Boxing Day - in Canada - New Holiday Tradition Here

I hope your Christmas was Bright and Merry!!!

On the Day after Christmas, Canada celebrates Boxing Day. I think that is when you box everything up for next year!

It has become a new tradition at our house.

Peace to you; Have a Happy and Safe New Year!

Aubrey

Chirstmas Week and Chanukah Week, Together Again

Happy Holidays! If that makes you angry, stop reading and find a Blog you will enjoy more!
Happy Chanukah, as my Jewish friends are on day 5 (it began Tuesday, December 16, 2014 at sundown and ends Wednesday, December 24, 2014, at sundown) their holiday runs directly into the Christian Christmas Holiday.

One of the Icons of the Bankruptcy Community in Orlando, Jules Cohen, lost his dear wife of more than 50 years this past week. While Jules is Jewish, his wife is Christian. Their marriage speaks volumes of the ability of people in love to work through problems - even conflicts at the very basis of their beliefs.

Funny how divergent sources can come together for peace. Baptist News Global  included in an email on Friday a Huffington Post article, 36 Things I know after 36 years of Marriage. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/winifred-m-reilly/36-things-i-know-after-36_b_6321032.html?
 
Normally, Baptists and the Huffington Post seem to be from the opposite ends of the spectrum of opinion. Normally, opposites attract, right?
Even then, problems arise. What do you do with problems?
I like these excerpts:

2. Most marital problems are fixable. Really. Even the tough ones.

3. The D word (divorce) is a dangerous weapon. I suggest the F word instead: frustrated. Nobody's heart will be broken if you say, "I'm so FRUSTRATED I could scream!"
13. Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things. Money. Intimacy. Parenting. Chores. You can battle, or you can collaborate. Collaboration is a lot more rewarding.

14. Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. Trust me on this one.
36. One of you has to go first. Apologize first. Be vulnerable first. Yield first. Forgive first. Why not let that person be you?

Collaborative Divorce is a "New Thing" in the last 20 years. Still it has taken a LONG time to really gain traction. There is still no "Collaborative Law Statute" in Florida that would assist people in using this method. Collaboration is working together to make decisions that benefit the family - even if the family is separating.

Sometimes the changes people make in their lives require changes in others that others may not be able or willing to make. Freedom necessitates being free to choose to start over. If you need help, call me.

Randy Greater's Grandma's Rules for Thanksgiving - I love This

Grandma's Thanksgiving Dinner invite letter :

 

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in
my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might
consider being with me for my favorite holiday. Dinner is at 2:00. Not
2:15. Not 2:05. Two. 2:00.Arrive late and you get what's left over....
 

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those
contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year,
the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop
of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.
 

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at
someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove.
Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date
them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.
 

Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have
decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice
things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the
environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to
deal with.
 

House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The
television stays off during the meal.

  2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter
bottles because your children still open a third can before
finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is
empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close
attention to refills.

  3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other
way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad
comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with
the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a
good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you.
Buy something from the bakery.

  4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact
of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home,
they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

  5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being
a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without
bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has
a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not
eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look
at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.
6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

  7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

  8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am
sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed
at me.

  9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the
kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because
company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has
lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat
is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I
can live with that. Can you?
 

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don't
need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And
if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said.
Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.
 

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a
battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and
it's true now that you have kids.
 

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas.
Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.
 

In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with
beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from
each family needs to be the designated driver.

  I really mean all of the above.

 

                                  Love You, Grandma

Collaborative Divorce - Conscious Uncoupling

Why do we call "Collaborative Divorce" - Conscious Uncoupling?

Because when you work hard to think about how to disentangle your lives, you find yourself able to be friends afterword. Imagine what that does for your children!


https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/will-smith-and-ex-wife-reunite-to-celebrate-son-birthday-162934798.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=fb

Just for Today, Be Happy!

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/07/30-things-start-4-absolutely-vital.html

Here are 30 Things You should DO to be Happy!

And here are 22 things Unhappy People Do: http://www.infobarrel.com/22_Habits_of_Unhappy_People

Both are well worth a look!

Receiving Divorce Papers may be one of the most awful things to happen today. But, they may alternatively be the start of greater happiness and a New Life!

You have the choice!
Peace!

