Collaborative Law 2015

The Collaborative Family Law Conference is meeting at the Wyndham Grand Hotel at the Bonnet Creek Resort this weekend. BOY do I FEEL LUCKY!!!

Working with Collaborative leaders from all over the state to perfect our practice is a great way to finish out my 3 year term for Continuing Legal Education. Some people would say, wait, why didn't you already finish that? Well, I did, but this is a bonus!

When 400 professionals get together in a legal seminar, it can be a great experience, and it can be a bit of a tooth pulling session.
As the Keynote speaker noted, "How often do you get a chance to be in a group making changes in the world."
Every family needs to know what Collaborative Law can do for their relationships and getting past divorce to a new life.
In Florida there are 10 different Practice Groups. All are part of the Collaborative Law Council of Florida.

I am member of Collaborative Family Law of Central Florida. www.cfl-cfl.com
Being "intentional" in the way a family goes about breaking apart can save children from the dramatic impact of divorce. Most parents say they just want to take care of the kids, but how they do that is a litigated case is beyond me. Most parents think fighting for the most time possible or the most child support possible is what they see as "taking care of the children."

In a Collaborative Divorce, we seek to assist the parents in communicating effectively so they can AGREE on various Goals and then agree to processes to achieve those shared goals.
Shared goals may be for the children to be able to attend college without racking up significant student loan debt.

Awareness of Collaborative Practice
Awareness of the Collaborative Attorney
Relationship Respect - how your name comes up
Reputation - not just what you do, but how you do it.
Visibility - You must be able to BE Found by clients.

Define your brand - Non Adversarial
Live your brand - Non Adversarial
Communicate your brand - Non Adversarial

What is my Brand? WT's Farm - The Ducker Brand

My Grandfather Ducker was well known on Signal Mountain as the most Honest man around. If you asked him a question, no matter how difficult the answer, he would answer honestly, sometimes to his own harm. He grew up in poverty and worked his entire life to give his children the best he could. He was a wonderful example of living up to your word in my life.

My other Grandfather, WT, was the hardest working man I know. He worked from absolute poverty to being one of the leading Polled Hereford farmers in Southeast Tennessee. At a time when artisan was not associated with food, he was a farmer who worked tirelessly for the very best beef, Polled Hereford, being fed the very best grain. All from WT's Farm. His Brand was recognizable on the Mountain and in the County and in the State and across the Southeast.

Who YOU SAY your are must align with who OTHERS SAY you are and most importantly for your own mental health, must be WHO YOU ARE. When I say, "I want to help you move from here to there with the least conflict possible to keep your children from being negatively impacted by your decisions." I am saying that after 15 years of experience watching families break apart and seeing them invest large sums of money to 'get what's right', there is a better way.

Collaborative Divorce is a better way.

I am a calming counsel seeking best outcomes for my clients and their families.

My Brand is a reason to choose. My Brand differentiates me from the other lawyers, attorneys, mediators, counselors, sharks and fish in the sea?

Not just a logo or a tagline.

If you truly want to protect your family from the necessary conflict of a separation, seek out a Collaborative Professional to assist you and your spouse in making the best decisions for the sake of your family.

A Divorce may involve Alimony, Child Support, Timesharing or Property Division. But those are merely the words that are used to describe the outcome. Some divorces involve significant assets, allegations of hiding assets, worries about disclosure of information or finding where all the money was hidden.

Some attorneys will do exactly what their clients want. I am not one of those attorneys. I will work hard to help your family get over this bump in the road and move on with your new life. Call me to find out how Collaborative Law can help your family.
Aubrey

What is Domestic Violence? Definitions Change!

Wow, that is a Loaded Question!
Years ago movies routinely included scenes of a woman becoming distraught and "needing" a slap on the face to "snap out of it."

Thankfully, we live in a different society! Physical violence to enforce your will is NEVER acceptable. Even Vladimir Putin said in a recent New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/) op-ed, "We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement." http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/putin-plea-for-caution-from-russia-on-syria.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Darrel Owens' article in today's Orlando Sentinel's detailed the 50 year marriage of Randy and Sharon Berridge. http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/columnists/orl-darrylowens,0,3266830.columnist
The title, "Couple so Happy Together after 50 years" is sweet enough, but a disturbing first three paragraphs detail the time Randy pulled the distributer cap out of the car to prevent his wife fleeing the marital home. While the very next line indicates the couple laughed about it, such action today might be considered Domestic Violence!
What a change in 50 years.

Wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) defines "Domestic Violence" as "a pattern of behavior" involving intimate or family relations taking many forms, "including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation. . . Domestic violence and abuse is not limited to obvious physical violence. Domestic violence can also mean endangerment, criminal coercion, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, trespassing, harassment, and stalking.^[5]"

The "Happy Couple" of yesterday fits the electronic world definition of Domestic Violence. Thankfully they were able to talk about their disagreements without resort to legal intervention.

Also thankfully, the limited story in the Sentinel might not meet the Florida Definition of Domestic Violence. The Florida Statutes define domestic Violence according to Section 741.28: Domestic Violence "means any assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another family or household member, and includes, in Section 741.402, a threat of these, regardless of whether they have been reported to law enforcement.  http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.28.html
http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.402.html

The Civilized Diplomatic and Political Settlement in areas of Family Law comes through Mediation and Collaboration. Collaborative Divorce removes threats by promoting reasoned analysis and solution.

If Domestic Violence is a part of your life and you want it to stop, call me at 407-645-3297. I may be able to help in ways you have yet to consider.

Please visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information and links regarding Divorce, Child Support, Alimony, Equitable Distribution, and many other topics. I am an Attorney, licensed in Florida, practicing in the areas of Collaborative Divorce, Elder Law, Family Law, and Guardianships. I have helped numerous husbands, wives and families seek a fresh start.

High Asset Divorce and Collaboration

Greed, trust and divorce.
How much is enough?
If you built a home together with your spouse and later divorced, you might expect to sell the home and divide the proceeds. What if you bought an exisiting home, improved it, watched it grow as an asset, and then decided to part ways? Would you trust your spouse to accurately represent its value? Would you get an appraisal?

What if your spouse forced you out of the home and then claimed the home was worth less than you thought; then your spouse worked out a secret deal to sell the home while telling you it was appraised at a certain value, inducing you to sign a Marital Settlement Agreement.

You might think this is Fraud. You might think your attorney should have done more to check on the value of the marital home. You might ask the court to throw out the settlement agreement due to fraud.

If the "Home" was the Los Angeles Dodgers, and the value asserted to you was $300 Million, and you settled your divorce for $144 Million, you might be very upset to learn the Dodgers were sold two weeks later for $2 Billion Dollars. Two Billion Dollars make a much larger pile of cash than $144 Million.

http://gma.yahoo.com/jamie-mccourt-claims-foul-pitch-131m-divorce-002230290--abc-news-celebrities.html

The McCourts Divorce has been news for a while.  Do the words Greed, Trust, Divorce, Marital Asset, of Fraud seem different in light of the story above?  The comments following it consistently fault the Wife for being "greedy" or "not doing her homework" or "not being happy with what she agreed to and received." Forget that the law indicates the "property" should be divided EQUALLY. Most observers fault her for wanting a fair share. Some comments from women are the Most appalling: "Oh come on! Take the $131 million and be happy, you old witch. I'm 59, no longer pretty, and would love a payload of $131 million for any reason. Don't get greedy. Were you the driving force behind your ex's success? I think not."

In reality, the former Mrs. McCourt was intimately involved in the Dodgers operations up until "he 'fired' her, and 'from that point forward, he completely excluded her from every aspect of management...'
Clients in Collaborative Divorce proceedings have certain luxuries that litigated cases do not afford. One feature is communication. Communication breeds trust. Trust overcomes greed. Everyone walks away much healthier, happier and overall less combative.

In a Collaborative Divorce, we work together to help you make intelligent decisions affecting your family. Many clients find Collaborative Divorce encourages more honest communications and disclosures while minimizing the costs to your family. One of the best features of a Collaborative Divorce may be keeing your private information and affairs PRIVATE. Noone has to know until you decide what to tell them.

If you would like a private consultation regarding your rights under Florida Law, please call me at (407) 645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
You can also send an email to aubrey@aubreylaw.com or aubreylaw@gmail.com
Don't allow yourself to be cheated. You have certain rights under the law, but you must insist they be enforced. A

Senate Bill 718 and House Bill 231

TURNING BACK THE CLOCK on 30 years of progress in Family Law
An Update and Plea to Help Stop this Travesty

Recently the Florida House passed HB 231 mandating changes to divorce law that will make marriage much more palatable and divorce much easier. You see, if this becomes law, no man will fear alimony or child support. Changes proposed will END permanent alimony (never mind that permanent alimony is almost universally not permanent today). Changes will also guarantee child support will be minimal and discretionary. If the primary breadwinner doesn't want to pay support, they are guaranteed 50/50 timeshare, and can easily ask for more to "allow the other spouse maximum time to work" thereby lowering child support to next to nothing. Forget deadbeats, no order will issue requiring support while fighting it out.

OK, those are worst case scenarios, but anything is possible when this legislature is in session!

