tips-for-men-getting-a-divorce

Suggestions include: Don't be afraid to pay Alimony. Don't be Afraid to Ask for Alimony! If you haven't read The WEEK, this article is a great example of why you should be reading The WEEK every week.

Some websites target women by featuring books that imply divorce should be a hard fought battle. One book, Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally® – What Women Need to Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During and After Divorce, by Jeff Landers, even promises you will learn how to:

Avoid the top mistakes divorcing women make

Shore up your financial position so you enter the divorce process prepared

Choose between regular alimony or an up-front, lump-sum alimony payment

Decide whether to keep your marital house – and how to do so if it makes sense, financially

Protect your business, intellectual property and personal assets

Divide your assets in a way most favorable to you, from a tax and financial point of view

Disinherit your husband

Determine whether your husband is hiding assets

Build a qualified divorce team

You can even download and preview a chapter at http://thinkfinancially.com/book/!

By using language like "Devastating Mistakes" and "Where Husbands typically hide assets" this guy just wants to scare you into buying his book.

There is a better way!!!

Men and Women benefit from Collaborative Divorce. More importantly Children and Families benefit from "Conscious Uncoupling" as Collaborative Divorce is now being described.

Last Day of July

Wow, I was trying to post a note yesterday, but since I started with a draft from June, it posted in June. I really wanted to post something in July. I have been very busy.

Of course today I discovered that my phone lines have not been working as expected and many of my incoming phone calls have reached a "The Line is Disconnected. If you believe you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and try your call again."

While I am listed on Martindale-Hubbell as an AV Preeminent Attorney, they have my phone number disconnected in their system. I wish it were a temporary problem, but apparently it has been this way for a few weeks.

WHAT??? I have been busy AND new clients have not been able to reach me from my telephone listings! That hurts.

Just to let you know, I can always be found at www.aubreylaw.com
You can email me at aubreylaw@gmail.com
You can call my office direct at 407-645-3297 or 407-645-1330.

Please let me know if you ever call my office and cannot get through. I have a phone system that is supposed to roll calls to an empty line (we have several) or take a message if all lines are busy.

Please forgive me if you have been trying to get through and have reached an error message. I am trying to get it corrected ASAP! They said "24-48 hours" but I am really hoping for 2-4 hours.

I like efficiency in services!!!

News From Winter Park Police Department

Greetings Winter Park,  

Normally I advise to NEVER click on a link in an email or copy and paste it to your browser, however; I am certain these are safe as they are from the Police.  J

*  Pet Walker Watch!!!!  - Take your cell phone when you walk your pets so you can quickly call in any suspicious persons or vehicles.

 

1.    Crime Mapping information - Our Crime Analysis Tech advised that we are utilizing the following link for mapping crime. 

 

http://www.raidsonline.com

 

2.     Women’s Self-defense classes -   2 hour class regarding various safety concerns in parking lots, parking garages, home, parks, etc. and discussion on weapons and techniques to assist in a physical attack.

 

Register Here:         https://wppd.org/community/safe.asp

 

3.    Security Survey’s & SmartWater CSI  -   (A review of your property (windows, doors, locks, landscaping, lighting, etc.) for vulnerability to crime and/or criminal activity and provided a free product to mark your property. (See web link for info)

 

Register Here:         https://wppd.org/smartwatercsi.asp

  

4.    Lockbox Program -     $19 for residents or FREE for 65 or older who are prone to injury, have significant health concerns, that live alone or are alone frequently.  A spare key is provided by you for emergency entrance into your home. (Instead of breaking a door or window.)

 

Register Here:         https://wppd.org/community/lockbox.asp

 

Follow us on Facebook::

Winter Park Police Department                                     

                       

          Facebook.com/winterparkpd

And Twitter:             @WinterParkPD

Or visit:

www.wppd.org

 

"All that's necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke

A Chart of Punctuation - And Congratulations to Weird Al

A first has occurred:

'Weird Al' Yankovic has the Number 1 Album in America this week according to the Billboard 200. Selling more than 104,000 copies, Mandatory Fun is his best selling album ever and the first album to appear at Number 1 on the list.

Since 1983, Weird Al has released more than 15 albums, having success into his fourth decade of work is impressive, more impressive, this is the first time a comedy album has made the top spot in more than 50 years. Weird Al has written more than 100 songs that did not even make it to his albums.

A talented performer, Weird Al established the parody genre popular all over the internet.
He even had a television Saturday Morning show on CBS, The Weird Al Show, for one season in 1997. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Weird_Al_Show

Possibly my favorite song on Mandatory Fun is Word Crimes, a parody of Blurred Lines. You can listen to his new song Word Crimes on the album here: http://www.weirdal.com/ 

Word Crimes appears to have been written for all the grammar police on the internet and to teach some less articulate people why what they are saying is Literally wrong.
For a helpful list of punctuation marks and when they should be used look here:
http://editorial.designtaxi.com/news-punct1606/big.jpg

When you have something to say, proper grammar and punctuation can be the difference between properly conveying an important argument and initiating a resounding thud from your listeners.

