When Its Over

How do you know when the marriage is truly OVER?

A Few Questions:
Has counseling been attempted, in good faith by both parties?
Has the "objectional conduct" (whether that be financial irresponsibility, adultery, abuse or disrespect) continued despite numerous suggestions, demands, ultimatums, counseling sessions and threats?
Have you put forth every effort to follow the Serenity Prayer?

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Are there things you cannot change that your partner cannot forgive?
Are there things your partner cannot change that you cannot forgive?

If you answer yes to these questions, then it is time for a divorce. Children do not flourish in an environment of discord, anger, mistrust and false security. If you would get divorced but for having children, how does your conflict affect the children?

Most people who call my office either Know their marriage is over, or Want to Know if their marriage can be saved. Unfortunately, Whether their marriage is over or salvageable is one question they have to answer for themselves. If you are looking here for the answer, call me and lets discuss the situation. I'll try to help You find the right answer for You.

Happy Anniversary Baby, Got You on my Mind

21 years ago, I married Laurie. We dated for more than a year and were engaged more than 9 months. At the time, I was a sailor in the U.S. Navy; she was an attorney at the lawfirm of Maguire, Voorhis and Wells in Orlando. I do not know the secret to a happy marriage; in reality I have learned more about marriage from the couples I counsel in Divorce cases. Many petty squabbles will doom any marriage not based in Mutual Love and Respect. Marriage is in fact a Partnership. Both parties must give. How much? Not 50/50. Each party must give 100% effort to the cause for a marriage to last. Even then, health concerns later in life can strain even the best marriage. Practicing in Elder Law and Family Law has allowed me to work with people who after 40, 50 and even 60 years have decided to end their marriage. This truly puts my 21 years into perspective. That said, I love you, Laurie.

Living Will form for a Laugh

I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or doctors interested in simply running up their bills and making money for the hospital. Therefore, if a reasonable amount of time passes (3 days) and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Sex
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Cup of tea
or Chocolate
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!

Custody, timesharing, parenting plans

The Language of Divorce has been changed. No more are there Custodial or Primary Custodial Parents. Now each parent has a timeshareing arrangement intended to provide the maximum contact with the child and lesson hostility and conflict over who has "Custody" or who "makes the Decisions."

In reality, the Florida Legislature in attempting to lower conflict in divorce cases may have inadvertently muddied the waters for a little while. Reality suggests that parenting plans need to be precise to allow the police officer called to the scene to interpret with whom the child should leave the ball field.

All too often, conflict arrises when Dad took little Johnny to the soccer game and Mom arrived to watch. Since it is "Dad's visitation" he wants to take Johnny home to drop him off at Mom's house. Mom naturaly wants to take Johnny home to prevent Dad coming to her house, again, and snooping around who else might be there, or just hanging around hoping to "talk." This scenario plays out in many ways, but the bottom line is:

Precise Parenting Plans Prevent Parental Problems.

Visit me at www.aubreylaw.com for help with your Parenting Plan Problems.

Best Paternity Joke

Who Should Get Custody?

A man and his wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother's attorney leaped to his feet and protested to the judge that since she had carried them for 9 months, diapered their bottoms, taken care of them and generally "brought the children into this world," she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked the man for his justification.

After a long silence, the man's attorney slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Ba da bing . . .

Of course children do not "belong" to either parent. Children are referred to in courts as "Our Children" because to call them "My son/daughter/child" implies an exclusivity of parentage. As everybody knows, it takes two to tango, and if the "tango" results in a child, both parents have responsibilities to care and provide for the child. For help with child support, custody, visitation, alimony, divorce and other family law issues, call an attorney. Or, go to www.aubreylaw.com

Where to go for the information you need

One of the greatest sources for information of any type is the University. In the area of Elder Law, Stetson University is one of the best sources for all information. No matter the question, this site has the answer. http://justice.law.stetson.edu/excellence/elderlaw/eldersites.htm
While the site require some time to locate the particular answer you seek, know every resource available on the subject is found there. If you still have questions, call me or check out one of my websites, www.aubreylaw.com www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw or www.Floridaguardianattorney.com

New Numbers for Medicaid Qualification

Here are some new numbers to update the Medicaid Qualification note earlier:
Community Spouse Resource Allowance: $ 109,560.00
Resource Allowance for an Individual: $ 2,000.00
Resource Allowance for a Couple: (both husband and wife in a nursing home) $ 3,000.00
Minimum Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance: $ 1,750.00
Maximum Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance: $ 2,739.00
Monthly Personal Needs Allowance: $ 35.00
Shelter Allowance: $ 525.00
Standard Utility Allowance: $ 198.00
Divestment Penalty Divisor: $ 5,000.00
Income Cap Amount: $ 2,022.00
Home Equity Limit: $ 500,000.00

Give Gifts with Warm Hands

Heirs only arrive after death. It is much better to give gifts while the recipient can say thank you. Who wants to wait until someone dies in order to inheirit the land, jewelry, and other possessions of life. In my office I meet people very often who want to write a Will. On many occasions it seems people want to allow some decisions about the division of property to be made by the heirs "After I am gone." "Ill let my children figure that out," they will say.

I can honestly say I see nothing worse than putting children to work deciding who gets what after you are gone. Even if they get along great and are perfectly attuned to your wishes, to leave that burden for them is a terrible curse and can be dangerous to your estate. One may not want to take anything, but have regrets later. There may be one item of furniture they both want causing years of mental anguish. Probate costs are minimal with a well-drafted will that leaves nothing to be worried about later. When the Personal Representative or Executor is forced to make judgment decisions, probate costs skyrocket and may take a much greater portion of the estate than would otherwise be required.

Give gifts while you are alive, with "Warm Hands", so that when your hands are cold in death, you may be eulagized as a generous person who thought of others. Don't set up problems for your children. Relieve them of the burdens of probate by making those decisions in your will or prior to your death.

The Most Important Thing

I don't normally like tearjerker stories; however, the following link shows what can happen when Customer Service is taken personally by the lowest of employees.
http://www.stservicemovie.com/

Thanks, Aubrey

P.S. If you want to check out my site, go to www.aubreylaw.com
Thanks

Check out my friend's music

You can listen freely at http://www.myspace.com/voodooaudio

Rob is a great musician.