Aubrey's Law Blog

Great Article on Collaborative Divorce

2011-11-18T12:19:00.004-05:00

Occasionally, I like to post links to articles worth reading. This is one: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lynn-j-maier-esq/saving-your-sanity-with-c_b_1077335.html

When divorce is the choice, how you go about it matters. Collaborative Divorce is a method of practice that allows the parties, with the help of their attorneys and other professionals, to decide all issues in ways that benefit their family rather than fighting until a court decides in a manner consistent with the thousands of cases also fighting to a decision.

Don't you know what is best for your family? Collaborative Divorce allows you to play a major part in the decision making process. More so that even mediation.

When you need help, Call me! 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Legislators Vote Against Seniors

2011-10-07T12:20:00.004-04:00

When the U.S. Government provides a program funding care for seniors, states should accept the money and care for seniors. Begun in 2005 under President George W. Bush, the "Money Follows the Person" was designed to allow seniors in nursing homes to transfer home and still receive some level of care through continued Medicaid Funding.

The cost of nursing home care averages more than $5,000 per month; seniors' cost of care is Very Expensive.

BUT, how much more expensive is it to care for seniors in their own home rather than in a nursing home? NOT you might answer. Many seniors could remain in their home or return to their home, but for lack of funding. Medicaid will pay for the nursing home care, but it is very difficult to gain the same level of care at home without Medicaid assistance.

On June 24 this year, the Florida Legislative Budget Commission voted to REJECT $35.7 Million to fund care for seniors in their home. As Florida has one of the Highest Per Capita Populations of Seniors, you would think the Legislature would accept money from a program set up by President George W. Bush. Not so in today's political landscape. The Budget Committee voted to reject the federal money as "duplicative" of state programs and funding. Representatives Ed Hooper, Mike Horner, Matt Hudson, Don Gaetz, Garrett Richter, Stephen Wise, Rob Shenk and Denile Grimsley, all Republicans, voted AGAINST acceptance of the federal money.

When you are trying to find care for your senior adult, it is imperative that all resources be counted to see if they qualify for Medicaid. Unfortunately, "all sources of income" are NOT counted, or even accepted, by the state when they seek to balance the budget.

If you have a senior in need of nursing home care, selecting the right attorney practicing in Elder Law can be challenging. Please call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to speaking with you.

Change to Social Security Hours

2011-10-05T12:22:00.003-04:00

In case you missed it, the Social Security Administration announced a change effective August 15 of this year. The announcement will no doubt affect services provided by attorneys as well as the Social Security Office. If your Elder Law Attorney or Family Law Attorney must deal with Social Security Issues as well, this is Not a welcome change. The announcement follows:

Effective August 15, 2011, Social Security field offices nationwide will close to the public 30 minutes early each day. For example, a field office that is usually open to the public Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. will close daily at 3:30 p.m.

“While agency employees will continue to work their regular hours, this shorter public window will allow us to complete face-to-face service with the visiting public without incurring the cost of overtime for our employees,” said Michael J. Astrue, Commissioner of Social Security. “Congress provided our agency with nearly $1 billion less than the President requested for our budget this fiscal year, which makes it impossible for us to provide the amount of overtime needed to handle service to the public as we have in the past.”

Most Social Security services do not require a visit to an office. For example, anyone wishing to apply for benefits, sign up for direct deposit, replace a Medicare card, obtain a proof of income letter or inform us of a change of address or telephone number may do so at http://www.socialsecurity.gov/ or by dialing our toll-free number: 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778).

In Elder Law, Family Law and Divorce, many people have to discuss how to allocate Social Security Benefits paid to children or dependents. Sometimes these are the only assets or income for the family. If you need help, Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to hearing from you. Aubrey

Alimony, Child Support and Show Me the Money

2011-09-27T14:57:00.001-04:00

Alimony, Child Support and paying bills go hand in hand. How do you move from one house to two, and pay twice as many bills with the same incomes? That is the most difficult question in Family Law. The reality is two households cannot have the same lifestyle enjoyed prior to splitting up. Financial affidavits showing twice as many bills from the same resources make poor budget plans.

This is your decision, but it will affect your children, your future and their future. Choosing the right attorney in your area is crucial. To maximize child support and alimony, you must thoroughly prepare and present your case to the judge or magistrate. Preparation for hearings also prepares you for mediation. Ultimately, you must decide how best to invest your fortune and you will be the one to suffer any poor choices.

Guardianship, Conservatorship and Rights

2011-09-27T13:40:00.012-04:00

The Orange County Bar Association, Solo and Small Firm Committee met in Orlando today to discuss Basic Guardianships. I always enjoy a refresher course, so I attended. Wow! OK, so I knew most of this, but its nice to meet other attorneys for lunch and have an excuse to add a refresher to my Blog.

In Florida, any adult can file a Petition to Determine Incapacity against any other adult. This is coupled with a Petition to Appoint Guardian so the Alleged Incapacitated Person, or Proposed Ward, can be protected. But Protected from what?

As we age, our brains may not function correctly in all instances. Sometimes, Alzheimers, Dememtia, stroke or other disease may render one incapable of understanding the dangers of everyday living. When a person is incapacitated so they are a danger to themselves, the court can step in and remove some of their rights in order to protect them from self-inflicted harm. The harm may be physical in nature, or financial.

Many people try to take advantage of these normal aging processes and financially exploit seniors. Sometimes even family is guilty of exploitation. In fact, Many times the person being exploited is a close relation to the abuser. Financial exploitation IS ABUSE!

Once the Petition is filed, the court appoints a 3-person committee to evaluated the "Proposed Ward," or "Allegedly Incapacitate Person" to determine whether the AIP is competent to make life decisions. The 3 person "Examining Committee" includes two doctors and one layperson with experience in Elder Affairs. Llife decisions that may be impaired by the court include such major decisions as voting, marriage, living arrangements, donations to religious organizations, medications, surgeries. No less important are decisions involving who may visit the ward or where the ward may travel with visitors.

The Court also appoints an Attorney Ad Litem to represent the AIP or Proposed Ward. Sometimes the AIP has a longstanding relationship with an attorney who will represent him in the proceedings. Either way, the Proposed Ward is protected so that rights are only removed to the most limited extent necessary to protect the Ward. Often the Proposed Ward will have completed a Durable Power of Attorney that obviates the need of a Guardianship proceeding; a Preneed Guardianship is also available to help lower the cost of eventual Guardianship Proceedings.

If you have a Power of Attorney, it must be Durable in order to continue operation once a person is found to be incapacitated or what we think of as incompetent. If you thought everything was honky dorey, then watch out! Powers of Attorney come in many shapes and sizes and can even be purchased at Home Depot, Lowes, OfficeMax, Target and Walmart. They are NOT all the same. They are Legal Documents that include required formalities in the signing. I have had more than one client who brought a "Durable Power of Attorney" that was improper and ineffective. People have signed in the wrong space, forgotten to notarize signatures, "checked" the wrong box, and even paid an attorney for a "Durable" power of attorney which expired at incapacity. Please seek help in evaluating your needs.

If you have read this far, you may wonder what all these protections cost. A Durable Power of Attorney is certainly the least expensive.
Guardianships may cost between $1,500 minimum and several tens of thousands when competing interests are active in contesting the Guardianship. The filing fees alone are more than $600. Payment for the Examining Committee (between $850 and $1,500) and Attorney Ad Litem (between $500 and $5,000) make the process appear expensive to some. When you consider that a person is potentially losing their rights as a citizen, you may better understand the expense. Obviously your selection of an attorney is one critical factor in controlling these costs and making the necessary legal filings as efficient as possible.

When you have questions about the competence of your parents or elderly neighbors, Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

I didn't mean to Scare you!

2011-09-20T10:06:00.011-04:00

"Congratulations, you are officially Divorced!" I said to my client.

"Thank you, you are Awesome," she said. (Really, that is what she said!)

"I am so glad we were able to get this done so quickly," I replied.

"Well after you scared me that first day, I did not have any unrealistic expectations and we could just get it done."

I really did not mean to Scare my client. I have always prided myself on being direct and honest with clients so they know what to expect from the Divorce Process and from the court system. I really don't want to scare anyone. Sometimes, clients come in my door having talked to not only other lawyers, but to friends and family who "know what to expect" and know "all the tricks in the book." Unfortunately, what is heard from your friend about their divorce may be colored and biased by their experience. They may feel the need to project unusual success or even put upon martyrdom. All the stories may in fact NOT be completely true.

Common myths include:

"My divorce only cost $250."

"I didn't have to pay a penny in alimony/child support."

"My wife/husband got the kids, the house, and all my money."

"My husband/wife tried to get the kids just to force me to settle for less."

"I never get to see my kid's, their father/mother keeps them from me."

"My divorce cost us more than $100,000."

"Our attorneys were the only ones happy after our Final Judgment."

When your friends tell you these things, you really have to ask more questions and compare their life experience and marriage to your own before setting up your expectations.

Divorce filings cost $408.00 in all Florida courts. What your attorney charges is determined by many factors including time, experience, complexity, and most importantly, who is on the other side of the litigation.

Whether you have to pay Alimony or Child Support is entirely driven by the family situation inlcuding many different factors: length of marriage; number of children; earning ability of each party; lifestyle, and most importantly, what you are willing to accept or pay, just to name a few.

Negotiation over child custody, what we now refer to as "Timesharing," is remarkably direct. Who is best able to care for and keep the children? Who has done so consistently in the past? When one parent wants to "claim the children" as a negotiation ploy, it is imperative that the court be fully informed. A Guardian Ad Litem or GAL is essential to fully inform the court and make sure the children are represented both at the bargaining table of Mediation or in court. Parents who would use the children as pawns in a game, are not good parents, and GAL's are adept as seeing through people's behaviors to their motivations and goals.

If your divorce costs too much money, ask yourself who is causing the excess expenses? Even the most complex divorce can be handled in a reasonable amount of time and for a reasonable fee by seeking out attorneys who do not set up unreasonable expectations which must then be met or attempted. Collaborative Divorce is a great idea for those with very complex situations as it brings all decision makers to the table routinely, rather than filing, and waiting, and responding and waiting, and hearing, and waiting, etc.

If you have questions regarding Divorce, Child Support, Collaborative Divorce, Alimony, Spousal Support, Custody, Timesharing or any other Family Law matter, please visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or call me at 407-645-5264. I will be happy to review your situation with you and most of all, I will try not to "scare" you! Aubrey

Cutthroat Legal Practice

2011-09-08T14:05:00.003-04:00

When I hear of a "Cutthroat Attorney," I wonder, "who asked for that?" Admission to the Florida Bar requires an Oath, which states in part, "I will abstain from all offensive personality . . . unless required by the justice of the cause with which I am charged." Its possible you have heard stories of lawyers who need to review this oath again, perhaps daily.

Why people in court would want "the meanest, nastiest attorney they can find" escapes me. If you are known by the company you keep, well, lets just say, I prefer to keep company with the very best people around.

I have known attorneys who were easy to work with, and I have known lawyers who could not agree the sky is blue. Those who are easy to work with, I routinely mention to clients I am unable to assist. Attorneys who cannot agree on anything, I trust can survive without my assistance.

The meanest, nastiest attorneys tend to drive up litigation costs without significant benefit to their clients, while those attorneys who work with the other side and try to resolve conflicts tend to help their clients through the litigation process. We have all heard stories of divorces costing more than 20 or 30 THOUSAND dollars. I truly believe "Who wins" is NOT really as important as "If or Where" your children attend college.

Attorneys who know how to work with opposing counsel tend to achieve better results overall whether through settlement or in trial, in my humble opinion. Some of the most aggressive litigators in the Orlando area have been the easiest to work with when their clients have modest means. That is to say, even the nastiest attorneys can agree when they are not being paid well. I find this disappointing. If the client's goals are reasonable, why should the litigation change based on the attorney's paycheck?

Perhaps I am being obtuse. I think a fair price for an honest days work should be everyone's goal.

If you need an attorney, call me. 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Attorney Suspended for Loan Modification Business

2011-08-29T09:59:00.004-04:00

The August 15th, Florida Bar News reported an attorney in South Florida was suspended for operating a Loan Modification Business with several non-lawyers. The Lawyer admitted to the Bar that he had between 2,500 and 3,000 cases, so many he did not know all of his clients or the status of their cases.

Talk about Too Big to Fail!

The Florida Supreme Court granted an Emergency Suspension because the facts clearly and convincingly established the lawyer was causeing "great public harm."

What do you do when the Lawyer you trust to assist in your time of need, becomes the problem?

The Lawyer in question charged his clients between $1,500 and $3,000 in "up front fees" which the non-lawyers primarily set in each case. Worse, the lawyer was paid more than $26,000 in fees by another law firm to take over its cases. The non-lawyers solicited clients on behalf of the lawyer on a nationwide basis, even though the lawyer is only admitted to practice in the State of Florida.

The hiring of an attorney is an important matter that should not be based solely on advertising.

Selecting an attorney should certainly not be based on nonattorney solicitation. When you hire an attorney, you are establishing a relationship time-tested by the courts to protect you. Decisions should be based on referrals from other attorneys, trusted friends or colleagues, and most of all, the attorney's ability to handle your problem in a time effective manner. You are the final link; you must have a comfort that this is the attorney for you.

My practice has included Elder Law, Family Law and Guardianships for more than 10 years. The current recession has required that I also include Mortgage Modification and Foreclosure Defense for many of my clients. Further, I have been somewhat involved in assisting the Bankruptcy Court of the Middle District of Florida in establishing the Mortgage Modification Mediation Program, one of only three in the country, and one of the most effective programs nationwide addressing the Mortgage Foreclosure Crisis.

If you need assistance in any area I practice; Divorce, Guardianship, Probate, Custody, Medicaid Qualification, Timesharing, or Domestic Violence Injunctions, please call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/

I look forward to hearing from you.

Football Season Starts Tonight

2011-08-25T13:41:00.003-04:00

The Winter Park Wildcats take on East Ridge at Showalter Field at 7 p.m. The game was moved up due to Hurricane Irene. Families working together for years get to see the first efforts of their children on the field as they Cheer for the Team or Play on the Field.

Unfortunately, there will be some children whose parents cannot put aside their differences and attend the event without causing great stress to everyone else involved. You know the type, all they do is talk about how bad the other parent is. Why do people think that the world wants to know the "hell" they endured being married? Please do your child a favor. Do not disparage your former spouse in any way that the child can know. If you take the high road, perhaps the other party will abandon the low road as well.

