Collaborative Divorce for Unconventional Circumstances

Every marriage is unique. Logically, this means that every divorce is unique, even though they generally involve the same issues to settle, such as how the couple’s property is divided and how the couple with handle co-parenting after the divorce. There is no one-size-fits-all divorce method, and when couples try to force their divorces to fit specific molds, they often come away feeling frustrated and unsatisfied with their divorce settlement terms.

Collaborative divorce puts couples in the drivers’ seats of their divorces, rather than leaving the rulings that they will have to live with up to the court. Collaborative divorce is an especially attractive option for couples with unconventional circumstances and needs, such as business owners and those willing to try modern co-parenting arrangements like birdnesting.

You Know What is Best for your Children. Develop the Ideal Co-Parenting Plan for Them
There are many different ways to handle co-parenting after a divorce. When the court makes a co-parenting determination, it does so with the child’s best interest in mind. You might determine that your child’s best interests are served by a birdnesting agreement or another alternative timesharing arrangement. If you and your spouse agree to an unconventional parenting plan like incorporating boarding school or time with extended family, work together to include this in your collaborative divorce settlement.

Some Couples Live Together After their Divorces
For some couples, the idea of living with a former spouse is laughable. For others, it is necessary and even attractive. If you are considering remaining in the same household after your divorce, even if you are in different units of a multi-family property, it is important to take this into consideration when developing the terms of your divorce settlement. Remaining in close quarters after your divorce can make it easy to deviate from your property division settlement, so it is important that you are clear and in total agreement about this settlement before starting live as a cohabitating divorced couple.

Splitting Up or Reorganizing your Business is Easier when you are In Control
If you and your spouse owned a business together, valuing the business so it can be equitably divided between you is an important part of the divorce process. But what if you both want to continue operating the business? In a case like this, your interests will still have to be divided and you will continue the business operation as partners.
Even if you do not want to continue operating the business together, you will need to find a fair way to divide it. Whether one of you plans to continue operating it will determine how you divide it and its assets.

Work with an Experienced Winter Park Divorce Attorney
Contact The Law Offices of Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., PLLC today to set up your initial consultation with an experienced Winter Park divorce attorney. During your consultation, you can discuss your specific divorce goals and needs with Mr. Ducker to determine an appropriate plan for ending your marriage. Never assume that your ideal divorce is unattainable – it, or something close to it, could be very doable through collaborative divorce.
Resources:
nypost.com/2016/04/28/is-birdnesting-the-stupidest-or-smartest-divorce-trend-yet/
thebalance.com/business-valuation-methods-2948478

Working Out the Terms of your Spousal Support Agreement in a Collaborative Divorce

Spousal support, also known as alimony, is an issue that arises in many Florida divorces. It is the money one partner pays to the other after their divorce, generally for a fixed period of time but sometimes, until the receiving spouse remarries or either partner dies. This money is intended to help the spouse who opted out of the full-time workforce to care for the couple’s home and children during the marriage to avoid financial hardship.

 In a collaborative divorce, the divorcing couple works together to make their own determinations about their divorce settlement, rather than having the court make them. Alimony is often an issue discussed during collaborative divorces alongside parenting time and the division of the couple’s marital assets.

In Florida, you Can Waive your Right to Seek Spousal Support

Florida law permits individuals to waive their right to seek alimony in the event of their divorces in prenuptial agreements. This is not the case in all states.

 Just like a collaborative divorce, a prenuptial agreement requires a couple to be flexible and willing to work together to make determinations that benefit them both, even in unpleasant situations like divorce.

 Waiving Spousal Support in Exchange for a Larger Share of Marital Assets

 When you divorce through collaboration, rather than litigation, you and your spouse work together to reach a divorce agreement that best fits your needs. In any divorce, dividing your marital assets is a component of the final settlement and often, it is the largest component of the settlement. Talk about potentially opting out of alimony in exchange for a more favorable share of your marital assets with your spouse, but also with your lawyer privately – there could be issues you do not initially recognize, like large tax burdens associated with certain marital assets or the long-term impact of choosing not to create an alimony order.

Collaborative Divorce is All About Keeping Control of your Divorce

Couples who choose collaborative divorce are often more satisfied with the results of their divorces than couples who divorce through litigation.

If you took on lower-paying jobs or opted out of the workforce completely during your marriage, alimony is a way to protect your financial future. Do not confuse the need to be amicable in a collaborative divorce with a need to agree with everything your spouse suggests. If you feel alimony is in your best interest, explain this and support your position with relevant facts during your collaborative divorce meetings. Your lawyer is your advocate, but you also need to advocate for yourself.

