The Collaborative Family Law Conference is meeting at the Wyndham Grand Hotel at the Bonnet Creek Resort this weekend. BOY do I FEEL LUCKY!!!
Working with Collaborative leaders from all over the state to perfect our practice is a great way to finish out my 3 year term for Continuing Legal Education. Some people would say, wait, why didn't you already finish that? Well, I did, but this is a bonus!
When 400 professionals get together in a legal seminar, it can be a great experience, and it can be a bit of a tooth pulling session.
As the Keynote speaker noted, "How often do you get a chance to be in a group making changes in the world."
Every family needs to know what Collaborative Law can do for their relationships and getting past divorce to a new life.
In Florida there are 10 different Practice Groups. All are part of the Collaborative Law Council of Florida.
I am member of Collaborative Family Law of Central Florida. www.cfl-cfl.com
Being "intentional" in the way a family goes about breaking apart can save children from the dramatic impact of divorce. Most parents say they just want to take care of the kids, but how they do that is a litigated case is beyond me. Most parents think fighting for the most time possible or the most child support possible is what they see as "taking care of the children."
In a Collaborative Divorce, we seek to assist the parents in communicating effectively so they can AGREE on various Goals and then agree to processes to achieve those shared goals.
Shared goals may be for the children to be able to attend college without racking up significant student loan debt.
Awareness of Collaborative Practice
Awareness of the Collaborative Attorney
Relationship Respect - how your name comes up
Reputation - not just what you do, but how you do it.
Visibility - You must be able to BE Found by clients.
Define your brand - Non Adversarial
Live your brand - Non Adversarial
Communicate your brand - Non Adversarial
What is my Brand? WT's Farm - The Ducker Brand
My Grandfather Ducker was well known on Signal Mountain as the most Honest man around. If you asked him a question, no matter how difficult the answer, he would answer honestly, sometimes to his own harm. He grew up in poverty and worked his entire life to give his children the best he could. He was a wonderful example of living up to your word in my life.
My other Grandfather, WT, was the hardest working man I know. He worked from absolute poverty to being one of the leading Polled Hereford farmers in Southeast Tennessee. At a time when artisan was not associated with food, he was a farmer who worked tirelessly for the very best beef, Polled Hereford, being fed the very best grain. All from WT's Farm. His Brand was recognizable on the Mountain and in the County and in the State and across the Southeast.
Who YOU SAY your are must align with who OTHERS SAY you are and most importantly for your own mental health, must be WHO YOU ARE. When I say, "I want to help you move from here to there with the least conflict possible to keep your children from being negatively impacted by your decisions." I am saying that after 15 years of experience watching families break apart and seeing them invest large sums of money to 'get what's right', there is a better way.
Collaborative Divorce is a better way.
I am a calming counsel seeking best outcomes for my clients and their families.
My Brand is a reason to choose. My Brand differentiates me from the other lawyers, attorneys, mediators, counselors, sharks and fish in the sea?
Not just a logo or a tagline.
If you truly want to protect your family from the necessary conflict of a separation, seek out a Collaborative Professional to assist you and your spouse in making the best decisions for the sake of your family.
A Divorce may involve Alimony, Child Support, Timesharing or Property Division. But those are merely the words that are used to describe the outcome. Some divorces involve significant assets, allegations of hiding assets, worries about disclosure of information or finding where all the money was hidden.
Some attorneys will do exactly what their clients want. I am not one of those attorneys. I will work hard to help your family get over this bump in the road and move on with your new life. Call me to find out how Collaborative Law can help your family.
