Family Crisis Never Comes When Convenient

Family Crisis - Those words can strike fear in most adults.
A simple search of "Family Crisis, caring for the elderly" in the New York Times, www.nytimes.com finds numerous articles covering a wide range of options and alternative programs. http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/?action=click&contentCollection&region=TopBar&WT.nav=searchWidget&module=SearchSubmit&pgtype=Homepage#/family+crisis+caring+for+the+elderly/
So too, crisis within a family may take many forms.
Crisis may be in the form of Grandparents who suddenly have to take on raising their Grandchildren after years out of the Parental Melting Pot of School, Extracurricular endeavors like sports, dance, etc. http://www.nytimes.com/1997/03/30/nyregion/caring-for-the-grandchildren.html
Crisis may come from an accident or injury to a parent that suddenly makes them need care from their adult children.
Crisis may come from an adult child who suffers an injury and needs care.
Both of these situations may make Guardianship a necessary court intervention.

Of course, Interventions are by design adversarial, and Court Interventions are no less so.
The Court's process in a Guardianship begins with a "Petition to Determine Competence."
I doubt there is anything more harmful to family interaction than one family member going to court seeking to have the judge find another family member Incompetent.

Perhaps employing an Elder Care Specialist might be helpful. More than 4 years ago the times reported shortages in this area. http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/20/a-missed-opportunity-to-recruit-specialists-in-elder-care/

Typically, the adult children have been helping "Mom or Dad" in various ways and in varying amounts over many weeks, months or even years. One child takes them to the doctor, the pharmacist, and to lunch every Saturday. One Child does all their banking, making sure the doctor is paid, the pharmacist is paid and the credit cards are all paid. One child calls every day, hears about the trip to the doctor, the trip to the pharmacist, and even hears all about the luncheon on Saturday. Each child feels they are doing a lot, and all feel Mom and Dad need their help for this, that or the other task. Eventually, one child decides "something must be done" to either spread the burden of care, or establish authority for care, or once and for all to affirm to everyone else that "I am in charge!"

Sometimes people have to take time off of work. Many people still think Family Medical Leave Act provides payment for these "job vacations." Not true. What to do? http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/12/17/a-way-to-stay-on-the-job/?_r=0

At this point it is important to know that a Guardianship can be expensive. The legislature requires that people must be represented by an attorney in Guardianship Proceedings. This includes any individual seeking to become the Guardian, as well as any other party who wants to be involved in the process. Additionally, the Proposed Ward must be represented by an independent attorney, known as an Attorney Elisor, to protect the Proposed Ward's interests; after all, this proceeding may remove substantial rights of citizenship including the right to vote, the right to marry, the right to decide where and with whom to live, etc.

The Court will appoint 3 people to evaluate the Proposed Ward, including two doctors and one "layperson" with experience in evaluations of Alzheimer's, Dementia or Eldercare. These must be paid and must complete their evaluation in a timely manner, usually within about 30-60 days of appointment. Occasionally, these people meet with delays in completing their evaluations, and like all things in the legal world, delays may require additional time and fees.

Sometimes Family Crisis comes from Divorce. Other times the crisis comes from assets being hidden or bank accounts being frozen by the courts or by opposing parties. Even though they look similar, Financial abuse of the elderly can be a serious crime, but may simply be Medicaid Planning in a thought out (if not talked out) process.

What Family Crisis are You Facing today? Do you need help? If you have all the answers, please let the rest of us know. If you would like to discuss some collaborative, creative or essential solutions to a Family Crisis, call me, at 407-645-3297.  Or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
Thanks!

Excerpts from My Book

 Inside the Minds: Strategies for Family Law in Florida

Published by Aspatore Books, a Thomson Reuters business

 

Managing Family Law/Elder Care Law Nexus Cases Using Collaborative Law Strategies

. . . Guardianship in Florida is filed in the probate court. My first guardianship case involved a fifty-year-old deaf mute who had received a large settlement from a lawsuit, but because of his disabilities, the court did not want him to have access to that settlement. Therefore, a guardianship of the person was required and a trustee was appointed to manage his assets. (Funny how the Courts will sometimes set up problems for the people they are really trying to assist.)