Work with an Experienced Winter Park Divorce Lawyer

When you are considering divorce, you have a lot on your mind. Before you begin the collaborative divorce process, discuss these issues with your divorce lawyer so you begin the process educated about Florida’s divorce laws and what you can expect given your case’s unique circumstances. Contact The Law Offices of Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., P.L.C. today to schedule your initial consultation with us.

http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.079.html

 

Is Collaborative Divorce Better than Mediation?

Collaborative divorce and mediation are two forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that divorcing couples can use to complete the divorce process. One is not inherently “better” than the other, but one can be a better fit for your divorce. Which type of ADR is better for your divorce depends on your relationship with your spouse and the unique details of your marriage.

 Go into the divorce process with an open mind and do your research about your options. Work with your spouse to determine which divorce method is best for you – if you choose collaborative divorce, you will need to work cooperatively with him or her. You can determine if this is possible by seeing how well you can work together to determine the right divorce method for yourselves.

 How Mediation and Collaborative Divorce are Different

 Mediation and collaborative divorce both take place outside the courtroom. With both types of ADR, the divorcing couple maintains a high amount of control over their divorce.

 There are differences between the two, though. The primary difference between collaborative divorce and mediation is the absence of a mediator in a collaborative divorce. A mediator is a neutral third party who guides the divorcing couple toward their settlement, whereas with a collaborative divorce, the couple handles this process with their lawyers.

It Could be Better for your Divorce

 Whether collaborative divorce is better for your divorce than mediation depends largely on your ability to work cooperatively with your spouse. Although both divorce methods are less adversarial than a courtroom divorce, having a mediator present can lessen any lingering tension between a couple whereas in a collaborative divorce session, tension can leak into the couple’s interactions.

Whether collaborative divorce or mediation is better does not just depend on your personalities. Your level of knowledge about the divorce process can also determine whether you are better suited for one or the other. A mediator can explain each part of your settlement and how agreements are reached. He or she is a guide to divorce, whereas with a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse guide yourselves. Of course, you have a divorce lawyer no matter which type of divorce you choose, and your lawyer can answer any questions you have and provide you with the advice you need. But a mediator is an additional layer of professional advice and guidance, guidance that is meant to empower you and your spouse to make productive, fair choices about your divorce settlement.

 Work with an Experienced Winter Park Divorce Lawyer

 If you are considering a collaborative divorce, work with a divorce lawyer in Winter Park who has specific experience facilitating this type of divorce. Contact The Law Offices of Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., PLLC today to set up your initial consultation with Mr. Ducker. During your consultation, you can discuss your specific divorce concerns with him and have all your questions answered so you can move forward with your divorce as an informed participant.

 https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/alternative_dispute_resolution

Family Crisis Never Comes When Convenient

Family Crisis - Those words can strike fear in most adults.
A simple search of "Family Crisis, caring for the elderly" in the New York Times, www.nytimes.com finds numerous articles covering a wide range of options and alternative programs. http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/?action=click&contentCollection&region=TopBar&WT.nav=searchWidget&module=SearchSubmit&pgtype=Homepage#/family+crisis+caring+for+the+elderly/
So too, crisis within a family may take many forms.
Crisis may be in the form of Grandparents who suddenly have to take on raising their Grandchildren after years out of the Parental Melting Pot of School, Extracurricular endeavors like sports, dance, etc. http://www.nytimes.com/1997/03/30/nyregion/caring-for-the-grandchildren.html
Crisis may come from an accident or injury to a parent that suddenly makes them need care from their adult children.
Crisis may come from an adult child who suffers an injury and needs care.
Both of these situations may make Guardianship a necessary court intervention.

Of course, Interventions are by design adversarial, and Court Interventions are no less so.
The Court's process in a Guardianship begins with a "Petition to Determine Competence."
I doubt there is anything more harmful to family interaction than one family member going to court seeking to have the judge find another family member Incompetent.

Perhaps employing an Elder Care Specialist might be helpful. More than 4 years ago the times reported shortages in this area. http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/20/a-missed-opportunity-to-recruit-specialists-in-elder-care/

Typically, the adult children have been helping "Mom or Dad" in various ways and in varying amounts over many weeks, months or even years. One child takes them to the doctor, the pharmacist, and to lunch every Saturday. One Child does all their banking, making sure the doctor is paid, the pharmacist is paid and the credit cards are all paid. One child calls every day, hears about the trip to the doctor, the trip to the pharmacist, and even hears all about the luncheon on Saturday. Each child feels they are doing a lot, and all feel Mom and Dad need their help for this, that or the other task. Eventually, one child decides "something must be done" to either spread the burden of care, or establish authority for care, or once and for all to affirm to everyone else that "I am in charge!"