Here are some of the proposed changes:

- application of these new rules retroactively to alimony awards entered (within the past 15 years by agreement) regardless of whether the support was based upon the agreement of the parties or court ordered after trial;

- litigation of alimony changes carries a risk of attorneys fees, just for contesting the changes in court;

- The new law would REQUIRE the proof of increased income AND for TWO YEARS of increased income to be deemed permanent. Quite a hurdle for the person receiving alimony. There is no such requirement should the obligor seek to obtain downward modification. Oh, my pay went down, so I don't have to prove it or show the decreased income lasted 2 years.

- Possibly the Worst idea: The new law includes a presumption for 50/50 timesharing except in very limited circumstances (prove a danger to the child's health, safety and welfare)(this applies in ALL cases not just divorcing parents)

Another bad idea: if the obligor is unemployed at the time of the dissolution the spouse has to wait a full two years after they become employed before asking for spousal support to be modified. So, lose your job just prior to divorce and 2 years without alimony will certainly punish your former spouse for wanting a divorce!

If this passes out of the Senate tomorrow afternoon, and it looks probable, it will be on the House floor next week and then off to the Governor shortly thereafter. The Family Law Section is doing what it can to defeat these bills, having committed to a grassroots and media campaign to get the word out, but those efforts are going to run short without your help. I am therefore asking that if you have not done so in anticipation of this bill being voted upon by the full Senate tomorrow that you please contact your Senators and, after tomorrow, your Representatives (or all Senators and all Representatives) http://www.flsenate.gov/Senators/Find and http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Representatives/representatives.aspx and urge them to oppose this legislation. Then, remember how they voted when they run for office next time.

 

Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Aubrey

Collaborative Divorce Saves Money, Time and Stress

Almost every month the Collaborative Family Law Group of Central Florida http://www.cfl-cfl.com/ meets to discuss ways we can help our clients save money, save time and save stress when pursuing a divorce. Sometimes we meet together at the Mount Vernon Inn on 17-92.
http://bestwesternflorida.com/hotels/best-western-mount-vernon-inn/ 
Other times we meet in one of four practice groups at various offices in the area. Each time we meet, we learn new ways to discuss, facilitate, encourage, coach or counsel our clients.
The International Association of Collaborative Professionals http://collaborativepractice.com/ is an international community of legal, mental health and financial professionals working in concert to create client-centered processes for resolving conflict. Supporting Collaborative Practice as a conflict resolution option, its Mission is:

• establishing and upholding the essential elements, ethical and practice standards of Collaborative Practice;
• fostering professional excellence by educating and providing resources to Collaborative practitioners;
• leading and integrating the Collaborative community; and
• promoting the growth of Collaborative Practice.

Why would you want a Collaborative Professional? Because it saves you Time, Money, Resources, and most of all STRESS! In a Collaborative Divorce, YOU make the Decisions in concert with your spouse and several professionals selected to assist.

You get to select a single Financial Professional to assess your family's finances to maximize child support and alimony so that limited resources are stretched for the family's benefit.

You get to select a Mental Health Professional who coaches you in communication. Many graduates of a Collaborative Divorce find they are much better able to communicate than ever during their marriage.

You get to decide how and when you get divorced; there is no waiting on a response from the other side, the court, a deposition, etc.

You are not alone in these decisions! You have help from several professionals who work daily in these situations. Our collective experience and expertise HELP you Make Decisions!

Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com and ask how we can help you seek a Collaborative Divorce. Aubrey

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! This has been a year of firsts, lasts and never mores!
Firsts included:
A personal best in the House of Hope Run Around the Pines 5K, followed by breakfast at my house served for many friends who also ran the race.
Scalloping around the Crystal River/Homosassa Gulf Coast. After the Deep Horizons explosion caused an Oil Spill (Hopefully Last and Never more) in the Gulf of Mexico, the State of Florida opened the Scalloping season early to ensure the maximum harvest possible prior to any potential oil contamination. My best description of Scalloping is a great underwater Easter egg hunt! Snorkeling in 5 to 25 feet of water watching for scallops may sound boring to many people, but I assure you, the first time you pick one up and find two or five more within arms reach, and the one begins snapping and swimming toward you, YOU WILL BE HOOKED! Unfortunately, when you clean your 5 gallons of scallops and realize only one meal's worth of result, you may be a little disappointed. However, the next time you order scallops in a restaurant, you might find a greater appreciation for their size and plumpness!
Finally, my brother and his wife had their First Child, a son, in October. I fear October may have signaled my parents' Last visit to Florida for a while! A new child brings all the wonder and potential of the world to bear on the family. I pray they will enjoy every possible happiness!
Once again, I look back over the year and see blessings I did not deserve, and trials I thought were undeserved! The richest blessings of all are the many friends I have been fortunate to encounter, some daily, some once in a lifetime. At Christmas I try to reflect on all these gifts and remember to say Thank you.
May God Richly Bless You this Season.
If you have need of an attorney, please do not hesitate to call me. 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Why Attorney's Try

I had a call today from a man who wants to see his child. Unfortunately, the last time the man saw his child, Police were taking him away to jail on charges of domestic violence. Three weeks later, should all be forgotten?

