How do you Work Out Terms in a Collaborative Divorce

Working Out the Terms of your Spousal Support Agreement in a Collaborative Divorce

Spousal support, also known as alimony, is an issue that arises in many Florida divorces. It is the money one partner pays to the other after their divorce, generally for a fixed period of time but sometimes, until the receiving spouse remarries or either partner dies. This money is intended to help the spouse who opted out of the full-time workforce to care for the couple’s home and children during the marriage to avoid financial hardship.

 In a collaborative divorce, the divorcing couple works together to make their own determinations about their divorce settlement, rather than having the court make them. Alimony is often an issue discussed during collaborative divorces alongside parenting time and the division of the couple’s marital assets.

In Florida, you Can Waive your Right to Seek Spousal Support

Florida law permits individuals to waive their right to seek alimony in the event of their divorces in prenuptial agreements. This is not the case in all states.

Just like a collaborative divorce, a prenuptial agreement requires a couple to be flexible and willing to work together to make determinations that benefit them both, even in unpleasant situations like divorce.

Waiving Spousal Support in Exchange for a Larger Share of Marital Assets

When you divorce through collaboration, rather than litigation, you and your spouse work together to reach a divorce agreement that best fits your needs. In any divorce, dividing your marital assets is a component of the final settlement and often, it is the largest component of the settlement. Talk about potentially opting out of alimony in exchange for a more favorable share of your marital assets with your spouse, but also with your lawyer privately – there could be issues you do not initially recognize, like large tax burdens associated with certain marital assets or the long-term impact of choosing not to create an alimony order.

Collaborative Divorce is All About Keeping Control of your Divorce

Couples who choose collaborative divorce are often more satisfied with the results of their divorces than couples who divorce through litigation.

If you took on lower-paying jobs or opted out of the workforce completely during your marriage, alimony is a way to protect your financial future. Do not confuse the need to be amicable in a collaborative divorce with a need to agree with everything your spouse suggests. If you feel alimony is in your best interest, explain this and support your position with relevant facts during your collaborative divorce meetings. Your lawyer is your advocate, but you also need to advocate for yourself.

Work with an Experienced Winter Park Divorce Lawyer

When you are considering divorce, you have a lot on your mind. Before you begin the collaborative divorce process, discuss these issues with your divorce lawyer so you begin the process educated about Florida’s divorce laws and what you can expect given your case’s unique circumstances. Contact The Law Offices of Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., P.L.C. today to schedule your initial consultation with us.

http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.079.html

How Expensive Is a Divorce?

For some, VERY Expensive.
An Alimony check made out for $974,790,317.77 seems a little high. When you consider the man writing the check has a net worth of more than $8 Billion, well, lets just say they are still in court!

You can read about it here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2015/01/08/harold-hamms-975-million-uncashed-divorce-check-how-about-deducting-it/

You can even learn a little about taxes and Divorce Settlements here:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2014/11/11/harold-hamms-billion-dollar-divorce-and-the-irs/2/

In reality, a Divorce can be expensive or cheap, depending upon your desires. If you seek maximum conflict, then expensive it is. If you want years of legal wrangling, go with cheap.

My office strives for efficiently extricating clients from difficulties. We want to prevent problems next year by doing the hard work now. Many times, clients see their dreams realized by selecting Collaborative Divorce and making their own decisions.

Where there are High Assets, people may want to limit their exposure to the public and to continuing attorneys fees and court costs. Collaboration is the way to go.

Visit my website to learn more: www.aubreylaw.com
or simply pick up the phone and call 407-645-3297.
I look forward to hearing from you.

In Defense of Marriage and other Divorce Topics

We have Attorney General Pam Bondi defending "traditional" marriage in Florida. George Sheldon is trying to unseat her in the election November 4th.  In China, mobs are defending marriage. http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/crime/mob-led-scorned-wife-strips-husbands-mistress-naked-streets-beats-her

So you really did not marry the "Love of your life." Or maybe you did but He or She CHANGED! That is so unfair. Perhaps the Love of your Life was really infatuation and it took 17 years to figure out you were not really that taken by their longterm life goals. Today must be Huffington Post day, because every article I read pointed to or derived from an article amalgamated by Ariana Huffington.