In Defense of Marriage and other Divorce Topics

We have Attorney General Pam Bondi defending "traditional" marriage in Florida. George Sheldon is trying to unseat her in the election November 4th.  In China, mobs are defending marriage. http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/crime/mob-led-scorned-wife-strips-husbands-mistress-naked-streets-beats-her

So you really did not marry the "Love of your life." Or maybe you did but He or She CHANGED! That is so unfair. Perhaps the Love of your Life was really infatuation and it took 17 years to figure out you were not really that taken by their longterm life goals. Today must be Huffington Post day, because every article I read pointed to or derived from an article amalgamated by Ariana Huffington.

The first one is actually called, "I Didn't Marry the Love of My Life." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/04/marrying-for-love_n_5642062.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular


Another Divorce related Huffington Post article deals with the role of Parenting Coordinators. When parents cannot seem to agree on any issue, many courts will appoint a Parenting Coordinator to facilitate communication for the benefit of the children.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nicole-h-sodoma/parenting-coordinators-child-custody_b_5287604.html

Of course, after a Collaborative Divorce, many clients report their communications with their former spouse have never been so good.

Then there are the dreaded 6 Words No Divorced Parent Wants to Hear. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/03/parenting-after-divorce_n_5632205.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
You may have guessed: Mom/Dad, I want to live with Dad/Mom. (I know its 7, but the title of the story is not mine to change.)

Along with many guidelines for parents to follow so their children will never utter those horrible words! Do not "badmouth" the other parent. Cover your legal bases. Remain active in your child's life. Recognize the value of the other parent. Yes, good ideas if only clients will follow them.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I received this today via Email.   Good afternoon, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time for each of us to reflect on the devastating impact that domestic violence has on our society. You can scarcely get through a day without hearing a news report about a violent incident in the community. The national conversation often revolves around high-profile instances of abuse, illustrating that money and success are not safeguards. We at the Clerk’s Office deal with those in fear every day as they come to us seeking a judge’s order of protection against someone they believe wants to hurt them. I am proud to say that our recent partnership with Harbor House of Central Florida has already resulted in getting quick help to more than 25 people who may otherwise have had to wait up to 72 hours for their cases to be heard. If you are dealing with assault or stalking, three days is a long time – maybe too long. In April, I began deputizing more than two dozen Harbor House employees. Taking the oath of office has allowed them to continue processing domestic-violence injunction petitions during the hours that the Clerk’s Office is closed. That means no one has to wait overnight or through a holiday or weekend for a Clerk’s Office employee to take their paperwork. “Having this opportunity to swear in our employees to save lives is our primary goal, since being able to process a domestic violence injunction when the Clerk’s Office is closed is crucial for a victim in a domestic-abuse situation,’’ said Carol Wick, president & CEO of Harbor House of Central Florida. “It also enables us to uphold no-contact orders at any Harbor House location, which eliminates one more barrier to protecting survivors and holding abusers accountable.’’ Through September, more than 4,800 people had visited the Orange County Clerk’s Office this year seeking court-ordered protection. If that pace continues, the year-end number will be higher than that of 2013. The paperwork is several pages long and is available at the Clerk’s Office and its branches. It is also available online at myorangeclerk.com, which allows the petitioner to fill out the forms privately and thoroughly, away from crowds and bystanders at the courthouse. I also recently made Affidavit of Violation paperwork available online. This is the form a survivor fills out if their attacker has violated an injunction order. To reach Harbor House of Central Florida after hours, please call 1-800-500-1119. Regards,

Eduardo “Eddie” Fernández Orange County Clerk of Courts

Deceptive and Unfair Trade Practices - You Have Rights!

The Caller complained that a "salesman showed up at her door, and he and his partner would not leave."  I would have said, feel free to call the police.

The Caller said, "They took my vacuum cleaner and left me with this water thing." She felt overwhelmed by the people who were in her home.

 

The next day, she wrote a letter to tell them to come get the vacuum, and return hers, but when they showed up two days later with the financing contracts, again, she felt too much pressure. After all, she was alone with 3 people in her home she did not know. Again, I would have encouraged her to call the police.

 

But, What To Do NOW?

 

Call the Florida Attorney General at 850-414-3300.

 

Or visit her website at: http://myfloridalegal.com/contact

There are links to Frequently Asked Questions, such as my favorite, I need an attorney. Can the Attorney General’s office represent me?  and others:

1. I have a complaint against a private business. Where can I go for assistance?
   
2. Does the Attorney General’s Office provide any services o benefits to victims of violent crimes that have resulted in financial hardship?
   
