October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I received this today via Email.   Good afternoon, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time for each of us to reflect on the devastating impact that domestic violence has on our society. You can scarcely get through a day without hearing a news report about a violent incident in the community. The national conversation often revolves around high-profile instances of abuse, illustrating that money and success are not safeguards. We at the Clerk’s Office deal with those in fear every day as they come to us seeking a judge’s order of protection against someone they believe wants to hurt them. I am proud to say that our recent partnership with Harbor House of Central Florida has already resulted in getting quick help to more than 25 people who may otherwise have had to wait up to 72 hours for their cases to be heard. If you are dealing with assault or stalking, three days is a long time – maybe too long. In April, I began deputizing more than two dozen Harbor House employees. Taking the oath of office has allowed them to continue processing domestic-violence injunction petitions during the hours that the Clerk’s Office is closed. That means no one has to wait overnight or through a holiday or weekend for a Clerk’s Office employee to take their paperwork. “Having this opportunity to swear in our employees to save lives is our primary goal, since being able to process a domestic violence injunction when the Clerk’s Office is closed is crucial for a victim in a domestic-abuse situation,’’ said Carol Wick, president & CEO of Harbor House of Central Florida. “It also enables us to uphold no-contact orders at any Harbor House location, which eliminates one more barrier to protecting survivors and holding abusers accountable.’’ Through September, more than 4,800 people had visited the Orange County Clerk’s Office this year seeking court-ordered protection. If that pace continues, the year-end number will be higher than that of 2013. The paperwork is several pages long and is available at the Clerk’s Office and its branches. It is also available online at myorangeclerk.com, which allows the petitioner to fill out the forms privately and thoroughly, away from crowds and bystanders at the courthouse. I also recently made Affidavit of Violation paperwork available online. This is the form a survivor fills out if their attacker has violated an injunction order. To reach Harbor House of Central Florida after hours, please call 1-800-500-1119. Regards,

Eduardo “Eddie” Fernández Orange County Clerk of Courts

Domestic Violence, Trials and the Congressman

The Orlando Sentinel (www.orlandosentinel.com) reported today that Congressman Alan Grayson is embroiled in a particularly distasteful divorce which has now included allegations of Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence is all too common and can be investigated here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

Spousal Abuse occurs against Women and Men. It is NOT primarily focused on one gender, even though the United States funds the Office on Violence Against Women. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Office_on_Violence_Against_Women.

The Tamp Tribune picked up the story too. http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/the-buzz-florida-politics/alan-graysons-wife-says-he-shoved-her/2168521

Also today, a caller to my office asked whether there was any need to report an incident of domestic violence because "the officer said it was just 'he said she said."'

Whenever I have a client who relates incidents of domestic abuse, threats or violence, my advice is as follows:

1. Call the police. If you call, there will be a record in the future that at least you sought help.
2. File for an Injunction. If there was a negative impact to your person, or a threat of harm in the future, ask the courts for an injunction.
3. Do not dismiss the injunction prior to hearing. Dismissal of an injunction is almost always used to show that there was NO VIOLENCE in the first place, also showing that you were not truthful.
4. Get the advice of an attorney. You are not prepared to represent yourself in a courtroom environment. An attorney should know the rules and procedures to maximize your case. An attorney may be able to offer solutions that prevent court hearings while protecting you from allegations of untruthfulness.
5. Do Not Touch another person negatively.
6. Do Not Yell.
7. Do Not Threaten.

If you have been the victim of abuse, or if you have been falsely accused of abuse,
Please Seek the Help of A Qualified Attorney.
I am available by phone at 407-645-3297, or you may visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
I look forward to meeting you and helping in your time of need.

What is Domestic Violence? Definitions Change!

Wow, that is a Loaded Question!
Years ago movies routinely included scenes of a woman becoming distraught and "needing" a slap on the face to "snap out of it."

