Each morning when we can, my wife and I watch the Today Show www.today.com , together. We usually record it and shrink the viewing time to about 25 minutes by skipping all the commercials and teasers. Today had already planned a series this week on Marriage, and by a look at the news recently, their timing could not have been better.
After last weeks Ashley Madison Hacker scandal we keep seeing famous and not so famous people being caught up in the carnage. From politicians and Duggars( http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/20/us/josh-duggar-ashley-madison/ ) to political cartoons ( ), the fallout continues. This morning brought the first report of two apparent suicides related to revelations of the hackers. http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2015/08/24/world/americas/24reuters-ashleymadison-cybersecurity-suicides.html
Now a former employee of Ashley Madison claims the website actually made up many of the women listed as interested in affairs. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3206846/Hacked-adultery-website-Ashley-Madison-created-hundreds-fake-female-profiles-lure-male-customers-claims-former-employee.html while The Week profiles a british writer who claims there are just as many women who want to have affairs as men. http://theweek.com/articles/573446/why-are-denying-that-women-used-ashley-madison
Locally, our own State Attorney Jeff Ashton had to schedule a news conference this past Sunday to say he had done no wrong and the only person he had to explain himself to was the mother of his children.
Finally, in case you are wondering about Central Florida, the following link contains 4,589 individual entries, including names, addresses and web addresses from the Orlando area. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10VMj6xx85aPyY4MocEEnpYwkbCAsG483JK8aQ3pMQoo/htmlview?pli=1
Thanks to "Life has a Restart Button" Walter Benenati, http://www.407bankrupt.com/
But enough about Affairs!
This week Today is featuring ideas and answers to help strengthen your marriage. This morning's segment begins with the "Summer of Celebrity Breakups" and asks if these high-profile breakups mean all marriages are in trouble? Not really says the expert. Northwestern University's professor Eli Finkel.
http://www.today.com/health/3-tips-make-your-marriage-stronger-happier-ever-t40261
Marriages are stronger than ever in some cases. Here are a few examples:
How about a 100 year old couple who have been married 75 years! Congratulations: http://www.today.com/news/100-year-old-couple-celebrates-love-75-years-after-saying-t40396
Celine Dion proves her love by vowing she will take care of her cancer stricken husband until he dies in her arms here: http://www.today.com/health/celine-dion-opens-about-husbands-illness-hell-die-my-arms-t40551
And a couple in Toronto held the grooms funeral on the date they originally intended for the wedding when he lost his long battle with cancer. http://www.today.com/health/after-dream-ceremony-mans-funeral-held-what-should-have-been-t40356
And people are still getting married (though I hope they are consulting attorneys for prenuptial agreements because sometimes these are needed and many times they create a dialogue that needs to occur.)
Sofia Vergara is getting married and made the cover of several magazines. http://www.today.com/style/see-sofia-vergara-try-gorgeous-wedding-dresses-t40371
Alison Brie and Dave Franco got engaged. http://www.today.com/popculture/alison-brie-dave-franco-get-engaged-mad-men-star-shows-t40591
For so many, Marriage is a lifelong goal. For others, marriage is not so serious. Where do you fit in? If your marriage is in need of help, watch the Today Show this week. Try the advice of professionals. Work as hard at your marriage as you do at your work.
If these ideas are not your idea of the right direction, perhaps it is time to think about divorce and how you get out of a bad situation. Collaborative Divorce works for many families with children, significant assets or PRIVACY concerns. Or, if you just need to know the options, call me.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Ashley Madison Matters, Even in a No Fault State
Advertising online for an affair:
had dumped all the data.
The Ashley Madison hack includes customer names, credit card data, physical addresses and sexual preferences. Some users were smart enough to use fake names. But financial data is legitimate.
Well thanks to CNN Money, you can find out Why Spouses Cheat: http://money.cnn.com/video/technology/2015/07/20/why-your-spouse-cheats.cnnmoney?iid=EL
You can read the online report here:
http://money.cnn.com/2015/08/19/technology/ashley-madison-search/index.html
Actually CNN Money is not posting the link, but if you really want to search, several other sites included searchable links including the New York Daily News: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/check-email-part-ashley-madison-hack-article-1.2331250
IBTimes: http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/ashley-madison-hack-how-search-adultery-website-data-leak-see-if-your-details-are-there-1516183
and of course, Wired.com: http://www.wired.com/2015/08/check-loved-one-exposed-ashley-madison-hack/
As Jennifer Weiner of the New York Times said, "I can’t believe I’m paying the salaries of government workers who weren’t clever enough to get new emails to deceive their spouses." http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/20/opinion/the-ashley-madison-hack-shows-were-too-dumb-to-cheat.html?_r=0
Lets all just take a step back. Florida is a No-Fault State. So why does it matter if your spouse was playing around or surfing Ashley Madison's directory?