I personally know parents who will attend tonight's game and sit in the stands very close to their former spouse without any hint of conflict. I know parents who will work together in the concession stand or on the field to support the team even though they could not stay together in their marriage. I applaud these efforts.

Many other people will be watching the game while thinking of their own parents, relatives or friends who are diabled by age, dementia, alzheimers, or other problems. These parents may not know there is help available. Please reach out and ask questions. There are resources available and people who know how to access those resources for your benefit.

If I can help, please call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

When do you Call a Lawyer?

2011-08-19T07:05:00.003-04:00

The time is NOW! If you are wondering whether or not to call a lawyer, an attorney or as I prefer, Counselor at Law, then you should call. We are here to answer your questions.

Many people will ask their friends, family, and even strangers on the street what they think of a problem.

Lawyers are trained to answer questions of a legal nature. Attorneys are adept at asking the followup questions that provide real meaning to the questions. Counselors at Law can help you interpret and apply the law to your situation in a way you may have not considered and can discuss the impact decisions may have on other areas of your life. In Central Florida, one attorney advertise on TV that "a free 5 minute call will answer all your questions." If that is true, Call!

In my practice most questions are more involved than a short phone call. They usually involve multiple family members and the impact on each can be different. In Divorce, the children must be a consideration. In Elder Law, the Parents are ususally the major consideration. Guardianships can affect many different life decisions.

If you have questions of a legal nature, Call an attorney.

Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or call me at 407-645-3297. Make an appointment to come in and review your situation and the many different ways and possible outcomes that can relieve the stress you are feeling. Aubrey

Let's try to work without argument

2011-08-15T13:54:00.002-04:00

When you receive an email, does it make you sweat? If an ex-husband sends an email, do you just hate to read it? When your ex-wife sends a text message, does your pulse and blood pressure go up dramatically?

Communication with a former spouse can cause all manner of physical impacts. Blood pressure and heart palpitations are certainly extreme examples, but what can you do when you are required to communicate with a former spouse about the children and it really is difficult?

Inevitably, you will offer to pick up the children at 4 and he insists it be 5:30. You offer to feed the children dinner and she insists she has already prepared their meal. Sometimes there was a good reason you got divorced in the first place, and the ongoing communication necessary to coparenting is difficult.

In divorce, communications may stray from the business at hand to rehashing old arguments, lobbing the same tired insults, or making the same veiled threats that began the process initially.

Sometimes the problem is not communication, but many urgent emails and text messages demanding answers ASAP! What do you do when you receive 5 emails before you have even read the first one? Or, you change plans based on one email only to have a followup email request a different plan.

Try this: Send an email saying, "From now on I will read all emails from you at 4:30 p.m. To the extent I can respond, I will; however, if you choose to insult, threaten or otherwise abuse the privilege I will stop reading and will simply forward to my attorneyfor a response to your attorney. Please send only important communications regarding our children. Thank you for your understanding." By setting ground rules for communication, many problems can be avoided. Additionally, if abuse via email is attempted, your attorney is the best person to address the problem.

Remember, if you keep doing what you have always done, you will keep getting what you have always received.

If you have questions, Please call me at 407-645-3297, visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or send an email to: aubrey@aubreylaw.com

Aubrey Ducker

The Law Offices of

Aubrey Harry Ducker, Jr. PLC

2020 Mizell Avenue

Winter Park, FL 32792

www.aubreylaw.com

Fla. Bar No.: 173680

Phone: 407-645-3297

Fax: 407-645-3298

I look forward to hearing from you.

Collaborative Law in Orlando and Winter Park

2011-08-10T12:05:00.007-04:00

July 15 and 16, I attended the Interdisciplinary Collaborative Law Training at the University of Florida Levin College of Law. While I relish any opportunity to return to law school, this trip was particularly helpful. Co-Sponsored by the Institute for Dispute Resolution and the Center on Children and Families, the Gainesville Collaborative Divorce team spent two full days reviewing the Who, what, when and where, as well as the hows and whys of Collaborative Divorce.

For almost 12 years as an attorney, I have always tried to work in a cooperative way with other lawyers. I find little is solved by acrimonious debate as harsh litigation tends to prolong litigation and impoverish the parties more than solve the issue at hand. While I have always tried to be cooperative, I have never been "officially" trained as a "Collaborative Attorney."

Not anymore. There are new tools in the shed. There are many more choices when considering divorce. Ask yourself, what is best for my family?

In law school at the University of Florida, Dean Richard Matasar stressed the collaborative process as a way to make the practice of law more fulfilling to attorneys. Many of us got into this practice because we want to help people; unfortunately, for many people, divorce is the most disagreeable practice in law. Dean Matasar taught many of his students that you don't have to be disagreeable when your opinion differs from the other side of the courtroom. Following his example, I have always tried to work with opposing counsel in a cooperative manner. Since completing the training program this summer, I am now officially trained in Collaborative Law practice.

I look forward to offering this new service in Collaborative Law in Divorce cases, as well as Guardianship cases. The Collaborative Process allows the parties to work out their issues with a trained professional, usually a Mental Health Counselor, a financial professional trained in divorce accounting and valuation, a mediator if necessary and two collaboratively trained attorneys, rather than litigating and leaving ultimate decisions to the Judge.

While the above listing of professionals involved may sound expensive at first blush, most participants in a collaborative divorce will agree that the process itself is more healing and conducive to protecting the parent to parent relationships necessary when children are involved. Also, in a litigated divorce, most professionals (Valuation, Accounting and Mental Health) will be duplicated as each side employs their own "hired guns" to best present their case. The Experts hired by each side will inevitably argue and reinforce their own opinions rather than working with all parties to facilitate a mutually beneficial result.

Collaborative Law may not be for everyone, but for many families with children, the process allows the parents to work out the best interests for their children rather than leaving it all up to the judge.

If you have questions, call me at 407-645-3297, or send an email to: aubrey@aubreylaw.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thankfulness is Appreciated

2011-06-22T18:41:00.003-04:00

I received a Thank you Note several years ago which said:

Each and every day . . . I am more and more astonished that I have found such a perfect place to work.

I've had to work at a few horrible jobs and tolerate a few terrible bosses throughout the years . . .

I've also had wonderful jobs and caring employers, but . . .

it is the rare thing to find a place where one feels respected, understood, trusted and appreciated.

It is even more unusual to find a place where I can be myself and still be accepted.

Truly extraordinary is to have all those things and more, and enjoy the work, as well.

I just wanted you to know that I am happier here than I have been at any job . . . ever.

I just wanted you to know . . .
that I know how fortunate I am and that I am grateful . . . for everything.

Obviously, this came from an employee. She was with me for more than three years and I always appreciated her hard work, although I probably never said "Thank you" enough.

I am trying to thank all my clients, especially those who so frequently call me to refer a friend. It is a dear compliment to have one client refer more clients. I am always thrilled when my mentors,other attorney friends and even judges refer business my way; this lets me know they think highly of my work and are willing to trust their friends and family to my care.

I am truly blessed with wonderful friends. Thank you.

If we haven't spoken in a while, call me at 407-645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

The Church of Facebook - Review

2011-06-08T11:16:00.007-04:00

Look for my review of The Church of Facebook in the Spring 2011 issue of Christian Ethics Today. You can also subscribe to Christian Ethics Today by going to this website: http://www.christianethicstoday.com/

Recently a client came to my office after having litigated for more than a year trying to secure custody of his children. While he was represented by a well-known attorney in the Orlando area, he was disappointed that his case had not been resolved in such a long time. I had to tell him two things:
1. Selection of an attorney is the most important part of any family law case. There are many attorneys with various personalities and work ethics. Certainly price is one consideration, but it should not be the only consideration.
2. Sometimes status quo is the best you can do; pushing for a final resolution may be detrimental to your case. Unfortunately, giving the other side time to screw up may be the best you can do.

When you go to select an attorney, interview several. If necessary, pay a consultation fee so that you get a clear picture of the attorney's philosophy of practice. Then you can know you are hiring an attorney who will look out for your best interests and take on your priorities.

International Travel with Children

2011-05-06T10:29:00.004-04:00

Who wants to go to France? How about South Africa? Dubai? The Bahamas? Are you Divorced? Sharing time with your child?

Consider: A client living in Orlando, wants to take her three young children to the Bahama's for the weekend. Its her visitation weekend, does she have to tell their Father? Does she have to get consent or permission? Can he say NO!

International travel with children can be a Problem if both Parents do not consent or approve the travel.

Really, how many parents would abduct their children and take them to a foreign country? Even one is too many.

The Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program, CPIAP, is very helpful.

As the New York Times reported, many countries require notarized written permission of the other parent when traveling alone with a child.

The Department of State, http://travel.state.gov/ has great information for keeping your child safe.

www.myfamilytravels.com is also a great site for information helpful to traveling families.

Welcome Back

2011-04-27T12:27:00.003-04:00

Recently someone said, "Aubrey Ducker, why haven't you updated your blog in a while?"

She continued, "I was looking forward to your answer to a Family Law Question! What happens when a child decides she wants to go live with her father? I have been taking care of her for the past 8 years, without any help! Now that she is 12, her father is encouraging her to stay at his house more and more. He gives her everything she wants and I'm the one who has to make her do homework, study for tests, clean her room, etc. . . "

You can see where that is going! If only children would remain under our control and direction! Unfortunately, they decide right or wrong that they want to decide what is "best for them" rather than listening to some old people who didn't even have facebook when they were young. Have you been through this? I have! With my own children and with many, many clients!

It is never fun to lose control!

Then there are the Elder Law questions: How can I make sure my children don't argue about who gets what? That question is so much better than the corallary promise, "My children won't argue about it. They would never go to court to challenge ___________________as the Personal Representative."

Funny how many times I hear that and how many times I see adult children wanting nothing more than to "tell it to the Judge" regarding the actions of their sibling as Power of Attorney or Personal Representative.

Talk about losing control.

You may have read in the papers, (do you actually read the Newspaper anymore?) the Florida Legislature is trying to balance the budget by cutting into court funding. Removing funding for the Guardian Ad Litem program and other "services" that to legislators seem "unnecessary" is no way to protect the bottom line in Florida. The services being cut may save a few dollars this year, but in the years to come, those savings will be offset by enormous costs associated with unmet needs in disfunctional families. The results may be increased incidence of domestic violence, child abuse, neglect or more violent crimes.

Please encourage your representatives to look to fair funding principles. When corporations like GE have NET profits in the range of $14.7 Billion, and pay less than 1 million in taxes, something in the tax structure is way out of whack. Cutting spending to make the budget work, while corporations pay next to nothing in taxes harms all citizens, especially the most vulnerable. Maybe I should write more often so I could break this up into several Blog posts. I'll try that next time.

Peace.

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-06T13:24:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year!!!

Did you make any New Year's Resolutions?

This is a time when many people set out to change their life; whether that means changing budgetary finance issues, dietary health issues, life philosophies, or problem solving techniques, I wish you the very best.

I recently reviewed The 10 Commandments of Common Sense, by Hal Urban. What a great guide for life transformation! As you know, Common Sense is in many cases quite uncommon!

1. The past three years have given many people new perspectives of financial issues, and consumer spending. People have begun using Layaway plans, and Christmas Club accounts again. As a child, I used a Layaway Plan at Kmart to purchase a Green Machine, the hot toy for kids one year. After only 4 months, I had worked to earn the 31.50 plus tax to get the toy out of the store. I rode my Green Machine for many months, then sold it at a yard sale.

Remember Yard Sales? I have been recommending those to clients quite frequently. How much stuff do we really need. Donations to Good Will, the Salvation Army, and other recyclers is a side benefit of spring cleaning which I want to start sooner rather than later. Donations to charities also help the bottom line at tax time if you keep good records of gifts and values.

Remember Visa? MasterCard? American Express? How much are you using those plastic perils? I have heard from so many people that they no longer carry a credit card other than their banks own debit card for purchases. If they need to borrow to spend, they are rethinking the spending and planning other avenues of support.

2. I signed up to run the New York City Half Marathon. I have run several in the past and need to get back into distance running shape. Eating right and exercise provide benefits for life that far outweigh the temporary happiness found in a bowl of ice cream or extra juicy Pittsburgh Style rib eye. Oops, now my mouth is watering.

3. My life philosophy has always been to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. Call me a Christian, I am not offended. I am also not pushy. For me, I find the Holy Bible to be full of truth and also suggestive of consequences. As a member of the Board of Directors of Christian Ethics Today, I enjoy finding new ways to serve God.

4. Problems solving techniques are really central to my work as an attorney. My favorite technique is merely Anti-procrastination. If you can do it today, why wait til tomorrow? Another is to learn all you can so you can consider more than one solutions to a problem. Time is a precious gift, and its wise use is central to living a life well.

When you have a legal issue this year, I hope you will call me. I can help find a solution or alternative course of action. When issues arise with aging parents, Elder Law Attorneys have great experience dealing with the common issues, and uncommon advice for the truly bizarre issues. Family Law practice centers on Divorce and making sure the needs of children are met. Please call me when you would like to discuss options for your life.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-23T09:25:00.004-05:00

Merry Christmas! This has been a year of firsts, lasts and never mores!
Firsts included:
A personal best in the House of Hope Run Around the Pines 5K, followed by breakfast at my house served for many friends who also ran the race.
Scalloping around the Crystal River/Homosassa Gulf Coast. After the Deep Horizons explosion caused an Oil Spill (Hopefully Last and Never more) in the Gulf of Mexico, the State of Florida opened the Scalloping season early to ensure the maximum harvest possible prior to any potential oil contamination. My best description of Scalloping is a great underwater Easter egg hunt! Snorkeling in 5 to 25 feet of water watching for scallops may sound boring to many people, but I assure you, the first time you pick one up and find two or five more within arms reach, and the one begins snapping and swimming toward you, YOU WILL BE HOOKED! Unfortunately, when you clean your 5 gallons of scallops and realize only one meal's worth of result, you may be a little disappointed. However, the next time you order scallops in a restaurant, you might find a greater appreciation for their size and plumpness!
Finally, my brother and his wife had their First Child, a son, in October. I fear October may have signaled my parents' Last visit to Florida for a while! A new child brings all the wonder and potential of the world to bear on the family. I pray they will enjoy every possible happiness!
Once again, I look back over the year and see blessings I did not deserve, and trials I thought were undeserved! The richest blessings of all are the many friends I have been fortunate to encounter, some daily, some once in a lifetime. At Christmas I try to reflect on all these gifts and remember to say Thank you.
May God Richly Bless You this Season.
If you have need of an attorney, please do not hesitate to call me. 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Happy Birthday to My Son

2010-12-15T13:30:00.002-05:00

Words are inadequate to express the love of a father for his only son. In my son, I see all my hopes and dreams, yet I cannot help but acknowledge the fears and regrets as well. For all the times I was too busy to play his game, or watch his TV show, or play legos, or build forts, I will be forever sorry. But for all the things I have taught him over the years, for all the days we have explored National Parks, Hiked Trails, Swam in Springs, Climbed Mountains, visited Stadiums, and so many more places, I will be forever thankful.

