Elder Law Major Seminar - OCBA

So this is what I have been working on for several weeks:

Elder Law Committee Major Seminar
Wednesday, May 27, 2015 , 11:30 AM - 4:00 PM
Topic: Probate, Guardianship & Grandparents' Right & Ethics
...

CLE: 4.0 CLE including 1.0 Ethics Approved; Certification Credits: Elder Law 3.0 and Wills, Trusts and Estates 3.0
Speakers:
- Hon. Jose Rodriguez
- Hon. Thomas Mihok (retired)
- Hon. Robert Evans (retired)
- Tiffany Moore Russell, Esq., Orange County Clerk of Courts
- Lisa Paige, Probate Clerk, Orange County Clerk's Office
- Nancy Veneble, Probate Clerk, Orange County Clerk's Office
- Aubrey Ducker, Esq.
- Randy Bryan, Esq. of Hoyt & Bryan
Cost: Members - $40; Non-members $50; OCBA government, law student, and paralegal student members - $25
Registration deadline: May 25, 2015
Lunch will be provided.
Register at the OCBA Store
Location: OCBA Center 880 N. Orange Ave, Orlando, FL 32801
URL: http://orangecountybar.org/products/seminars

Collaborative Law 2015

The Collaborative Family Law Conference is meeting at the Wyndham Grand Hotel at the Bonnet Creek Resort this weekend. BOY do I FEEL LUCKY!!!

Working with Collaborative leaders from all over the state to perfect our practice is a great way to finish out my 3 year term for Continuing Legal Education. Some people would say, wait, why didn't you already finish that? Well, I did, but this is a bonus!

When 400 professionals get together in a legal seminar, it can be a great experience, and it can be a bit of a tooth pulling session.
As the Keynote speaker noted, "How often do you get a chance to be in a group making changes in the world."
Every family needs to know what Collaborative Law can do for their relationships and getting past divorce to a new life.
In Florida there are 10 different Practice Groups. All are part of the Collaborative Law Council of Florida.

I am member of Collaborative Family Law of Central Florida. www.cfl-cfl.com
Being "intentional" in the way a family goes about breaking apart can save children from the dramatic impact of divorce. Most parents say they just want to take care of the kids, but how they do that is a litigated case is beyond me. Most parents think fighting for the most time possible or the most child support possible is what they see as "taking care of the children."

In a Collaborative Divorce, we seek to assist the parents in communicating effectively so they can AGREE on various Goals and then agree to processes to achieve those shared goals.
Shared goals may be for the children to be able to attend college without racking up significant student loan debt.

Awareness of Collaborative Practice
Awareness of the Collaborative Attorney
Relationship Respect - how your name comes up
Reputation - not just what you do, but how you do it.
Visibility - You must be able to BE Found by clients.

Define your brand - Non Adversarial
Live your brand - Non Adversarial
Communicate your brand - Non Adversarial

What is my Brand? WT's Farm - The Ducker Brand

My Grandfather Ducker was well known on Signal Mountain as the most Honest man around. If you asked him a question, no matter how difficult the answer, he would answer honestly, sometimes to his own harm. He grew up in poverty and worked his entire life to give his children the best he could. He was a wonderful example of living up to your word in my life.

My other Grandfather, WT, was the hardest working man I know. He worked from absolute poverty to being one of the leading Polled Hereford farmers in Southeast Tennessee. At a time when artisan was not associated with food, he was a farmer who worked tirelessly for the very best beef, Polled Hereford, being fed the very best grain. All from WT's Farm. His Brand was recognizable on the Mountain and in the County and in the State and across the Southeast.

Who YOU SAY your are must align with who OTHERS SAY you are and most importantly for your own mental health, must be WHO YOU ARE. When I say, "I want to help you move from here to there with the least conflict possible to keep your children from being negatively impacted by your decisions." I am saying that after 15 years of experience watching families break apart and seeing them invest large sums of money to 'get what's right', there is a better way.

Collaborative Divorce is a better way.

I am a calming counsel seeking best outcomes for my clients and their families.

My Brand is a reason to choose. My Brand differentiates me from the other lawyers, attorneys, mediators, counselors, sharks and fish in the sea?

Not just a logo or a tagline.

If you truly want to protect your family from the necessary conflict of a separation, seek out a Collaborative Professional to assist you and your spouse in making the best decisions for the sake of your family.

A Divorce may involve Alimony, Child Support, Timesharing or Property Division. But those are merely the words that are used to describe the outcome. Some divorces involve significant assets, allegations of hiding assets, worries about disclosure of information or finding where all the money was hidden.

Some attorneys will do exactly what their clients want. I am not one of those attorneys. I will work hard to help your family get over this bump in the road and move on with your new life. Call me to find out how Collaborative Law can help your family.
Aubrey

To Grow Closer, Ask These Questions:

When you're fighting all the time, asking someone about their dreams for the future can be a recipe for disaster, especially if those dreams don't include you.