The first one is actually called, "I Didn't Marry the Love of My Life." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/04/marrying-for-love_n_5642062.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular


Another Divorce related Huffington Post article deals with the role of Parenting Coordinators. When parents cannot seem to agree on any issue, many courts will appoint a Parenting Coordinator to facilitate communication for the benefit of the children.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nicole-h-sodoma/parenting-coordinators-child-custody_b_5287604.html

Of course, after a Collaborative Divorce, many clients report their communications with their former spouse have never been so good.

Then there are the dreaded 6 Words No Divorced Parent Wants to Hear. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/03/parenting-after-divorce_n_5632205.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
You may have guessed: Mom/Dad, I want to live with Dad/Mom. (I know its 7, but the title of the story is not mine to change.)

Along with many guidelines for parents to follow so their children will never utter those horrible words! Do not "badmouth" the other parent. Cover your legal bases. Remain active in your child's life. Recognize the value of the other parent. Yes, good ideas if only clients will follow them.

The Birds and Bees of Marriage and Divorce

    You know Bees only attend one Queen. They are from birth set out to serve their Queen and only when a new queen is birthed in the hive does the hive divorce into "old Queen," in the current hive, and "New Queen" hives destined to seek out a hive with her new workers and drones. There is no "hive intermingling" so to speak.

   Likewise, birds can be fairly monogamous, although some are quite prone to wanderlust. Certain birds are quite adept at philandering between as many partners as possible. Take Hummingbirds for instance, "Speedy hummingbirds, eating on the run and flitting from mate to mate, are prone to heart attacks," says Noah Strycker in his new book The Thing With Feathers, reviewed in a New York Times Article yesterday. Also in the review is Bernd Heinrich's The Homing Instinct. What do these books tell us about Marriage and Divorce? http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/10/books/review/the-thing-with-feathers-and-the-homing-instinct.html?_r=0

     Homing instincts are critical to birds navigation around the globe. Most interesting is the description of the Albatross which spends most of its life soaring over the vast open oceans, but is fairly monogamous throughout life. The Albatross uses a dance ritual, learned from years of "courting" that is "as unique as human fingerprints" to each Albatross couple.

     Sunday's magazine of the NYT included a wonderful article detailing Human interaction in relationship and the correlations of education to stability. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/opinion/sunday/the-new-instability.html
Comparison over many years would lead most to believe that since the Equal Rights Revolution in the 60's and 70's divorce has actually become less common among more highly educated men and women. Obviously, changing societal norms have a great impact, as do attitudes. Just watch an episode of Mad Men to see how far we have come.

     If partners to a marriage spent comparative times apart as Albatross couples, and focused their times together on dancing in sync, perhaps divorce would not be common. But human relationships are much trickier than Albatross' interactions.

    Couples undergoing Collaborative Divorce, or Conscious Uncoupling as it is beginning to be known, report significantly improved communications. Probably communications improvements result from the use of a Neutral Facilitator who is trained in interpersonal communication. Perhaps just seeing a clear path to the finalization of the divorce helps. In any case, using a logical, step by step approach to divorce creates numerous benefits over Litigation.

    Collaboration also produces much more fair results than are sometimes obtained through Mediation alone. In Mediation, the parties may not be represented by attorneys and therefore may not have legal advice as to the fairness of anticipated settlements.

    In Collaborative Divorce, each side has an attorney to advice, coach and assist toward a fair result. Each side participates in setting the goals for the Collaborative Team. The Collaborative Team eliminates much of the fighting. When questions arise over who makes how much, what value to place on businesses, and how to divide Real Property, what personal property will be included and who will get what, the Collaborative Team works to balance all considerations to achieve the Team Goals set by the Parties themselves.

