Family Crisis Never Comes When Convenient

Family Crisis - Those words can strike fear in most adults.
A simple search of "Family Crisis, caring for the elderly" in the New York Times, www.nytimes.com finds numerous articles covering a wide range of options and alternative programs. http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/?action=click&contentCollection&region=TopBar&WT.nav=searchWidget&module=SearchSubmit&pgtype=Homepage#/family+crisis+caring+for+the+elderly/
So too, crisis within a family may take many forms.
Crisis may be in the form of Grandparents who suddenly have to take on raising their Grandchildren after years out of the Parental Melting Pot of School, Extracurricular endeavors like sports, dance, etc. http://www.nytimes.com/1997/03/30/nyregion/caring-for-the-grandchildren.html
Crisis may come from an accident or injury to a parent that suddenly makes them need care from their adult children.
Crisis may come from an adult child who suffers an injury and needs care.
Both of these situations may make Guardianship a necessary court intervention.

Of course, Interventions are by design adversarial, and Court Interventions are no less so.
The Court's process in a Guardianship begins with a "Petition to Determine Competence."
I doubt there is anything more harmful to family interaction than one family member going to court seeking to have the judge find another family member Incompetent.

Perhaps employing an Elder Care Specialist might be helpful. More than 4 years ago the times reported shortages in this area. http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/20/a-missed-opportunity-to-recruit-specialists-in-elder-care/

Typically, the adult children have been helping "Mom or Dad" in various ways and in varying amounts over many weeks, months or even years. One child takes them to the doctor, the pharmacist, and to lunch every Saturday. One Child does all their banking, making sure the doctor is paid, the pharmacist is paid and the credit cards are all paid. One child calls every day, hears about the trip to the doctor, the trip to the pharmacist, and even hears all about the luncheon on Saturday. Each child feels they are doing a lot, and all feel Mom and Dad need their help for this, that or the other task. Eventually, one child decides "something must be done" to either spread the burden of care, or establish authority for care, or once and for all to affirm to everyone else that "I am in charge!"

Sometimes people have to take time off of work. Many people still think Family Medical Leave Act provides payment for these "job vacations." Not true. What to do? http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/12/17/a-way-to-stay-on-the-job/?_r=0

At this point it is important to know that a Guardianship can be expensive. The legislature requires that people must be represented by an attorney in Guardianship Proceedings. This includes any individual seeking to become the Guardian, as well as any other party who wants to be involved in the process. Additionally, the Proposed Ward must be represented by an independent attorney, known as an Attorney Elisor, to protect the Proposed Ward's interests; after all, this proceeding may remove substantial rights of citizenship including the right to vote, the right to marry, the right to decide where and with whom to live, etc.

The Court will appoint 3 people to evaluate the Proposed Ward, including two doctors and one "layperson" with experience in evaluations of Alzheimer's, Dementia or Eldercare. These must be paid and must complete their evaluation in a timely manner, usually within about 30-60 days of appointment. Occasionally, these people meet with delays in completing their evaluations, and like all things in the legal world, delays may require additional time and fees.

Sometimes Family Crisis comes from Divorce. Other times the crisis comes from assets being hidden or bank accounts being frozen by the courts or by opposing parties. Even though they look similar, Financial abuse of the elderly can be a serious crime, but may simply be Medicaid Planning in a thought out (if not talked out) process.

What Family Crisis are You Facing today? Do you need help? If you have all the answers, please let the rest of us know. If you would like to discuss some collaborative, creative or essential solutions to a Family Crisis, call me, at 407-645-3297.  Or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
Thanks!

Boys will be Boys is Demeaning to Men

http://www.buzzfeed.com/inesalmeida/top-21-viral-memes-about-boys-a-must-read-for-any-hixz

When we teach our children outdated gender roles of Masculine and Feminine stereotypes in the home and at work, we are teaching them that people are Different. But what are we really teaching them?

When we say, "Boys will be boys" are we excusing inappropriate behavior and setting up problems in adulthood?

Numerous stories could be written about the entitled masses taking advantage of those less fortunate.
I'd like to take this time to use a different tactic. Boys don't have to be boys and many can choose to be men of honor.