Sometimes people have to take time off of work. Many people still think Family Medical Leave Act provides payment for these "job vacations." Not true. What to do? http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/12/17/a-way-to-stay-on-the-job/?_r=0

At this point it is important to know that a Guardianship can be expensive. The legislature requires that people must be represented by an attorney in Guardianship Proceedings. This includes any individual seeking to become the Guardian, as well as any other party who wants to be involved in the process. Additionally, the Proposed Ward must be represented by an independent attorney, known as an Attorney Elisor, to protect the Proposed Ward's interests; after all, this proceeding may remove substantial rights of citizenship including the right to vote, the right to marry, the right to decide where and with whom to live, etc.

The Court will appoint 3 people to evaluate the Proposed Ward, including two doctors and one "layperson" with experience in evaluations of Alzheimer's, Dementia or Eldercare. These must be paid and must complete their evaluation in a timely manner, usually within about 30-60 days of appointment. Occasionally, these people meet with delays in completing their evaluations, and like all things in the legal world, delays may require additional time and fees.

Sometimes Family Crisis comes from Divorce. Other times the crisis comes from assets being hidden or bank accounts being frozen by the courts or by opposing parties. Even though they look similar, Financial abuse of the elderly can be a serious crime, but may simply be Medicaid Planning in a thought out (if not talked out) process.

What Family Crisis are You Facing today? Do you need help? If you have all the answers, please let the rest of us know. If you would like to discuss some collaborative, creative or essential solutions to a Family Crisis, call me, at 407-645-3297.  Or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
Thanks!

How Expensive Is a Divorce?

For some, VERY Expensive.
An Alimony check made out for $974,790,317.77 seems a little high. When you consider the man writing the check has a net worth of more than $8 Billion, well, lets just say they are still in court!

You can read about it here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2015/01/08/harold-hamms-975-million-uncashed-divorce-check-how-about-deducting-it/

You can even learn a little about taxes and Divorce Settlements here:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2014/11/11/harold-hamms-billion-dollar-divorce-and-the-irs/2/

In reality, a Divorce can be expensive or cheap, depending upon your desires. If you seek maximum conflict, then expensive it is. If you want years of legal wrangling, go with cheap.

My office strives for efficiently extricating clients from difficulties. We want to prevent problems next year by doing the hard work now. Many times, clients see their dreams realized by selecting Collaborative Divorce and making their own decisions.

Where there are High Assets, people may want to limit their exposure to the public and to continuing attorneys fees and court costs. Collaboration is the way to go.

Visit my website to learn more: www.aubreylaw.com
or simply pick up the phone and call 407-645-3297.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Congratulations to Commissioner Robert Stuart

After taking the month of May off from writing my blog, I thought it was important to note the swearing in of Robert Stuart as Commissioner of Orlando.

Robert is a dear friend, a trusted adviser, an excellent city commissioner, and my Sunday School teacher at College Park Baptist Church. Monday's swearing in ceremony at Orlando’s City Hall begins another four years of service for Robert, on top of his last eight years as Commissioner of Orlando's District 3.

Additionally, Robert has served as the executive director of the Christian Service Center for more than 20 years.

 

What is Domestic Violence? Definitions Change!

Wow, that is a Loaded Question!
Years ago movies routinely included scenes of a woman becoming distraught and "needing" a slap on the face to "snap out of it."

Thankfully, we live in a different society! Physical violence to enforce your will is NEVER acceptable. Even Vladimir Putin said in a recent New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/) op-ed, "We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement." http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/putin-plea-for-caution-from-russia-on-syria.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Darrel Owens' article in today's Orlando Sentinel's detailed the 50 year marriage of Randy and Sharon Berridge. http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/columnists/orl-darrylowens,0,3266830.columnist
The title, "Couple so Happy Together after 50 years" is sweet enough, but a disturbing first three paragraphs detail the time Randy pulled the distributer cap out of the car to prevent his wife fleeing the marital home. While the very next line indicates the couple laughed about it, such action today might be considered Domestic Violence!
What a change in 50 years.

Wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) defines "Domestic Violence" as "a pattern of behavior" involving intimate or family relations taking many forms, "including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation. . . Domestic violence and abuse is not limited to obvious physical violence. Domestic violence can also mean endangerment, criminal coercion, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, trespassing, harassment, and stalking.^[5]"

The "Happy Couple" of yesterday fits the electronic world definition of Domestic Violence. Thankfully they were able to talk about their disagreements without resort to legal intervention.

Also thankfully, the limited story in the Sentinel might not meet the Florida Definition of Domestic Violence. The Florida Statutes define domestic Violence according to Section 741.28: Domestic Violence "means any assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another family or household member, and includes, in Section 741.402, a threat of these, regardless of whether they have been reported to law enforcement.  http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.28.html
http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.402.html

The Civilized Diplomatic and Political Settlement in areas of Family Law comes through Mediation and Collaboration. Collaborative Divorce removes threats by promoting reasoned analysis and solution.

If Domestic Violence is a part of your life and you want it to stop, call me at 407-645-3297. I may be able to help in ways you have yet to consider.

Please visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information and links regarding Divorce, Child Support, Alimony, Equitable Distribution, and many other topics. I am an Attorney, licensed in Florida, practicing in the areas of Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, and Guardianships. I have helped numerous husbands, wives and families seek a fresh start.

Frequently Asked Questions: Mortgage Modification Mediation

For the past year, I have been involved in a company which trains attorneys to defend Foreclosures through Bankruptcy and the Mortgage Modification Process.

While normally mediations in foreclosure proceedings are not very successful, (less than 5 percent result in loan modifications or the owner being able to remain in the home) we have seen great success through a relatively new bankruptcy court proceedure requiring Mediation. In the Orlando area,  more than 70 percent of homeowners have been able to modify their mortgages and keep their homes through this program.

Yes, you read that correctly, higher than 70 % success rate through Mortgage Mediation in Bankruptcy in the Orlando Division of the Middle District of Florida!

While the program is taylored toward bankruptcy, any attorney can benefit from the training provided. To learn more, visit www.mortgagemodificationeducation.com or call me at 407-645-3297.

Now for those FAQs:

Do I have to file bankruptcy to save my home? No, but you must not rule out this alternative.
Why do the banks make it so hard to get a modification? Banks and their underwriters have VERY STRICT Guidelines to qualify a home mortgage for modification.
Why does the bank want to foreclose my home?  The bank DOES NOT WANT YOUR HOME. The bank wants a PERFORMING LOAN. In fact the bank must meet very specific guidelines once the foreclosure is completed in selling the home which results in significant lost value. For this reason, banks attorneys are very reluctant to move foreward with the foreclosure and will even resist completing the foreclosure on anything other than their own timeframe.
Is it too late to save my home? Not if the Foreclosure is still pending. However, once the home is sold at auction, and title is issued by the court, you probably cannot save the home. However, you may be allowed to negotiate your leaving on favorable terms with the new owner.
Should I hire an attorney to represent me? Yes, but be very careful that the attorney is familiar with the Mortgage Mediation Program of the Bankruptcy Court. Avoid simple Foreclosure Defenses as they seldom result in Modification of the Mortgage allowing you to remain in the home.

For additional information, visit www.mortgagemodificationeducation.com my website at www.aubreylaw.com or call me at 407-645-3297.

I look forward to speaking with you! Aubrey

Looking for Family Law Attorney

How do you find a Family Law Attorney in the Orlando area?

Most people search Google, Findlaw or bing.com. My last post was more than 6 months ago, and I thought I'd try a little experiment. If you click on my link, www.aubreylaw.com or send me an email telling me you read this, I will respond with a summer special offer. My email is aubrey@aubreylaw.com

Let me know how I'm doing!

Chase Bank and SunTrust are making me happy these days. Their Customer Service has improved greatly. Who knows other than those that read my blog?
I have committed to telling people of good customer service when it impacts my life.
Tijuana Flats is surprisingly customer friendly. What other businesses impress you through Outstanding Customer Service?

Great Article on Collaborative Divorce

Occasionally, I like to post links to articles worth reading. This is one: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lynn-j-maier-esq/saving-your-sanity-with-c_b_1077335.html

When divorce is the choice, how you go about it matters. Collaborative Divorce is a method of practice that allows the parties, with the help of their attorneys and other professionals, to decide all issues in ways that benefit their family rather than fighting until a court decides in a manner consistent with the thousands of cases also fighting to a decision.

Don't you know what is best for your family? Collaborative Divorce allows you to play a major part in the decision making process. More so that even mediation.