Thankfully, we live in a different society! Physical violence to enforce your will is NEVER acceptable. Even Vladimir Putin said in a recent New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/) op-ed, "We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement." http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/putin-plea-for-caution-from-russia-on-syria.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Darrel Owens' article in today's Orlando Sentinel's detailed the 50 year marriage of Randy and Sharon Berridge. http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/columnists/orl-darrylowens,0,3266830.columnist
The title, "Couple so Happy Together after 50 years" is sweet enough, but a disturbing first three paragraphs detail the time Randy pulled the distributer cap out of the car to prevent his wife fleeing the marital home. While the very next line indicates the couple laughed about it, such action today might be considered Domestic Violence!
What a change in 50 years.

Wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) defines "Domestic Violence" as "a pattern of behavior" involving intimate or family relations taking many forms, "including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation. . . Domestic violence and abuse is not limited to obvious physical violence. Domestic violence can also mean endangerment, criminal coercion, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, trespassing, harassment, and stalking.^[5]"

The "Happy Couple" of yesterday fits the electronic world definition of Domestic Violence. Thankfully they were able to talk about their disagreements without resort to legal intervention.

Also thankfully, the limited story in the Sentinel might not meet the Florida Definition of Domestic Violence. The Florida Statutes define domestic Violence according to Section 741.28: Domestic Violence "means any assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another family or household member, and includes, in Section 741.402, a threat of these, regardless of whether they have been reported to law enforcement.  http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.28.html
http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.402.html

The Civilized Diplomatic and Political Settlement in areas of Family Law comes through Mediation and Collaboration. Collaborative Divorce removes threats by promoting reasoned analysis and solution.

If Domestic Violence is a part of your life and you want it to stop, call me at 407-645-3297. I may be able to help in ways you have yet to consider.

Please visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information and links regarding Divorce, Child Support, Alimony, Equitable Distribution, and many other topics. I am an Attorney, licensed in Florida, practicing in the areas of Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, and Guardianships. I have helped numerous husbands, wives and families seek a fresh start.

Adultery, Blasphemy, Christians and Divorce

A, B, C, D, E, F, G . . . elemenope . . . If only Life were as simple!

A client came to my office recently and told me that her "Christian" mother had called her an Adulterer and kicked her out of the house. We filed her divorce several weeks ago and she was living with her mother following domestic violence in her marital home. Unfortunately, her mother feels she should simply endure the violence because "what God hath brought together, let no man put asunder," to quote the traditional wedding vows blessing.

Blasphemy is defined as either an untruth or taking god's name in vane. I consider using "Christian" language in decidedly unchristian manner as a form of Blasphemy. Obviously her mother was referring to Matthew 5:31, 32 (It was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.)When someone says, "I want a Christian Attorney." I usually reply, "No you do not." or "I don't think you do." If you wanted a Christian Attorney, you would settle with your adversary far from the courthouse as Jesus himself instructed in other verses in Matthew. "If anyone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two." You can do your own research at https://www.bible.com/bible/100/mat.5.nasb

Christians sometimes tend to view Jesus' words as being important. They are, but must be placed in context of the Roman Empire and the Province of Judea where Jesus lived and taught. Roman law allowed a man to put away his wife by divorce for any reason. Women had no such right to seek a divorce as they were mere chattel to be bought or sold by their fathers. Men could divorce their wives, but women could not, even for domestic violence, adultery, neglect, abandonment, etc. Since Women were tied to their father, husband, or son, they were destitute without such patriarchal support.

Divorce has been around for more than 3,000 years, but a Woman's Right to sue for divorce is quite new. Today in Florida, the only reason needed for a marriage is "the Marriage is Irretrievably Broken." When a spouse physically abuses and violates his or her "true love" how can the marriage survive?

Every now and then I see a story in the news that makes me want to help. Some friends have put together a seminar on Domestic Violence. Associated Baptist Press reporter Bob Allen writes: American Baptist Women’s Ministries will lead an online “virtual mission encounter” on the topic of domestic violence Sept. 23-27.
“Garlands instead of Ashes: Domestic Violence” is the third of four learning opportunities in 2013 allowing women to meet online and share their passion for mission without the expense of travel and having to take time off work. http://www.abpnews.com/culture/social-issues/item/8786-domestic-violence-focus-of-virtual-tour#.UhYEYTbD-M8
No person should be forced to live with an abuser, and especially not for "Christian reasons."
 
