Safe Driving for Seniors

Driving gets harder as you age. Reflexes are not as fast, hearing and eyesight begin to deteriorate.

Then again, experience makes older drivers less likely to take risks, such as driving too fast in the rain, or following too closely.

What do you do when Dad needs to stop driving? Concern is common among adult children of "experienced" drivers. Aging parents continue to drive as they have for years. Just bringing up driving restrictions may seem to overstep boundaries. How does a 50 year old tell a 70 year old what is acceptable?

Sometimes just resisting driving at night or during rush hour can alleviate most concerns. Unfortunately, it may be hard for children to identify and correct potentially dangerous behavior.

A real concern appears when Mom begins to "forget" where she is going, how to get there, or worse, how to get home. When Alzheimers and dementia begin, driving may be the first clue. Does Dad seem lost behind the wheel? Does Mom need constant direction to keep her going the right way?

For help with these questions and more, call an attorney who practices in Elder Law. Choosing the right attorney is paramount to making a smooth transition from driving to caring for your aging parents.

If you have questions, Call me, 407-645-3297, or visit my website, www.floridaguardianattorney.com You will be glad you asked.

Take Care of Yourself

Much has been written about the "Sandwich Generation" - those caught between caring for their children while simultaneously caring for their parents. Many people feel the crunch of time and demands and forget that while caring for others, the caregiver also needs care.

Balancing a full-time job with child care is exponentially more difficult when aging or incapacitate parents enter the mix. Children may not understand having to be second or even third on the list when Grandpa or Grandma requires precedence. Family stress compounds when siblings are pressured to provide care without compensation because it is "more convenient" due to proximity to the marital or parental home. When Fathers and Mothers become the burden, HELP IS AVAILABLE!

Please look to community resources for counseling and assistance. If you find yourself overwhelmed with caring while being forgotten, give me a call. Aubrey Ducker, 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.floridaguardianattorney.com

Why would You even Talk to a Divorce Lawyer?

They will just break up your marriage! NOT TRUE!
Just having Knowledge of the Law can be key to success in many endeavors, even a successful marriage. Remember - Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse!

There are many issues under the "Family Law" umbrella. Adoption, Divorce, Child Support, Custody - or as we now say in Florida, Time Share - Domestic Violence, Post Disolution Motions, and Prenuptial Agreements are all areas Attorneys work and are vitally needed.

Adoption has many differing aspects that only an attorney can sort out to make the best for your family situation. Is Open Adoption an option? Should you consider a Foreign Adoption? How do you domesticate your Foreign Adoption? Should you be a Foster Parent before even considering adoption? An attorney can help you analyze these critical questions to best suit your family situation.

Prenuptial Agreements may sound like movie star problems; however, seniors, second marriages, widows, widowers, and the like are most likely to need these contracts. Only a well trained attorney can properly guide you through the problems and potential defects in such complex documents.

Divorce - some people are immediately turned off by the word; but in our society, everybody knows someone who needs to talk to a divorce lawyer. Working things out in the court may be more important for the children's wellbeing than staying together for the sake of the children. Children do not thrive in conflict. They sense conflict without being told all the particulars. They want Mommy and Daddy to be happy, but don't know how to make Happy work. Thus children will internalize the conflict and become bullies at school, or withdrawn from friends, or neglect schoolwork, or work extra hard at school, pressuring themselves to make their parents HAPPY. Children should not be made the source of their parents conflict or happiness. That is Stress!!!

Why talk to a Divorce Lawyer? For the sake of the Children! Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or

Call me today, 407-645-3297, even if just to say, "Hey, I saw your blog!"

Where Does the Time Go?

Please forgive a little marketing:
My time sells for $325 per hour. For some people on a fixed income or when the issues are very straightforward, I can let my time go for as little as $150 per hour. Unfortunately, all my time is not sold every day. Some of my time is wasted sleeping, some spent working out, some spent on my family (this is never a waste and always a priority).

So, what makes the difference between a $325 hour and a $150 hour? Usually the difference is dependent on a wide variety of factors, including: the client's problem; the urgency of need; the intricasy of solution; probability of collection, and my general attitude toward the client. If I truly do not want the client's problem to be my own, my rate quoted may be even higher.

I recently laughed when a client asked how long his $5,000 retainer would last. He had already taken more than 3 hours to describe the problem which could have been summed up in as little as 15 minutes if the man had simply listened to what I, and his previous counsel, had said. You must follow court orders or risk having the court treat you as a derelict.

So where does the time go? Every human gives their time to their own choosing. How cheaply you sell your time determines what you do with it.

Durable Power of Attorney

Do you have one? Do you need one? Who has access to YOUR MONEY?

I asked these questions at a seminar today with the Boost Your Brain Program of the Crosby YMCA Wellness Center in Winter Park. Meeting with 41 Y members allows me to meet new potential clients. It also allows me to hear what questions concern them most. Many questions begin with either "my friend" or "my parent" and relate particular issues being dealt with daily. They continue asking "is doing this, that or the other thing OK?" In a seminar setting I can answer general questions common to many caregivers in a minimum of time by comparison to an office consultation. The information passed out to a large group is by nature very general and may apply in peculier ways to any given set of circumstances.

