Brighter Days Ahead

Its raining again. When it Rains, it Pours. Sometimes troubles come, sometimes they stick around a while.

Alzheimers can be like that. It shows up, and won't go away. Many times the "episodes" can be overlooked. It doesn't happen very often, its just a nuissance. Forgetful. Oops.

As people age, some of the normal progressions may become exagerated and excuses become more frequent.

Know when to say when. When you need help, ask. Friends, Family, Organizations and others stand by ready to lend a helping hand. Before it pours. Before you lose control.

Call me. 407-645-3297 at the office. 407-718-5678 is my cell. I am here to help.

Transferring Real Property outside of Probate

Many people want to know, How do I leave my legacy to my children without their having to go through the hassle of Probate. Sometimes the fear of probate is unwarranted. Many times the fear of costs for probate prevent people taking the simple step of calling an attorney to inquire. Remember, if you never ask a question, the answer always remains, "NO".

Probate costs are monitored byt he court, with Judges signing off on most fee applications. Many times an attorney will agree to a lesser rate if he or she has represented you or the decedent in the past.

Sometimes however, an attorney may be able to suggest ways to avoid probate altogether. Instruments such as "Life Estate Deeds" and Lady Bird Deeds may be very useful in allowing a senior to maintain control of their property right up until death, then avoid probate by having it transferred through the prior filed deed. Many times you just have to know what questions to ask.

Friends

Friends are the Family we Choose for ourselves. I hope you have lots of friends. I hope they are the best kind of friends. Friends listen. Friends hear. Friends see. Friends speak. Friends touch. Not just our lives but our very souls.

One of my clients, who is also a friend loaned me this:

If we are dancing, and stepping on each other's toes, we work to not do that anymore, rather than seek out another partner.

I kind of like my version better:

When we dance, if I step on your toes, please don't stop dancing. Just let me know so I can try to dance better. But if you stop dancing with me, the dance may be lost forever.

Speaking engagement on Saturday

My wife will be speaking at the second anniversary of the Professional Men's Christian Fellowship Meeting at Baldwin Park on Saturday, June 13th at 6:30 PM. Having worked with her on the outline for her topic, Spiritual Empowerment During Economic Slowdown or Financial Issues During Recession, I wanted to share some excerpts here.

Personal Skills related to Financial Management

a. Earning potential
i. Education
ii. Training
iii. Ability
iv. Societal Need

b. Personal Management potential
i. Budgeting
ii. Time – everybody gets the same 24 hours per day
iii. Talents – Know which talents serve you best
iv. Treasures – Money Management – Cash Flow
v. Keeping up with the Neighbors – Things – Needs v. Wants

Source of Financial Crisis

A. Spending more than we earn

1. Knowing what we earn
a. Gross Pay – Wages Tips and other Compensation
b. Federal Tax Withheld
c. Social Security Tax Withheld
d. Medicare Tax Withheld
e. Health Insurance Paid by Employer
f. 401K or other Retirement Contributions
g. All other deductions (Union Dues)
h. Net Pay

2. Knowing what we spend
a. Fill up the gas tank
b. Lunch out
c. Dinner out with the family
d. Trip to the Grocery Store
e. “Unexpected Expenditures”
New Tires, brakes, car repairs not covered by the warranty
Medical co-pays
Emergencies

3. Spending Wisely - Budgeting

Customer Service and Community Relations

It Takes a Villiage to Raise a Child. No doubt you heard the title of Hillary Clinton's book published many years ago. She cited the African proverb to show that we are all connected and the success of the least is in many ways related to the success of the whole.

In Winter Park, Florida, many people know Andy. He was adopted about 40 years ago as an infant. As he developed, his parents discovered he was a victim of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. For many years he has been seen riding his shiny red bicycle around the neighborhoods, many people unaware of his disabilities. Sometimes he yells at cars which do not stop at red octagonal signs. Sometimes he yells at people who run or walk in the "bicycle lanes", and sometimes he just yells. He is a wonderfully nice man, but his disability prevents his knowing what to say or not say. If questioned about how he should react to any given situation, he may answer "do what Jesus would do."

He works occasionally at Tijuana Flats, one of my daughter's Favorite Restaurants. he picks up trash and empty trays from tables. He moves chairs in and out and does other odd jobs. One day a customer was upset because of something Andy had said or done. When she approached the manager to express her concern, she told him that if Andy continued to work there, she and her family would not come back. The manager, in true customer service fashion, provided her with a gift certificate to the restaurant and informed her of the other locations around the city where she could dine without having Andy disturb her meal. He also said she was welcome to come back, but would likely find Andy at the restaurant as he was a valued employee.

Last weekend, I saw Andy's parents dropping him off at work on a Saturday. Normally he doesn't work weekends when the restaurant is busier. This day the boss had called him to come in special. He was thrilled. I pray we can all look for the Andy in our life and remember, it takes a villiage.