Thankfully, I have a friend in Dave Harding. He is the captain of the Duke Football team and one of the Good Works Nominees honored at the Sugar Bowl last night. http://www.goduke.com/ViewArticle.dbml?ATCLID=209356771

Another nominee is Tusculum College quarterback, Bo Cordell. http://www.tusculumpioneers.com/article.asp?articleID=4390

Both of these student athletes exemplify Boys being Men, taking responsibility for the world around them and working harder than they must to promote those less fortunate.

When you need help this year, call me. 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

What does a Top Tier Divorce Lawyer Offer?

The Top Ten List is here: http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/09/27/power-of-10-the-secrets-of-an-a-list-divorce-attorney/?src=rechp

If you want to see how I measure up, visit my website www.aubreylaw.com or just call me: 407-645-3297.

Legal Realities of Complex Litigated Divorce Proceedings

When people want a divorce there are several questions they must consider, the How's, When's Where's, Who's, Why's and What's.

How to tell the spouse? How to tell the children? How to tell the rest of the family? How to go about filing a divorce?

When should I tell my Spouse, children, family, and friends? When should I move out or insist my spouse move out? When should I find a job? When should I consult an attorney?

Where should I live? Where should my children live? Where should we file the divorce?

Who should get an attorney? Who should represent me? Who should know what?

Why do I want a divorce? Why should I stay? Why should I care about all these questions??????

Finally, the What's!
What is the law applied to my case? What do I do if . . .? What will my spouse do? What will everyone think? What will happen to all our savings? What will happen to the china cabinet mom gave me and all its contents we have accumulated? What do I do with my wedding ring?
 
You want Answers? The Court wants answers. The Courts want answers to Alimony and Child Support. Who will pay and How Much? The Courts want to know who is going to pay attorney's fees. Courts will decide who gets the High Assets or valuable Personal Property. The Court can decide what to do with the Marital Home. There is an easier way!

That is a long list of questions with very few easy answers! Some of the questions I would ask are:
How much time do you want to devote to court proceedings?
When do you want all this to be completed?
Where do you want to end up after all is finalized by the court?
Who will win/lose or decide?
Why does anyone have to let the Judge Decide?
What do you want to happen with your children? Of course my questions are directly related to a Collaborative Divorce, in which the Husband and Wife make all the decisions about the Property, Assets, Timing, and living situations, and the Mother and Father make all the decisions about the children. Some people think this is a Radical idea. Others believe that two people who could not get along well enough to remain married Cannot Possibly Get Along well enough to decide what is best for their family. I Disagree. From years of practice, we in the Collaborative Practice community have witnessed the most intractable situations turn out with everyone in agreement to a reasonable outcome.

Attorneys who are not committed to the collaborative practice and merely offer it alongside their mainly Litigation Practice, do no favors to their clients. Litigated cases are almost always significantly more expensive than Collaborative Cases. Further, Collaborative cases allow you to decide the timeframes for completion. You are not forced to work at the court's convenience, rather, your time schedule is of paramount importance.

Finally, you get to make the decisions affecting your family. By negotiated agreement you and your spouse will decide all issues. That is a radical idea. Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or visit the Collaborative Family Law of Central Florida website at www.cfl-cfl..org

Investigate the questions. Get answers to your questions. You have the Power! 

High Asset Divorce and Collaboration

Greed, trust and divorce.
How much is enough?
If you built a home together with your spouse and later divorced, you might expect to sell the home and divide the proceeds. What if you bought an exisiting home, improved it, watched it grow as an asset, and then decided to part ways? Would you trust your spouse to accurately represent its value? Would you get an appraisal?

What if your spouse forced you out of the home and then claimed the home was worth less than you thought; then your spouse worked out a secret deal to sell the home while telling you it was appraised at a certain value, inducing you to sign a Marital Settlement Agreement.

You might think this is Fraud. You might think your attorney should have done more to check on the value of the marital home. You might ask the court to throw out the settlement agreement due to fraud.