When you need help, Call me! 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Guardianship, Conservatorship and Rights

The Orange County Bar Association, Solo and Small Firm Committee met in Orlando today to discuss Basic Guardianships. I always enjoy a refresher course, so I attended. Wow! OK, so I knew most of this, but its nice to meet other attorneys for lunch and have an excuse to add a refresher to my Blog.

In Florida, any adult can file a Petition to Determine Incapacity against any other adult. This is coupled with a Petition to Appoint Guardian so the Alleged Incapacitated Person, or Proposed Ward, can be protected. But Protected from what?

As we age, our brains may not function correctly in all instances. Sometimes, Alzheimers, Dememtia, stroke or other disease may render one incapable of understanding the dangers of everyday living. When a person is incapacitated so they are a danger to themselves, the court can step in and remove some of their rights in order to protect them from self-inflicted harm. The harm may be physical in nature, or financial.

Many people try to take advantage of these normal aging processes and financially exploit seniors. Sometimes even family is guilty of exploitation. In fact, Many times the person being exploited is a close relation to the abuser. Financial exploitation IS ABUSE!

Once the Petition is filed, the court appoints a 3-person committee to evaluated the "Proposed Ward," or "Allegedly Incapacitate Person" to determine whether the AIP is competent to make life decisions. The 3 person "Examining Committee" includes two doctors and one layperson with experience in Elder Affairs. Llife decisions that may be impaired by the court include such major decisions as voting, marriage, living arrangements, donations to religious organizations, medications, surgeries. No less important are decisions involving who may visit the ward or where the ward may travel with visitors.

The Court also appoints an Attorney Ad Litem to represent the AIP or Proposed Ward. Sometimes the AIP has a longstanding relationship with an attorney who will represent him in the proceedings. Either way, the Proposed Ward is protected so that rights are only removed to the most limited extent necessary to protect the Ward. Often the Proposed Ward will have completed a Durable Power of Attorney that obviates the need of a Guardianship proceeding; a Preneed Guardianship is also available to help lower the cost of eventual Guardianship Proceedings.

If you have a Power of Attorney, it must be Durable in order to continue operation once a person is found to be incapacitated or what we think of as incompetent. If you thought everything was honky dorey, then watch out! Powers of Attorney come in many shapes and sizes and can even be purchased at Home Depot, Lowes, OfficeMax, Target and Walmart. They are NOT all the same. They are Legal Documents that include required formalities in the signing. I have had more than one client who brought a "Durable Power of Attorney" that was improper and ineffective. People have signed in the wrong space, forgotten to notarize signatures, "checked" the wrong box, and even paid an attorney for a "Durable" power of attorney which expired at incapacity. Please seek help in evaluating your needs.

If you have read this far, you may wonder what all these protections cost. A Durable Power of Attorney is certainly the least expensive.
Guardianships may cost between $1,500 minimum and several tens of thousands when competing interests are active in contesting the Guardianship. The filing fees alone are more than $600. Payment for the Examining Committee (between $850 and $1,500) and Attorney Ad Litem (between $500 and $5,000) make the process appear expensive to some. When you consider that a person is potentially losing their rights as a citizen, you may better understand the expense. Obviously your selection of an attorney is one critical factor in controlling these costs and making the necessary legal filings as efficient as possible.

When you have questions about the competence of your parents or elderly neighbors, Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

I didn't mean to Scare you!

"Congratulations, you are officially Divorced!" I said to my client.

"Thank you, you are Awesome," she said. (Really, that is what she said!)

"I am so glad we were able to get this done so quickly," I replied.

"Well after you scared me that first day, I did not have any unrealistic expectations and we could just get it done."

I really did not mean to Scare my client. I have always prided myself on being direct and honest with clients so they know what to expect from the Divorce Process and from the court system. I really don't want to scare anyone. Sometimes, clients come in my door having talked to not only other lawyers, but to friends and family who "know what to expect" and know "all the tricks in the book." Unfortunately, what is heard from your friend about their divorce may be colored and biased by their experience. They may feel the need to project unusual success or even put upon martyrdom. All the stories may in fact NOT be completely true.

Common myths include:

"My divorce only cost $250."

"I didn't have to pay a penny in alimony/child support."

"My wife/husband got the kids, the house, and all my money."

"My husband/wife tried to get the kids just to force me to settle for less."

"I never get to see my kid's, their father/mother keeps them from me."

"My divorce cost us more than $100,000."