More complex questions are best answered in the office during a personal consultation session. One persons actions with regard to care and keeping may differ radically from another person's situation. If you have questions, Call an Attorney. We are here to help. Many times a question over the phone can prevent major complications that could impact Medicaid Qualifiation, Taxes, Inheritance, Probate, Guardianship, etc.

A few of the members had questions regarding how to pay bills when sharing a residence with their mother, brother, etc. Dividing bills and paying 1/2 to the other person may seem reasonable today, but when the IRS audits your taxes, or when applying for medicaid, or when going through Probate administration, the answers may radically alter treatment in the individual case.

Bottom Line: Ask the question of a professional. Do not depend on the advice given to a friend by their former whatever. Be Careful out there! And I am Proud of You!

Election Day

VOTE TODAY!!!

Robert Stuart

Yes On 10

Go Vote

Paper My Office

An attorney recently promised to "Paper (my) office with everything we have." Since this was a relatively new attorney, not young in years but in practice, I tried not to take offense at what is normally a derogatory statement. By most attorney's understanding,
"papering an office" implies "we will bury you in paper so you can't possibly respond to it all."

Unfortunately, this attorney did not follow through. Although she has made significant and slanderous allegations against my client, no "paper" has been provided showing even a hint of wrongdoing by my client. Still the bold assertions of opposing counsel are expected to make me disbelieve in my client's cause and undermine my confidence in her case.

Worse than the implications of this attorney toward my own client are her failures to live up to the standard she advertises. "Dove Attorney" and Christian Symbols on a website should warn potential clients this person cannot be trusted. If you have to rely on something beyond your own legal experience to assure a client of your legal abilities, well, nuff said.

Sorry to rant here, but I am offended that someone who advertises under the words "Christian Attorney" could be so deceitful and offensive to a fellow attorney, much less to a fellow human being.

WOW - February is gone and March is Here!!!

Where did the Month go??? Two posts this year? Not enough! Not Nearly Enough!!

I am reading three books:

Words to Lead By, by Skip Moen

Life Safari, by John P. Strelecky

and Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol.

I recommend Strelecky's book as an intro to Africa. I want to go!

Unfortunately, I have five other books on my desk I need to finish before finding another to start.

Oh and I almost forgot, His Excellency George Washington, by Joseph J. Ellis. Really enjoying this one - great history never taught. My favorite quote of a letter from George Washington to his friend, whom he had just hired to manage his estate:

"As you are now receiving my Money, your time is not your own; and that every day or hour misapplied, is a loss to me, do not therefore under a belief that, as a friendship has long subsisted between us, many things may be overlooked in you . . . I shall consider you in no other light than as a Man who has engaged his time and Service to conduct and manage my Interest . . . and shall seek redress if you do not, just as soon from you as an entire stranger."

Talk about direct!!! I can think of a few people to whom I whould like George Washington to have directed his ire.

When hiring an attorney, you are buying time and talents. "An attorneys time and experience are his stock in trade." The hiring of an attorney is not to be taken lightly.

Real ID Problems

Beginning in 2010, all driver licenses must be matched to identification documents, including passports, Social Security Cards, Birth Certificates, Naturalization papers, etc. This presents a real problem for older drivers and especially married women who did not accurately document their married name.

A client recently appeared at my office with an expired Driver License because the Florida Tag office would not renew her driver license because the name did not match either her Birth Certificate or her Social Security Card. Incidentally, neither of those items had matching names!
Now she is forced to go to court to formally and legally change her name to that which she has used for 51 years since her marriage.

Simple solution if you prepare for the problem; Major Problem if you don't anticipate the solution. Two months ago, she could have changed her name on her driver license to match her Social Security card. Now, since the license is expired, she has to jump through several hoops to get a new license issued, in a name matching her Social Security card.

I am here to help!!! Call Me! 407-645-3297, even just to say, I saw your note!

Happy New Year

Have you misdated anything yet? I have had to change the 0 of 09 to a 10 at least twice a day since the first. Today, I wrote the full 09 twice and had to rewrite the date. Oops. Mistakes happen.





What does your New Year hold? Do you have plans that require extraordinary effort? You should. Challenge yourself this Year!





Remember, I'm Proud of You!





Actually, "I'm Proud of You" is the title of Tim Madigan's book, subtitled, My Friendship with Fred Rogers. You remember Mr. Rogers. He always told his young viewers, "I'm Proud of You!"





Some people thought Mr. Rogers was too simple and did not teach children much. I remember seeing him as a child and learning that heat rises. I can still duplicate the experiment using cold water in an aquarium and hot colored water in a vial placed at the bottom. When the vial is opened the hot colored water rises to the top. Scientist can explain why, but suffice to say the Hot water has more energy.





People, like energy, can rise to the top as well. Let this be a great year by challenging yourself to Rise to the Top.

This picture shows my son receiving an award from the Mayor of Winter Park. I am Proud!

Call me! Aubrey Ducker 407-645-3297