Attorneys make arguments to courts using Facts and Law. While facts are individual to a case, Law derives from Code, such as statutes and written rules, and Case law, those decisions handed down by previous courts in similar situations. When a court is faced with similar Fact situations under the same rules, the results are expected to be similar. If the statute applies, it should be enforced, absent some exception found in another statute or case law.

Attorneys should be wordsmiths. Choosing the exact word or phrase to convey their client's business. If the parties were married, it may be a divorce but not a paternity action. If the attorney practices Collaborative Law, she may be cooperative in helping heal the family going through divorce. http://www.cfl-cfl.com/Legal-Directory.html

When an apology is appropriate, an answer may not appear satisfactory.

Sometimes, the wrong word hurts.
 

Congratulations to Commissioner Robert Stuart

After taking the month of May off from writing my blog, I thought it was important to note the swearing in of Robert Stuart as Commissioner of Orlando.

Robert is a dear friend, a trusted adviser, an excellent city commissioner, and my Sunday School teacher at College Park Baptist Church. Monday's swearing in ceremony at Orlando’s City Hall begins another four years of service for Robert, on top of his last eight years as Commissioner of Orlando's District 3.

Additionally, Robert has served as the executive director of the Christian Service Center for more than 20 years.

 

Writing Makes Me Happy

Unfortunately, writing is also work! Saw this and had to add my 2 cents. http://www.infobarrel.com/22_Habits_of_Unhappy_People

Happy People Smile More!

On Friday, I saw a night of one act plays produced by Valencia Community College. http://valenciacollege.edu/

It did not hurt that my daughter was the star of the final act. The plays were Hilarious, Dramatic, Irreverent, Socially challenging, and most of all Creative.

13 playwrights, 29 actors, 16 directors, and one professor used "Resentment Falls" as the theme for the evening. Some chose dramatic interpretations of human interaction where one party's resentment eventually changed to respect, love, or something else. Others used the phrase 'resentment falls' within the dialogue. One referred to a fictional river leading to it; another used an onstage film crew. Tow used painters depicting the beginning and end of different relationships to milk the drama; two used Facebook https://www.facebook.com/  or Twitter https://twitter.com/ to hold distant conversations onstage.

In my most humble opinion, the most creative piece was a horserace between Pride, Anger, Serenity, Confusion, Resentment, Worry, and bringing up the rear, Flatulence. Of course after Resentment falls, taking out Pride and Anger, Serenity wins the day over the others.

My favorite however, was 'Assisted Living'. This play introduced the Resentment Falls Retirement Community, where all your disgruntled relatives can live to their hearts' contentment. Of course grumpy old men complain about everything and Resentment Falls promises to give them much about which to complain. I wanted to purchase the script for our Elder Law Section meeting! Instead, I have asked the director to bring his actors to our annual seminar to perform for 50 lawyers who work hard daily helping elders negotiate the end of life.

Unhappy people have many things in common, laughing at their situation is not one! I hope you can laugh about this blog; at least the work today was fun. Aubrey

A Non-Stressful Way for Florida Couples to Divorce

Going through a divorce in Orlando, Florida, can be a difficult stage of a person's life. Floridians considering divorce should realize that divorce could sometimes be the largest legal, emotional and financial issue they'll ever experience. Ending a marriage severs the legal marital relationship, divides marital assets and sets parenting duties for children.

However, ending a marriage in Florida could be made less difficult if a couple engages in one of several forms of alternative dispute resolution, which may help spouses divorce without the traditional stress and challenge of litigation. Many people are currently choosing a collaborative divorce process because of its different advantages. Divorce and collaborative law is a novel approach that removes the "fight and win" mindset from a divorce process. Collaborative law allows both parties to use negotiation and mediation to settle legal divorce issues.

Collaborative divorce is a popular option for couples because it prevents parties from saying or doing things just to win. Unlike litigation, the collaborative divorce process helps spouses end a marriage amicably, which can also benefit parents who want to settle child-related issues without affecting the child. Because collaborative divorce encourages parents to act as a parenting team when raising their child, divorcing with the collaborative law process can have less emotional impact on a child.
Different professionals in collaborative law may guide divorcing couples through the emotional, financial and legal aspects of divorce. These professionals will remain neutral but will provide the parties with a forum and suggestions to come to a mutual decision.