3. What other services are available for crime victims?
   
4. Does the Attorney General help the public with questions on open government?
   
5. I believe that someone is using my name to run up charges on my credit.  What can I do?
   
6. I have a complaint with another state agency. Can the Attorney General act on my behalf or take action against it?
   
7. Who can help me with questions about child support?
   
8. I am having trouble with my insurance company. Can the Attorney General take action?
   
9. I believe that my local public officials are breaking the law or engaging in unethical behavior. What should I do?
   
10. I am constantly receiving telephone calls at night, on weekends, during the dinner hour, from people trying to sell me something. Is there any way I can prevent these calls?
    
11. I know of a state law that needs to be changed. Who can I contact?
    
12. Where can I find copies of state and federal laws?
    
13. What training does the Attorney General’s Office offer to lawenforcement, victims, and the general public?
    
14. I am part of a local Crime Stopper organization. How can my group apply for a grant from the Crime Stopper Trust Fund?
    
15. Who can help me with a problem concerning my utility?
    
16. I have a complaint against my local law enforcement department. Who can help me?
    
17. I feel that I am being discriminated against because of age,race, gender, or disability. Can the Attorney General help me?
    
18. I do not know all of the details on the products that I buy. How do I protect myself from consumer fraud?
    
19. My landlord is not doing what he is supposed to do according to our lease.  Who can help me?
    
20. My neighbor recently moved to Florida from out of state and the mover would not unload the truck until my neighbor paid him more than agreed upon. I just moved here from within Florida and the same thing happened to me, plus several items were damaged. How can we recover our money?

If these are not your questions, go here to explore other areas:

http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/4492D797DC0BD92F85256CB80055FB97/20AFA53C4EC9E3EA85256CCB00522BE1?OpenDocument

There are links to information about Identity Theft: http://myfloridalegal.com/identitytheft

 

Other places on the site allow direct contact with the office of Consumer Protection: http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/Main/18A7753257FE439085256CC9004EC4F7

 

Here is the page to file a complaint: http://www.myfloridalegal.com/Contact.nsf/Contact?OpenForm&Section=Consumer_Protection_Division

 

Note:

1. All information submitted with this complaint is subject to public inspection pursuant to Chapter 119, Florida Statutes.
2. Whoever knowingly makes a false statement in writing with the intent to mislead a public servant in the performance of his official duty shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 837.06, Florida Statutes.

 

Do not let the warning bother you. If you have been harmed by the actions of a Door to Door Salesman or telephone solicitation, please, protect yourself and others by filing a complaint.

 

An easy link to Citizen Services allows several contacts and valuable information for protecting yourself and your loved ones. http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/Main/27BC1ED4C58ABD878525792200477D3F

 

There is even a Medicaid Fraud Unit - just in case your healthcare provider is performing too many services you don't need or billing the state for services you did not receive. http://myfloridalegal.com/pages.nsf/Main/ebc480598bbf32d885256cc6005b54d1

 

You can get involved too.
Consumer-conscious senior citizens in Florida have the opportunity to volunteer their time and energy to help the Attorney General's Office fight back against con artists who typically prey on their number. They can become part of a statewide program known as "Seniors vs. Crime."
Formed in 1989 by the Attorney General, Vern Thornton and the American Association of Retired Persons, the program uses retired citizens not only to educate Floridians on consumer fraud but also to help in some consumer investigations. In addition, the volunteers regularly conduct seminars on how seniors can protect themselves from becoming crime victims.
For program information, consumer inquiries, consumer complaints, or to schedule a Consumer Seminar, please call 1-800-203-3099 or visit our web site at www.seniorsvscrime.com.

 

Finally, thre is even an A-Z resource guide here: https://csapp.800helpfla.com/CSPublicApp/AZGuide/AZGuideSearch.aspx

 

So much help is out there. You just have to look.

Post Divorce Planning

What do you do After you divorce?

Stumbled on a great article for lawyers titled, "Getting on Track Financially After Being Derailed by a Divorce: Lifestyle, Personal Finance, Practice Management"

Of course the average person getting a divorce may not need quite the same planning considerations, or so they think!

Realities are remarkably similar. If a person getting a divorce plans well for the future, the impact to their life can be mitigated. Consult with an investment advisor as to financial needs post-divorce is one way to plan early for Alimony and Child Support needs, and one way to plan for the end of alimony and child support in your particular case.

No one expects child support to last beyond age 18, well Almost No One! Some parents feel child support should continue throughout college even if the child is Not living at home. High Expectations in Divorce lead to extremely difficult cases. Mediation is virtually impossible when one party has expectations that are so far out of reason the other party gives up before they even come close in negotiation.