If the "Home" was the Los Angeles Dodgers, and the value asserted to you was $300 Million, and you settled your divorce for $144 Million, you might be very upset to learn the Dodgers were sold two weeks later for $2 Billion Dollars. Two Billion Dollars make a much larger pile of cash than $144 Million.

http://gma.yahoo.com/jamie-mccourt-claims-foul-pitch-131m-divorce-002230290--abc-news-celebrities.html

The McCourts Divorce has been news for a while.  Do the words Greed, Trust, Divorce, Marital Asset, of Fraud seem different in light of the story above?  The comments following it consistently fault the Wife for being "greedy" or "not doing her homework" or "not being happy with what she agreed to and received." Forget that the law indicates the "property" should be divided EQUALLY. Most observers fault her for wanting a fair share. Some comments from women are the Most appalling: "Oh come on! Take the $131 million and be happy, you old witch. I'm 59, no longer pretty, and would love a payload of $131 million for any reason. Don't get greedy. Were you the driving force behind your ex's success? I think not."

In reality, the former Mrs. McCourt was intimately involved in the Dodgers operations up until "he 'fired' her, and 'from that point forward, he completely excluded her from every aspect of management...'
Clients in Collaborative Divorce proceedings have certain luxuries that litigated cases do not afford. One feature is communication. Communication breeds trust. Trust overcomes greed. Everyone walks away much healthier, happier and overall less combative.

In a Collaborative Divorce, we work together to help you make intelligent decisions affecting your family. Many clients find Collaborative Divorce encourages more honest communications and disclosures while minimizing the costs to your family. One of the best features of a Collaborative Divorce may be keeing your private information and affairs PRIVATE. Noone has to know until you decide what to tell them.

If you would like a private consultation regarding your rights under Florida Law, please call me at (407) 645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
You can also send an email to aubrey@aubreylaw.com or aubreylaw@gmail.com
Don't allow yourself to be cheated. You have certain rights under the law, but you must insist they be enforced. A

Senate Bill 718 and House Bill 231

TURNING BACK THE CLOCK on 30 years of progress in Family Law
An Update and Plea to Help Stop this Travesty

Recently the Florida House passed HB 231 mandating changes to divorce law that will make marriage much more palatable and divorce much easier. You see, if this becomes law, no man will fear alimony or child support. Changes proposed will END permanent alimony (never mind that permanent alimony is almost universally not permanent today). Changes will also guarantee child support will be minimal and discretionary. If the primary breadwinner doesn't want to pay support, they are guaranteed 50/50 timeshare, and can easily ask for more to "allow the other spouse maximum time to work" thereby lowering child support to next to nothing. Forget deadbeats, no order will issue requiring support while fighting it out.

OK, those are worst case scenarios, but anything is possible when this legislature is in session!

Here are some of the proposed changes:

- application of these new rules retroactively to alimony awards entered (within the past 15 years by agreement) regardless of whether the support was based upon the agreement of the parties or court ordered after trial;

- litigation of alimony changes carries a risk of attorneys fees, just for contesting the changes in court;

- The new law would REQUIRE the proof of increased income AND for TWO YEARS of increased income to be deemed permanent. Quite a hurdle for the person receiving alimony. There is no such requirement should the obligor seek to obtain downward modification. Oh, my pay went down, so I don't have to prove it or show the decreased income lasted 2 years.

- Possibly the Worst idea: The new law includes a presumption for 50/50 timesharing except in very limited circumstances (prove a danger to the child's health, safety and welfare)(this applies in ALL cases not just divorcing parents)

Another bad idea: if the obligor is unemployed at the time of the dissolution the spouse has to wait a full two years after they become employed before asking for spousal support to be modified. So, lose your job just prior to divorce and 2 years without alimony will certainly punish your former spouse for wanting a divorce!

If this passes out of the Senate tomorrow afternoon, and it looks probable, it will be on the House floor next week and then off to the Governor shortly thereafter. The Family Law Section is doing what it can to defeat these bills, having committed to a grassroots and media campaign to get the word out, but those efforts are going to run short without your help. I am therefore asking that if you have not done so in anticipation of this bill being voted upon by the full Senate tomorrow that you please contact your Senators and, after tomorrow, your Representatives (or all Senators and all Representatives) http://www.flsenate.gov/Senators/Find and http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Representatives/representatives.aspx and urge them to oppose this legislation. Then, remember how they voted when they run for office next time.

 

Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Aubrey

How Many Attorneys Does it Take?