Great Resources for Family Law Issues

You can always visit my site at http://www.aubreylaw.com/

If you choose, you can visit the site http://lawyers.com/duckerlaw/

If you visited the Lawyers.com site, you might find an update on current family law issues at:

http://lawyers.com/duckerlaw/FamilyLawNewsletter.jsp

Sometimes a little information can help you to ask the right questions.

What do you want to learn?


The Family Law Newsletter is created and maintained by Lexis/Nexis, one of the leaders in Legal Research Sources. Below are some current excerpts:

Juvenile Litigation with Respect to Institutional Confinement Facilities

There are many juveniles that are confined to public and private institutions. Many of the institutions have deplorable conditions. Juveniles are often held in dingy cells or small, dark rooms and are confined for hours, days, or weeks. Often times juveniles are deprived of exercise, recreational activities and schooling. Sometimes juveniles are even supervised by untrained or inadequate staff as well.More...

Child Custody and Religion

Religion is usually not an issue in child custody proceedings, even if the parents practice different religions. For example, if a child has a Christian mother and a Jewish father, a court will not consider the merits of either religion in determining which parent should have custody of the child. The court will grant custody to one parent, or joint custody to both parents, and the child will be exposed to both the mother's religion and the father's religion.More...

Postmarital Agreements

A postmarital agreement, or postnuptial agreement, is an agreement executed by a husband and wife after they are married. More...

Enforcement of Child Support

When a court enters an order of child support, it orders one party to pay a certain sum of money to another for the support of a child. The person who is ordered to pay is called the obligor. The person who received the payment is the obligee. The amount of child support that is payable is usually based on state law that takes into consideration the number of children for which an obligor is responsible and the amount of income the obligor earns from all sources. More...

Adoption and Safe Families Act - Overview

In 1997, the United States Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA). The ASFA was enacted to modify and clarify certain requirements of the Adoption Assistance and Child Welfare Act, a federal law enacted in 1980, and the Family Preservation and Support Services Act, a federal law enacted in 1984. More...

When Its Over

How do you know when the marriage is truly OVER?

A Few Questions:
Has counseling been attempted, in good faith by both parties?
Has the "objectional conduct" (whether that be financial irresponsibility, adultery, abuse or disrespect) continued despite numerous suggestions, demands, ultimatums, counseling sessions and threats?
Have you put forth every effort to follow the Serenity Prayer?

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Are there things you cannot change that your partner cannot forgive?
Are there things your partner cannot change that you cannot forgive?

If you answer yes to these questions, then it is time for a divorce. Children do not flourish in an environment of discord, anger, mistrust and false security. If you would get divorced but for having children, how does your conflict affect the children?

Most people who call my office either Know their marriage is over, or Want to Know if their marriage can be saved. Unfortunately, Whether their marriage is over or salvageable is one question they have to answer for themselves. If you are looking here for the answer, call me and lets discuss the situation. I'll try to help You find the right answer for You.

Happy Anniversary Baby, Got You on my Mind

21 years ago, I married Laurie. We dated for more than a year and were engaged more than 9 months. At the time, I was a sailor in the U.S. Navy; she was an attorney at the lawfirm of Maguire, Voorhis and Wells in Orlando. I do not know the secret to a happy marriage; in reality I have learned more about marriage from the couples I counsel in Divorce cases. Many petty squabbles will doom any marriage not based in Mutual Love and Respect. Marriage is in fact a Partnership. Both parties must give. How much? Not 50/50. Each party must give 100% effort to the cause for a marriage to last. Even then, health concerns later in life can strain even the best marriage. Practicing in Elder Law and Family Law has allowed me to work with people who after 40, 50 and even 60 years have decided to end their marriage. This truly puts my 21 years into perspective. That said, I love you, Laurie.

Living Will form for a Laugh

I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or doctors interested in simply running up their bills and making money for the hospital. Therefore, if a reasonable amount of time passes (3 days) and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Sex
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Cup of tea
or Chocolate
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!

Custody, timesharing, parenting plans

The Language of Divorce has been changed. No more are there Custodial or Primary Custodial Parents. Now each parent has a timeshareing arrangement intended to provide the maximum contact with the child and lesson hostility and conflict over who has "Custody" or who "makes the Decisions."

In reality, the Florida Legislature in attempting to lower conflict in divorce cases may have inadvertently muddied the waters for a little while. Reality suggests that parenting plans need to be precise to allow the police officer called to the scene to interpret with whom the child should leave the ball field.

All too often, conflict arrises when Dad took little Johnny to the soccer game and Mom arrived to watch. Since it is "Dad's visitation" he wants to take Johnny home to drop him off at Mom's house. Mom naturaly wants to take Johnny home to prevent Dad coming to her house, again, and snooping around who else might be there, or just hanging around hoping to "talk." This scenario plays out in many ways, but the bottom line is:

Precise Parenting Plans Prevent Parental Problems.

Visit me at www.aubreylaw.com for help with your Parenting Plan Problems.