J.R. took my highschool name as his own several years ago. I have to admit I almost cried when at a wrestling match, a cute girl yelled for him during warmups. Today, my baby is 16, and I feel older than dirt.

Forgive me not writing more, but I am off to let him drive me around on several errands to visit clients and deliver special documents.

Happy Birthday.

Election Day - GO VOTE!!!

2010-11-02T13:13:00.001-04:00

What to Take to a Meeting with an Attorney

2010-09-09T10:42:00.004-04:00

On the phone many first-time callers will inquire as to what items to bring. Obviously the answer depends largely on the needs of the client.

If I am meeting as an Elder Law Attorney, I expect to see a complete picture of the financial and medical needs of the client. That means: bring copies of the most recent bank statements, investment account statements, and Social Security Statements; bring some knowledge of the persons physical abilities and limitations, and most of all, bring honesty.

The Elder Law Attorney must have a complete and ACCURATE picture of the clients needs as well as resources. Sometimes a client may not want to disclose all assets, which can be a real hindrance to qualifying for Medicaid. If the true picture is known the attorney's advice will be remarkably different from that given on limited facts.

When I meet with clients in divorce situations as a Family Law Attorney, I expect to see a complete picture of the Marital Difficulties, Financial Assets, Financial Needs and family needs of the client. This means you should bring: at least 3 months of Bank Statements and Credit Card statements, for both parties if possible; bring a list of all Real Property owned by the parties, whether jointly owned or not (sometimes people are confused as to what constitutes Marital Property under Florida Law); a list of IMPORTANT Personal possessions, and as before, HONESTY.

A Family Law attorney cannot fix all the problems and if you bring a jaded 1/2 picture of the issues, your attorney may miss important points of advice. If you believe your spouse is unreasonable in negotiations, the Specialist in Family law may make different recommendations. So many times people think a previously unreasonable spouse will want to "work things out for the children" once the divorce is filed. Most times the stress of a litigation brings out the worst character traits in people, not the most altruistic.

Finally, bring a method of payment. If an attorney offers a Free Consultation take it, but most good attorneys do not give their advice away during Free Consulations. Better to pay a fee and get real advice and counsel than to take the Free Consultation only to spend an hour telling the attorney of the problem and have no idea of the attorney's opinion at the end. My office takes Cash, Checks and most major Credit Cards. A Consultation normally lasts TWO hours but I typically charge for one hour of time. Flat Fee Services are available as well.

Call me for an appointment, 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

"Specializing In" or One of Many Practice Areas: Selecting an Attorney

2010-09-01T08:15:00.004-04:00

When you see an attorney advertising on TV or Billboards, what do you think?

Advertising has been a special problem for attorneys for decades. The First Amendment guarantees "Free Speech" but Bar Associations such as The Florida Bar place significant restrictions on what an attorney can say, when and to whom.

One area of concern to the bar is the "Specialist" or advertising an area of practice with "Specializing In" stated. For an attorney, becoming a "Specialist" means being Certified by the Florida Bar. To be certified, an attorney must devote more than 50% of practice for the previous 5 years to the given area. In Family Law, to advertise as Specializing in Family Law, the attorney must devote the Majority of practice to family law, pass a separate test in Family law, and must have at least two major hearings or trials per year to maintain proficiency.

To advertize "Specializing in Elder Law", one must be "Certified in Practice", devote the Majority of Practice to Elder Law, Pass a difficult test in addition to the Bar Exam, and devote many hours to continuing Legal Education in the area of Elder Law.

From reading this you see how it is virtually impossible to be a specialist in Family law and Elder Law at the same time.

My Practice focuses on both Family Law and Elder Law, but I am not a "Specialist." I devote about 1/2 my practice to each area, but cannot sit for either exam due to my significant practice in both areas. Additionally, Mediation and settlement of most Family Law matters prevents me from going to Trial in the requisite number of cases each year.

My practice is all about helping people and I enjoy my practice. While I'd like to be a "Specialist", for now, I will have to be happy serving my clients needs to the best of my abilities and let their referrals indicate whether I am fulfilling my calling.

If you need help with a family law matter or elder law matter, visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ or call me at 407-645-3297. I will be happy to assist you. Aubrey

How Many Attorneys Does it Take?

2010-08-24T17:26:00.004-04:00

I know this sounds like a joke, but I was actually serious. How many attorneys you consult about a problem gives an indication of your interest and trust. How many should you consult? If you receive a recommendation from a trusted friend, and the attorney is competent to handle your case, you may not want to waste time getting second opinions.

Most good attorneys, like any good doctor, will be happy for you to seek out a second opinion. Once you have consulted and aquired a number of opinions, in choosing an attorney you should consider a several questions:
Who do you trust more?
Who makes you feel most comfortable?
Whose advice will you most easily accept?
Who has the simplest fee structure?
Who expects the most up front money, or Retainer?
Who has the expertise in your area of law?
Who has been in practice longer?
Who is most up to date on the Law?

In answering these questions, you will be able to select the attorney most competent to handle your case.

Do not be afraid to ask hard questions, such as:
How much will this cost?
What are the negative possibilities?
Am I liable for any other costs or fees?
Will the court order the other side to pay your fees?
Most important when suing for money damages, child support, alimony, or equitable distribution, what are my chances of actually collecting from the defendant?

In the end, the more answers you have at the beginning, the more likely you are to understand the process and potential outcomes.

So, how many attorneys does it take to change a lightbulb? Just One, but it has to be a good Case.

OK, here is the joke: How many attorneys does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change the lightbulb. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, one to sue the ladder company.

Divroce and Child Custody (Timesharing in the 2010 era)

2010-08-17T14:19:00.003-04:00

When a couple divorces, their children often feel the pain.

Parents may be relieved, but the children can experience greater loss than the parent may appreciate. Justifications, such as, "they will be better off not having all the fighting in the house" seldom compensate for the loss of the other parent in the home.

For Teens, the loss includes supervision and observation, for younger children, feelings of security and comfort.

Of course there are exceptions. When the marriage and home life has been marked by domestic violence, fighting, inconsistencies, disparate treatments, etc. the children may be as relieved as the parents that the decision to separate has Finally been made.

In Florida we no longer discuss "Custody" or "Primary Residential Responsiblity" with regard to who will most parent the children. Now we use the term Timesharing. The parent with the Majority of the timesharing is not the Custodial Parent. That is the person with the child physically at any given time. What a confusing world.

Lets make it as easy as possible: Both parents Share Parental Responsibility. When the child is with dad, dad is the custodian. When the child is with mom, she is the custodian. The Timeshare each parent has is related to what portion of each week the child spends with that parent. Alternating Weekends is still the "fallback" minimum visitation Timeshare used most often by the courts.

When you have questions, call an attorney who understands these concepts. Selecting an attorney who is familiar with the recent changes to the Florida Statutes will help you ensure your rights are honored and decisions respected. Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

I am ready to assist you.

Why Attorney's Try

2010-08-13T15:50:00.004-04:00

I had a call today from a man who wants to see his child. Unfortunately, the last time the man saw his child, Police were taking him away to jail on charges of domestic violence. Three weeks later, should all be forgotten?

Sometimes it is better to take a little time to make sure a situation will not recur. Courts can and will use a Timesharing Parenting Plan to establish a routine for the child to ensure the parents have little opportunity to fight or argue.

Now why would an attorney say, "Wait one more week to see your child?"

Because, despite years of jokes and news items almost daily of attorneys acting in their own interests, many of us want to see children raised in the safest possible environment.
When domestic violence is present in the home, DCF, the Department of Children and Families can move in to take the children from the home and place them in foster care. I do not want any children taken by the state and placed in foster care. There are far too many for which this reality is unavoidable.

In cases where attorneys are involved from the start, many times unpleasantness can be avoided or minimized to prevent things escalating to a point where the State has an Obligation to Protect the children by removing them from the home.

If you find yourself in a violent home, call me at 407-645-3297, I will make every effort to assist you.

Visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ and learn more about me and the services provided by my firm.

WE PROTECT CHILDREN.

No child should have to see his or her parent harmed, especially by the other parent.

Family Reunion in Tennessee

2010-08-09T15:38:00.004-04:00

This past weekend, I drove 24 hours round trip to Tennessee to see my family. The family, distant relations, cousins and friends most of whom I had not seen since I last attended this reunion 25 years ago, was described by one of the 55 year 'friends' as the Nicest family she has ever known. What a Joy. Sharing stories of long ago loves, courtships, children, pranks, jokes, dances, murders, drunkeness, abandonment, the list grows longer, but the stories are told again. The family is described in two different books and its is likely that every person who traveled the Cumberland Gap road between 1796 and today has been impacted by the Snoderlies, Cranks, Bollingers, Onks, Eubanks and others who make up this delightful bunch.

This family has its share of unpleasant issues and complications. One Great-grandmother is cared for by a grandson, though her son or daughter could also provide the care. The family as a whole abhors nursing homes due to an incident of elder abuse in the 70's that proved no care is like family care.

Divorces are evident with second spouses and questions of first wives, children with differing last names, even one divorced couple that still attend because they both love all these people so much.

The Chidren were incredible. No fighting, just playful banter between long lost friends who have never met, but because their parents said they are cousins must be glad to see each other.

One family was restored many years ago after a newborn boy was given up for adoption. An ad in a geneological magazine led the family to find him and learn they had lived within 20 miles of each other for the past 40 years.

Pickin guitars, and singing songs late into the night while negotiating for just a taste of homemade peach wine, kept us up til all hours, but noone was too tired to be pleasant.

On the whole, and by all individual parts, I would not trade this weekend for anything.

Busy Weeks! And this is Summer!

2010-07-29T12:41:00.005-04:00

Wow, I have been very busy lately: All day trial as a Guardian Ad Litem; half day trial to a magistrate on Child Support Enforcement; half day trial on Domestic Violence to have an injunction disolved; meetings to establish guardianships for adults, children with developmental disablilities soon to be adults; meetings with clients arrested and charged under Arizona-law like immigration issues, and many meetings to figure out how to stop a Mortgage Foreclosure case where the Bank acted improperly.

As to Domestic Violence: Do Not Touch. If you find yourself in a situation where the other party refuses to listen, touching them will not help their ears to work! Sounds kind of funny, but is deadly serious. If you are touched without your consent, call the police, File a report, seek an injunction, tell the truth. When in court the judge asks if you ever argue with your spouse, remember, it takes two to tango, and argue. Its OK to disagree. Its not OK to force your partner to agree, listen, share, play, etc.

If you are owed child support, the Florida Department of Revenue will enforce your child support order. Inquire at the courthouse. Take your final judgment and child support order and Anna Tangel-Rodriguez will help you (in Orange County, Florida). If someone owes child support you are doing no favors by ignoring it. Driver's Licenses can be revoked, their right to work can be impacted, Tax Refunds can be seized, they can be sent to jail, but only if you let the court know of the missing child support. I meet people every week who are living hand to mouth because they don't want to be the bad guy enforcing child support. Your Children Deserve Better!

Guardianships can be very tricky, very costly, and very necessary. In fact, when guardianships are most needed they are usually most expensive. Acting early to intervene in your elder family member's life may save much heartache down the road. Taking action today can save many problems tomorrow. A Durable General Power of Attorney may obviate the need for a guardianship, saving substantial funds in the process.

Probate avoidance is not difficult with proper advice and representation. Updating beneficiary statements with the bank or insurance company can avoid probate saving thousands of dollars in fees. Transferring title to real estate while retaining a Life Estate or through the use of a "Lady Bird Deed" can help avoid probate as well. Call an attorney if you have questions.

I am available at 407-645-3297, or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

Andy's New Bike

2010-07-12T17:07:00.005-04:00

Many months ago I wrote about Andy. He is a child in a man's body. Born 40 years ago with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, his adoptive parents did not hesitate to provide him with a loving home and everything he needs to be as independent as possible. Last week, his bike was stolen. This week he has a new one. http://growingbolder.com/644948.html Thanks to all the bikers of the world, and Tijuana Flats, and everyone with an open hearts to care.

Life is full of opportunities to be nice. Doing something for someone else is worth the effort. Andy knows there are bad people in the world, but they are far outnumbered by the good people.

Live, Laugh, Love.

Rest and Relaxation - Vacation or Respite Care

2010-07-06T11:47:00.003-04:00

Everybody needs a break. I just returned from a very busy vacation. Although it included a couple of telephonic hearings and several face to face meetings with attorneys in Tennessee, as well as a three day convention in Charlotte, NC, I returned refreshed!

In only 7 working days out of the office, I returned with new energy. Sometimes work is so overwhelming, we need to step back and let others take the reins while we ride along enjoying the view. My very capable staff managed to address all the client issues that arose in my absence without having to trouble me with calls and emails of any urgent nature.

For many of my clients caring for their aging parents or disabled children, vacations and time away are almost impossible. Although caring for aging parents can tax a person beyond their comprehension, sometimes the caregivers may not even recognize how truly exhausting their job can be. Many do not think others are willing or capable to provide the care; some may simply feel no one else will do the job, or do the job correctly.

Respite care is used to provide care for the caregiver. Most Assisted Living Facilities have programs to allow seniors in need of care to stay for a few days or even weeks to allow the caregivers the time to unwind and relax on vacation. In home healthcare providers also can provide the necessary down time to caregivers when the invalid is unable to leave the home for any reason.

In my own life, my mother took care of my paternal grandmother for 8 years until just before her death in 1987. During that time, I only remember one time she was away from home for more than 24 hours. Although my father had 8 siblings, no one offered a break.