Sometimes it is better to take a little time to make sure a situation will not recur. Courts can and will use a Timesharing Parenting Plan to establish a routine for the child to ensure the parents have little opportunity to fight or argue.

Now why would an attorney say, "Wait one more week to see your child?"

Because, despite years of jokes and news items almost daily of attorneys acting in their own interests, many of us want to see children raised in the safest possible environment.
When domestic violence is present in the home, DCF, the Department of Children and Families can move in to take the children from the home and place them in foster care. I do not want any children taken by the state and placed in foster care. There are far too many for which this reality is unavoidable.

In cases where attorneys are involved from the start, many times unpleasantness can be avoided or minimized to prevent things escalating to a point where the State has an Obligation to Protect the children by removing them from the home.

If you find yourself in a violent home, call me at 407-645-3297, I will make every effort to assist you.

Visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ and learn more about me and the services provided by my firm.

WE PROTECT CHILDREN.

No child should have to see his or her parent harmed, especially by the other parent.

Litigation Management or Mediation Solution

A trial in Divorce Court is not pleasant. In Florida, we have "No Fault" divorces. Nobody gets to tell their side to the judge in hopes of a "win" where fault is not at issue.

He had an affair. She spent our nest egg. He gambled away our retirement. She drank too much. He was not supportive of her career. She wouldn't get a job after the kids went to school. She wouldn't pick up the dirty laundry off the bathroom floor. He left a mess in the kitchen every night.

I have heard a LOT of Excuses for Divorce. There are many good reasons, but sometimes the excuses feel better. Unfortunately, the court doesn't have time or interest in solving all these issues and assigning blame.

The Court's concern is summed up in PEACE:

Parenting: ususally shared. Which parent will have a majority of timeshare with the children?

Equitable Distribution: All the assets and liabilities acquired during the marriage have to be divided between the parties. That includes all retirement accounts, as well as any retirement benefits earned. Houses, cars and investments are legitimate negotiation points; however, furniture and fluff can cause too much litigation. I once spent an hour in mediation to divide a big screen TV. The mediator and two attorneys cost 850 for that hour, more than half the cost of a new TV. In the end, the TV was damaged when turned over and even more litigation ensued.

Alimony: In Florida, normally, we have short term, and long term marriages. Long term get alimony, short term do not. There are also "gray area" marriages which may or may not result in Permanent Alimony depending on several factors listed in the statutes.

Child Support: Once Alimony is awarded, child support is calculated based on the combined income of the parties. A mathmatical formula establishes how much child support will be paid. Negotiation of this amount is possible, but many judges want factual calculations and will award that amount regardless of settlement agreements because child support is the CHILD's interest and should not be waived by one or the other parent.

Everything Else: Attorney's fees. Costs. Mediation Fees. Etc. Anything that doesn't fit in the first 4 categories falls here. Sometimes agreeing to pay a set amount for Attorney's fees is preferrable to having a trial and paying many times the amount to "Win" in court.

PEACE Possible In Divorce!

Call me at 407-645-3297, or just visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

PEACE is within reach!

Thank you!

Such a Wonderful Phrase! I like being able to say Thank you!

Today, one of my dearest friends brought a gift by my office: A Painting in Watercolor of my Grandfather's Barn. In reality I did commission the work, but that should not take away from the Thanks I feel for such wonderful work presented to me.

The picture at right is a recent photo. In the next post, I'll include a shot of the painting.

Many times our memories deceive us. I looked at this photo of the old barn, and truly is looks like an Old Decrepit Barn! My memories don't recall it with so much rust and dust however. I remember putting hay into the loft from the age of 6! Then it was a Massive structure. I got to work with my grandfather's lifelong friends, Harry Clemons, Bob Lowery and others. They treated me like a fellow worker even though I probably got in the way more than they needed until I was 15 or 16. By then I was old enough and strong enough to drive the tractors and trucks around the farm and throw hay bails up onto the wagon.

Memories are funny, one persons delightful childhood event is another persons awful childhood memory. Too bad. If we all could remember only the best and forget the worst, Thank You might be heard more often.