If Domestic Violence is a part of your life and you want it to stop, call me at 407-645-3297. I may be able to help, even if I don't like the phrase "Christian Attorney." You can also visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information and links regarding Divorce, Child Support, Alimony, Equitable Distribution, and many other topics. I am an Attorney, licensed in Florida, practicing in the areas of Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, and Guardianships. I have helped numerous husbands and wives seek a fresh start.

Why Attorney's Try

I had a call today from a man who wants to see his child. Unfortunately, the last time the man saw his child, Police were taking him away to jail on charges of domestic violence. Three weeks later, should all be forgotten?

Sometimes it is better to take a little time to make sure a situation will not recur. Courts can and will use a Timesharing Parenting Plan to establish a routine for the child to ensure the parents have little opportunity to fight or argue.

Now why would an attorney say, "Wait one more week to see your child?"

Because, despite years of jokes and news items almost daily of attorneys acting in their own interests, many of us want to see children raised in the safest possible environment.
When domestic violence is present in the home, DCF, the Department of Children and Families can move in to take the children from the home and place them in foster care. I do not want any children taken by the state and placed in foster care. There are far too many for which this reality is unavoidable.

In cases where attorneys are involved from the start, many times unpleasantness can be avoided or minimized to prevent things escalating to a point where the State has an Obligation to Protect the children by removing them from the home.

If you find yourself in a violent home, call me at 407-645-3297, I will make every effort to assist you.

Visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ and learn more about me and the services provided by my firm.

WE PROTECT CHILDREN.

No child should have to see his or her parent harmed, especially by the other parent.

Busy Weeks! And this is Summer!

Wow, I have been very busy lately: All day trial as a Guardian Ad Litem; half day trial to a magistrate on Child Support Enforcement; half day trial on Domestic Violence to have an injunction disolved; meetings to establish guardianships for adults, children with developmental disablilities soon to be adults; meetings with clients arrested and charged under Arizona-law like immigration issues, and many meetings to figure out how to stop a Mortgage Foreclosure case where the Bank acted improperly.

As to Domestic Violence: Do Not Touch. If you find yourself in a situation where the other party refuses to listen, touching them will not help their ears to work! Sounds kind of funny, but is deadly serious. If you are touched without your consent, call the police, File a report, seek an injunction, tell the truth. When in court the judge asks if you ever argue with your spouse, remember, it takes two to tango, and argue. Its OK to disagree. Its not OK to force your partner to agree, listen, share, play, etc.

If you are owed child support, the Florida Department of Revenue will enforce your child support order. Inquire at the courthouse. Take your final judgment and child support order and Anna Tangel-Rodriguez will help you (in Orange County, Florida). If someone owes child support you are doing no favors by ignoring it. Driver's Licenses can be revoked, their right to work can be impacted, Tax Refunds can be seized, they can be sent to jail, but only if you let the court know of the missing child support. I meet people every week who are living hand to mouth because they don't want to be the bad guy enforcing child support. Your Children Deserve Better!

Guardianships can be very tricky, very costly, and very necessary. In fact, when guardianships are most needed they are usually most expensive. Acting early to intervene in your elder family member's life may save much heartache down the road. Taking action today can save many problems tomorrow. A Durable General Power of Attorney may obviate the need for a guardianship, saving substantial funds in the process.

Probate avoidance is not difficult with proper advice and representation. Updating beneficiary statements with the bank or insurance company can avoid probate saving thousands of dollars in fees. Transferring title to real estate while retaining a Life Estate or through the use of a "Lady Bird Deed" can help avoid probate as well. Call an attorney if you have questions.

I am available at 407-645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

What a Day!!! Domestic Violence is Not Acceptable

Sitting in Domestic Violence Court is NO FUN. For Anyone involved.

The Victim certainly doesn't enjoy it. Neither does the Perpetrator unless particularly masochistic and egotistical.

The Judge involved cringes at the stories told and worries about discerning the truth in the statements made by the petitioner and respondent.

The Attorneys seldom "enjoy" the experience; however, when you can help your client stop being victimized by their spouse or paramour, that is GOOD!!!