Compared to a traditional Orlando divorce where the Florida court will decide the divorce settlement, the decision making in collaborative law is done by the spouses and the final outcome solely depends on mutual agreement. More importantly, collaborative divorce may work for both parties who are willing to actively participate in the negotiation.
Source: KERA News, "Three Reasons People Choose Collaborative Divorce," Stephen Becker, March 20, 2014
 

Attorney Ratings are Important - Ask!

Attorney Aubrey H. Ducker Jr has Achieved the AV Preeminent^® Rating - the Highest Possible Rating from Martindale-Hubbell^®.

Aubrey H. Ducker Jr, a lawyer based in Winter Park, FL whose primary area of practice is Family Law, has earned the AV Preeminent^® rating from Martindale-Hubbell^®

Winter Park, FL (PR Newswire) January 28, 2014 - Martindale-Hubbell^® has confirmed that attorney Aubrey H. Ducker Jr still maintains the AV Preeminent Rating, Martindale-Hubbell's highest possible rating for both ethical standards and legal ability, even after first achieving this rating in 2012.
For more than 130 years, lawyers have relied on the Martindale-Hubbell AV Preeminent^® rating while searching for their own expert attorneys. Now anyone can make use of this trusted rating by looking up a lawyer's rating on Lawyers.com or martindale.com. The Martindale-Hubbell^® AV Preeminent^® rating is the highest possible rating for an attorney for both ethical standards and legal ability. This rating represents the pinnacle of professional excellence. It is achieved only after an attorney has been reviewed and recommended by their peers - members of the bar and the judiciary. Congratulations go to Aubrey H. Ducker Jr who has achieved the AV Preeminent^® Rating from Martindale-Hubbell^®.

Aubrey H. Ducker Jr commented on the recognition: "The Martindale-Hubbell AV Preeminent Rating is a credential highly valued and sought after in the legal world. It used to be a sort of secret among attorneys who used the rating as a first screen when they needed to hire a lawyer they did not personally know. Now, thanks to the Internet, the Rating is a great way for anyone – lawyers or lay people - to use to screen lawyers. I am thankful to my peers who nominated me for this distinction, and proud to have earned this, the highest possible Martindale-Hubbell rating."

To find out more or to contact Aubrey H. Ducker Jr of Winter Park, FL, call 407-645-3297, or visit http://www.aubreylaw.com.

As a result of this honor, American Registry LLC, has added Aubrey H. Ducker Jr to The Registry™ of Business and Professional Excellence. For more information, search The Registry™ at http://www.americanregistry.com.

Contact Information:
Aubrey H. Ducker Jr

Phone: 407-645-3297

Email Address: AubreyLaw@gmail.com

Website: http://www.aubreylaw.com

Attorney Aubrey H. Ducker Jr has Achieved the AV Preeminent^® Rating - the Highest Possible Rating from Martindale-Hubbell^®.

Excerpts from My Book

 Inside the Minds: Strategies for Family Law in Florida

Published by Aspatore Books, a Thomson Reuters business

 

Managing Family Law/Elder Care Law Nexus Cases Using Collaborative Law Strategies

. . . Guardianship in Florida is filed in the probate court. My first guardianship case involved a fifty-year-old deaf mute who had received a large settlement from a lawsuit, but because of his disabilities, the court did not want him to have access to that settlement. Therefore, a guardianship of the person was required and a trustee was appointed to manage his assets. (Funny how the Courts will sometimes set up problems for the people they are really trying to assist.)

 

I have also worked on cases involving long-term marriages—marriages of more than fifty years—where the parents were beginning to decline in health and their children were starting to apply for guardianships or having difficult conversations with their parents regarding what would happen to them in the future; i.e., where they would live, and/or if they would have to go into a nursing home. Many such “end of life” questions come up in the practice of elder law—i.e., how and where I am going to live out my life, and who is going to make decisions for me when I an incapacitated? In some cases, one or both of the parties are becoming incompetent due to dementia, Alzheimer’s, or other frailties of age affecting the decision making process and one spouse’s ability to care for the other spouse.

For example, I once had a case involving a couple who had been married for about sixty-two years. The wife wanted a divorce because she was concerned that her husband was trying to kill her. In all of her interactions with me she appeared to be perfectly competent, but during the divorce proceedings it became clear that she had some defects of the memory. The parties had been separated for two years and were living apart; they had homes in different areas of the state and in different states. They had three children; two were aligned with their mother and wanted her to receive all of the couple’s assets, and one child was aligned with the father. In my opinion, instead of talking to their parents about filing for divorce, the children should have been talking to me about filing a guardianship for both parents, because both parents had serious memory defects. Ultimately, the parents got divorced; and the children became engaged in what I refer to it as a pre-death probate process, because the children were basically dividing up their parents’ assets and aligning themselves with the parent who they were expecting to receive an asset from in future years.