(here is an interesting article about some of the potential problems with dividing real estate: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/03/realestate/divorcing-co-op-owners-rooftop-barbecues-and-costly-assessments.html )
  
   As assets increase, so does the news value of divorce. http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/07/24/kenneth-griffin-files-for-divorce-from-anne-dias-griffin/
Especially when the divorce involves significantly high assets such as the Griffin matter. When privacy is a concern, Collaborative Divorce is key. Agreements to keep the matter private are much more effective when all parties are sitting around a table and commit to common goals by signing their agreements not to resort to litigation. Agreeing to agree is possible.

    

Is Divorce an All or Nothing Proposal?

In Divorce, an all or nothing mentality may actually harm your chance of a normal life after. Why should it be so? Laws in Florida imply, if not outright require, a roughly 50/50 equitable distribution and recent changes to longstanding presumptions make a 50/50 timesharing proposal the seeming norm.
While an All or Nothing mentality may be bad for divorce, it seems an the All or Nothing thought on  Marriage is actually necessary. Sunday's New York Times, www.nytimes.com included an article: The All or Nothing Marriage.  http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/15/opinion/sunday/the-all-or-nothing-marriage.html?_r=0  "the answer to whether today’s marriages are better or worse is “both”
The author, Eli J. Finkel, explains how women's rights have actually strengthened marriages, as well as weakening them. He explores reasons why some marriages succeed despite great obstacles while others fail with little or no friction.

Anecdotally, I have seen both as well. In my dual practice of Elder Law and Family Law. I have worked on the estate planning of "happily married 60 years" octogenarians and I have worked on divorces for people married less than 8 months. The Times article deftly addresses radical differences that impact both.

While a marriage may be All or Nothing, does the feared divorce have to be? I would say No. Many people are traumatized by divorce; however, many more are happier after leaving a bad marriage. In court just yesterday, a father shook his head in disagreement as Judge Roger McDonald said some people are happier after divorce. I know his ex-wife is happier. I also know he longs for the opportunity to correct the many mistakes of 12 years ago that resulted in a divorce. The children are caught in the middle and as the same judge says in his self-published book, "It's Not the Divorce that Hurts, It's the Fighting."

We no longer live in the world of The Waltons, as the death of my favorite father figure actor Ralph Waite testifies. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/15/arts/television/ralph-waite-patriarch-in-tv-series-the-waltons-dies-at-85.html

Social mores are no longer attuned to a clearly religious concept of right and wrong. Today, children must be heard rather than silenced. Women can and do "have it all" as shown by the possible next Governor of Texas, Wendy Davis.  http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/16/magazine/wendy-davis.html

But, what if you don't want to just divide down the middle? What if you worked harder, contributed more, sacrificed more, brought in more, than your partner? How do we count the division of marital labor in a divorce? As time goes by, many rights that were clear a few years ago have changed. Even with regard to a swimming pool and shared use. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/18/nyregion/complex-with-a-rare-indoor-amenity-is-divided-over-who-gets-to-swim-in-it.html

As the courts try to wrangle with rights of the parties, many choose to go their own way. Rather than have the court address all manner of evidence from social media, Facebook, Twitter and the like,
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/16/sunday-review/social-media-a-trove-of-clues-and-confessions.html
some people choose a "Nothing" Divorce. As in, Nothing for the Court to Decide. Nothing worth destroying the family over. Nothing is better than destroying the relations between children and parents.

Collaborative Divorce allows the parties to work through the same questions of divorce, but with the help of a communications specialist, two attorneys and an independent financial guru to ensure that each party's needs and goals are met so far as is possible. The Parties Make All Decisions. Nothing is left to the Judge to decide. Routinely Collaborative Law Attorneys are surprised at how warring factions can come together across a table to agree on goals that protect their children, as well as maximize their future. Just ask one.