My mother again was the caregiver and took care of her own father for more than 5 years until his death in 2008. In that time, her sister provided two separate vacations of 1 week each when she provided care for her father. Again, siblings seldom see the needs or offer the support so necessary to provide care to disabled parents. More often than not, the love and affection that spurs such care is ignored in the Will or asset allocations of statutes.

If you are in need of assistance, call me. My number is 407-645-3297 and I will be happy to help you. Either by pointing you to resources in your area, or by assisting in setting up your own will so the people providing the care needed are not trampled in the rush to divide the assets after your death, I help people every day to solve some of life's most pressing issues.

www.aubreylaw.com has many Frequently Asked Questions and other resources to provide you needed information.

Grandparents Really Do Have Rights - Visitation

2010-06-09T13:53:00.003-04:00

The Florida Statutes give grandparents, and great-grandparents certain rights for visitation with the grandchildren; however, don't get carried away and think you can simply demand access and be granted a lifetime placement with the child.

In all cases involving children, the court MUST consider the "best interests of the child"
in determining whether visitation is appropriate and under what circumstances.

The court must first find either: the marriage was disolved, a parent has abandoned the child or the child was born out of wedlock and no paternity has been established. Following this initial determination, the court then considers the "best interests of the child" and looks to:

a. The willingness of the grandparent to encourage a close and continuing bond between the child and the parent (no interference in parental decision making or actions)

b. The length and quality of the relationship prior to seeking visitation (how long and how much did you see the child before the difficulty arose)

c. The preference of the child if the child is old enough to express a preference on their own
(in layman's terms, teens can't be forced to visit people they don't want to visit)

d. The mental and physical health of the child

e. The mental and physical health of the grandparent

f. Such other factors as the court deems relevant (whatever else the court wants to consider)

If you are a grandparent who wants to have visitation with your grandchildren and you have been prevented by parent, you may have reason to rejoice. Selecting an attorney who understands your rights and the process by which they can be achieved is crucial.

Call me: 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or www.floridaguardianattorney.com

I will be there to help - and you can be there to help your grandchildren grow up!

Litigation Management or Mediation Solution

2010-06-02T13:13:00.004-04:00

A trial in Divorce Court is not pleasant. In Florida, we have "No Fault" divorces. Nobody gets to tell their side to the judge in hopes of a "win" where fault is not at issue.

He had an affair. She spent our nest egg. He gambled away our retirement. She drank too much. He was not supportive of her career. She wouldn't get a job after the kids went to school. She wouldn't pick up the dirty laundry off the bathroom floor. He left a mess in the kitchen every night.

I have heard a LOT of Excuses for Divorce. There are many good reasons, but sometimes the excuses feel better. Unfortunately, the court doesn't have time or interest in solving all these issues and assigning blame.

The Court's concern is summed up in PEACE:

Parenting: ususally shared. Which parent will have a majority of timeshare with the children?

Equitable Distribution: All the assets and liabilities acquired during the marriage have to be divided between the parties. That includes all retirement accounts, as well as any retirement benefits earned. Houses, cars and investments are legitimate negotiation points; however, furniture and fluff can cause too much litigation. I once spent an hour in mediation to divide a big screen TV. The mediator and two attorneys cost 850 for that hour, more than half the cost of a new TV. In the end, the TV was damaged when turned over and even more litigation ensued.

Alimony: In Florida, normally, we have short term, and long term marriages. Long term get alimony, short term do not. There are also "gray area" marriages which may or may not result in Permanent Alimony depending on several factors listed in the statutes.

Child Support: Once Alimony is awarded, child support is calculated based on the combined income of the parties. A mathmatical formula establishes how much child support will be paid. Negotiation of this amount is possible, but many judges want factual calculations and will award that amount regardless of settlement agreements because child support is the CHILD's interest and should not be waived by one or the other parent.

Everything Else: Attorney's fees. Costs. Mediation Fees. Etc. Anything that doesn't fit in the first 4 categories falls here. Sometimes agreeing to pay a set amount for Attorney's fees is preferrable to having a trial and paying many times the amount to "Win" in court.

PEACE Possible In Divorce!

Call me at 407-645-3297, or just visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com

PEACE is within reach!

Fraud and Elder Abuse

2010-05-24T11:46:00.002-04:00

What happens when you receive a letter from an attorney promising you a settlement of $130,000 but failing to disclose any information as to the case, the parties or how you came to be contacted?

Does your answer change if they include an "Official Bank Check" to cover the court costs as an "advance against "bailiff costs and court fees"?

Unfortunately, many people will fall for this scam and deposit the check into their account, giving vital information to the theives working to steal their money. Others will talk to the scammer on the phone and give all the information needed to have their accounts drained.

Elders are at risk for these scams. The FBI, AARP, and the Florida Department of Elder Affairs all warn of the risks of giving personal information over the phone to someone you don't know, but seniors continue to be duped by official looking correspondence simply because they cannot believe this would be a scam. It all looks so official.

Anyone can go online to verify the identity of an attorney, even those out of state. Go to Martindale.com to find a list of attorneys worldwide who are of good reputation. Lawyers.com and Findlaw.com also lists attorneys. Yes these sites require the attorney to pay a fee for advertising to be listed; however, if attorneys are dealing with you from out of state, shouldn't they be listed somewhere?

Finding an attorney is not hard; verifying the "attorney" who found you is truly serving your interests, may be. Beating fraud is worth the effort.

What Not to Expect from Your Attorney

2010-05-21T13:23:00.004-04:00

Guarantee: No Attorney should Ever "Guarantee" a certain result from a court. Many times courts rule on issues in line with past rulings; however, a Guarantee of any certain result is prohibited by the rules of ethical conduct. The Attorney can never forsee every possible occurrance or testimony in a given case. With the facts at hand the attorney may recommend a course of action, but any "Guarantee" of what the court will do, is quite simply bad advice.

Promise: Like a Guarantee, for an attorney to "Promise" a certain result is not allowed. The attorney has no control over the other party, and no control over the court.

Advise that the Client Lie: Attorneys are forbidden to illicit testimony they know to be false. This means, if the attorney asks the client a question under oath, such as at trial or deposition, and the client answers in such a way as the attorney Knows the answer if False, the attorney must correct the situtation. There are ethical rules every attorney MUST follow to ensure the integrity of the court system. The most important is not to allow the client to lie to the court.

Willingness to Lie for the Client: Just as the attorney cannot encourage or permit the client to lie to the court, so the Attorney if Forbidden to Lie for the client. If your attorney is willing to lie for you, how can you trust that your attorney will not lie TO you?

Dishonesty: At the heart of the Attorney-Client privilege is the notion that the attorney cannot adequately represent the client without full knowledge and honesty from the client. The Client therefore Must be able to Trust the Attorney to Fully and Fairly answer questions posed. In order to protect the client to fully reveal information that may help or harm the case, the attorney-client privilege prevents the attorney revealing or using the information to the client's detriment.

Perfection: The PRACTICE of Law is truly an art, not a science. Statutes are continually amended by legislatures, interpreted by courts, and exposed by attorneys. Sometimes what has always occurred doesn't and many times the court has not had a question posed in this way. Attorneys may not have all the information necessary to completely anticipate every possible problem. But we try!

If you can accept attorneys are only human, you may be able to accept their assistance!

What Should You Expect from Your Lawyer?

2010-05-18T10:27:00.003-04:00

Honesty. If your attorney doesn't tell you the potential downside and pittfalls of a course of action, she is doing you a disservice. You must know the bad possibilities as well as the good. Only when fully informed can you make the best decision. After all, you are the one who has to live with your decisions!

Integrity. Your opponent must be able to trust what your attorney tells them. The Court MUST be able to trust what your attorney tells it. If the attorney says he will present certain evidence, or he has a receipt showing something was purchased by a business, he must be able to back it up, or be forced to prove every detail - at potentially great expense.

Fairness. Treating the other side fairly doesn't hurt your case. In many instances it begins the process of healing that will allow both sides to put the difficulties to rest once and for all in settlement. A Trial is a bad way to achieve fairness. The parties have far less input and much greater expense. Besides, who knows your family better, You and Your future Ex Spouse? or the Judge who has listened to both sides of an argument for 4-6 hours?

Reasonable Billing Practices. The honest answer is Your attorney has a family to feed and must operate his or her practice in a profitable manner. Many times people assume a "quick question" will not result in a bill. Sometimes the answer is clear, but the question still interrupts the work ongoing in the office and usually requires an answer the same day. With only 8 hours in the work day, most attorneys have to work several more hours each day just to keep the messages from piling up, while still researching legal opinions, writing briefs, reviewing the latest rulings, keeping abreast of statutory law changes, planning for hearings, preparing for trials, etc.

Tomorrow: What NOT to expect from your attorney.

Safe Driving for Seniors

2010-05-13T18:53:00.004-04:00

Driving gets harder as you age. Reflexes are not as fast, hearing and eyesight begin to deteriorate.

Then again, experience makes older drivers less likely to take risks, such as driving too fast in the rain, or following too closely.

What do you do when Dad needs to stop driving? Concern is common among adult children of "experienced" drivers. Aging parents continue to drive as they have for years. Just bringing up driving restrictions may seem to overstep boundaries. How does a 50 year old tell a 70 year old what is acceptable?

Sometimes just resisting driving at night or during rush hour can alleviate most concerns. Unfortunately, it may be hard for children to identify and correct potentially dangerous behavior.

A real concern appears when Mom begins to "forget" where she is going, how to get there, or worse, how to get home. When Alzheimers and dementia begin, driving may be the first clue. Does Dad seem lost behind the wheel? Does Mom need constant direction to keep her going the right way?

For help with these questions and more, call an attorney who practices in Elder Law. Choosing the right attorney is paramount to making a smooth transition from driving to caring for your aging parents.

If you have questions, Call me, 407-645-3297, or visit my website, www.floridaguardianattorney.com You will be glad you asked.

Take Care of Yourself

2010-05-07T09:56:00.003-04:00

Much has been written about the "Sandwich Generation" - those caught between caring for their children while simultaneously caring for their parents. Many people feel the crunch of time and demands and forget that while caring for others, the caregiver also needs care.

Balancing a full-time job with child care is exponentially more difficult when aging or incapacitate parents enter the mix. Children may not understand having to be second or even third on the list when Grandpa or Grandma requires precedence. Family stress compounds when siblings are pressured to provide care without compensation because it is "more convenient" due to proximity to the marital or parental home. When Fathers and Mothers become the burden, HELP IS AVAILABLE!

Please look to community resources for counseling and assistance. If you find yourself overwhelmed with caring while being forgotten, give me a call. Aubrey Ducker, 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.floridaguardianattorney.com

Why would You even Talk to a Divorce Lawyer?

2010-04-28T12:34:00.005-04:00

They will just break up your marriage! NOT TRUE!
Just having Knowledge of the Law can be key to success in many endeavors, even a successful marriage. Remember - Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse!

There are many issues under the "Family Law" umbrella. Adoption, Divorce, Child Support, Custody - or as we now say in Florida, Time Share - Domestic Violence, Post Disolution Motions, and Prenuptial Agreements are all areas Attorneys work and are vitally needed.

Adoption has many differing aspects that only an attorney can sort out to make the best for your family situation. Is Open Adoption an option? Should you consider a Foreign Adoption? How do you domesticate your Foreign Adoption? Should you be a Foster Parent before even considering adoption? An attorney can help you analyze these critical questions to best suit your family situation.

Prenuptial Agreements may sound like movie star problems; however, seniors, second marriages, widows, widowers, and the like are most likely to need these contracts. Only a well trained attorney can properly guide you through the problems and potential defects in such complex documents.

Divorce - some people are immediately turned off by the word; but in our society, everybody knows someone who needs to talk to a divorce lawyer. Working things out in the court may be more important for the children's wellbeing than staying together for the sake of the children. Children do not thrive in conflict. They sense conflict without being told all the particulars. They want Mommy and Daddy to be happy, but don't know how to make Happy work. Thus children will internalize the conflict and become bullies at school, or withdrawn from friends, or neglect schoolwork, or work extra hard at school, pressuring themselves to make their parents HAPPY. Children should not be made the source of their parents conflict or happiness. That is Stress!!!

Why talk to a Divorce Lawyer? For the sake of the Children! Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com or

Call me today, 407-645-3297, even if just to say, "Hey, I saw your blog!"

Where Does the Time Go?

2010-04-21T17:51:00.002-04:00

Please forgive a little marketing:
My time sells for $325 per hour. For some people on a fixed income or when the issues are very straightforward, I can let my time go for as little as $150 per hour. Unfortunately, all my time is not sold every day. Some of my time is wasted sleeping, some spent working out, some spent on my family (this is never a waste and always a priority).

So, what makes the difference between a $325 hour and a $150 hour? Usually the difference is dependent on a wide variety of factors, including: the client's problem; the urgency of need; the intricasy of solution; probability of collection, and my general attitude toward the client. If I truly do not want the client's problem to be my own, my rate quoted may be even higher.

I recently laughed when a client asked how long his $5,000 retainer would last. He had already taken more than 3 hours to describe the problem which could have been summed up in as little as 15 minutes if the man had simply listened to what I, and his previous counsel, had said. You must follow court orders or risk having the court treat you as a derelict.

So where does the time go? Every human gives their time to their own choosing. How cheaply you sell your time determines what you do with it.

Durable Power of Attorney

2010-03-11T14:59:00.004-05:00

Do you have one? Do you need one? Who has access to YOUR MONEY?

I asked these questions at a seminar today with the Boost Your Brain Program of the Crosby YMCA Wellness Center in Winter Park. Meeting with 41 Y members allows me to meet new potential clients. It also allows me to hear what questions concern them most. Many questions begin with either "my friend" or "my parent" and relate particular issues being dealt with daily. They continue asking "is doing this, that or the other thing OK?" In a seminar setting I can answer general questions common to many caregivers in a minimum of time by comparison to an office consultation. The information passed out to a large group is by nature very general and may apply in peculier ways to any given set of circumstances.

More complex questions are best answered in the office during a personal consultation session. One persons actions with regard to care and keeping may differ radically from another person's situation. If you have questions, Call an Attorney. We are here to help. Many times a question over the phone can prevent major complications that could impact Medicaid Qualifiation, Taxes, Inheritance, Probate, Guardianship, etc.

A few of the members had questions regarding how to pay bills when sharing a residence with their mother, brother, etc. Dividing bills and paying 1/2 to the other person may seem reasonable today, but when the IRS audits your taxes, or when applying for medicaid, or when going through Probate administration, the answers may radically alter treatment in the individual case.