Aubrey
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, May 15, 2015
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Living Wills and the Right to Control Your Life
Living Wills became imperative in Florida after the entire country watched the Terri Shiavo ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terri_Schiavo_case ) drama play out over many years as the Husband tried to allow his wife to die in peace, while her parents insisted on keeping her alive at all costs. Even the Florida Supreme Court and the U.S. Congress got involved in this family's fight. The case even evolved into a college level course at Michigan State University: https://www.msu.edu/course/hm/546/schiavo_case.htm
When Terri finally died, CNN covered the story: http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/31/schiavo/
Almost 10 years later, the Connecticut Supreme Court is being asked to consider whether a 17-year old should be able to refuse Chemotherapy that has an 80% chance of saving her life. The oversimplification of questions in court is required by the media to tell a compelling story, but most people realize family healthcare decisions, and issues involving death, cancer, chemotherapy, and the Department of Children and Families are seldom as simple as the media tries to portray.
The Orlando Sentinel carried the story on Page A-3 (http://eedition.orlandosentinel.com/Olive/ODE/orlandosentinel2/
which originated with the Hartford Current and picked up by Raw Story here: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/01/teen-girl-and-mother-fight-state-of-connecticut-over-right-to-refuse-life-saving-chemo/
Questions of how to end your life, or how to live your life are ever present.
I work in Collaborative Law because tough decisions require well reasoned approaches and detailed answers.
Collaborate.
For your family's sake.
Peace.
When Terri finally died, CNN covered the story: http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/31/schiavo/
Almost 10 years later, the Connecticut Supreme Court is being asked to consider whether a 17-year old should be able to refuse Chemotherapy that has an 80% chance of saving her life. The oversimplification of questions in court is required by the media to tell a compelling story, but most people realize family healthcare decisions, and issues involving death, cancer, chemotherapy, and the Department of Children and Families are seldom as simple as the media tries to portray.
The Orlando Sentinel carried the story on Page A-3 (http://eedition.orlandosentinel.com/Olive/ODE/orlandosentinel2/
which originated with the Hartford Current and picked up by Raw Story here: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/01/teen-girl-and-mother-fight-state-of-connecticut-over-right-to-refuse-life-saving-chemo/
Questions of how to end your life, or how to live your life are ever present.
I work in Collaborative Law because tough decisions require well reasoned approaches and detailed answers.
Collaborate.
For your family's sake.
Peace.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Chirstmas Week and Chanukah Week, Together Again
Happy Holidays! If that makes you angry, stop reading and find a Blog you will enjoy more!
Happy Chanukah, as my Jewish friends are on day 5 (it began Tuesday, December 16, 2014 at sundown and ends Wednesday, December 24, 2014, at sundown) their holiday runs directly into the Christian Christmas Holiday.
One of the Icons of the Bankruptcy Community in Orlando, Jules Cohen, lost his dear wife of more than 50 years this past week. While Jules is Jewish, his wife is Christian. Their marriage speaks volumes of the ability of people in love to work through problems - even conflicts at the very basis of their beliefs.
Funny how divergent sources can come together for peace. Baptist News Global included in an email on Friday a Huffington Post article, 36 Things I know after 36 years of Marriage. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/winifred-m-reilly/36-things-i-know-after-36_b_6321032.html?
Normally, Baptists and the Huffington Post seem to be from the opposite ends of the spectrum of opinion. Normally, opposites attract, right?
Even then, problems arise. What do you do with problems?
I like these excerpts:
2. Most marital problems are fixable. Really. Even the tough ones.
3. The D word (divorce) is a dangerous weapon. I suggest the F word instead: frustrated. Nobody's heart will be broken if you say, "I'm so FRUSTRATED I could scream!"
13. Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things. Money. Intimacy. Parenting. Chores. You can battle, or you can collaborate. Collaboration is a lot more rewarding.
14. Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. Trust me on this one.
36. One of you has to go first. Apologize first. Be vulnerable first. Yield first. Forgive first. Why not let that person be you?
Collaborative Divorce is a "New Thing" in the last 20 years. Still it has taken a LONG time to really gain traction. There is still no "Collaborative Law Statute" in Florida that would assist people in using this method. Collaboration is working together to make decisions that benefit the family - even if the family is separating.
Sometimes the changes people make in their lives require changes in others that others may not be able or willing to make. Freedom necessitates being free to choose to start over. If you need help, call me.