But, if you want to explore your spouse's psyche without risking hurt feelings, try asking the following questions.

Not only will they help you get to know one another all over again; they may also help you find new ways of relating:

·         What's your best memory of us as a couple?

 

·         What did you think of me when we first met?

·         What do you think is our biggest strength as a couple?

·         If you could change one thing about our marriage, what would it be?

·         If I could change one behavior tomorrow to make you happier, what would it be?

·         What would you like to change about yourself as a partner?

·         What are your hopes for our future together?

·         How do you think our values and relationship have changed over time?

·         What's the best thing about being married to me?

·         Is there any sexual trick you've been itching to try?

·         What are you most scared of in our relationship?

·         If I could surprise you with anything, what would you want for it to be?

·         What does a perfect day look like for you?

·         Which ways of showing love feel best to you? Gifts? Sex? Favors? Something else?

·         If I could get you any gift in the world, what would you want? Why?

·         If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?

·         What's the sexiest thing I could do for your right now?

 

Hope it helps! BTW, this came from: http://staymarriedflorida.com/staymarriedblog/want-to-fall-in-love-all-over-ask-your-spouse-these-questions

 

If it is too late, give me a call or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

 

Mediation? Or Collaboration?

What does this say to you?

I am writing to offer my services as a Supreme Court Certified Circuit Civil Mediator. I AM A PERSUASIVE, PASSIONATE AND AGGRESSIVE MEDIATOR.

That was the first line of a mediator who wants me to hire him for my cases.

I am not sure I want that much passion in Mediation. I would prefer a mediator who can make sure the other side Understands the good offer being presented.

Having had two mediations this week for different clients, and one administrative hearing, I am about ready to say NO! I won't do it any more!

For 15 years I have watched people move from Married to Single through the Florida Courts and have not really witnessed a Perfect Divorce. As close as I can come to a Perfect Dissolution of Marriage occurs in the Collaborative Process.

Litigation looks like this:
Preliminary Review with the Client.
Filing a Petition.
Waiting for an Answer.
Filing an Answer to a Counter Petition.
Asking for Interim Support.
Scheduling Mediation.
Preparing Discovery Requests.
Attending a Hearing.
Responding to Discovery Requests.
Taking Depositions.
Preparing for Mediation.
Defending Depositions.
Conducting Mediation.
Attending a Hearing.
Finding an Expert Witness to evaluate the Financials.
Examining the other side's Expert Witness on Financials.
Finding an Expert Witness on Employment and Income.
Deposing the other side's Expert Witness.
Defending my Experts at Deposition.
Attending a Status Conference.
Preparing a Temporary Agreement.
Preparing for Trial.
Attending a Pretrial Conference.
Preparing for Trial.
Getting final Discovery Items to opposing counsel.
Determining what items were not provided by the other side through Discovery.

Collaborative Divorce, Conscious Uncoupling, or NextGen Divorce http://nextgenerationdivorce.com/  or my favorite: http://cfl-cfl.com
offers real alternatives to the waste of time and money that is litigation.

Investigate the difference.
In a Collaborative Divorce, the steps above are transformed into a few meetings with professionals who help YOU DECIDE what happens with YOUR FAMILY. The Judge doesn't decide. The Lawyers don't decide. 

Each of the Collaborative Professionals, the Collaborative Attorneys, the Financial Neutrals, and the Mental Health Professionals who serve as Communications Facilitators and Neutrals are trained and Committed to the Collaborative Process to help YOU Make the Decisions that Affect Your Family.

Please visit our website at www.aubreylaw.com  or call me at 407-645-1330.

How Expensive Is a Divorce?

For some, VERY Expensive.
An Alimony check made out for $974,790,317.77 seems a little high. When you consider the man writing the check has a net worth of more than $8 Billion, well, lets just say they are still in court!

You can read about it here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2015/01/08/harold-hamms-975-million-uncashed-divorce-check-how-about-deducting-it/

You can even learn a little about taxes and Divorce Settlements here:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2014/11/11/harold-hamms-billion-dollar-divorce-and-the-irs/2/

In reality, a Divorce can be expensive or cheap, depending upon your desires. If you seek maximum conflict, then expensive it is. If you want years of legal wrangling, go with cheap.

My office strives for efficiently extricating clients from difficulties. We want to prevent problems next year by doing the hard work now. Many times, clients see their dreams realized by selecting Collaborative Divorce and making their own decisions.

Where there are High Assets, people may want to limit their exposure to the public and to continuing attorneys fees and court costs. Collaboration is the way to go.