"Our attorneys were the only ones happy after our Final Judgment."

When your friends tell you these things, you really have to ask more questions and compare their life experience and marriage to your own before setting up your expectations.

Divorce filings cost $408.00 in all Florida courts. What your attorney charges is determined by many factors including time, experience, complexity, and most importantly, who is on the other side of the litigation.

Whether you have to pay Alimony or Child Support is entirely driven by the family situation inlcuding many different factors: length of marriage; number of children; earning ability of each party; lifestyle, and most importantly, what you are willing to accept or pay, just to name a few.

Negotiation over child custody, what we now refer to as "Timesharing," is remarkably direct. Who is best able to care for and keep the children? Who has done so consistently in the past? When one parent wants to "claim the children" as a negotiation ploy, it is imperative that the court be fully informed. A Guardian Ad Litem or GAL is essential to fully inform the court and make sure the children are represented both at the bargaining table of Mediation or in court. Parents who would use the children as pawns in a game, are not good parents, and GAL's are adept as seeing through people's behaviors to their motivations and goals.

If your divorce costs too much money, ask yourself who is causing the excess expenses? Even the most complex divorce can be handled in a reasonable amount of time and for a reasonable fee by seeking out attorneys who do not set up unreasonable expectations which must then be met or attempted. Collaborative Divorce is a great idea for those with very complex situations as it brings all decision makers to the table routinely, rather than filing, and waiting, and responding and waiting, and hearing, and waiting, etc.

If you have questions regarding Divorce, Child Support, Collaborative Divorce, Alimony, Spousal Support, Custody, Timesharing or any other Family Law matter, please visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or call me at 407-645-5264. I will be happy to review your situation with you and most of all, I will try not to "scare" you! Aubrey

Cutthroat Legal Practice

When I hear of a "Cutthroat Attorney," I wonder, "who asked for that?" Admission to the Florida Bar requires an Oath, which states in part, "I will abstain from all offensive personality . . . unless required by the justice of the cause with which I am charged." Its possible you have heard stories of lawyers who need to review this oath again, perhaps daily.

Why people in court would want "the meanest, nastiest attorney they can find" escapes me. If you are known by the company you keep, well, lets just say, I prefer to keep company with the very best people around.

I have known attorneys who were easy to work with, and I have known lawyers who could not agree the sky is blue. Those who are easy to work with, I routinely mention to clients I am unable to assist. Attorneys who cannot agree on anything, I trust can survive without my assistance.

The meanest, nastiest attorneys tend to drive up litigation costs without significant benefit to their clients, while those attorneys who work with the other side and try to resolve conflicts tend to help their clients through the litigation process. We have all heard stories of divorces costing more than 20 or 30 THOUSAND dollars. I truly believe "Who wins" is NOT really as important as "If or Where" your children attend college.

Attorneys who know how to work with opposing counsel tend to achieve better results overall whether through settlement or in trial, in my humble opinion. Some of the most aggressive litigators in the Orlando area have been the easiest to work with when their clients have modest means. That is to say, even the nastiest attorneys can agree when they are not being paid well. I find this disappointing. If the client's goals are reasonable, why should the litigation change based on the attorney's paycheck?

Perhaps I am being obtuse. I think a fair price for an honest days work should be everyone's goal.

If you need an attorney, call me. 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Thankfulness is Appreciated

I received a Thank you Note several years ago which said:

Each and every day . . . I am more and more astonished that I have found such a perfect place to work.

I've had to work at a few horrible jobs and tolerate a few terrible bosses throughout the years . . .

I've also had wonderful jobs and caring employers, but . . .

it is the rare thing to find a place where one feels respected, understood, trusted and appreciated.

It is even more unusual to find a place where I can be myself and still be accepted.

Truly extraordinary is to have all those things and more, and enjoy the work, as well.

I just wanted you to know that I am happier here than I have been at any job . . . ever.

I just wanted you to know . . .
that I know how fortunate I am and that I am grateful . . . for everything.

Obviously, this came from an employee. She was with me for more than three years and I always appreciated her hard work, although I probably never said "Thank you" enough.

I am trying to thank all my clients, especially those who so frequently call me to refer a friend. It is a dear compliment to have one client refer more clients. I am always thrilled when my mentors,other attorney friends and even judges refer business my way; this lets me know they think highly of my work and are willing to trust their friends and family to my care.

I am truly blessed with wonderful friends. Thank you.

