Talking to Your Spouse about Collaborative Divorce

When you have reached a point in your marriage where you know it is over, it is not always easy to have calm, grounded conversations with your partner.  
                                      
If you can manage to speak amicably, you can make the divorce process much easier for yourselves. One significant way you can make the divorce process easier is to choose a collaborative divorce.

If your spouse is not familiar with the concept of collaborative divorce, discuss it. Get all the information you can and have a kitchen table talk. There are many benefits for you both if you choose this type of divorce. Below are a few tips you can use to start and work through this discussion.

Present it in an Objective Way

Rather than trying to convince your spouse that a collaborative divorce is best for you, present it in an objective way. Contrast collaborative divorce with a traditional courtroom divorce and mediation, which could also be a route to explore for your divorce. Talk about the processes associated with each. Consider the costs of each. Consider where these costs will be paid.

Discuss the Benefits of Collaborative Divorce for your Divorce

Consider discussing the benefits of collaborative divorce in an objective way, like citing cost comparisons between the different divorce methods. During this discussion, bring up the reasons why you feel a collaborative divorce is ideal for you, which could be your ability to work together amicably or your desire to split your marital assets in a specific way, making it necessary that you retain control of the divorce process. Your reasons might not be more specific than that you want to save money, and there is nothing wrong with that. Your reasons for wanting to try collaboration are valid, as are any hesitations your spouse might have.

Encourage your Spouse to Do His or Her Own Research

You cannot decide how you will divorce on your own. Give your spouse the time to do his or her own research on the process and if he or she raises objections, listen to them. Your spouse might have a very different point of view about your marriage and how well you can be served by a collaborative divorce. It is important that you remember not to try to convince your spouse to agree to a collaborative divorce because it is what you want, but to work with him or her to determine the ideal divorce method for your divorce. If you cannot reach this initial agreement amicably, collaborative divorce probably is not right for you.

Work with an Experienced Winter Park Divorce Lawyer

If you are considering using collaborative law to end your marriage, work with a divorce lawyer who has experience handling collaborative divorces. Even though you are in control of the divorce when you choose collaboration, your lawyer can provide you with the essential legal advice and representation you need to successfully complete the process. To get started, contact The Law Offices of Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr., P.L.C. today to set up your flat-rate consultation with us, either in our office or at your preferred location.

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What to Take to a Meeting with an Attorney

On the phone many first-time callers will inquire as to what items to bring. Obviously the answer depends largely on the needs of the client.

If I am meeting as an Elder Law Attorney, I expect to see a complete picture of the financial and medical needs of the client. That means: bring copies of the most recent bank statements, investment account statements, and Social Security Statements; bring some knowledge of the persons physical abilities and limitations, and most of all, bring honesty.

The Elder Law Attorney must have a complete and ACCURATE picture of the clients needs as well as resources. Sometimes a client may not want to disclose all assets, which can be a real hindrance to qualifying for Medicaid. If the true picture is known the attorney's advice will be remarkably different from that given on limited facts.

When I meet with clients in divorce situations as a Family Law Attorney, I expect to see a complete picture of the Marital Difficulties, Financial Assets, Financial Needs and family needs of the client. This means you should bring: at least 3 months of Bank Statements and Credit Card statements, for both parties if possible; bring a list of all Real Property owned by the parties, whether jointly owned or not (sometimes people are confused as to what constitutes Marital Property under Florida Law); a list of IMPORTANT Personal possessions, and as before, HONESTY.

A Family Law attorney cannot fix all the problems and if you bring a jaded 1/2 picture of the issues, your attorney may miss important points of advice. If you believe your spouse is unreasonable in negotiations, the Specialist in Family law may make different recommendations. So many times people think a previously unreasonable spouse will want to "work things out for the children" once the divorce is filed. Most times the stress of a litigation brings out the worst character traits in people, not the most altruistic.

Finally, bring a method of payment. If an attorney offers a Free Consultation take it, but most good attorneys do not give their advice away during Free Consulations. Better to pay a fee and get real advice and counsel than to take the Free Consultation only to spend an hour telling the attorney of the problem and have no idea of the attorney's opinion at the end. My office takes Cash, Checks and most major Credit Cards. A Consultation normally lasts TWO hours but I typically charge for one hour of time. Flat Fee Services are available as well.

Call me for an appointment, 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com