When you need help, call me, 407-645-3297 or visit my website, www.aubreylaw.com
And just for reading this, enjoy this little nugget: 

Collaborative Divorce

In a Collaborative Divorce, the husband and wife communicate their goals to a team of professionals who assist in keeping the mutual goals as paramount as the marriage comes to an end.

The Wife and Husband make all decisions, Not the Judge. Not the Attorneys. The Parties to the Marriage maintain control of their marriage and control of their divorce. Adults know sometimes bad things happen to good people. Adults know bad incidence do not define life. Adults know that hard choices require full disclosure of risks and benefits.

Collaborative Attorneys know Moms and Dads make decisions in their children and families' best interests when given the opportunity and assistance.
When you are faced with Marital Problems that seem beyond your control, call me. You have the control if you will only select the right tool for the job. Litigation is the wrong tool for most families.

My number is 407-645-3297. Or visit my website www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to assisting your family in keeping priorities in perspective and making the right decisions.

A Divorce Lawyer's Advice on Marriage

How long have you been married? 25 years. I used to answer that question, "13 years, but it feels like forever." I was not meaning an insult, simply stating that I felt like I had always been with my wife. Strange then that I ended up ending marriages for profit. I don't actually end the marriage, I just do the paperwork, and get the court's approval.

The New York Times (www.nytimes.com) had two articles leading up to Valentines' Month that really hit on the issues of marriage, especially Long Term Marriage.

The first, Does Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex, compares the division of chores and the division of income to find a prosperous balance of work while maintaining sexual stereotypes of work division. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/magazine/does-a-more-equal-marriage-mean-less-sex.html
Both funny and illustrative, the article comes up with the following proper division for pure marital bliss:   The risk of divorce is lowest when the husband does 40 percent of the housework and the wife earns 40 percent of the income.
Wish I had known that before I got engaged! My wife was an attorney when we met, and I was a Sailor. Not the romantic type on a yacht or sailing ship, the enlisted type, E-3. The difference in our incomes was quite staggering. Thankfully, after putting me through college and law school, my wife continues to practice, and our incomes greatly changed. I don't know how to divide housework, but I like doing most of the cooking. I prefer to do the 'man jobs' as well, but she routinely takes out the trash or takes the rolling carts to the street.

Daniel Jones, editor of Modern Love writes another article, Good Enough? That's Great! listing several types of people and problems with long term marriages, some of which might lead to awards of alimony, unequal equitable distribution and many other problems during a litigated divorce. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/02/fashion/good-enough-thats-great.html
"Those Who Sneak," as Jones calls them, are the primary pool of potential clients of most attorneys. We all know someone who is just one phone call, text or picture away from a nasty divorce fight. Of course they are the 'quiet victim' in their own mind. The philanderers, cheaters, letches and creeps follow stereotypes that prove the rule. When I hear women say, "all men are dogs" or "he just can't keep it in his pants" I am seldom sympathetic.
Then there are the people Jones refers to as the Quashers.
Quashers suppress their feelings of slights in order to keep their little world safe. Don't upset him. Don't make her angry. Just get over the feelings of anger, hurt, humiliation and fear. It won't happen again, until it does, and once again, they will quash their own feelings, desires, emotions to keep the family safe.

Finally there are the Restorers. Jones writes, "When a restorer couple’s marriage starts to feel subpar, they sit down and have a sensible discussion about where their marriage is and where they would like it to be. Then they set goals and seek the means to achieve those goals. Typically affluent, educated and highly motivated, restorer couples almost single-handedly support the vast and profitable marriage-improvement industry." These are the people who choose Collaborative Marriage and Collaborative Divorce when necessary.

In a Collaborative Divorce, the husband and wife communicate their goals to a team of professionals who assist in keeping the mutual goals as paramount as the marriage comes to an end. The Wife and Husband make all decisions, Not the Judge. Not the Attorneys. The Parties to the Marriage maintain control of their marriage and control of their divorce. Adults know sometimes bad things happen to good people. Adults know bad incidence do not define life. Adults know that hard choices require full disclosure of risks and benefits. Collaborative Attorneys know Moms and Dads make decisions in their children and families' best interests when given the opportunity and assistance.

Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to helping your family in its time of crisis.

On Marriage and Divorce, Collaborative Style

We can't all have a marriage like Jay Z and Beyoncé. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/04/arts/music/beyonce-and-jay-zs-sultry-dance-makes-a-case-for-marriage.html  But can we all have the benefits? Married partners who truly express their love, can be affirming for others. Couples who share their "dirty laundry" can make the rest of us uncomfortable. Are you happy in your marriage? There are certainly benefits, but some may be overstated.

Recently an article in the New York Times caught my eye: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/magazine/can-marriage-cure-poverty.html?hpw&rref=magazine
Titled, Can Marriage Cure Poverty, the article explores the idea that married couples are somehow boosted from the poorhouse through collective gain. While it is an easy assumption that two parties can live more efficiently than one, I think this article places too much emphasis on raw statistical analysis and too little on evidence of life realities in the 21st century.
Actually the opinion piece is critical of Florida Senator Marco Rubio for his statements on the subject. At a speech by Rubio last month he stated: In 1964, “93 percent of children born in the United States were born to married parents. By 2010 that number had plummeted to 60 percent.”
Rubio was really criticizing President Johnson and the War on Poverty, Johnson’s governmental campaign to boost the opportunity and incomes of the poor, begun in 1964. So on the 50th anniversary of the War on Poverty,  Rubio calls marriage “the greatest tool to lift children and families from poverty.” How nice. If only the other 7% of children had had married parents, there would have been no poverty to declare war upon.
Very Naïve Senator.

Another article details the other end of the spectrum: Divorce among the 1%.  http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/02/business/breakup-at-740-park-avenue.html?_r=0
As Julie Creswell writes, "This is a story of marriage and money in the 16-room, five-and-a-half-bath duplex world of luxury Manhattan real estate." What might be referred to as a High Asset Divorce.
The story goes on to detail the catastrophe of the Great Recession as it inspires the rich to seek divorce. Unfortunately, as unhappy marriages sometimes go, there was an allegation of a drunken assault, resulting police intervention. From there the story is all too familiar. Any equitable distribution must consider allegations of a post-nuptial agreement, claims of ownership of jewelry, insurance proceeds taken by fraud, ashtrays valuations, and all manner of argument. Collaborative Law might have helped out this situation. I wonder if Senator Rubio warned them of the poverty headed their way? Perhaps he should have because bankruptcy filings are mentioned throughout the story.

Parents must make real choices for their children. Preservation of assets may seem as though one party simply wants all the pie while leaving the cleanup to others. Actually, children of divorce have higher incidence of teen pregnancy, school disciplinary problems, and criminal activity when compared to their friends of happily married parents.

In a collaborative practice, we seek to allow parents to make the decisions normally left to the judge. We allow parents to find the best result for their family even if it is not exactly like the law may imply. What is best for your family? If divorce is being discussed, Collaborative Law should be considered.

If you have questions, call me 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
          I look forward to hearing from you!

Why Does Divorce have to be So Complex?

Divorce, according to Wikipedia is the termination of a marital union, the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between a married couple. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce

Simply put, Divorce ends a marriage. Why is that so Difficult?

Almost every week the New York Times contains an article about divorce, whether involving the children of divorce in a Broadway play, the Collaborative process, a documentary film about divorce in foreign lands, responses to the legislature's plans for "no-fault" divorce, http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/opinion/17coontz.html?pagewanted=all or salacious articles regarding specific persons and their problems with divorce, such as the media mogul Rupert Murdoch: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/14/business/media/rupert-murdoch-files-for-divorce-after-14-years-of-marriage.html
At least for Murdoch, the end may be near:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/20/business/media/murdoch-divorce-said-to-be-almost-final.html?_r=0