I know this sounds like a joke, but I was actually serious. How many attorneys you consult about a problem gives an indication of your interest and trust. How many should you consult? If you receive a recommendation from a trusted friend, and the attorney is competent to handle your case, you may not want to waste time getting second opinions.

Most good attorneys, like any good doctor, will be happy for you to seek out a second opinion. Once you have consulted and aquired a number of opinions, in choosing an attorney you should consider a several questions:
Who do you trust more?
Who makes you feel most comfortable?
Whose advice will you most easily accept?
Who has the simplest fee structure?
Who expects the most up front money, or Retainer?
Who has the expertise in your area of law?
Who has been in practice longer?
Who is most up to date on the Law?

In answering these questions, you will be able to select the attorney most competent to handle your case.

Do not be afraid to ask hard questions, such as:
How much will this cost?
What are the negative possibilities?
Am I liable for any other costs or fees?
Will the court order the other side to pay your fees?
Most important when suing for money damages, child support, alimony, or equitable distribution, what are my chances of actually collecting from the defendant?

In the end, the more answers you have at the beginning, the more likely you are to understand the process and potential outcomes.

So, how many attorneys does it take to change a lightbulb? Just One, but it has to be a good Case.

OK, here is the joke: How many attorneys does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change the lightbulb. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, one to sue the ladder company.

Litigation Management or Mediation Solution

A trial in Divorce Court is not pleasant. In Florida, we have "No Fault" divorces. Nobody gets to tell their side to the judge in hopes of a "win" where fault is not at issue.

He had an affair. She spent our nest egg. He gambled away our retirement. She drank too much. He was not supportive of her career. She wouldn't get a job after the kids went to school. She wouldn't pick up the dirty laundry off the bathroom floor. He left a mess in the kitchen every night.

I have heard a LOT of Excuses for Divorce. There are many good reasons, but sometimes the excuses feel better. Unfortunately, the court doesn't have time or interest in solving all these issues and assigning blame.

The Court's concern is summed up in PEACE:

Parenting: ususally shared. Which parent will have a majority of timeshare with the children?

Equitable Distribution: All the assets and liabilities acquired during the marriage have to be divided between the parties. That includes all retirement accounts, as well as any retirement benefits earned. Houses, cars and investments are legitimate negotiation points; however, furniture and fluff can cause too much litigation. I once spent an hour in mediation to divide a big screen TV. The mediator and two attorneys cost 850 for that hour, more than half the cost of a new TV. In the end, the TV was damaged when turned over and even more litigation ensued.

Alimony: In Florida, normally, we have short term, and long term marriages. Long term get alimony, short term do not. There are also "gray area" marriages which may or may not result in Permanent Alimony depending on several factors listed in the statutes.

Child Support: Once Alimony is awarded, child support is calculated based on the combined income of the parties. A mathmatical formula establishes how much child support will be paid. Negotiation of this amount is possible, but many judges want factual calculations and will award that amount regardless of settlement agreements because child support is the CHILD's interest and should not be waived by one or the other parent.

Everything Else: Attorney's fees. Costs. Mediation Fees. Etc. Anything that doesn't fit in the first 4 categories falls here. Sometimes agreeing to pay a set amount for Attorney's fees is preferrable to having a trial and paying many times the amount to "Win" in court.

PEACE Possible In Divorce!

Call me at 407-645-3297, or just visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

PEACE is within reach!

What Should You Expect from Your Lawyer?

Honesty. If your attorney doesn't tell you the potential downside and pittfalls of a course of action, she is doing you a disservice. You must know the bad possibilities as well as the good. Only when fully informed can you make the best decision. After all, you are the one who has to live with your decisions!

Integrity. Your opponent must be able to trust what your attorney tells them. The Court MUST be able to trust what your attorney tells it. If the attorney says he will present certain evidence, or he has a receipt showing something was purchased by a business, he must be able to back it up, or be forced to prove every detail - at potentially great expense.

Fairness. Treating the other side fairly doesn't hurt your case. In many instances it begins the process of healing that will allow both sides to put the difficulties to rest once and for all in settlement. A Trial is a bad way to achieve fairness. The parties have far less input and much greater expense. Besides, who knows your family better, You and Your future Ex Spouse? or the Judge who has listened to both sides of an argument for 4-6 hours?