Visit my website to learn more: www.aubreylaw.com
or simply pick up the phone and call 407-645-3297.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Living Wills and the Right to Control Your Life

Living Wills became imperative in Florida after the entire country watched the Terri Shiavo ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terri_Schiavo_case ) drama play out over many years as the Husband tried to allow his wife to die in peace, while her parents insisted on keeping her alive at all costs. Even the Florida Supreme Court and the U.S. Congress got involved in this family's fight.  The case even evolved into a college level course at Michigan State University: https://www.msu.edu/course/hm/546/schiavo_case.htm

When Terri finally died, CNN covered the story: http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/31/schiavo/

Almost 10 years later, the Connecticut Supreme Court is being asked to consider whether a 17-year old should be able to refuse Chemotherapy that has an 80% chance of saving her life. The oversimplification of questions in court is required by the media to tell a compelling story, but most people realize family healthcare decisions, and issues involving death, cancer, chemotherapy, and the Department of Children and Families are seldom as simple as the media tries to portray.

The Orlando Sentinel carried the story on Page A-3 (http://eedition.orlandosentinel.com/Olive/ODE/orlandosentinel2/

which originated with the Hartford Current and picked up by Raw Story here: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/01/teen-girl-and-mother-fight-state-of-connecticut-over-right-to-refuse-life-saving-chemo/

Questions of how to end your life, or how to live your life are ever present.

I work in Collaborative Law because tough decisions require well reasoned approaches and detailed answers.

Collaborate.

For your family's sake.

Peace.

Boxing Day - in Canada - New Holiday Tradition Here

I hope your Christmas was Bright and Merry!!!

On the Day after Christmas, Canada celebrates Boxing Day. I think that is when you box everything up for next year!

It has become a new tradition at our house.

Peace to you; Have a Happy and Safe New Year!

Aubrey

Chirstmas Week and Chanukah Week, Together Again

Happy Holidays! If that makes you angry, stop reading and find a Blog you will enjoy more!
Happy Chanukah, as my Jewish friends are on day 5 (it began Tuesday, December 16, 2014 at sundown and ends Wednesday, December 24, 2014, at sundown) their holiday runs directly into the Christian Christmas Holiday.

One of the Icons of the Bankruptcy Community in Orlando, Jules Cohen, lost his dear wife of more than 50 years this past week. While Jules is Jewish, his wife is Christian. Their marriage speaks volumes of the ability of people in love to work through problems - even conflicts at the very basis of their beliefs.

Funny how divergent sources can come together for peace. Baptist News Global  included in an email on Friday a Huffington Post article, 36 Things I know after 36 years of Marriage. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/winifred-m-reilly/36-things-i-know-after-36_b_6321032.html?
 
Normally, Baptists and the Huffington Post seem to be from the opposite ends of the spectrum of opinion. Normally, opposites attract, right?
Even then, problems arise. What do you do with problems?
I like these excerpts:

2. Most marital problems are fixable. Really. Even the tough ones.

3. The D word (divorce) is a dangerous weapon. I suggest the F word instead: frustrated. Nobody's heart will be broken if you say, "I'm so FRUSTRATED I could scream!"
13. Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things. Money. Intimacy. Parenting. Chores. You can battle, or you can collaborate. Collaboration is a lot more rewarding.

14. Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. Trust me on this one.
36. One of you has to go first. Apologize first. Be vulnerable first. Yield first. Forgive first. Why not let that person be you?

Collaborative Divorce is a "New Thing" in the last 20 years. Still it has taken a LONG time to really gain traction. There is still no "Collaborative Law Statute" in Florida that would assist people in using this method. Collaboration is working together to make decisions that benefit the family - even if the family is separating.

Sometimes the changes people make in their lives require changes in others that others may not be able or willing to make. Freedom necessitates being free to choose to start over. If you need help, call me.

Randy Greater's Grandma's Rules for Thanksgiving - I love This

Grandma's Thanksgiving Dinner invite letter :

 

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in
my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might
consider being with me for my favorite holiday. Dinner is at 2:00. Not
2:15. Not 2:05. Two. 2:00.Arrive late and you get what's left over....
 

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those
contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year,
the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop
of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.
 

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at
someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove.
Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date
them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.
 

Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have
decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice
things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the
environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to
deal with.
 

House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The
television stays off during the meal.

  2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter
bottles because your children still open a third can before
finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is
empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close
attention to refills.

  3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other
way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad
comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with
the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a
good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you.
Buy something from the bakery.

  4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact
of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home,
they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

  5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being
a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without
bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has
a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not
eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look
at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.
6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

  7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

  8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am
sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed
at me.

  9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the
kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because
company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has
lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat
is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I
can live with that. Can you?
 

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don't
need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And
if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said.
Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.
 

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a
battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and
it's true now that you have kids.
 

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas.
Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.
 

In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with
beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from
each family needs to be the designated driver.

  I really mean all of the above.

 

                                  Love You, Grandma

Collaborative Divorce - Conscious Uncoupling

Why do we call "Collaborative Divorce" - Conscious Uncoupling?

Because when you work hard to think about how to disentangle your lives, you find yourself able to be friends afterword. Imagine what that does for your children!


https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/will-smith-and-ex-wife-reunite-to-celebrate-son-birthday-162934798.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=fb