I didn't mean to Scare you!

"Congratulations, you are officially Divorced!" I said to my client.

"Thank you, you are Awesome," she said. (Really, that is what she said!)

"I am so glad we were able to get this done so quickly," I replied.

"Well after you scared me that first day, I did not have any unrealistic expectations and we could just get it done."

I really did not mean to Scare my client. I have always prided myself on being direct and honest with clients so they know what to expect from the Divorce Process and from the court system. I really don't want to scare anyone. Sometimes, clients come in my door having talked to not only other lawyers, but to friends and family who "know what to expect" and know "all the tricks in the book." Unfortunately, what is heard from your friend about their divorce may be colored and biased by their experience. They may feel the need to project unusual success or even put upon martyrdom. All the stories may in fact NOT be completely true.

Common myths include:

"My divorce only cost $250."

"I didn't have to pay a penny in alimony/child support."

"My wife/husband got the kids, the house, and all my money."

"My husband/wife tried to get the kids just to force me to settle for less."

"I never get to see my kid's, their father/mother keeps them from me."

"My divorce cost us more than $100,000."

"Our attorneys were the only ones happy after our Final Judgment."

When your friends tell you these things, you really have to ask more questions and compare their life experience and marriage to your own before setting up your expectations.

Divorce filings cost $408.00 in all Florida courts. What your attorney charges is determined by many factors including time, experience, complexity, and most importantly, who is on the other side of the litigation.

Whether you have to pay Alimony or Child Support is entirely driven by the family situation inlcuding many different factors: length of marriage; number of children; earning ability of each party; lifestyle, and most importantly, what you are willing to accept or pay, just to name a few.

Negotiation over child custody, what we now refer to as "Timesharing," is remarkably direct. Who is best able to care for and keep the children? Who has done so consistently in the past? When one parent wants to "claim the children" as a negotiation ploy, it is imperative that the court be fully informed. A Guardian Ad Litem or GAL is essential to fully inform the court and make sure the children are represented both at the bargaining table of Mediation or in court. Parents who would use the children as pawns in a game, are not good parents, and GAL's are adept as seeing through people's behaviors to their motivations and goals.

If your divorce costs too much money, ask yourself who is causing the excess expenses? Even the most complex divorce can be handled in a reasonable amount of time and for a reasonable fee by seeking out attorneys who do not set up unreasonable expectations which must then be met or attempted. Collaborative Divorce is a great idea for those with very complex situations as it brings all decision makers to the table routinely, rather than filing, and waiting, and responding and waiting, and hearing, and waiting, etc.

If you have questions regarding Divorce, Child Support, Collaborative Divorce, Alimony, Spousal Support, Custody, Timesharing or any other Family Law matter, please visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or call me at 407-645-5264. I will be happy to review your situation with you and most of all, I will try not to "scare" you! Aubrey