 

I have also worked on cases involving long-term marriages—marriages of more than fifty years—where the parents were beginning to decline in health and their children were starting to apply for guardianships or having difficult conversations with their parents regarding what would happen to them in the future; i.e., where they would live, and/or if they would have to go into a nursing home. Many such “end of life” questions come up in the practice of elder law—i.e., how and where I am going to live out my life, and who is going to make decisions for me when I an incapacitated? In some cases, one or both of the parties are becoming incompetent due to dementia, Alzheimer’s, or other frailties of age affecting the decision making process and one spouse’s ability to care for the other spouse.

For example, I once had a case involving a couple who had been married for about sixty-two years. The wife wanted a divorce because she was concerned that her husband was trying to kill her. In all of her interactions with me she appeared to be perfectly competent, but during the divorce proceedings it became clear that she had some defects of the memory. The parties had been separated for two years and were living apart; they had homes in different areas of the state and in different states. They had three children; two were aligned with their mother and wanted her to receive all of the couple’s assets, and one child was aligned with the father. In my opinion, instead of talking to their parents about filing for divorce, the children should have been talking to me about filing a guardianship for both parents, because both parents had serious memory defects. Ultimately, the parents got divorced; and the children became engaged in what I refer to it as a pre-death probate process, because the children were basically dividing up their parents’ assets and aligning themselves with the parent who they were expecting to receive an asset from in future years.

As it turned out, some of the assets that the parents claimed to own were, in fact, non-existent, even though we had done due diligence in that area. For example, both spouses had certificates of deposit and bank statements that showed that they had a certain amount of money in the bank; we later learned that the parents had subsequently taken that money out of the bank and used it for their daily living expenses. Consequently, instead of having $200,000 in the bank, the couple only had $20,000. Indeed, between the time of the signing of a marital settlement agreement that had been negotiated with everyone’s full disclosure and knowledge and the time we appeared in court for a final judgment, it became apparent that both spouses had delusional notions regarding the extent of their assets. Therefore, the couple was probably not competent with respect to making decisions concerning a divorce; and we should have been pursuing guardianship issues instead.

In a similar case, I dealt with a couple who had been married for fifty-six years, and the wife had full-blown Alzheimer’s dementia. She did not know on a day-to-day basis where she was or who she was with; she did recognize her husband and her children, but only to a minimal extent. It was clear that she was fully incompetent. Her husband had been taking care of her for several years; and unfortunately, he had made some statements to his adult children, who were in their fifties, complaining about the care that his wife required. The children had interpreted the husband’s concerns and complaints as a reluctance to care for his wife; and one day, they simply took their mother out of her home, claiming that they were taking her to the beautician to get her hair done, and she was never returned to the home. Although the children were seemingly trying to protect their mother from neglect by her husband, they wound up destroying both parents’ lives. The husband died just nine months later, having never seen his wife again because of the actions of his children.

I believe that we are likely to see more guardianship cases in the elder law area in the future, largely because as our life expectancy increases we will see more couples who have been married for fifty, sixty, or even seventy years. Many of those couples have adult children who have been married for twenty to forty years; and those children are becoming the caregivers of their parents in much greater numbers than in previous years. Ultimately, as adult children become caregivers conflicts will arise over the definition of appropriate care. Indeed, we are seeing a growing number of conflicts over where elderly parents should live and who should be providing their care. Unfortunately, I am also seeing more cases involving parents who are outliving their retirement savings. When they retired twenty or thirty years ago they had significant assets, but now that they have become dependent on nursing home care their assets are gone and their children are applying for them to be enrolled in Medicaid.

All too often, the children of elderly parents receive bad advice that leads to very confusing family law issues, especially when you have one party to a marriage who may be suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s and may be incompetent, and their children want to control the care of their parent but they do not really know how to go about doing that. For instance, in the case I referred to where the adult children took their mother away from the home where she had been living with her husband of fifty-six years, those adult children started cleaning out bank accounts so that they would have sufficient assets to take care of their mother. The husband then went to an attorney who advised him to file for divorce so that the court would freeze the couple’s assets, thereby ensuring that that husband would be able to protect his half of the assets. However, that was not an effective strategy—in fact, the children used the divorce filing as evidence that their father no longer wanted to have anything to do with his wife. In this case, the husband’s original attorney wound up making his client’s problem far worse than it was to begin with. When the husband consulted me we immediately withdrew the divorce petition and filed a guardianship petition instead. Unfortunately, the children had already used the divorce petition which was filed in Florida as evidence in their case for a conservatorship in California, where they had taken their mother by plane, even though she did not know where she was going; and she never returned to Florida until after her husband’s death.

