Choosing
a collaborative divorce over ending your marriage in the courtroom can save you time, money,
and stress. Simply making the choice to divorce this way is not a guarantee
that the divorce will be easy, though. You can make mistakes during your
collaborative divorce that set the process back, cost you money, and can make
it impossible to complete the process. Understanding these mistakes before you
begin the divorce process is the key to avoiding them.
Number 1: Refusing to Compromise with your Spouse
A
collaborative divorce only works when you are willing to compromise with your
spouse. Before your first collaborative divorce meeting, sit with your lawyer
and make a list of your priorities for the divorce, ranked from highest to
lowest. Brainstorm the compromises you are willing to make and those on which
you stand firm. If you are not willing to budge at all, you will not be able to
reach a mutually satisfying settlement.
#2: Being So Willing to Compromise that you
Do Not Advocate for Yourself
The
opposite of refusing to budge on your priorities is being so willing to
acquiesce to your spouse that you come away from the divorce with nothing you
wanted. Remember, this is your divorce too. These are your marital assets, your
children, and your future. Be willing to advocate for yourself and know when to
put your foot down.
3: Not Taking Care to Anticipate and Manage
Disagreements
You
should know where you and your spouse stand on issues like alimony and
parenting time before you start working on your collaborative divorce. When you
identify your priorities with your lawyer, brainstorm ways to resolve the
conflicts that you think will arise. Talk about these conflict resolution
strategies with your spouse before the meetings as well and stick to the
resolution protocol that you establish.
4. Being Unrealistic About your Divorce’s
Outcome
Your
lawyer can help you bring your expectations for the divorce in a realistic
direction. Unless your spouse is violent, suffers from a crippling addiction,
or otherwise puts your children in danger when they are together, chances are
you will not have sole custody of the children. Similarly, do not expect to
come away from the divorce with all of your marital assets simply because you
worked outside the home while your spouse worked as a homemaker. You are both
entitled to a fair share of your marital assets and the opportunity to maintain
a consistent relationship with your children. Enter the divorce process knowing
that although you will probably not get exactly what you want, you can work
with your spouse to reach a settlement that gets you pretty close.
Ok, how about a 5th? Not working with an Experienced Collaborative Attorney
Work with an Experienced Winter Park
Collaborative Divorce Lawyer
A
collaborative divorce is a great way to complete the divorce process in an
amicable, stress-free way. If you are interested in ending your marriage
through this process instead of the traditional courtroom divorce, contact The
Law Offices of Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., P.L.C. today to schedule your initial
consultation with an experienced collaborative
divorce lawyer in Winter Park.
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