If you pay attention to the news media, you might think divorce is either all too common or incredibly complex. Specific articles regarding divorce after 50,  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/22/fashion/weddings/divorce-after-50-grows-more-common.html

You may observe that the "children of divorce" suffer years of trauma to their psyche. Even the participants in the divorce process may look to coaches or therapy sessions to help their adjustment to single life. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/16/fashion/a-program-that-aims-to-lead-to-post-divorce-peace.html

Every major religion has teachings on Divorce, whether it be the requirement of a "get" for Jewish women to be divorced, Islamic requirements for an Imam's approval of the divorce. Even Scientologists have interesting issues:   http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/fashion/for-scientologists-divorce-is-no-simple-matter.html

An article last year detailed the Divorce Hotel where, in a weekend, couples could complete all the paperwork to finalize their divorce. The cost ranged between $3,500 and $10,000 depending on many factors. Unfortunately the Divorce Hotel is in the Netherlands! http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/27/business/the-divorce-hotel-a-true-weekend-getaway.html

Do you know why many lawyers support Same-sex marriage? Same-Sex DIVORCE!
We see in Mississippi the real national problem related to Same-sex marriage - no not those parochial concerns of religion - How do you get a divorce if you were married in Massachusetts and move to Texas? How do you get a divorce when the State of Texas doesn't even recognize the marriage? http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/28/us/mississippi-quest-for-a-same-sex-divorce.html

If you have questions regarding Alimony, Child Support, Equitable Distribution, Retirement Plans, Marital Property, call me 407-645-3297 or visit my website: www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to helping you!

Another good UCF Post on Passing Unequal Shares in a Will

http://ucfgiving.org/?pageID=34&docID=25

When parents plan to divide their estate, problems may be forthcoming. From ancient times until today, unequal distribution causes envy and strife. If you want to save your family some pain, confusion and conflict, if you want to avoid probate altogether, Call me or visit my website. If you have questions, we have answers, www.aubreylaw.com
Thanks!

Social Security and Divorce? You have Questions, We have Answers!

UCF, my Alma Mater, does a Great Job in its Planned Giving Department. I wish I had time to write blog posts like this one: http://ucfgiving.org/?pageID=31&docID=508
You may have to review the article titled "How Divorce Can Affect Your Social Security" but it is well worth the read!
Covered are notes on how to get your Ex-spouse's Social Security to benefit you! We cover this in most divorces, but what you do not know can hurt your long term financial wellbeing.
When you have questions regarding Alimony, Social Security, Equitable Distribution in your complex divorce, call me. Or visit my website www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to helping you.

Dividing Assets in Divorce

Who gets what when you get divorced? This is one of the questions most people think about when the topic of divorce comes up. The Answer? Equitable Distribution.

Equitable is not always Equal. Dividing up marital assets and deciding who has to pay which debts can be rather tricky, especially since the real estate crash. Beginning in 2007 and continuing until last year, many homes fell in value. Some Marital Homes lost more than 60% of their pre-crash value. Over 2013 we have begun to see reversals and many homes are once again gaining value and in some cases Equity. Is this the right time to file for Divorce? Call me at 407-645-3297 to set a time to discuss your particular situation. You can always visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Dividing Equity can usually be done either by trading other assets, including retirement accounts or buying out the other party's interest. Of course you know Equity is that portion of the value of the home that you own, that value above the mortgages. For example: A $250,000 home with a mortgage of $180,000 and a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC) of $20,000 would have Equity of $50,000. Were the owners to sell the home and divide the equity they could each receive $25,000 (Of course this assumes two owners, and no selling costs).

Equitable Distribution begins to get more complicated when the home is "underwater" owing more in mortgages than the actual value of the home. Owing more than a home is worth may lead parties to consider a "Strategic Default."

For example, someone who purchased their home in May, 2007, may owe more than twice what the home is worth. Home values in the Orlando area hit their peak according to Zillow.com (www.zillow.com) between May 2006 and August 2007. A home in the 32801 zip code purchased in May 2007 for $225,000 could be worth as little as $114,000 today due solely to market forces. Who is willing to pay the $200,000 mortgage still owing on the home that is worth so little today.