My Name: Aubrey Harry Ducker Jr.            

My Firm Name: The Law Offices of Aubrey Ducker, PLC
My Title: Managing Member
My Phone #: 407-645-3297
My Email: Aubreylaw@gmail.com

My Website: www.aubreylaw.com

Business Address:  2020 Mizell Avenue, Winter Park, FL 32792

Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., is a member of the Orange County Bar Association and the Florida Bar  and the American Bar Association. He has received a AV Preeminent Peer Review Rating from Martindale-Hubbell.  Mr. Ducker serves by court appointment as a Guardian Ad Litem, advocating for children in contested custody and abuse or neglect cases. After serving six years in the U.S. Navy onboard the USS George Bancroft, SSBN-643, Mr. Ducker attended the Valencia Community College, the University of Central Florida and the University of Florida Levin College of Law in Gainesville.  

Mr. Ducker’s practice focuses on Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law and Guardianships. He also shares Mortgage Mediation Education Inc. as a co-owner and lecturer on Ethics. Mr. Ducker is previously published under the Aspatore Label with Inside the Minds, Strategies for Family Law in Florida. He also serves on the board of Director of several non-profits and Chairs the Board of Christian Ethics Today.

Mr. Ducker previously served as Attorney for the City of Eagle Lake, Florida

 

Happy Labor Day!

Since I will not be in the office on Monday, I wanted to wish you all a Happy Labor Day!

Of course the protests going on Thursday, detailed in the New York Times here: http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/29/marching-at-mcdonalds-for-a-15-wage/?hp
As you probably know, the Labor in Labor Day celebrates those that make the country prosperous. The WORKERS of America have always been the backbone to our greatness.
For the history as written more than a century ago, look here: http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F3091EFD3E5911738DDDA80B94D0405B828CF1D3
 A few years later, Samuel Gompers, the President of the American Federation of Labor, the AFL in our current AFL-CIO, penned this: http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F30612F7355D16738DDDAD0894D1405B808DF1D3

When workers are abused, mistreated and underpaid, Unions begin to look pretty good. The Unions negotiated wonderful employment packages for the Steel Industry, the Auto Industry, and many others that formed the backbone or our manufacturing society right up until the "Union busting 80's" came along and encouraged opposition to unions at all levels of society. You may recall the Air Traffic Controllers' strike that Ronald Reagan oversaw as President of the United States. When he fired all the air traffic controllers, their union was done. Later free trade agreements allowed U.S. industry to move overseas without paying any import duties. The work force in other countries does not have the history of union organization that protects their poorest workers.

Of a more recent vintage: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/06/opinion/06mon2.html

Finally, from a school assignment come these questions:

–What does “union” mean?
–Why would an employee want to join a union?
–Why might some employers discourage their employees from joining a union?
–What different types of workers’ unions exist?
–What laws regulate the workplace, and why were they instituted?
–What events in history have illustrated the need to identify and protect the rights of workers?
–How might workers in a union voice that they do not like some of the things happening at a workplace?
–What might happen if a worker in a union goes against a union decision, such as working during a strike?
–How has the development of unions affected the United States economy?
–What issues still exist in the workplace that unions might want to change?

How you answer these questions says as much about your background as it does about the future of our great country.
Have a Happy Labor Day. If you need assistance with legal issues such as Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, or Guardianships, call me or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Brain Gym - Excercise Your Mind

My mother works the Sudoku puzzel every day. Many people work on crossword puzzels, or brain teasers daily. These activities help keep the mind working and can (according to research) stall or prevent alzheimers, dementia and other brain lag that typically occurs with aging.

http://www.kenneymyers.com/blog/24-blogs-with-things-you-can-do-to-keep-your-brain-sharp-as-you-age/

Somebody asked that I put this link in my blog, and I trust you will enjoy the link.

Call me when you have legal questions at 407-645-3297, especially those questions related to Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, Guardianships and HAMP tier I and Tier II Mortgage Modifications.