Bottom Line: Ask the question of a professional. Do not depend on the advice given to a friend by their former whatever. Be Careful out there! And I am Proud of You!

Election Day

2010-03-09T16:30:00.002-05:00

VOTE TODAY!!!

Robert Stuart

Yes On 10

Go Vote

Paper My Office

2010-03-04T11:15:00.003-05:00

An attorney recently promised to "Paper (my) office with everything we have." Since this was a relatively new attorney, not young in years but in practice, I tried not to take offense at what is normally a derogatory statement. By most attorney's understanding,
"papering an office" implies "we will bury you in paper so you can't possibly respond to it all."

Unfortunately, this attorney did not follow through. Although she has made significant and slanderous allegations against my client, no "paper" has been provided showing even a hint of wrongdoing by my client. Still the bold assertions of opposing counsel are expected to make me disbelieve in my client's cause and undermine my confidence in her case.

Worse than the implications of this attorney toward my own client are her failures to live up to the standard she advertises. "Dove Attorney" and Christian Symbols on a website should warn potential clients this person cannot be trusted. If you have to rely on something beyond your own legal experience to assure a client of your legal abilities, well, nuff said.

Sorry to rant here, but I am offended that someone who advertises under the words "Christian Attorney" could be so deceitful and offensive to a fellow attorney, much less to a fellow human being.

WOW - February is gone and March is Here!!!

2010-03-03T18:31:00.003-05:00

Where did the Month go??? Two posts this year? Not enough! Not Nearly Enough!!

I am reading three books:

Words to Lead By, by Skip Moen

Life Safari, by John P. Strelecky

and Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol.

I recommend Strelecky's book as an intro to Africa. I want to go!

Unfortunately, I have five other books on my desk I need to finish before finding another to start.

Oh and I almost forgot, His Excellency George Washington, by Joseph J. Ellis. Really enjoying this one - great history never taught. My favorite quote of a letter from George Washington to his friend, whom he had just hired to manage his estate:

"As you are now receiving my Money, your time is not your own; and that every day or hour misapplied, is a loss to me, do not therefore under a belief that, as a friendship has long subsisted between us, many things may be overlooked in you . . . I shall consider you in no other light than as a Man who has engaged his time and Service to conduct and manage my Interest . . . and shall seek redress if you do not, just as soon from you as an entire stranger."

Talk about direct!!! I can think of a few people to whom I whould like George Washington to have directed his ire.

When hiring an attorney, you are buying time and talents. "An attorneys time and experience are his stock in trade." The hiring of an attorney is not to be taken lightly.

Real ID Problems

2010-01-29T09:44:00.002-05:00

Beginning in 2010, all driver licenses must be matched to identification documents, including passports, Social Security Cards, Birth Certificates, Naturalization papers, etc. This presents a real problem for older drivers and especially married women who did not accurately document their married name.

A client recently appeared at my office with an expired Driver License because the Florida Tag office would not renew her driver license because the name did not match either her Birth Certificate or her Social Security Card. Incidentally, neither of those items had matching names!
Now she is forced to go to court to formally and legally change her name to that which she has used for 51 years since her marriage.

Simple solution if you prepare for the problem; Major Problem if you don't anticipate the solution. Two months ago, she could have changed her name on her driver license to match her Social Security card. Now, since the license is expired, she has to jump through several hoops to get a new license issued, in a name matching her Social Security card.

I am here to help!!! Call Me! 407-645-3297, even just to say, I saw your note!

Happy New Year

2010-01-05T16:11:00.004-05:00

Have you misdated anything yet? I have had to change the 0 of 09 to a 10 at least twice a day since the first. Today, I wrote the full 09 twice and had to rewrite the date. Oops. Mistakes happen.

What does your New Year hold? Do you have plans that require extraordinary effort? You should. Challenge yourself this Year!

Remember, I'm Proud of You!

Actually, "I'm Proud of You" is the title of Tim Madigan's book, subtitled, My Friendship with Fred Rogers. You remember Mr. Rogers. He always told his young viewers, "I'm Proud of You!"

Some people thought Mr. Rogers was too simple and did not teach children much. I remember seeing him as a child and learning that heat rises. I can still duplicate the experiment using cold water in an aquarium and hot colored water in a vial placed at the bottom. When the vial is opened the hot colored water rises to the top. Scientist can explain why, but suffice to say the Hot water has more energy.

People, like energy, can rise to the top as well. Let this be a great year by challenging yourself to Rise to the Top.

This picture shows my son receiving an award from the Mayor of Winter Park. I am Proud!

Call me! Aubrey Ducker 407-645-3297

Recommendation from a client

2009-12-31T10:30:00.001-05:00

I was proud and thrilled to receive the following:

Recommendation: "I worked with Aubrey this year for the
first time, and found him to be incredibly reliable, timely in his responses,
and able to deal with difficult situations in a compassionate and caring way -
and always with the end result in mind. Working with Aubrey, I realized results
that far exceeded my expectations."
Service Category: Attorney
Year first
hired: 2009
Top Qualities: Great Results, On Time, High Integrity

Financing Available

2009-12-02T14:50:00.007-05:00

We extend Credit!!!

Many people ask, in fact today a man asked, "How do you expect me to afford that?"

Our office has a new policy for extended payment plans in some cases.

Balances between $300 and $25,000 can be spread over a year, interest free.

Balances between $1,000 and $25,000 can be spread over 60 months with a lower interest rate than is offered on many credit cards.

I only ask that regular payments be made.

My office in Winter Park, Florida, accepts all major credit cards, cash and most checks.

I represent people in Family Law matters including Divorce, Child Custody, Alimony, Child Support, Paternity, Visitation, Father's Rights, Moving out of state and most other issues that come up in domestic relations court.

I also represent Elders in Elder Law matters including Estate Planning, End of Life Planning, Medicaid Planning and parent child disputes.

When Nothing Goes Right

2009-11-29T15:25:00.002-05:00

Some days are just like that. You wake up and forget about working out. Then your breakfast turns out to be much more than you planned. You skip any snacks and have a larger lunch. Working into the afternoon, you become tired but again skip the snacks and when you finally get home you are famished. Munching all evening does not satisfy and you go to bed sad, fat and tired.

Or perhaps the day starts out like any other and out of nowhere disaster strikes. You are sent on a whirlwind trip without any semblance of order, planning or escape. Later you may update your status page with "Worst Day EVER!!!" But is it really?

Too many times we go through life forgetting that the valleys make Mountains more majestic. If no for the turns, roads become endless lines to the horizon.

Take time to remember to say thanks, not just for the blessings in life but also for the curses that remind you Life is Worth Living.

What a Day!!! Domestic Violence is Not Acceptable

2009-11-20T16:39:00.003-05:00

Sitting in Domestic Violence Court is NO FUN. For Anyone involved.

The Victim certainly doesn't enjoy it. Neither does the Perpetrator unless particularly masochistic and egotistical.

The Judge involved cringes at the stories told and worries about discerning the truth in the statements made by the petitioner and respondent.

The Attorneys seldom "enjoy" the experience; however, when you can help your client stop being victimized by their spouse or paramour, that is GOOD!!!

Time Waits for No Man

2009-10-15T11:52:00.002-04:00

Wow, it has been more than a month since my last post. If only I were having fun, I would understand how the time flew by!!!

If you are anything like me, Every day starts with promise and ends with something left undone.
Now is the time to update that Will.

Make the changes needed to protect your assets to provide for your family if something should happen to you.

Call me. 407-645-3297. Mention this note and save 10 % this month only.

Aubrey
www.aubreylaw.com
or
www.floridaguardianattorney.com

Identity theft again - thanks to the Florida AG

2009-09-09T10:54:00.001-04:00

Who Investigates Identity Theft?
If you are a victim of identity theft you should contact your local police department or sheriff's office first to file a report. Under Florida's identity theft law, the report may be filed in the location in which the offense occurred, or, the county in which you reside.

It is important to remember to get a copy of the police report. Very often, the bank, credit card company, or others need proof of the crime in order to erase the debts created by the identity thief.

If you can't get a copy of the report, at least get the report number.

Who prosecutes identity theft?
Identity theft prosecutions are handled either by the State Attorney in the local judicial circuit, or the Office of Statewide Prosecution in the Attorney General's Office. The Office of Statewide Prosecution handles the prosecution of multi-circuit organized crime.

What are some tips regarding how to file a police report?
Provide documentation. Furnish as much documentation as you can to prove your case. Debt collection letters, credit reports, your notarized ID Theft Affidavit, and other evidence of fraudulent activity can help the police file a complete report.

Be persistent. Local authorities may tell you that they can't take a report. Stress the importance of a police report; many creditors require one to resolve your dispute. Also remind them that under their voluntary "Police Report Initiative," credit bureaus will automatically block the fraudulent accounts and bad debts from appearing on your credit report, but only if you can give them a copy of the police report.

Be a motivating force. Ask law enforcement to search the FTC's Consumer Sentinel ID Theft database for other complaints in your community. You may not be the first or only victim of this identity thief. If there is a pattern of cases, local authorities may give your case more consideration.

That's why it's also important for you to file a complaint with the FTC. Law enforcement agencies use complaints filed with the FTC to aggregate cases, spot patterns, and track growth in identity theft. This information can then be used to improve investigations and victim assistance. Click here to access the FTC's online complaint form.

Identity Theft - What to Do If Your Identity is Stolen

2009-09-08T11:35:00.004-04:00

With thanks to the Attorney General, I posted his suggestions below. Identity theft is a problem for many more people than you may realize. Many times Identity theft occurs between family members because they may have access to mail, personal information, etc. Regardless of the perpetrator, the effect can be devastating to the victim. Many people lose thousands and thousands of dollars every day to identity theft and other scams.

Source: The Florida Attorney General's Office

Identity theft is a serious problem that affects millions each year. When an imposter uses your name, social security number (SSN), credit card number, or any other form of personal information without your knowledge, it’s a crime.

Unfortunately, sometimes victims remain unaware that their identity has been stolen until they receive monthly statements for credit card accounts they never applied for, credit reports including unfamiliar debts or monthly statements that include unauthorized charges.

If someone has stolen your identity, immediately take these three steps:

First: Contact the fraud departments of each of the three major credit bureaus. Ask them to flag your file with a fraud alert and include a statement that creditors should ask for permission before opening any new accounts under your name. Ask the credit bureaus for copies of your credit reports. Credit bureaus must give you a free copy of your report if it is inaccurate because of fraud. Review your reports carefully to make sure no additional fraudulent accounts have been opened in your name or unauthorized charges made to your existing accounts. In a few months, order new copies of your reports to verify corrections and changes, and to make sure no new fraudulent activity has occurred. For more information on your rights and the Fair Credit Reporting Act, log on to http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2003/05/fcratest.shtm

Company	Report Fraud	Other Credit Report	Web Site
Equifax	(800) 525-6285	(800)685-1111	http://www.equifax.com/
Experian	(888)397-3742	(888)397-3742	http://www.experian.com/
Trans Union	(800)680-7289	(800)916-8800	http://www.tuc.com/

Second, contact the creditors for any accounts that have been tampered with or opened fraudulently. Speak with someone in the security or fraud department, and follow up in writing. Following up with a letter is one of the procedures spelled out in the Fair Credit Billing Act for resolving errors on credit billing statements, including charges that you have not made. Sample letters are available in the booklet ID Theft: When Bad Things Happen to Your Good Name .
Third, Fraudulent Use of Personal identification Information is a violation of Florida law pursuant to §817.568, Florida Statutes (1999). File a report with your local police department or the police in the community where the identity theft took place. Keep a copy just in case creditors need proof of the crime.

Take Control
Although identity thieves can destroy your personal finances, there are some things you can do to take control of the situation.

Some ways to handle the most common forms of identity theft are:

A- If an identity thief has stolen your mail for access to new credit cards, bank and credit card statements, pre-approved credit offers and tax information or falsified change-of-address forms, that person has committed a crime. Report it to your local postal inspector. You may contact the United States Postal Inspection Service online at https://postalinspectors.uspis.gov/

B- If an identity thief has changed the billing address on an existing credit card account, close the account immediately. When you open a new account, ask that a password be used before any inquiries or changes can be made on the account. Avoid using easily available information like your mother’s maiden name, birth date, the last four digits of your SSN or phone number, or a series of consecutive numbers. Avoid the same information and numbers when you create a Personal Identification Number (PIN).

C- If an identity thief has accessed your bank accounts, checking account or ATM card, close the accounts immediately. When you open new accounts, insist on password-only access. If your checks have been stolen or misused, stop payment. If your ATM card has been lost, stolen or otherwise compromised, cancel the card and ask for another with a new PIN. For more information, you may also contact the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency online Office of the Comptroller of the Currency.

D- If an identity thief has established new phone or wireless service in your name and is making unauthorized calls that appear to come from—and are billed to—your cellular phone, or is using your calling card and PIN, contact your service provider immediately to cancel the account and calling card. Obtain new accounts and new PINs..

E- If an identity thief is using your social security number (SSN) when applying for a job, get in touch with the Social Security Administration (SSA) to verify the accuracy of your reported earnings and that your name is reported correctly. Call (800) 772-1213 to check your social security statement. To report SSN fraud online, log on to http://www.ssa.gov/oig/ifyou.htm.

F- If, after trying to resolve the problems brought on by identity theft you continue to experience problems, the SSA may issue you a new SSN at your request. However, consider this option very carefully. A new SSN may not resolve your identity theft problems, and may actually create new problems. For example, a new SSN does not ensure a new credit record because credit bureaus may combine the credit records from your old SSN with those from your new SSN. Even when the old credit information is not associated with your new SSN, the absence of any credit history under your new SSN may make it difficult to obtain credit. Lastly, there is no guarantee that a new SSN would not also be misused by an identity thief.

G- If any identity thief is using your name or SSN to obtain a driver’s license, report it to your Department of Motor Vehicles. Also, if your state uses your SSN as your driver’s license number, ask to substitute another number.

Stay Alert
Taking the steps outlined here should, in most cases, resolve your identity theft problems, but identity theft or related credit problems may reoccur. Stay alert to new instances of identity theft. Notify the company, creditor or agency that is involved immediately and always follow up in writing.

Order a copy of your credit report from the three credit bureaus every year to check on their accuracy and whether they include only those debts and loans you’ve incurred. This could be very important if you’re considering a major purchase, such as a house or car. A credit bureau may charge a fee for a copy of your report.