As it turned out, some of the assets that the parents claimed to own were, in fact, non-existent, even though we had done due diligence in that area. For example, both spouses had certificates of deposit and bank statements that showed that they had a certain amount of money in the bank; we later learned that the parents had subsequently taken that money out of the bank and used it for their daily living expenses. Consequently, instead of having $200,000 in the bank, the couple only had $20,000. Indeed, between the time of the signing of a marital settlement agreement that had been negotiated with everyone’s full disclosure and knowledge and the time we appeared in court for a final judgment, it became apparent that both spouses had delusional notions regarding the extent of their assets. Therefore, the couple was probably not competent with respect to making decisions concerning a divorce; and we should have been pursuing guardianship issues instead.

In a similar case, I dealt with a couple who had been married for fifty-six years, and the wife had full-blown Alzheimer’s dementia. She did not know on a day-to-day basis where she was or who she was with; she did recognize her husband and her children, but only to a minimal extent. It was clear that she was fully incompetent. Her husband had been taking care of her for several years; and unfortunately, he had made some statements to his adult children, who were in their fifties, complaining about the care that his wife required. The children had interpreted the husband’s concerns and complaints as a reluctance to care for his wife; and one day, they simply took their mother out of her home, claiming that they were taking her to the beautician to get her hair done, and she was never returned to the home. Although the children were seemingly trying to protect their mother from neglect by her husband, they wound up destroying both parents’ lives. The husband died just nine months later, having never seen his wife again because of the actions of his children.

I believe that we are likely to see more guardianship cases in the elder law area in the future, largely because as our life expectancy increases we will see more couples who have been married for fifty, sixty, or even seventy years. Many of those couples have adult children who have been married for twenty to forty years; and those children are becoming the caregivers of their parents in much greater numbers than in previous years. Ultimately, as adult children become caregivers conflicts will arise over the definition of appropriate care. Indeed, we are seeing a growing number of conflicts over where elderly parents should live and who should be providing their care. Unfortunately, I am also seeing more cases involving parents who are outliving their retirement savings. When they retired twenty or thirty years ago they had significant assets, but now that they have become dependent on nursing home care their assets are gone and their children are applying for them to be enrolled in Medicaid.

All too often, the children of elderly parents receive bad advice that leads to very confusing family law issues, especially when you have one party to a marriage who may be suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s and may be incompetent, and their children want to control the care of their parent but they do not really know how to go about doing that. For instance, in the case I referred to where the adult children took their mother away from the home where she had been living with her husband of fifty-six years, those adult children started cleaning out bank accounts so that they would have sufficient assets to take care of their mother. The husband then went to an attorney who advised him to file for divorce so that the court would freeze the couple’s assets, thereby ensuring that that husband would be able to protect his half of the assets. However, that was not an effective strategy—in fact, the children used the divorce filing as evidence that their father no longer wanted to have anything to do with his wife. In this case, the husband’s original attorney wound up making his client’s problem far worse than it was to begin with. When the husband consulted me we immediately withdrew the divorce petition and filed a guardianship petition instead. Unfortunately, the children had already used the divorce petition which was filed in Florida as evidence in their case for a conservatorship in California, where they had taken their mother by plane, even though she did not know where she was going; and she never returned to Florida until after her husband’s death.

My Name: Aubrey Harry Ducker Jr.            

My Firm Name: The Law Offices of Aubrey Ducker, PLC
My Title: Managing Member
My Phone #: 407-645-3297
My Email: Aubreylaw@gmail.com

My Website: www.aubreylaw.com

Business Address:  2020 Mizell Avenue, Winter Park, FL 32792

Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., is a member of the Orange County Bar Association and the Florida Bar  and the American Bar Association. He has received a AV Preeminent Peer Review Rating from Martindale-Hubbell.  Mr. Ducker serves by court appointment as a Guardian Ad Litem, advocating for children in contested custody and abuse or neglect cases. After serving six years in the U.S. Navy onboard the USS George Bancroft, SSBN-643, Mr. Ducker attended the Valencia Community College, the University of Central Florida and the University of Florida Levin College of Law in Gainesville.  

Mr. Ducker’s practice focuses on Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law and Guardianships. He also shares Mortgage Mediation Education Inc. as a co-owner and lecturer on Ethics. Mr. Ducker is previously published under the Aspatore Label with Inside the Minds, Strategies for Family Law in Florida. He also serves on the board of Director of several non-profits and Chairs the Board of Christian Ethics Today.

Mr. Ducker previously served as Attorney for the City of Eagle Lake, Florida

 

Seniors were Green before Being Green was Green!

In a checkout at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

 

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."

 

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

 

She was right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day.

 

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over.

So they really were recycled.

 

But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

 

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings.

 

Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

 

But too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

 

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

 

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

 

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

 

But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

 

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the "green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

 

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?

 

When you need an attorney, or want to find an attorney to help with Elder Law, Guardianships or Family Law, Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com