If we haven't spoken in a while, call me at 407-645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

International Travel with Children

Who wants to go to France? How about South Africa? Dubai? The Bahamas? Are you Divorced? Sharing time with your child?

Consider: A client living in Orlando, wants to take her three young children to the Bahama's for the weekend. Its her visitation weekend, does she have to tell their Father? Does she have to get consent or permission? Can he say NO!

International travel with children can be a Problem if both Parents do not consent or approve the travel.

Really, how many parents would abduct their children and take them to a foreign country? Even one is too many.

The Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program, CPIAP, is very helpful.

As the New York Times reported, many countries require notarized written permission of the other parent when traveling alone with a child.

The Department of State, http://travel.state.gov/ has great information for keeping your child safe.

www.myfamilytravels.com is also a great site for information helpful to traveling families.

Welcome Back

Recently someone said, "Aubrey Ducker, why haven't you updated your blog in a while?"

She continued, "I was looking forward to your answer to a Family Law Question! What happens when a child decides she wants to go live with her father? I have been taking care of her for the past 8 years, without any help! Now that she is 12, her father is encouraging her to stay at his house more and more. He gives her everything she wants and I'm the one who has to make her do homework, study for tests, clean her room, etc. . . "

You can see where that is going! If only children would remain under our control and direction! Unfortunately, they decide right or wrong that they want to decide what is "best for them" rather than listening to some old people who didn't even have facebook when they were young. Have you been through this? I have! With my own children and with many, many clients!

It is never fun to lose control!

Then there are the Elder Law questions: How can I make sure my children don't argue about who gets what? That question is so much better than the corallary promise, "My children won't argue about it. They would never go to court to challenge ___________________as the Personal Representative."

Funny how many times I hear that and how many times I see adult children wanting nothing more than to "tell it to the Judge" regarding the actions of their sibling as Power of Attorney or Personal Representative.

Talk about losing control.

You may have read in the papers, (do you actually read the Newspaper anymore?) the Florida Legislature is trying to balance the budget by cutting into court funding. Removing funding for the Guardian Ad Litem program and other "services" that to legislators seem "unnecessary" is no way to protect the bottom line in Florida. The services being cut may save a few dollars this year, but in the years to come, those savings will be offset by enormous costs associated with unmet needs in disfunctional families. The results may be increased incidence of domestic violence, child abuse, neglect or more violent crimes.

Please encourage your representatives to look to fair funding principles. When corporations like GE have NET profits in the range of $14.7 Billion, and pay less than 1 million in taxes, something in the tax structure is way out of whack. Cutting spending to make the budget work, while corporations pay next to nothing in taxes harms all citizens, especially the most vulnerable. Maybe I should write more often so I could break this up into several Blog posts. I'll try that next time.

Peace.

"Specializing In" or One of Many Practice Areas: Selecting an Attorney

When you see an attorney advertising on TV or Billboards, what do you think?

Advertising has been a special problem for attorneys for decades. The First Amendment guarantees "Free Speech" but Bar Associations such as The Florida Bar place significant restrictions on what an attorney can say, when and to whom.

One area of concern to the bar is the "Specialist" or advertising an area of practice with "Specializing In" stated. For an attorney, becoming a "Specialist" means being Certified by the Florida Bar. To be certified, an attorney must devote more than 50% of practice for the previous 5 years to the given area. In Family Law, to advertise as Specializing in Family Law, the attorney must devote the Majority of practice to family law, pass a separate test in Family law, and must have at least two major hearings or trials per year to maintain proficiency.

To advertize "Specializing in Elder Law", one must be "Certified in Practice", devote the Majority of Practice to Elder Law, Pass a difficult test in addition to the Bar Exam, and devote many hours to continuing Legal Education in the area of Elder Law.

From reading this you see how it is virtually impossible to be a specialist in Family law and Elder Law at the same time.

My Practice focuses on both Family Law and Elder Law, but I am not a "Specialist." I devote about 1/2 my practice to each area, but cannot sit for either exam due to my significant practice in both areas. Additionally, Mediation and settlement of most Family Law matters prevents me from going to Trial in the requisite number of cases each year.

My practice is all about helping people and I enjoy my practice. While I'd like to be a "Specialist", for now, I will have to be happy serving my clients needs to the best of my abilities and let their referrals indicate whether I am fulfilling my calling.

If you need help with a family law matter or elder law matter, visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ or call me at 407-645-3297. I will be happy to assist you. Aubrey

Litigation Management or Mediation Solution

A trial in Divorce Court is not pleasant. In Florida, we have "No Fault" divorces. Nobody gets to tell their side to the judge in hopes of a "win" where fault is not at issue.