More resources and information, including an identity theft toolkit, are available online at: http://myfloridalegal.com/identitytheft

FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION (FTC)
If you’ve been a victim of identity theft, file a complaint with FTC by contacting their Identity Theft Hotline toll-free at, 1-877-IDTHEFT (438-4338); or TDD at 202-326-2502; by mail to the Identity Theft Clearinghouse, Federal Trade Commission, 600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20580. You may also file a complaint online at https://www.ftccomplaintassistant.gov/

The FTC publishes free brochures on identity theft and many consumer issues. For a complete list of publications, write for Best Sellers, Consumer Response Center, Federal Trade Commission, 600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC 20580; or call toll-free 1-877-FTC-HELP (382-4357), TDD 202-326-2502; or log on to http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/consumer.shtm.

Thank you!

2009-08-27T18:04:00.005-04:00

Such a Wonderful Phrase! I like being able to say Thank you!

Today, one of my dearest friends brought a gift by my office: A Painting in Watercolor of my Grandfather's Barn. In reality I did commission the work, but that should not take away from the Thanks I feel for such wonderful work presented to me.

The picture at right is a recent photo. In the next post, I'll include a shot of the painting.

Many times our memories deceive us. I looked at this photo of the old barn, and truly is looks like an Old Decrepit Barn! My memories don't recall it with so much rust and dust however. I remember putting hay into the loft from the age of 6! Then it was a Massive structure. I got to work with my grandfather's lifelong friends, Harry Clemons, Bob Lowery and others. They treated me like a fellow worker even though I probably got in the way more than they needed until I was 15 or 16. By then I was old enough and strong enough to drive the tractors and trucks around the farm and throw hay bails up onto the wagon.

Memories are funny, one persons delightful childhood event is another persons awful childhood memory. Too bad. If we all could remember only the best and forget the worst, Thank You might be heard more often.

How do We get Along for the Children?

2009-08-26T12:59:00.003-04:00

Following is a message I received in my role as Guardian Ad Litem for two children. Their parents could not agree on a visitation schedule, arguing about whether weekly pickup and drop off were to be on Friday or Sunday. The Brother of one wrote:

"Lets just stop all the messages between the two of you and just
comply, nothing other than an "OK, see you at ..." This has to become
a non incident as this will always be happening, mix ups are normal in
family affairs and developing a cooperative manner of working
together, without the threat of court action by either party, is the
only suitable choice (In My Opinion)...its not easy, will take both to agree, but
at the first, it will take at least one party to choose to not
fight...be that party, comply no matter how onerous it might be, but
stop the fighting at all costs, determining fault and assigning blame
will only keep both of you stuck in the problem, so sidestep it by
agreeing immediately with no rancor ...that is the only way that
cooperation can sprout and become the way that this parenting can work
harmoniously between all parties...your brother "

I add this post because so many times people in the midst of conflict forget they once loved, and every issue becomes a power struggle. Obviously if the power struggle continues so that one party is constantly taking advantage of the other, an attorney can help present to the court the disparity in parenting. Court should be a LAST Option, not a first thought. Call me at 407-645-3297 for information on Child Custody (now called Time Sharing) or any other family law matter. Visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com for more information.

What do You do when You don't Know What to do?

2009-08-24T12:54:00.003-04:00

When all around you are losing their heads over some perceived emergency without any plan of action, What do You Do? Do you stop and ask directions? Do you sit quietly and wait for the storm to pass, then clean up the mess and plan better to prevent future emergencies? Do you lead the charge, yelling do something to those around you who neither know what needs to be done nor how to go about doing it?
I am one who addresses those emergencies in life with a calm reflection. I have seen the damage done by a hasty response. I have witnessed the exponential increase in stress caused by the "Chicken Little" response of "the sky is falling".
Many years ago, I was the one to notice the sky falling and attempt to warn those around me. Working on the electrical plant of a Nuclear Submarine, I would many times see an emergency arrise on the meters and guages and it was my duty to not only note the changes, but to recommend actions to prevent damage to crucial equipment. Others might jump in before seeing All the indicators, trying to fix the first indications only to compound the real source of the problem. Many times, waiting for the opportune moment to suggest a better course of action means being heard rather than ignored.
In my practice, I see people in some of their worst situations, impending death, Family strife, marital strife, Divorce, etc. Many times alcoholism or drug addiction play a part in destroyed relationships. Other times, simple communication issues cause complete distrust or misunderstanding. An outsider who has witnessed the progression of strife, can see the direction, even if he or she cannot adequately communicate to the parties involved.
Life can be like that. Make a friendly suggestion before the friend recognizes the dire straits, and risk being ignored. Once the magnitude of problem is considered, a timely suggestion means all the difference in the world. Call me at 407-645-3297 or visit my website at www.aubreylaw.com and let me help you recognize the symptoms and solutions to your problems.

Making Sound Decisions

2009-08-24T09:47:00.003-04:00

Most people assume that given all relevant information, they will make sound decisions. Many people however, do not know when they have all the relevant information and may consider much irrelevant information in their decision making process.
When considering a contract, You Need An Attorney.
Contracts take many forms and all are considered by the courts to be a law between the parties. Whether the contract is for a Water Purification System in your home, a Home Security Monitoring Agreement, a Child Support or Alimony Agreement, an Insurance Settlement, a Probate Accounting, an agreement for piano lessons, a Timeshare Purchase, a Lease, or the purchase of an appliance with a warranty, You Need An Attorney. The company presenting the contract for your signature no doubt had an attorney look at the document to determine its legality and enforceability. You should also have an attorney review the contract. Most Insurance companies have staffs of attorneys to draft and review settlement agreements. The agreements are presented to the consumer by "Adjusters" who work for the insurance company. You the consumer need an attorney as well.

Making Sound Decisions

2009-08-24T09:33:00.004-04:00

Most people assume that given all relevant information they can make the best decision. Knowing what information is relevant can be a tricky proposition. One of my colleagues runs a commercial in the Orlando area wherein she says, if an insurance company sends an adjuster to your home to settle a claim, YOU NEED A LAWYER. The Insurance Company employs Many attorneys, and investigators, (called adjusters) to value your claim. These employees of the insurance company owe loyalty to the company, not to you the consumer. YOU NEED A LAWYER!

When presented with a contract of any kind, whether it be to purchase and install a security system or water softener, to purchase piano lessons for your child, to purchase or lease a home, to settle a matter in court, to divide a business interest, You Need an Attorney!

Even people who have attorneys at their disposal, be they family members, close personal friends, or even retained attorneys, may be reluctant to call and ask the important questions, primarily, WHAT INFORMATION IS RELEVANT TO MAKING THIS DECISION?

Sometimes important information to one party in a transaction is not important at all to the other party. Many times, irrelevant information is presented as a reason for the decision to go a certain way. These negotiation tactics harm the consumer if the consumer is unaware. An Attorney, working for you, can help make the best decision by ensuring all RELEVANT information is considered, and all Irrelevant information is ignored.

If you owed money, you would pay it. If you are owed money, you should receive it. Sometimes the question of who owes money to whom can be more complex than one piece of paper would indicate.

What does the Law Require?

2009-08-20T11:45:00.003-04:00

Many questions to attorneys ask, "What is required by Law" in a given situation. To begin to answer this question, contact an attorney, www.aubreylaw.com or www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw or www.FloridaGuardianAttorney.com
Sometimes the Law requires less than our own Morality might believe is due. Other times, the Law may require significantly More than we truly believe is due and oweing.

One example can be found in Credit Card Interest Rates. We borrow money and expect to pay interest until the debt is extinguished. What we do not expect is that our creditor, be it Visa, MasterCard, AmericanExpress or Discover, will work to collect every dollar possible under the contract.

We all know we will owe interest, perhaps even cash advance fees; however, what if the Credit Company lowers our "Available Credit" to a point below our current "Outstanding Credit"? Then Overlimit fees apply. If the Minimum Payment is not made we expect to pay a penalty; however, when the Lowered Available Credit causes an Overbalance condition with additional fees, and the Required Minimum Payment is increased by the Total Amount Over Limit, what was once a $150 or $250 payment is suddenly and UNEXPECTEDLY a Minimum Payment Due of $765 or worse. Additionally, the $39 overlimit fees along with the increased Interest Rate due to being Overlimit (usually a jump in interest of 10% to 25%) make the Credit Card Company a SIGNIFICANT REVENUE SOURCE. Why do you think the credit companies extend credit and solicit new credit even when people are making minimum payments?

All this as an example of What Does the Law Require. A new law gives consumers significantly more protection from the "legal" overreaching by credit companies. You can get more information at the following websites:

http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/obama-signs-credit-card-law-1282.php

http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/08/20/new-credit-card-laws/

http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/credit-card-act-takes-effect-1282.php

The 8 Major Benefits of the new Law can be found here: http://www.bankrate.com/finance/credit-cards/8-major-benefits-of-new-credit-card-law-1.aspx

The real key is to Know What the Law Requires, and don't allow Fear or Intimidation to force you to do what the Law does not or cannot require.

How to Be a Good Parent

2009-08-18T12:47:00.004-04:00

In court today, Judge Munyon ( Ninth Circuit, Orange County, Domestic) noted that Good Parents are on time to pick up their children. This got me thinking, what other qualities do Good Parents Share?
1. GP's Cooperate for their children. They work together, recognizing that Children need Stability.
2. GP's NEVER Disparage the other Parent. Parents should Never disparage, or allow to be disparaged, the other parent, in the child's presence. Not speaking ill of the other parent is a good idea for avoiding divorce, as well as dealing in and after divorce. Speaking ill of another says more about the speaker than the target.
3. GP's Cooperate With Their Children. Work with your children to show them Why. Why do I have to clean my room? Because I want it clean. Because I said so. Because . . . how about because a clean room helps you get ready in the morning, helps you find your toys when you want to play, helps you be healthier (use a vacuum to show all the dirt and grime that stays on the floor of even a clean room - how much more filth in a messy room). Answering the Why's in life helps children understand the world around them much more than "Just do as you're told" ever helps them get along in life.
4. GP's give their children time, in quality. I hear people say, "its quality not quantity that counts" but I disagree. A Quantity of Quality time makes good parents out of children.
5. GP's provide for their children. Not because a court order says to provide child support, but because good parents provide for their children. So many college graduates tell of parents working two jobs to send them to school. That Schooling and example lead to a life of Working to better deserve the Good Parents.
6. GP's Always let their children know they are Wanted and Loved. Even when the children are bad, don't eat their veggies, don't share their toys, etc. Good Parents know the difference between Loving Children and approving actions. GP's do this by example. GP's treat others the same way they teach their children to treat others. Teaching by Example that Lying is bad, Sharing is Good, Work is Good, Language is important, Doing what you say is more important that saying too much.

More on Support - this time for the ladies

2009-08-12T11:15:00.003-04:00

Here are 7 things every girl should know before having sex, or the resulting kids.
1. Your First Responsibility is to Your Child. No matter how sweet, supportive, loving, cute, etc. the boy is, he will NEVER carry the child 9 months awaiting its arrival.
2. NO form of birth control is 100% effective. The "Virgin Mary" practiced Abstinance and we see how that turned out. (insert laughter here)
3. You are legally responsible for the child, even if you didn't want to have a baby. It doesn't matter that you used birth control, or that you wanted to give the child up for adoption.
4. Child Support includes more than money. It includes emotional support, love, food, shelter, clothing, education, TIME, attention . . . even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired, sick, busy . . .
5. A child ties you to the father for life. Not only the 18 years to raise the child, but weddings, funerals, etc. for life.
6. The Father is responsible for child support once the child is born, not matter what your agreements. He is responsible to assist you with medical care before the child is born as well.
7. The Florida Department of Revenue's Child Support Enforcement Program can help. They can: locate noncustodial parents; determine paternity; obtain orders for support through the court system; enforce, collect and distribute support payments to the custodial parent.

An attorney may also assist in these areas. Call me or visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ if you have any questions.

Raising a child is difficult under the best circumstances. Do not make it even harder by ignoring real issues or avoiding conflict in an attempt to make someone else happy. Your First Responsibility is to your Child.

Child Support

2009-08-10T13:48:00.004-04:00

Here are 7 things your "Son" should know before having sex, or the resulting children.
1. You are legally responsible for the child you father, even if you didn't want to have a baby. It doesn't matter that you used birth control, or that you wanted to give the child up for adoption.
2. Child Support includes more than money. It includes emotional support, love, food, shelter, clothing, education, TIME, attention . . . even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired, sick, busy . . .
3. You will have to pay Child Support in the form of money until the child reaches 18. Even if you are out of work, in jail, or can't afford your own rent and living expenses.
4. You must pay Child Support even if the mother recieves welfare and food stamps. EVEN IF SHE MARRIES SOMEONE ELSE, who has a good job, who gets called Daddy . . .
5. You cannot avoid Child Support by leaving the state; and certainly not by marrying someone else. Not even by having more children.
6. If you do not pay child support, your credit may be damaged. Your bank account may be seized. Your paycheck may be garnished. You may not get a tax refund you earned. Worse, YOU may be thrown IN JAIL.
7. Only You control when, where and with whom you have sex. It is beyond your control whether the sex you have results in a child. Never tell children you did not want/plan/love them. Being a father begins with wanting, planning and loving the child.
For more information, visit my website at http://www.aubreylaw.com/ or www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw

Step One - Establish Paternity

2009-08-07T10:40:00.003-04:00

Why? Your child DESERVES the support of BOTH parents. It takes two to conceive the child, and psychological studies cited in most states show two parents are better than one.
You may ask, "How can I establish paternity?"
For children born to a married couple, paternity is PRESUMED to be the Husband.
In Unmarried couples, the Father can Voluntarily establish paternity by allowing or acknowledging the child through the Birth Certificate. HOWEVER, just because your name is listed on the Birth Certificate, doesn't make Paternity certain. If both the Unmarried Mother and Unmarried Father sign a Paternity Acknowledgement Form (available at most Hospitals, Birthing Centers, all Public Health Units, all Department of Children and Families offices, and the Office fo Vital Statistics) the matter can be established thereafter.
A simple blood test may lend insight to paternity, but this is NOT conclusive. When more certainty is required, a genetic test can determine to a very high degree of certainty, who is the father, or not. The Florida Department of Revenue can provide testing information, as can this office.
Again, WHY? In the long term, to secure an inheritance. Also, to show the true Father's name on the Birth Certificate, to allow the child to be connected fully to both parents and their families. For Legal Proof of the childs identity, for Support, both Financial and Medical, Paternity is crucial for Social Security, Veterans and Disability Benefits.