Happy Chanukah, as my Jewish friends are on day 5 (it began Tuesday, December 16, 2014 at sundown and ends Wednesday, December 24, 2014, at sundown) their holiday runs directly into the Christian Christmas Holiday.
One of the Icons of the Bankruptcy Community in Orlando, Jules Cohen, lost his dear wife of more than 50 years this past week. While Jules is Jewish, his wife is Christian. Their marriage speaks volumes of the ability of people in love to work through problems - even conflicts at the very basis of their beliefs.
Funny how divergent sources can come together for peace. Baptist News Global included in an email on Friday a Huffington Post article, 36 Things I know after 36 years of Marriage. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/winifred-m-reilly/36-things-i-know-after-36_b_6321032.html?
Normally, Baptists and the Huffington Post seem to be from the opposite ends of the spectrum of opinion. Normally, opposites attract, right?
Even then, problems arise. What do you do with problems?
I like these excerpts:
2. Most marital problems are fixable. Really. Even the tough ones.
3. The D word (divorce) is a dangerous weapon. I suggest the F word instead: frustrated. Nobody's heart will be broken if you say, "I'm so FRUSTRATED I could scream!"
13. Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things. Money. Intimacy. Parenting. Chores. You can battle, or you can collaborate. Collaboration is a lot more rewarding.
14. Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. Trust me on this one.
36. One of you has to go first. Apologize first. Be vulnerable first. Yield first. Forgive first. Why not let that person be you?
Collaborative Divorce is a "New Thing" in the last 20 years. Still it has taken a LONG time to really gain traction. There is still no "Collaborative Law Statute" in Florida that would assist people in using this method. Collaboration is working together to make decisions that benefit the family - even if the family is separating.
Sometimes the changes people make in their lives require changes in others that others may not be able or willing to make. Freedom necessitates being free to choose to start over. If you need help, call me.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Why Collaborative Divorce?
There are MANY reasons to choose a Collaborative Divorce, Costs, Timeliness, Process, Control, CHILDREN.
The Costs associated with asking a Judge to decide major issues in a divorce case can range from hundreds to tens of thousands of dollars. Most attorneys know what the judge is likely to decide given the limited facts the judge will ultimately hear. So why should you give aways your children's college fund in order to risk the judge seeing things your former spouse's way? You should not.
Timliness is how long it will take to have the Judge make a decision. Just getting on the calendar for a hearing may take several weeks to several months. At hearing, if your attorney runs short of time, either because he did not prepare or because the other side managed to distract and stall the presentation of evidence for your case, you may have to wait several more weeks or months to finally have the Judge hear all the evidence allowing a ruling. That ruling may be subject to appeal, or the Judge may take some time to reduce an oral ruling to writing, delaying a few more weeks, or in the case of appeal, several more months.
In a Collaborative Case, time is determined by your attorney's scheduling with the other team members who are all working to Resolve the situation, not to delay decisions! This Collaborative Process puts YOU in Control of the Decisions. Having a Communications Coach, and your legal advisor, helping You Make the Decisions saves time, and ultimately results in a Much less Stressful process for your family. Ultimately, Collaborative Divorce results in Less Drama for children as Parents can learn to work together even though they are no longer married and living together. The reduction in stress in the household, along with new communications styles and mediums may have a lasting effect on your family, and especially your Children. Call me 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
Still not convinced, according to Lauren Hansen, there are at least 9 more to consider when Children are involved:
Just in case you missed it - Divorce brings on a world of issues for children.
We like to think children are resilient and can adapt easily, but in reality, childhood trauma manifests itself for YEARS to come in their lives.
Make the Decisions Now so in the future, your children will Thank you.
The Costs associated with asking a Judge to decide major issues in a divorce case can range from hundreds to tens of thousands of dollars. Most attorneys know what the judge is likely to decide given the limited facts the judge will ultimately hear. So why should you give aways your children's college fund in order to risk the judge seeing things your former spouse's way? You should not.
