In Defense of Marriage and other Divorce Topics

We have Attorney General Pam Bondi defending "traditional" marriage in Florida. George Sheldon is trying to unseat her in the election November 4th.  In China, mobs are defending marriage. http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/crime/mob-led-scorned-wife-strips-husbands-mistress-naked-streets-beats-her

So you really did not marry the "Love of your life." Or maybe you did but He or She CHANGED! That is so unfair. Perhaps the Love of your Life was really infatuation and it took 17 years to figure out you were not really that taken by their longterm life goals. Today must be Huffington Post day, because every article I read pointed to or derived from an article amalgamated by Ariana Huffington.

The first one is actually called, "I Didn't Marry the Love of My Life." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/04/marrying-for-love_n_5642062.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular


Another Divorce related Huffington Post article deals with the role of Parenting Coordinators. When parents cannot seem to agree on any issue, many courts will appoint a Parenting Coordinator to facilitate communication for the benefit of the children.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nicole-h-sodoma/parenting-coordinators-child-custody_b_5287604.html

Of course, after a Collaborative Divorce, many clients report their communications with their former spouse have never been so good.

Then there are the dreaded 6 Words No Divorced Parent Wants to Hear. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/03/parenting-after-divorce_n_5632205.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
You may have guessed: Mom/Dad, I want to live with Dad/Mom. (I know its 7, but the title of the story is not mine to change.)

Along with many guidelines for parents to follow so their children will never utter those horrible words! Do not "badmouth" the other parent. Cover your legal bases. Remain active in your child's life. Recognize the value of the other parent. Yes, good ideas if only clients will follow them.

"Family Circus" Best - Not in Court

One of my favorite cartoons is Family Circus. One of my favorite cartoons included the following exchange between the characters 3 year old and 6 year old siblings:

Why are you crying?

Mom and Dad are yelling at each other.

But at least they are not yelling at you!

I know, but if they were yelling at me, at least I'd understand it!

Family conflict is difficult for children to understand. When parents fail to communicate, or communicate in abusive ways, children suffer the most, primarily because they do not understand. They try to understand Love through their parents' teaching, but when parents resort to yelling, children become stressed because they do not understand!
Mommy and Daddy love each other.
Mommy and Daddy love me.
Mommy and Daddy are yelling at each other.
Mommy and Daddy will yell at me.
So goes childhood logic. Children resort to acting out. Parents resort to discipline. The Spiral of Conflict has begun. Where will it end?

Collaborative Divorce seeks to place two parents on equal terms for communication with a trained guide to assist in adult, two-way communication. Many parents say they communicate better after a Collaborative Divorce than they Ever Did in the marriage.

What a shame we cannot get the communications right before the Marriage is endangered.

When you have questions regarding a Collaborative Divorce, Call me!
I will teach you effective ways to communicate.