Dementia? Alzheimer's Disease? Memory Problems?

2009-08-05T14:12:00.003-04:00

Many people ask, "how do I know what is normal aging and what is Alzheimer's Disease (AD) or Dementia?
First, the term Dementia describes a whole group of memory problesm caused by changes in the Human Brain's overall function. Some of the symptoms may be:
1. Asking the same questions repeatedly
2. Getting lost in very familiar surroundings and places
3. Neglecting personal safety and security measures
4. Being disoriented about time, place or people
5. Neglecting personal hygiene and nutrition
6. Being unable to follow simple directions
When these symptoms are noted together, frequently the cause is Dementia.
Dementia itself may be caused by any number of other neurological basis, including Alzheimer's Disease or stroke, but also possibly cause by treatable conditions such as High Fever, Dehydration, reactions to food or medicines, vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems or a minor head injury.
The real question for caregiver is, "do these symptoms impact daily life?" Many times they indicate a need for an Assisted Living environment or Adult Congregate Living Facility. Other times families may be able to provide all necessary care. In either instance, an attorney can be quite helpful in making arrangements and transitions. Call me if you have further questions. Aubrey Ducker (407) 645-3297

Ring That Bell

2009-08-04T12:13:00.004-04:00

There are many ways to ring a bell. The large Wheel in the background is attached to a one-inch rope passing from the steeple of the First Baptist Church in America to the Music Director's office. Pulling the rope rotates the bell to strike the large "ball clapper." In this manner the bell rotates and the clapper is relatively stationary. The use of a one inch rope, indicates the weight of the bell and the potential momentum imparted to the person pulling on the rope.

The steeple also has a clock. The clock has a mechanism to ring the bell on the hour and 1/2 hour by use of the "hammer or "alternate clapper." The clock mechanism can't produce the force necessary to move the entire bell, thus the use of a much lighter hammer.

The hammer also attaches to a much smaller rope passing from the steeple to the interior of the church. Pulling the much smaller rope rings the bell, but the bell remains relatively stationary.

All this to say there are many ways to ring a bell.

There are also many ways to pursue your legal rememdy. Choosing an attorney who understands the differences between Litigation and Mediation, between Fighting it Out and Working it Out, can mean the difference between years of litigation and moving on with your life.

Brighter Days Ahead

2009-06-23T17:42:00.004-04:00

Its raining again. When it Rains, it Pours. Sometimes troubles come, sometimes they stick around a while.

Alzheimers can be like that. It shows up, and won't go away. Many times the "episodes" can be overlooked. It doesn't happen very often, its just a nuissance. Forgetful. Oops.

As people age, some of the normal progressions may become exagerated and excuses become more frequent.

Know when to say when. When you need help, ask. Friends, Family, Organizations and others stand by ready to lend a helping hand. Before it pours. Before you lose control.

Call me. 407-645-3297 at the office. 407-718-5678 is my cell. I am here to help.

Transferring Real Property outside of Probate

2009-06-17T15:31:00.005-04:00

Many people want to know, How do I leave my legacy to my children without their having to go through the hassle of Probate. Sometimes the fear of probate is unwarranted. Many times the fear of costs for probate prevent people taking the simple step of calling an attorney to inquire. Remember, if you never ask a question, the answer always remains, "NO".

Probate costs are monitored byt he court, with Judges signing off on most fee applications. Many times an attorney will agree to a lesser rate if he or she has represented you or the decedent in the past.

Sometimes however, an attorney may be able to suggest ways to avoid probate altogether. Instruments such as "Life Estate Deeds" and Lady Bird Deeds may be very useful in allowing a senior to maintain control of their property right up until death, then avoid probate by having it transferred through the prior filed deed. Many times you just have to know what questions to ask.

Friends

2009-06-16T17:13:00.003-04:00

Friends are the Family we Choose for ourselves. I hope you have lots of friends. I hope they are the best kind of friends. Friends listen. Friends hear. Friends see. Friends speak. Friends touch. Not just our lives but our very souls.

One of my clients, who is also a friend loaned me this:

If we are dancing, and stepping on each other's toes, we work to not do that anymore, rather than seek out another partner.

I kind of like my version better:

When we dance, if I step on your toes, please don't stop dancing. Just let me know so I can try to dance better. But if you stop dancing with me, the dance may be lost forever.

Speaking engagement on Saturday

2009-06-12T09:45:00.003-04:00

My wife will be speaking at the second anniversary of the Professional Men's Christian Fellowship Meeting at Baldwin Park on Saturday, June 13th at 6:30 PM. Having worked with her on the outline for her topic, Spiritual Empowerment During Economic Slowdown or Financial Issues During Recession, I wanted to share some excerpts here.

Personal Skills related to Financial Management

a. Earning potential
i. Education
ii. Training
iii. Ability
iv. Societal Need

b. Personal Management potential
i. Budgeting
ii. Time – everybody gets the same 24 hours per day
iii. Talents – Know which talents serve you best
iv. Treasures – Money Management – Cash Flow
v. Keeping up with the Neighbors – Things – Needs v. Wants

Source of Financial Crisis

A. Spending more than we earn

1. Knowing what we earn
a. Gross Pay – Wages Tips and other Compensation
b. Federal Tax Withheld
c. Social Security Tax Withheld
d. Medicare Tax Withheld
e. Health Insurance Paid by Employer
f. 401K or other Retirement Contributions
g. All other deductions (Union Dues)
h. Net Pay

2. Knowing what we spend
a. Fill up the gas tank
b. Lunch out
c. Dinner out with the family
d. Trip to the Grocery Store
e. “Unexpected Expenditures”
New Tires, brakes, car repairs not covered by the warranty
Medical co-pays
Emergencies

3. Spending Wisely - Budgeting

Customer Service and Community Relations

2009-06-10T11:54:00.003-04:00

It Takes a Villiage to Raise a Child. No doubt you heard the title of Hillary Clinton's book published many years ago. She cited the African proverb to show that we are all connected and the success of the least is in many ways related to the success of the whole.

In Winter Park, Florida, many people know Andy. He was adopted about 40 years ago as an infant. As he developed, his parents discovered he was a victim of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. For many years he has been seen riding his shiny red bicycle around the neighborhoods, many people unaware of his disabilities. Sometimes he yells at cars which do not stop at red octagonal signs. Sometimes he yells at people who run or walk in the "bicycle lanes", and sometimes he just yells. He is a wonderfully nice man, but his disability prevents his knowing what to say or not say. If questioned about how he should react to any given situation, he may answer "do what Jesus would do."

He works occasionally at Tijuana Flats, one of my daughter's Favorite Restaurants. he picks up trash and empty trays from tables. He moves chairs in and out and does other odd jobs. One day a customer was upset because of something Andy had said or done. When she approached the manager to express her concern, she told him that if Andy continued to work there, she and her family would not come back. The manager, in true customer service fashion, provided her with a gift certificate to the restaurant and informed her of the other locations around the city where she could dine without having Andy disturb her meal. He also said she was welcome to come back, but would likely find Andy at the restaurant as he was a valued employee.

Last weekend, I saw Andy's parents dropping him off at work on a Saturday. Normally he doesn't work weekends when the restaurant is busier. This day the boss had called him to come in special. He was thrilled. I pray we can all look for the Andy in our life and remember, it takes a villiage.

Great Resources for Family Law Issues

2009-06-04T12:23:00.005-04:00

You can always visit my site at http://www.aubreylaw.com/

If you choose, you can visit the site http://lawyers.com/duckerlaw/

If you visited the Lawyers.com site, you might find an update on current family law issues at:

http://lawyers.com/duckerlaw/FamilyLawNewsletter.jsp

Sometimes a little information can help you to ask the right questions.

What do you want to learn?

The Family Law Newsletter is created and maintained by Lexis/Nexis, one of the leaders in Legal Research Sources. Below are some current excerpts:

Juvenile Litigation with Respect to Institutional Confinement Facilities

There are many juveniles that are confined to public and private institutions. Many of the institutions have deplorable conditions. Juveniles are often held in dingy cells or small, dark rooms and are confined for hours, days, or weeks. Often times juveniles are deprived of exercise, recreational activities and schooling. Sometimes juveniles are even supervised by untrained or inadequate staff as well.More...

Child Custody and Religion

Religion is usually not an issue in child custody proceedings, even if the parents practice different religions. For example, if a child has a Christian mother and a Jewish father, a court will not consider the merits of either religion in determining which parent should have custody of the child. The court will grant custody to one parent, or joint custody to both parents, and the child will be exposed to both the mother's religion and the father's religion.More...

Postmarital Agreements

A postmarital agreement, or postnuptial agreement, is an agreement executed by a husband and wife after they are married. More...

Enforcement of Child Support

When a court enters an order of child support, it orders one party to pay a certain sum of money to another for the support of a child. The person who is ordered to pay is called the obligor. The person who received the payment is the obligee. The amount of child support that is payable is usually based on state law that takes into consideration the number of children for which an obligor is responsible and the amount of income the obligor earns from all sources. More...

Adoption and Safe Families Act - Overview

In 1997, the United States Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA). The ASFA was enacted to modify and clarify certain requirements of the Adoption Assistance and Child Welfare Act, a federal law enacted in 1980, and the Family Preservation and Support Services Act, a federal law enacted in 1984. More...

When Its Over

2009-04-15T14:22:00.004-04:00

How do you know when the marriage is truly OVER?

A Few Questions:
Has counseling been attempted, in good faith by both parties?
Has the "objectional conduct" (whether that be financial irresponsibility, adultery, abuse or disrespect) continued despite numerous suggestions, demands, ultimatums, counseling sessions and threats?
Have you put forth every effort to follow the Serenity Prayer?

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Are there things you cannot change that your partner cannot forgive?
Are there things your partner cannot change that you cannot forgive?

If you answer yes to these questions, then it is time for a divorce. Children do not flourish in an environment of discord, anger, mistrust and false security. If you would get divorced but for having children, how does your conflict affect the children?

Most people who call my office either Know their marriage is over, or Want to Know if their marriage can be saved. Unfortunately, Whether their marriage is over or salvageable is one question they have to answer for themselves. If you are looking here for the answer, call me and lets discuss the situation. I'll try to help You find the right answer for You.

Happy Anniversary Baby, Got You on my Mind

2009-03-26T15:51:00.003-04:00

21 years ago, I married Laurie. We dated for more than a year and were engaged more than 9 months. At the time, I was a sailor in the U.S. Navy; she was an attorney at the lawfirm of Maguire, Voorhis and Wells in Orlando. I do not know the secret to a happy marriage; in reality I have learned more about marriage from the couples I counsel in Divorce cases. Many petty squabbles will doom any marriage not based in Mutual Love and Respect. Marriage is in fact a Partnership. Both parties must give. How much? Not 50/50. Each party must give 100% effort to the cause for a marriage to last. Even then, health concerns later in life can strain even the best marriage. Practicing in Elder Law and Family Law has allowed me to work with people who after 40, 50 and even 60 years have decided to end their marriage. This truly puts my 21 years into perspective. That said, I love you, Laurie.

Living Will form for a Laugh

2009-03-12T17:53:00.002-04:00

I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or doctors interested in simply running up their bills and making money for the hospital. Therefore, if a reasonable amount of time passes (3 days) and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Cream gravy
Sex
Mexican food
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Cup of tea
or Chocolate
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!

Custody, timesharing, parenting plans

2009-03-12T14:20:00.000-04:00

The Language of Divorce has been changed. No more are there Custodial or Primary Custodial Parents. Now each parent has a timeshareing arrangement intended to provide the maximum contact with the child and lesson hostility and conflict over who has "Custody" or who "makes the Decisions."

In reality, the Florida Legislature in attempting to lower conflict in divorce cases may have inadvertently muddied the waters for a little while. Reality suggests that parenting plans need to be precise to allow the police officer called to the scene to interpret with whom the child should leave the ball field.

All too often, conflict arrises when Dad took little Johnny to the soccer game and Mom arrived to watch. Since it is "Dad's visitation" he wants to take Johnny home to drop him off at Mom's house. Mom naturaly wants to take Johnny home to prevent Dad coming to her house, again, and snooping around who else might be there, or just hanging around hoping to "talk." This scenario plays out in many ways, but the bottom line is:

Precise Parenting Plans Prevent Parental Problems.

Visit me at www.aubreylaw.com for help with your Parenting Plan Problems.

Best Paternity Joke

2009-03-03T14:11:00.000-05:00

Who Should Get Custody?

A man and his wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother's attorney leaped to his feet and protested to the judge that since she had carried them for 9 months, diapered their bottoms, taken care of them and generally "brought the children into this world," she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked the man for his justification.

After a long silence, the man's attorney slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Ba da bing . . .

Of course children do not "belong" to either parent. Children are referred to in courts as "Our Children" because to call them "My son/daughter/child" implies an exclusivity of parentage. As everybody knows, it takes two to tango, and if the "tango" results in a child, both parents have responsibilities to care and provide for the child. For help with child support, custody, visitation, alimony, divorce and other family law issues, call an attorney. Or, go to www.aubreylaw.com

Where to go for the information you need

2009-03-02T09:58:00.001-05:00

One of the greatest sources for information of any type is the University. In the area of Elder Law, Stetson University is one of the best sources for all information. No matter the question, this site has the answer. http://justice.law.stetson.edu/excellence/elderlaw/eldersites.htm
While the site require some time to locate the particular answer you seek, know every resource available on the subject is found there. If you still have questions, call me or check out one of my websites, www.aubreylaw.com www.lawyers.com/duckerlaw or www.Floridaguardianattorney.com

New Numbers for Medicaid Qualification

2009-02-27T15:19:00.000-05:00

Here are some new numbers to update the Medicaid Qualification note earlier:
Community Spouse Resource Allowance: $ 109,560.00
Resource Allowance for an Individual: $ 2,000.00
Resource Allowance for a Couple: (both husband and wife in a nursing home) $ 3,000.00
Minimum Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance: $ 1,750.00
Maximum Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance: $ 2,739.00
Monthly Personal Needs Allowance: $ 35.00
Shelter Allowance: $ 525.00
Standard Utility Allowance: $ 198.00
Divestment Penalty Divisor: $ 5,000.00
Income Cap Amount: $ 2,022.00
Home Equity Limit: $ 500,000.00

Give Gifts with Warm Hands

2009-02-23T09:59:00.000-05:00

Heirs only arrive after death. It is much better to give gifts while the recipient can say thank you. Who wants to wait until someone dies in order to inheirit the land, jewelry, and other possessions of life. In my office I meet people very often who want to write a Will. On many occasions it seems people want to allow some decisions about the division of property to be made by the heirs "After I am gone." "Ill let my children figure that out," they will say.