He had an affair. She spent our nest egg. He gambled away our retirement. She drank too much. He was not supportive of her career. She wouldn't get a job after the kids went to school. She wouldn't pick up the dirty laundry off the bathroom floor. He left a mess in the kitchen every night.

I have heard a LOT of Excuses for Divorce. There are many good reasons, but sometimes the excuses feel better. Unfortunately, the court doesn't have time or interest in solving all these issues and assigning blame.

The Court's concern is summed up in PEACE:

Parenting: ususally shared. Which parent will have a majority of timeshare with the children?

Equitable Distribution: All the assets and liabilities acquired during the marriage have to be divided between the parties. That includes all retirement accounts, as well as any retirement benefits earned. Houses, cars and investments are legitimate negotiation points; however, furniture and fluff can cause too much litigation. I once spent an hour in mediation to divide a big screen TV. The mediator and two attorneys cost 850 for that hour, more than half the cost of a new TV. In the end, the TV was damaged when turned over and even more litigation ensued.

Alimony: In Florida, normally, we have short term, and long term marriages. Long term get alimony, short term do not. There are also "gray area" marriages which may or may not result in Permanent Alimony depending on several factors listed in the statutes.

Child Support: Once Alimony is awarded, child support is calculated based on the combined income of the parties. A mathmatical formula establishes how much child support will be paid. Negotiation of this amount is possible, but many judges want factual calculations and will award that amount regardless of settlement agreements because child support is the CHILD's interest and should not be waived by one or the other parent.

Everything Else: Attorney's fees. Costs. Mediation Fees. Etc. Anything that doesn't fit in the first 4 categories falls here. Sometimes agreeing to pay a set amount for Attorney's fees is preferrable to having a trial and paying many times the amount to "Win" in court.

PEACE Possible In Divorce!

Call me at 407-645-3297, or just visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

PEACE is within reach!

Safe Driving for Seniors

Driving gets harder as you age. Reflexes are not as fast, hearing and eyesight begin to deteriorate.

Then again, experience makes older drivers less likely to take risks, such as driving too fast in the rain, or following too closely.

What do you do when Dad needs to stop driving? Concern is common among adult children of "experienced" drivers. Aging parents continue to drive as they have for years. Just bringing up driving restrictions may seem to overstep boundaries. How does a 50 year old tell a 70 year old what is acceptable?

Sometimes just resisting driving at night or during rush hour can alleviate most concerns. Unfortunately, it may be hard for children to identify and correct potentially dangerous behavior.

A real concern appears when Mom begins to "forget" where she is going, how to get there, or worse, how to get home. When Alzheimers and dementia begin, driving may be the first clue. Does Dad seem lost behind the wheel? Does Mom need constant direction to keep her going the right way?

For help with these questions and more, call an attorney who practices in Elder Law. Choosing the right attorney is paramount to making a smooth transition from driving to caring for your aging parents.

If you have questions, Call me, 407-645-3297, or visit my website, www.floridaguardianattorney.com You will be glad you asked.

Durable Power of Attorney

Do you have one? Do you need one? Who has access to YOUR MONEY?

I asked these questions at a seminar today with the Boost Your Brain Program of the Crosby YMCA Wellness Center in Winter Park. Meeting with 41 Y members allows me to meet new potential clients. It also allows me to hear what questions concern them most. Many questions begin with either "my friend" or "my parent" and relate particular issues being dealt with daily. They continue asking "is doing this, that or the other thing OK?" In a seminar setting I can answer general questions common to many caregivers in a minimum of time by comparison to an office consultation. The information passed out to a large group is by nature very general and may apply in peculier ways to any given set of circumstances.

More complex questions are best answered in the office during a personal consultation session. One persons actions with regard to care and keeping may differ radically from another person's situation. If you have questions, Call an Attorney. We are here to help. Many times a question over the phone can prevent major complications that could impact Medicaid Qualifiation, Taxes, Inheritance, Probate, Guardianship, etc.

A few of the members had questions regarding how to pay bills when sharing a residence with their mother, brother, etc. Dividing bills and paying 1/2 to the other person may seem reasonable today, but when the IRS audits your taxes, or when applying for medicaid, or when going through Probate administration, the answers may radically alter treatment in the individual case.

Bottom Line: Ask the question of a professional. Do not depend on the advice given to a friend by their former whatever. Be Careful out there! And I am Proud of You!