When the parties begin too far apart, the mediator cannot be expected to bridge the gap in a minimal court required mediation. (This is one reason I always recommend Collaborative Law to my clients.)
If one former spouse wants to continue a life of relative ease while the other is forced to work well past retirement, one side may say, "why negotiate? Let the court decide."

Once you give up control to a third party, whether it be the Judge, or your attorney, or your former spouse, regaining control of your situation may appear impossible. Always remember, Nothing is Impossible; some things are  just more difficult than others. Where parties have been married for a long time, patterns of conduct may have grown that are hard to break free; a good attorney can guide you into positive decisions. Rather than reacting to your spouse, you can direct the negotiation by following the guidance provided. Whether your spouse follows your lead is entirely up to them, but so long as you move toward final resolution in a planned and coordinated effort, the end result can be achieved. (Again, Collaborative Law begins and ends with the Clients making all Decisions.)

If you need assistance, do not be afraid to ask. You must make the effort. You have the power to take control of your situation. Better to work now During the Divorce, than to worry later about what might have been. Call me today: 407-645-3297 or visit my website: www.aubreylaw.com

Oh, that link for What to do After Divorce:
http://legalinkmagazine.com/2014/09/getting-on-track-financially-after-being-derailed-by-a-divorce/

The Birds and Bees of Marriage and Divorce

    You know Bees only attend one Queen. They are from birth set out to serve their Queen and only when a new queen is birthed in the hive does the hive divorce into "old Queen," in the current hive, and "New Queen" hives destined to seek out a hive with her new workers and drones. There is no "hive intermingling" so to speak.

   Likewise, birds can be fairly monogamous, although some are quite prone to wanderlust. Certain birds are quite adept at philandering between as many partners as possible. Take Hummingbirds for instance, "Speedy hummingbirds, eating on the run and flitting from mate to mate, are prone to heart attacks," says Noah Strycker in his new book The Thing With Feathers, reviewed in a New York Times Article yesterday. Also in the review is Bernd Heinrich's The Homing Instinct. What do these books tell us about Marriage and Divorce? http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/10/books/review/the-thing-with-feathers-and-the-homing-instinct.html?_r=0

     Homing instincts are critical to birds navigation around the globe. Most interesting is the description of the Albatross which spends most of its life soaring over the vast open oceans, but is fairly monogamous throughout life. The Albatross uses a dance ritual, learned from years of "courting" that is "as unique as human fingerprints" to each Albatross couple.

     Sunday's magazine of the NYT included a wonderful article detailing Human interaction in relationship and the correlations of education to stability. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/opinion/sunday/the-new-instability.html
Comparison over many years would lead most to believe that since the Equal Rights Revolution in the 60's and 70's divorce has actually become less common among more highly educated men and women. Obviously, changing societal norms have a great impact, as do attitudes. Just watch an episode of Mad Men to see how far we have come.

     If partners to a marriage spent comparative times apart as Albatross couples, and focused their times together on dancing in sync, perhaps divorce would not be common. But human relationships are much trickier than Albatross' interactions.

    Couples undergoing Collaborative Divorce, or Conscious Uncoupling as it is beginning to be known, report significantly improved communications. Probably communications improvements result from the use of a Neutral Facilitator who is trained in interpersonal communication. Perhaps just seeing a clear path to the finalization of the divorce helps. In any case, using a logical, step by step approach to divorce creates numerous benefits over Litigation.

    Collaboration also produces much more fair results than are sometimes obtained through Mediation alone. In Mediation, the parties may not be represented by attorneys and therefore may not have legal advice as to the fairness of anticipated settlements.

    In Collaborative Divorce, each side has an attorney to advice, coach and assist toward a fair result. Each side participates in setting the goals for the Collaborative Team. The Collaborative Team eliminates much of the fighting. When questions arise over who makes how much, what value to place on businesses, and how to divide Real Property, what personal property will be included and who will get what, the Collaborative Team works to balance all considerations to achieve the Team Goals set by the Parties themselves.

(here is an interesting article about some of the potential problems with dividing real estate: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/03/realestate/divorcing-co-op-owners-rooftop-barbecues-and-costly-assessments.html )
  
   As assets increase, so does the news value of divorce. http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/07/24/kenneth-griffin-files-for-divorce-from-anne-dias-griffin/
Especially when the divorce involves significantly high assets such as the Griffin matter. When privacy is a concern, Collaborative Divorce is key. Agreements to keep the matter private are much more effective when all parties are sitting around a table and commit to common goals by signing their agreements not to resort to litigation. Agreeing to agree is possible.