Is Collaborative Divorce Better than Mediation?

Collaborative divorce and mediation are two forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that divorcing couples can use to complete the divorce process. One is not inherently “better” than the other, but one can be a better fit for your divorce. Which type of ADR is better for your divorce depends on your relationship with your spouse and the unique details of your marriage.

 Go into the divorce process with an open mind and do your research about your options. Work with your spouse to determine which divorce method is best for you – if you choose collaborative divorce, you will need to work cooperatively with him or her. You can determine if this is possible by seeing how well you can work together to determine the right divorce method for yourselves.

 How Mediation and Collaborative Divorce are Different

 Mediation and collaborative divorce both take place outside the courtroom. With both types of ADR, the divorcing couple maintains a high amount of control over their divorce.

 There are differences between the two, though. The primary difference between collaborative divorce and mediation is the absence of a mediator in a collaborative divorce. A mediator is a neutral third party who guides the divorcing couple toward their settlement, whereas with a collaborative divorce, the couple handles this process with their lawyers.

It Could be Better for your Divorce

 Whether collaborative divorce is better for your divorce than mediation depends largely on your ability to work cooperatively with your spouse. Although both divorce methods are less adversarial than a courtroom divorce, having a mediator present can lessen any lingering tension between a couple whereas in a collaborative divorce session, tension can leak into the couple’s interactions.

Whether collaborative divorce or mediation is better does not just depend on your personalities. Your level of knowledge about the divorce process can also determine whether you are better suited for one or the other. A mediator can explain each part of your settlement and how agreements are reached. He or she is a guide to divorce, whereas with a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse guide yourselves. Of course, you have a divorce lawyer no matter which type of divorce you choose, and your lawyer can answer any questions you have and provide you with the advice you need. But a mediator is an additional layer of professional advice and guidance, guidance that is meant to empower you and your spouse to make productive, fair choices about your divorce settlement.

 Work with an Experienced Winter Park Divorce Lawyer

 If you are considering a collaborative divorce, work with a divorce lawyer in Winter Park who has specific experience facilitating this type of divorce. Contact The Law Offices of Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., PLLC today to set up your initial consultation with Mr. Ducker. During your consultation, you can discuss your specific divorce concerns with him and have all your questions answered so you can move forward with your divorce as an informed participant.

 https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/alternative_dispute_resolution

Ashley Madison Matters, Even in a No Fault State

Advertising online for an affair:

Life is short. Have an affair.

News came out this week that the Hackers who cracked the Ashley Madison Website http://www.ashleymadison.com
 had dumped all the data.

The Ashley Madison hack includes customer names, credit card data, physical addresses and sexual preferences. Some users were smart enough to use fake names. But financial data is legitimate.

Well thanks to CNN Money, you can find out Why Spouses Cheat: http://money.cnn.com/video/technology/2015/07/20/why-your-spouse-cheats.cnnmoney?iid=EL

You can read the online report here:
http://money.cnn.com/2015/08/19/technology/ashley-madison-search/index.html

Actually CNN Money is not posting the link, but if you really want to search, several other sites included searchable links including the New York Daily News: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/check-email-part-ashley-madison-hack-article-1.2331250

IBTimes: http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/ashley-madison-hack-how-search-adultery-website-data-leak-see-if-your-details-are-there-1516183

and of course, Wired.com: http://www.wired.com/2015/08/check-loved-one-exposed-ashley-madison-hack/

As Jennifer Weiner of the New York Times said, "I can’t believe I’m paying the salaries of government workers who weren’t clever enough to get new emails to deceive their spouses." http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/20/opinion/the-ashley-madison-hack-shows-were-too-dumb-to-cheat.html?_r=0

Lets all just take a step back. Florida is a No-Fault State. So why does it matter if your spouse was playing around or surfing Ashley Madison's directory?

For starters the paternalistic legislature years ago included Adultery as a FACTOR for calculating and awarding Alimony. No Wonder the Legislature now wants to do away with Permanent Alimony.

Under the Florida Statutes, if a person seeks alimony but dissipated marital assets to have an affair, the alimony claim may be lessened, or negated altogether.  Here is what statute section 61.08 actually says: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.08.html

"The court may consider the adultery of either spouse and the circumstances thereof in determining the amount of alimony, if any, to be awarded."

This is in the middle of the FIRST paragraph on alimony.

This little sentence is followed by requirements for the court to first evaluate Need  of the one seeking Alimony; the court must also find the Payor has the Ability to Pay.

Once the court finds Need and Ability to Pay, the court has to determine the appropriate alimony award using another TEN Factors.

The TEN Factors must be evaluated across the several types of alimony available including, Permanent, Durational, Bridge-the-gap, and Rehabilitative. The court may also award Lump Sum Alimony from assets used for Equitable Distribution.

Unfortunately, most people read the little paragraph about Adultery as a VETO of Alimony. Not really the case. Over the many years since the statutes were enacted, many changes have come both from the legislature and from courts.

When you have concerns, seek advice from a trusted legal professional. Ask an attorney you trust how the court might view your unique situation.

Most of all, if you are married, stay off Ashley Madison and similar sites.

Call me at 407-645-3297 when you have questions. You can also visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Peace!