For starters the paternalistic legislature years ago included Adultery as a FACTOR for calculating and awarding Alimony. No Wonder the Legislature now wants to do away with Permanent Alimony.
Under the Florida Statutes, if a person seeks alimony but dissipated marital assets to have an affair, the alimony claim may be lessened, or negated altogether. Here is what statute section 61.08 actually says: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.08.html
"The court may consider the adultery of either spouse and the circumstances thereof in determining the amount of alimony, if any, to be awarded."
This is in the middle of the FIRST paragraph on alimony.
This little sentence is followed by requirements for the court to first evaluate Need of the one seeking Alimony; the court must also find the Payor has the Ability to Pay.
Once the court finds Need and Ability to Pay, the court has to determine the appropriate alimony award using another TEN Factors.
The TEN Factors must be evaluated across the several types of alimony available including, Permanent, Durational, Bridge-the-gap, and Rehabilitative. The court may also award Lump Sum Alimony from assets used for Equitable Distribution.
Unfortunately, most people read the little paragraph about Adultery as a VETO of Alimony. Not really the case. Over the many years since the statutes were enacted, many changes have come both from the legislature and from courts.
When you have concerns, seek advice from a trusted legal professional. Ask an attorney you trust how the court might view your unique situation.
Most of all, if you are married, stay off Ashley Madison and similar sites.
Call me at 407-645-3297 when you have questions. You can also visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
Peace!
Life is short. Have an affair.
News came out this week that the Hackers who cracked the Ashley Madison Website http://www.ashleymadison.comhad dumped all the data.
The Ashley Madison hack includes customer names, credit card data, physical addresses and sexual preferences. Some users were smart enough to use fake names. But financial data is legitimate.
Well thanks to CNN Money, you can find out Why Spouses Cheat: http://money.cnn.com/video/technology/2015/07/20/why-your-spouse-cheats.cnnmoney?iid=EL
You can read the online report here:
http://money.cnn.com/2015/08/19/technology/ashley-madison-search/index.html
Actually CNN Money is not posting the link, but if you really want to search, several other sites included searchable links including the New York Daily News: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/check-email-part-ashley-madison-hack-article-1.2331250
IBTimes: http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/ashley-madison-hack-how-search-adultery-website-data-leak-see-if-your-details-are-there-1516183
and of course, Wired.com: http://www.wired.com/2015/08/check-loved-one-exposed-ashley-madison-hack/
As Jennifer Weiner of the New York Times said, "I can’t believe I’m paying the salaries of government workers who weren’t clever enough to get new emails to deceive their spouses." http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/20/opinion/the-ashley-madison-hack-shows-were-too-dumb-to-cheat.html?_r=0
Lets all just take a step back. Florida is a No-Fault State. So why does it matter if your spouse was playing around or surfing Ashley Madison's directory?
For starters the paternalistic legislature years ago included Adultery as a FACTOR for calculating and awarding Alimony. No Wonder the Legislature now wants to do away with Permanent Alimony.
Under the Florida Statutes, if a person seeks alimony but dissipated marital assets to have an affair, the alimony claim may be lessened, or negated altogether. Here is what statute section 61.08 actually says: http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.08.html
"The court may consider the adultery of either spouse and the circumstances thereof in determining the amount of alimony, if any, to be awarded."
This is in the middle of the FIRST paragraph on alimony.
This little sentence is followed by requirements for the court to first evaluate Need of the one seeking Alimony; the court must also find the Payor has the Ability to Pay.
Once the court finds Need and Ability to Pay, the court has to determine the appropriate alimony award using another TEN Factors.
The TEN Factors must be evaluated across the several types of alimony available including, Permanent, Durational, Bridge-the-gap, and Rehabilitative. The court may also award Lump Sum Alimony from assets used for Equitable Distribution.
Unfortunately, most people read the little paragraph about Adultery as a VETO of Alimony. Not really the case. Over the many years since the statutes were enacted, many changes have come both from the legislature and from courts.
When you have concerns, seek advice from a trusted legal professional. Ask an attorney you trust how the court might view your unique situation.
Most of all, if you are married, stay off Ashley Madison and similar sites.
Call me at 407-645-3297 when you have questions. You can also visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com
Peace!
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No matter how dark the night!