Strategic Default http://schott.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/26/strategic-defaults/ is the homeowners plan to default on the mortgage and stay in the home as long as possible, rent free, until the foreclosure is completed and the bank forces them out. The New York Times had this to say about Strategic Default.   http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/magazine/10FOB-wwln-t.html   You might think this is an awful thing to do, but the Home Mortgage Bankers Association did the same exact thing in Washington DC.  http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2011/02/04/mortgage-groups-old-building-flipped-for-a-profit/

When homeowners face foreclosure, the extra stress can lead them to consider divorce as one alternative. If you are facing divorce, call me or visit my website www.aubreylaw.com

I will be here to help.

I love the New York Times

Recently on a trip to New York City, I had the opportunity to see a baseball game. The Yankees were NOT in town as is so often the case when I am in NYC, so as I always do, I went to a METS game. The Mets colors match my Florida Gators and they had a promotion going on where you could get a free Jersey for subscribing to the New York Times. The Jersey was Black, with orange and blue trim. My Winter Park High School Wildcats team colors are Black and Orange, the same as my son's school, Tusculum College. Win the Trifecta of Spectator Apparel!

The cost of subscribing to the New York Times was only $17 per month, less than 1/4 of the price of the jersey in the store. Win again!

Now, I get the Sunday NY Times each weekend. I get the daily electronic version http://www.nytimes.com/ of the paper on my computer each day. Win Again!

Best of all, I really Love the New York Times. The articles are well written, informative and in depth. For example, in my Elder Law practice, I often deal with grandparents who have lost touch with their children and grandchildren. An opinion piece today, related one person's experience with similar situations. http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/28/forgetting-grandma/ Elders can always find additional assistance with the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, NAELA, and in Florida, Florida Academy of Elder Law Attorneys.
Some stories appear just entertaining but as you read them you notice so much more and learn more than you ever planned to consider. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/28/fashion/weddings/divorce-whisperer-mediating-with-parents-isnt-easy-field-notes.html

A story just two weeks ago really set me thinking about my Family Law practice. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/10/your-money/from-a-divorce-in-the-affluent-class-lessons-for-all.html?pagewanted=all In high asset divorces, the emotional impact may be the same as others, but the financial wrangling can overwhelm parties who are accustomed to little worry over daily finances. I have worked to promote Collaborative Divorce in my area of practice and today saw the benefit first hand as my client walked into court, answered a question from the judge and walked out with her divorce 20 minutes later. Yes, we had filed the case 60 days ago. Yes, there were other meetings between the parties and their attorneys. Yes, there were many complex papers to complete; however, for the clients, we removed most of the stress of being in court and having others decide what would become of their lives. The Clients were the only ones making decisions about their family. The Lawyers, the Judge, the System did NOT decide who got what or paid how much to whom.

Even a simple search on the New York Times finds support for the Collaborative Process. http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/#/Collaborative+divorce/ More than 30 articles appear, and the list keeps growing, showing the financial, psychological and Family benefits of Collaborative Divorce. Every now and then, I am truly proud of what we do in helping families improve their lives.

I love spending just a few minutes reading the paper each day. Now I have to be careful not to get caught up in following one great article after another in the NY Times. If I can be of assistance to you or your family, please call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

High Asset Divorce and Collaboration

Greed, trust and divorce.
How much is enough?
If you built a home together with your spouse and later divorced, you might expect to sell the home and divide the proceeds. What if you bought an exisiting home, improved it, watched it grow as an asset, and then decided to part ways? Would you trust your spouse to accurately represent its value? Would you get an appraisal?

What if your spouse forced you out of the home and then claimed the home was worth less than you thought; then your spouse worked out a secret deal to sell the home while telling you it was appraised at a certain value, inducing you to sign a Marital Settlement Agreement.