Or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Case Law Update 2012

Learning goes on and on and on . . .
Today, I attended the Webinar provided by the Florida Bar on Family Law Issues from cases this year.
Always good to update your knowledge regarding what the courts are doing, and what the appellate courts are saying about what the courts are doing.
In the past year, Grandparents' Rights, Alimony, adultery, Parenting Plans, Timesharing, paternity, domestic violence, Enforcement and Fees were only a few of the issues considered for the courts' action this year.
When you are selecting an attorney to represent your family in court, ask what courses of study have been completed to remain up to date on the law of the state. 
The 5th DCA clarified the Relocation statute as to the 50-mile rule.
The 2nd DCA clarifited allocation of outstanding expenses for child support to the proportion of income of the parties rather than 50/50 as many agree.
The First DCA clarified a "supportive relationship" and whether it would end alimony.
These are but a very few of the 20 pages of cases reviewed. If you have questions of a legal nature call an attorney.
If you have questions regarding Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law or Guardianships, Call me! 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Guardianship, Conservatorship and Rights

The Orange County Bar Association, Solo and Small Firm Committee met in Orlando today to discuss Basic Guardianships. I always enjoy a refresher course, so I attended. Wow! OK, so I knew most of this, but its nice to meet other attorneys for lunch and have an excuse to add a refresher to my Blog.

In Florida, any adult can file a Petition to Determine Incapacity against any other adult. This is coupled with a Petition to Appoint Guardian so the Alleged Incapacitated Person, or Proposed Ward, can be protected. But Protected from what?

As we age, our brains may not function correctly in all instances. Sometimes, Alzheimers, Dememtia, stroke or other disease may render one incapable of understanding the dangers of everyday living. When a person is incapacitated so they are a danger to themselves, the court can step in and remove some of their rights in order to protect them from self-inflicted harm. The harm may be physical in nature, or financial.

Many people try to take advantage of these normal aging processes and financially exploit seniors. Sometimes even family is guilty of exploitation. In fact, Many times the person being exploited is a close relation to the abuser. Financial exploitation IS ABUSE!

Once the Petition is filed, the court appoints a 3-person committee to evaluated the "Proposed Ward," or "Allegedly Incapacitate Person" to determine whether the AIP is competent to make life decisions. The 3 person "Examining Committee" includes two doctors and one layperson with experience in Elder Affairs. Llife decisions that may be impaired by the court include such major decisions as voting, marriage, living arrangements, donations to religious organizations, medications, surgeries. No less important are decisions involving who may visit the ward or where the ward may travel with visitors.

The Court also appoints an Attorney Ad Litem to represent the AIP or Proposed Ward. Sometimes the AIP has a longstanding relationship with an attorney who will represent him in the proceedings. Either way, the Proposed Ward is protected so that rights are only removed to the most limited extent necessary to protect the Ward. Often the Proposed Ward will have completed a Durable Power of Attorney that obviates the need of a Guardianship proceeding; a Preneed Guardianship is also available to help lower the cost of eventual Guardianship Proceedings.

If you have a Power of Attorney, it must be Durable in order to continue operation once a person is found to be incapacitated or what we think of as incompetent. If you thought everything was honky dorey, then watch out! Powers of Attorney come in many shapes and sizes and can even be purchased at Home Depot, Lowes, OfficeMax, Target and Walmart. They are NOT all the same. They are Legal Documents that include required formalities in the signing. I have had more than one client who brought a "Durable Power of Attorney" that was improper and ineffective. People have signed in the wrong space, forgotten to notarize signatures, "checked" the wrong box, and even paid an attorney for a "Durable" power of attorney which expired at incapacity. Please seek help in evaluating your needs.

If you have read this far, you may wonder what all these protections cost. A Durable Power of Attorney is certainly the least expensive.
Guardianships may cost between $1,500 minimum and several tens of thousands when competing interests are active in contesting the Guardianship. The filing fees alone are more than $600. Payment for the Examining Committee (between $850 and $1,500) and Attorney Ad Litem (between $500 and $5,000) make the process appear expensive to some. When you consider that a person is potentially losing their rights as a citizen, you may better understand the expense. Obviously your selection of an attorney is one critical factor in controlling these costs and making the necessary legal filings as efficient as possible.

When you have questions about the competence of your parents or elderly neighbors, Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to hearing from you.