Timliness is how long it will take to have the Judge make a decision. Just getting on the calendar for a hearing may take several weeks to several months. At hearing, if your attorney runs short of time, either because he did not prepare or because the other side managed to distract and stall the presentation of evidence for your case, you may have to wait several more weeks or months to finally have the Judge hear all the evidence allowing a ruling. That ruling may be subject to appeal, or the Judge may take some time to reduce an oral ruling to writing, delaying a few more weeks, or in the case of appeal, several more months.
In a Collaborative Case, time is determined by your attorney's scheduling with the other team members who are all working to Resolve the situation, not to delay decisions! This Collaborative Process puts YOU in Control of the Decisions. Having a Communications Coach, and your legal advisor, helping You Make the Decisions saves time, and ultimately results in a Much less Stressful process for your family. Ultimately, Collaborative Divorce results in Less Drama for children as Parents can learn to work together even though they are no longer married and living together. The reduction in stress in the household, along with new communications styles and mediums may have a lasting effect on your family, and especially your Children. Call me 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
Still not convinced, according to Lauren Hansen, there are at least 9 more to consider when Children are involved:
9 negative effects divorce reportedly has on children
The Week – Thu, Mar 28, 2013
http://news.yahoo.com/9-negative-effects-divorce-reportedly-children-220900169.htmlJust in case you missed it - Divorce brings on a world of issues for children.
We like to think children are resilient and can adapt easily, but in reality, childhood trauma manifests itself for YEARS to come in their lives.
Make the Decisions Now so in the future, your children will Thank you.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Family Reunion in Tennessee
This past weekend, I drove 24 hours round trip to Tennessee to see my family. The family, distant relations, cousins and friends most of whom I had not seen since I last attended this reunion 25 years ago, was described by one of the 55 year 'friends' as the Nicest family she has ever known. What a Joy. Sharing stories of long ago loves, courtships, children, pranks, jokes, dances, murders, drunkeness, abandonment, the list grows longer, but the stories are told again. The family is described in two different books and its is likely that every person who traveled the Cumberland Gap road between 1796 and today has been impacted by the Snoderlies, Cranks, Bollingers, Onks, Eubanks and others who make up this delightful bunch.
This family has its share of unpleasant issues and complications. One Great-grandmother is cared for by a grandson, though her son or daughter could also provide the care. The family as a whole abhors nursing homes due to an incident of elder abuse in the 70's that proved no care is like family care.
Divorces are evident with second spouses and questions of first wives, children with differing last names, even one divorced couple that still attend because they both love all these people so much.
The Chidren were incredible. No fighting, just playful banter between long lost friends who have never met, but because their parents said they are cousins must be glad to see each other.
One family was restored many years ago after a newborn boy was given up for adoption. An ad in a geneological magazine led the family to find him and learn they had lived within 20 miles of each other for the past 40 years.
Pickin guitars, and singing songs late into the night while negotiating for just a taste of homemade peach wine, kept us up til all hours, but noone was too tired to be pleasant.
On the whole, and by all individual parts, I would not trade this weekend for anything.
This family has its share of unpleasant issues and complications. One Great-grandmother is cared for by a grandson, though her son or daughter could also provide the care. The family as a whole abhors nursing homes due to an incident of elder abuse in the 70's that proved no care is like family care.
Divorces are evident with second spouses and questions of first wives, children with differing last names, even one divorced couple that still attend because they both love all these people so much.
The Chidren were incredible. No fighting, just playful banter between long lost friends who have never met, but because their parents said they are cousins must be glad to see each other.
One family was restored many years ago after a newborn boy was given up for adoption. An ad in a geneological magazine led the family to find him and learn they had lived within 20 miles of each other for the past 40 years.
Pickin guitars, and singing songs late into the night while negotiating for just a taste of homemade peach wine, kept us up til all hours, but noone was too tired to be pleasant.
On the whole, and by all individual parts, I would not trade this weekend for anything.
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No matter how dark the night!