You might think this is Fraud. You might think your attorney should have done more to check on the value of the marital home. You might ask the court to throw out the settlement agreement due to fraud.

If the "Home" was the Los Angeles Dodgers, and the value asserted to you was $300 Million, and you settled your divorce for $144 Million, you might be very upset to learn the Dodgers were sold two weeks later for $2 Billion Dollars. Two Billion Dollars make a much larger pile of cash than $144 Million.

http://gma.yahoo.com/jamie-mccourt-claims-foul-pitch-131m-divorce-002230290--abc-news-celebrities.html

The McCourts Divorce has been news for a while.  Do the words Greed, Trust, Divorce, Marital Asset, of Fraud seem different in light of the story above?  The comments following it consistently fault the Wife for being "greedy" or "not doing her homework" or "not being happy with what she agreed to and received." Forget that the law indicates the "property" should be divided EQUALLY. Most observers fault her for wanting a fair share. Some comments from women are the Most appalling: "Oh come on! Take the $131 million and be happy, you old witch. I'm 59, no longer pretty, and would love a payload of $131 million for any reason. Don't get greedy. Were you the driving force behind your ex's success? I think not."

In reality, the former Mrs. McCourt was intimately involved in the Dodgers operations up until "he 'fired' her, and 'from that point forward, he completely excluded her from every aspect of management...'
Clients in Collaborative Divorce proceedings have certain luxuries that litigated cases do not afford. One feature is communication. Communication breeds trust. Trust overcomes greed. Everyone walks away much healthier, happier and overall less combative.

In a Collaborative Divorce, we work together to help you make intelligent decisions affecting your family. Many clients find Collaborative Divorce encourages more honest communications and disclosures while minimizing the costs to your family. One of the best features of a Collaborative Divorce may be keeing your private information and affairs PRIVATE. Noone has to know until you decide what to tell them.

If you would like a private consultation regarding your rights under Florida Law, please call me at (407) 645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
You can also send an email to aubrey@aubreylaw.com or aubreylaw@gmail.com
Don't allow yourself to be cheated. You have certain rights under the law, but you must insist they be enforced. A

Collaborative Divorce Saves Money, Time and Stress

Almost every month the Collaborative Family Law Group of Central Florida http://www.cfl-cfl.com/ meets to discuss ways we can help our clients save money, save time and save stress when pursuing a divorce. Sometimes we meet together at the Mount Vernon Inn on 17-92.
http://bestwesternflorida.com/hotels/best-western-mount-vernon-inn/ 
Other times we meet in one of four practice groups at various offices in the area. Each time we meet, we learn new ways to discuss, facilitate, encourage, coach or counsel our clients.
The International Association of Collaborative Professionals http://collaborativepractice.com/ is an international community of legal, mental health and financial professionals working in concert to create client-centered processes for resolving conflict. Supporting Collaborative Practice as a conflict resolution option, its Mission is:

• establishing and upholding the essential elements, ethical and practice standards of Collaborative Practice;
• fostering professional excellence by educating and providing resources to Collaborative practitioners;
• leading and integrating the Collaborative community; and
• promoting the growth of Collaborative Practice.

Why would you want a Collaborative Professional? Because it saves you Time, Money, Resources, and most of all STRESS! In a Collaborative Divorce, YOU make the Decisions in concert with your spouse and several professionals selected to assist.

You get to select a single Financial Professional to assess your family's finances to maximize child support and alimony so that limited resources are stretched for the family's benefit.

You get to select a Mental Health Professional who coaches you in communication. Many graduates of a Collaborative Divorce find they are much better able to communicate than ever during their marriage.

You get to decide how and when you get divorced; there is no waiting on a response from the other side, the court, a deposition, etc.

You are not alone in these decisions! You have help from several professionals who work daily in these situations. Our collective experience and expertise HELP you Make Decisions!

Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com and ask how we can help you seek a Collaborative Divorce. Aubrey