I can honestly say I see nothing worse than putting children to work deciding who gets what after you are gone. Even if they get along great and are perfectly attuned to your wishes, to leave that burden for them is a terrible curse and can be dangerous to your estate. One may not want to take anything, but have regrets later. There may be one item of furniture they both want causing years of mental anguish. Probate costs are minimal with a well-drafted will that leaves nothing to be worried about later. When the Personal Representative or Executor is forced to make judgment decisions, probate costs skyrocket and may take a much greater portion of the estate than would otherwise be required.

Give gifts while you are alive, with "Warm Hands", so that when your hands are cold in death, you may be eulagized as a generous person who thought of others. Don't set up problems for your children. Relieve them of the burdens of probate by making those decisions in your will or prior to your death.

The Most Important Thing

2009-02-19T12:45:00.000-05:00

I don't normally like tearjerker stories; however, the following link shows what can happen when Customer Service is taken personally by the lowest of employees.
http://www.stservicemovie.com/

Thanks, Aubrey

P.S. If you want to check out my site, go to www.aubreylaw.com
Thanks

Check out my friend's music

2009-02-17T15:16:00.000-05:00

You can listen freely at http://www.myspace.com/voodooaudio

Rob is a great musician.

Medicaid Income and Asset limits

2009-02-13T14:30:00.000-05:00

As of July 2008, in Florida, the Medicaid qualification limits are as follows:

Community Spouse Resource allowance: $104,400.00

Individual Resource Allowance: $2,000.00

Couple's Resource Allowance: (Assuming both in Nursing Home) $3,000.00

Minimum Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance: $1,750.00

Maximum Monthly Maintenance Needs Allowance: $2,610.00

Personal Needs Allowance: $35.00

Shelter Allowance: $525.00

Standard Utility Allowance: $198.00

Maximum Income Allowable: $1,911.00

Home Equity Limit for Qualification: $500,000.00

Please consult an attorney for application of these limits to your Individual Situation. Many complicated rules may affect your individual qualification for Medicaid Nursing home payments.

Economic Down times mean opportunity

2009-02-13T12:31:00.000-05:00

Many clients ask whether they can afford to get divorced in this bad economy. The answer for some may be no, but the answer for many more may be YES! The economy presents a nationwide downer. Moods are bleak, consumer confidence is at record lows. Now is the time to change your outlook by fixing that nagging home problem once and for all. How could your life be changed by making changes at home now.

All over the country, people are facing debt issues, bankruptcy considerations, loan writedowns and writeoffs. With investments such as 401K and stock funds low, this may be the time to split those and move on with independence to invest again.

Home values are lower than ever presenting a unique opportunity to buy out your spouse at a discount. Yes, you may have to give up some of your desires, but with equity very low, a buyout is more affordable now than ever. Offsets of stock funds against equity in homes with tax advantages on both sides may allow you and your spouse to fight less and agree more to resolve your disagreements once and for all.

Who is working for you

2009-02-11T20:38:00.000-05:00

Most law firms have many different jobs performed by a variety of people. Who is working for you? The Attorney you hired may or may not be the person performing most of the work on your file. Paralegals, legal assistants, legal secretary and the file clerk could all handle different matters within a single file. Make sure when you recieve legal advice, it is coming from the attorney you hired.

The attorney you hire should be the person you are most comfortable talking about your most intimate secrets. Your attorney needs for you to be completely candid. If your spouse cheated many years ago, that may be important today even if you have cheated more recently. Sometimes clients believe their spouse will not air their dirty laundry and are then three steps behind when the information comes out before the court.

Your attorney will and must keep your secrets. That is the heart of the Attorney client privilege. In order to fully assist you, you must be completely candid with your attorney. Your attorney should be completely candid with you as well. In order for you to make the best decisions within your particular problem, you must know what all possible outcomes are. Many seemingly simple questions have a multitude of possible answers depending on not only your desires, but those of your opponent, the perogatives of the judge in your case, previous decisions, called Caselaw, as well as simply potential outcomes.

Medicaid Planning continued

2009-02-11T14:43:00.000-05:00

Although we try to avoid generalizations, many deferred annuities are sold to elderly persons because of large commissions, rather than for good investment reasons. It is generally inappropriate to sell an 80-year-old person in a 15% tax bracket a deferred annuity at a low interest rate that carries a surrender charge for the next seven years. When the children inherit the principal, they will most likely be in a higher tax bracket, and, without the stepped up basis, will pay tax at ordinary income tax rates on all of the deferred income.

Many seniors purchase annuities out of the misplaced fear of protection from nursing home costs and often with the discouragement of purchasing valuable long term care insurance. Individuals should consult their financial advisor before purchasing a deferred annuity after retirement.

If an individual has three years of nursing home insurance they, or their power of attorney holder, can legally give away their wealth to their children more than three years before application for Medicaid. Only as a last resort should that certain kind of Medicaid annuity be considered.

However, as a last resort, annuities may save much of the couple’s net worth from the feared nursing home “spend-down”. They may also preserve the single nursing home resident’s estate for their children, all perfectly legal if you follow the rules. With proper Medicaid planning, a client can protect a large portion of their net worth from the erosion of the almost inevitable nursing home costs.

Medicaid Planning Continued:

2009-02-11T14:40:00.000-05:00

It is perfectly legal and ethical to plan to protect assets from erosion due to nursing home costs, as long as the federal and state rules are followed. Although Florida’s rules are fairer than many states, the rules are so complicated as to almost require the counsel of an elder law attorney.

Strategies differ for a married couple and an unmarried nursing home resident. With a married couple, one spouse will reside in a nursing home (called the “institutional spouse”) and the other spouse will continue to reside in the residence (called the well spouse or the “community spouse”).

There are limits on what assets the couple is permitted to keep, called “exempt” assets, which includes a residence, car, burial plots, etc, together with a cash reserve of more than $96,000 this year. Although for some couples this amount may seem large, for most retired couples this amount is far less than their net worth. A spouse has a legal obligation of support even if it is a recent short-term marriage and even if they have “pre-nuptial” agreement. A single person’s cash reserve may be limited to only $2,000.All other assets are either “countable” assets, which disqualify the client from Medicaid nursing home benefits, or they are “unavailable” assets, which do not disqualify one from such benefits.

For example, “unavailable” assets such as a spousal IRA or Limited Partnership unit or certain annuity investments may be able to be kept, while still qualifying for Medicaid nursing care. It is not illegal to reposition a client’s assets for good investment planning, which may also lead to Medicaid qualification, again as long as the rules are followed.

Goal of Medicaid Planning

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Similarly, the goal of Medicaid planning is to avoid spousal impoverishment and the depletion of the inheritance that would pass to the children. In 1988, the United States Congress passed the Spousal Impoverishment Act, which together with the Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1993, provide the legal means to qualify for Medicaid nursing home care without completely “going broke”.

The difference between tax planning and Medicaid planning is that tax planning involves one body of federal tax law, which varies little from state to state. However, since the states pay 50% of Medicaid benefits, each state enacts their own rules to administer the Medicaid program. Thus, a client may qualify for Medicaid under the Florida rules by investing in certain acceptable types of annuities, but then be moved by their child to their child’s northern state and find they are ineligible for Medicaid, but have no available assets to pay their nursing home costs due to their prior investment and planning decisions.

is Medicaid Planning legal, necessary?

2009-02-11T14:35:00.000-05:00

Of all couples over age 65, at least 70% will need nursing home care for one of the spouses. Unfortunately, many couples wrongly believe that the transfer of their assets to their revocable Living Trust will protect them from Medicaid recovery. Even with a revocable trust, the cost of nursing home care, sometimes exceeding $50,000 per year, can quickly deplete the savings of the average senior. Revocable trusts are an important planning technique for minimizing the costs and time delays of probate administration and for providing continuity of management in case of disability, as well as, in many cases, minimizing estate taxation.

Congress makes the rules of estate taxation and advisors help their clients utilize these rules to their clients’ advantage. Everyone accepts the fact that estate tax planning is perfectly legal, as long as the techniques utilized are not abusive. The goal of such estate tax planning is to completely avoid estate tax when the first spouse dies, and after the death of the second spouse, when estate taxes may be due, to pass the maximum legal amount to the client’s children or other beneficiaries in order to “keep it in the family”, paying as little as possible to Uncle Sam.

Goals of Attorney

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My philosophy is summed up by the statement, Service to the Client. I endeavor to provide legal advice that serves the client's interest within the scope of the situation faced. Personal service is a hallmark of my practice. Effectiveness and efficiency are also my goals.

Attorney's fees are reasonable - considering

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Many people wonder how attorney's arrive at their retainer or fees charged. The determination of what is reasonable considers many variables including at least the following: the time and labor required of the task presented, the novelty, complexity, or difficulty of the questions involved, the skills requisite to perform the legal service properly.

Additionally, the attorney may consider whether the acceptance of the particular employment will preclude other employment by the lawyer and the fee, or rate, customarily charged in the locality, Orlando, Central Florida, Winter Park, etc., for legal services of a comparable or similar nature.

The attorney may also consider the significance of, or amount involved in, the subject matter of the representation, the responsibility involved in the representation, and the results obtained.

More important considerations may include any time limitations imposed by the client or by the circumstances and, as between attorney and client, any additional or special time demands or requests of the attorney by the client.

Of course the attorney may also consider the length of the professional relationship with the particluar client and the nature of previous work involved.

Finally and perhaps most important in the determination of attorney's fees in a given case are the experience, reputation, diligence, and ability of the lawyer performing the service and the skill, expertise, or efficiency of effort reflected in the actual providing of such services. Whether the fee is fixed or contingent and the client’s ability to pay being dependent on the outcome of the representation may also factor importantly.

Judges and Counselors

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One judge in my district put it this way, “I have more than 1,500 different cases. Each one expects me to remember all the details in the court file, know who is telling the truth, act fairly between them, protect their children, divide their property, make the other person follow court rulings on a daily basis, and know what is in the best interests of all involved. I have maybe 30 minutes or an hour of testimony from each of them and they expect me to know what is best. I have never even seen their home, or children. How can any Judge know what is 'Best' for this family?”
Many times an attorney is simply trying to counsel the client to accept the possibilities of Divorce. Realize there are no “winners and losers” just people trying to get on with their lives. Inevitably, clients make mention of church, God, their upbringing or spouses religious life. This is the time when I truly am able to counsel as a Christian, not simply an attorney. From my own life, I cite numerous examples of God working in and through difficult times to a more Holy result. The Bible is filled with examples of broken lives being useful to God, even when the person in question did not acknowledge the broken nature of their relations. Divorce begins as a broken relationship. Whether the break results from outside forces or interior struggles, broken relations are the status. The Court acknowledges and affirms the broken relationship and divides the property, setting a course for future relations either as parents or merely former spouses.

Divorce Attorney and Collaborative Efforts

2009-02-11T12:56:00.000-05:00

No, Divorce Lawyers do not “break up” marriages. The Husband and Wife take care of that on their own. Divorce Attorneys work to help people move on with their lives and heal the pain inflicted so easily by their former spouse. Knowing also that my clients are seldom innocent bystanders on the road to Divorce, I also seek to prevent their further traumatizing the children by fighting over memories and principles.
In a majority of the 50 states, divorce is a no-fault proposition. One party simply desires to end the marriage due to “irreconcilable differences” or because as Florida requires, the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” The other party may disagree, but unless there are children involved, few courts will order the marriage continued where one party can honestly say they no longer desire to be married.
If I were a Christian Attorney, I might cite Jesus words recorded in Matthew 5:25 to my client, “Before you are dragged into court, make friends with the person who has accused you of doing wrong. If you don't, you will be handed over to the judge and then to the officer who will put you in jail.” Or perhaps more appropriate from Matthew 5:40, “If someone sues you for your shirt, give up your coat as well.”
Unfortunately, I do not believe clients will hire me, much less pay my fees when I tell them to settle quickly, and for double the demand. In reality, there are seldom clear cut cases where one party has clearly defrauded their mate. Family Law is an area that tries to boil an entire life down to a two or three-day trial, expecting the Judge to discern truth from fantasy where there are two sides and even more perspectives and potential outcomes.

Christian Attorneys? No, Attorneys who are Christians

2009-02-11T10:11:00.000-05:00

When she first called my office, she was surprised that I answered the phone rather than a secretary or receptionist. She asked for an appointment and as we confirmed time, she surprised me with the question, “I just want to make sure, you are a Christian Lawyer, aren’t you?”
Confronting this question in my office on numerous occasions, I have a standard answer, “No, I am an attorney and a Christian, but I am not a Christian Lawyer.” Unfortunately, this answer works much better in person than over the phone so I inquired as to her motive for asking. It turns out, she wanted someone she could trust not to “break up her marriage” unless it was really necessary.
With half my practice being Family Law cases, I sometimes introduce myself as a Divorce Lawyer. I do this with the knowledge that some people will immediately conjure some LA Law or Boston Legal stereotype trying to fit me into their little box. “Oh he’s one of those,” they will immediately think and dismiss me from their list for Christmas Cards.
The truth is, I have NEVER broken up a marriage. In fact, I have been happily married for more than 20 years, to my first and only wife. Only after I had served as a Guardian Ad Litem for several children, both in Divorce cases and in Abuse cases, did I even consider practicing divorce and Family Law.

Litigation by the Sea

2009-02-11T10:07:00.000-05:00

Litigation can be described as walking on the beach at the waters' edge. With each step waves can undermine your footing, eroding the very foundation on which you depend. Each action taken by one party serves to compel actions by the other party. These actions like waves my concentrate and solidify your footing, undermine your opponent's footing, or simply crash with noise and fury resulting in little else.

Who are you

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I am a divorce lawyer in Winter Park, Florida. This is my first blog, but don't let that fool you. I am routinely published in Christian Ethics Today reviewing books related to the topic. My website is www.aubreylaw.com