Reasonable Billing Practices. The honest answer is Your attorney has a family to feed and must operate his or her practice in a profitable manner. Many times people assume a "quick question" will not result in a bill. Sometimes the answer is clear, but the question still interrupts the work ongoing in the office and usually requires an answer the same day. With only 8 hours in the work day, most attorneys have to work several more hours each day just to keep the messages from piling up, while still researching legal opinions, writing briefs, reviewing the latest rulings, keeping abreast of statutory law changes, planning for hearings, preparing for trials, etc.

Tomorrow: What NOT to expect from your attorney.

What do You do when You don't Know What to do?

When all around you are losing their heads over some perceived emergency without any plan of action, What do You Do? Do you stop and ask directions? Do you sit quietly and wait for the storm to pass, then clean up the mess and plan better to prevent future emergencies? Do you lead the charge, yelling do something to those around you who neither know what needs to be done nor how to go about doing it?
I am one who addresses those emergencies in life with a calm reflection. I have seen the damage done by a hasty response. I have witnessed the exponential increase in stress caused by the "Chicken Little" response of "the sky is falling".
Many years ago, I was the one to notice the sky falling and attempt to warn those around me. Working on the electrical plant of a Nuclear Submarine, I would many times see an emergency arrise on the meters and guages and it was my duty to not only note the changes, but to recommend actions to prevent damage to crucial equipment. Others might jump in before seeing All the indicators, trying to fix the first indications only to compound the real source of the problem. Many times, waiting for the opportune moment to suggest a better course of action means being heard rather than ignored.
In my practice, I see people in some of their worst situations, impending death, Family strife, marital strife, Divorce, etc. Many times alcoholism or drug addiction play a part in destroyed relationships. Other times, simple communication issues cause complete distrust or misunderstanding. An outsider who has witnessed the progression of strife, can see the direction, even if he or she cannot adequately communicate to the parties involved.
Life can be like that. Make a friendly suggestion before the friend recognizes the dire straits, and risk being ignored. Once the magnitude of problem is considered, a timely suggestion means all the difference in the world. Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com and let me help you recognize the symptoms and solutions to your problems.

Making Sound Decisions

Most people assume that given all relevant information, they will make sound decisions. Many people however, do not know when they have all the relevant information and may consider much irrelevant information in their decision making process.
When considering a contract, You Need An Attorney.
Contracts take many forms and all are considered by the courts to be a law between the parties. Whether the contract is for a Water Purification System in your home, a Home Security Monitoring Agreement, a Child Support or Alimony Agreement, an Insurance Settlement, a Probate Accounting, an agreement for piano lessons, a Timeshare Purchase, a Lease, or the purchase of an appliance with a warranty, You Need An Attorney. The company presenting the contract for your signature no doubt had an attorney look at the document to determine its legality and enforceability. You should also have an attorney review the contract. Most Insurance companies have staffs of attorneys to draft and review settlement agreements. The agreements are presented to the consumer by "Adjusters" who work for the insurance company. You the consumer need an attorney as well.

Attorney's fees are reasonable - considering

Many people wonder how attorney's arrive at their retainer or fees charged. The determination of what is reasonable considers many variables including at least the following: the time and labor required of the task presented, the novelty, complexity, or difficulty of the questions involved, the skills requisite to perform the legal service properly.

Additionally, the attorney may consider whether the acceptance of the particular employment will preclude other employment by the lawyer and the fee, or rate, customarily charged in the locality, Orlando, Central Florida, Winter Park, etc., for legal services of a comparable or similar nature.

The attorney may also consider the significance of, or amount involved in, the subject matter of the representation, the responsibility involved in the representation, and the results obtained.

More important considerations may include any time limitations imposed by the client or by the circumstances and, as between attorney and client, any additional or special time demands or requests of the attorney by the client.

Of course the attorney may also consider the length of the professional relationship with the particluar client and the nature of previous work involved.

Finally and perhaps most important in the determination of attorney's fees in a given case are the experience, reputation, diligence, and ability of the lawyer performing the service and the skill, expertise, or efficiency of effort reflected in the actual providing of such services. Whether the fee is fixed or contingent and the client’s ability to pay being dependent on the outcome of the representation may also factor importantly.